AND ANOTHER!

THERE ARE MORE SONGS THAT WORK WITH HAMLET CHARACTERS

AAAAAH I'M FANGIRLING SO HARD

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[Company]
Act four
A-a-act four
A-a-act four

[HORATIO]
Act four, scene five
Here's prince Hamlet
He's vengeful, spiteful
But hasn't killed himself yet
Constantly debating the new king's threat
Hoping to fight his uncle till he's gotta forfeit
Have it all, lose it all
You ready for more yet?

Ophelia, Ophelia, Ophelia is insane
Flowers are the only thing residing
Inside her brain
Not so fast!
Someone gonna come to resist him
This, folks, is why there's not a
Two-party system

You haven't met him yet, you haven't had the chance
'Cause he's been kickin' ass
At a fancy college in France
But one does not simply ignore the new king's pleas
I hope you remember Laertes, Laertes

[Company]
Lord Laertes is coming home x5
Lord he's been off at college for so long

[LAERTES]
Been avoiding Denmark
Where the freezing, howling winter winds still blow
Here, the sun comes up
And the world still spins

Hate to leave my fencing and my studies
But it seems I've got to go
I'm important back at home, you know
Over ev'rything, king's word wins

So what did I miss?
What did I miss?
Denmark, my home sweet home, I wanna give you a kiss
(Yeah, right.)

At school the crowds parted for me
Now castle life's starting to bore me
It was a damn long journey back here
And all for this

There's a letter on my desk from the new king
God, I hope he's got Hamlet beat
Osric! Help me out, won't you?
Read it to me
It says that Hamlet might be on to him, that he needs help

And that my sister is going mad
Rad!
And I could be next in line for the throne
I'm suddenly glad I paused my studies
To come back home

[Company]
That he came home
That he came home

[LAERTES]
Walking down the sad, grey halls
The ugly carpet under me
I see they still refuse to get rid
Of that stupid tapestry

But who's waitin' for me when I step to the throne?
The new king, Claudius, sitting alone
He nods at me and I respond
"What's going on?"

[CLAUDIUS]
Laertes, we are engaged in a battle for our nation's very soul
I just can't get out of the mess I'm in

Hamlet won't stop fighting
Till I step down or relinquish my control
I've been fighting for my claim to the throne
Where have you been?

[LAERTES]
Uh, France?

[CLAUDIUS]
You have to win!

[LAERTES] (Company)
Well, what'd I miss?
What'd I miss?
(He comes home to this)
Headfirst into a political abyss!
(Headfirst into the abyss!)

Ophelia's funeral is today
(Wait, she drowned?)
I guess I better think of something to say
I'm already on my way
To get to the bottom of this…
What did I miss?

[HORATIO]
Good Laertes, welcome home

[HAMLET]
Laertes! Remember me? It's Hamlet!

[HORATIO]
*eye roll at Ham*
Lord Laertes, welcome home

[Company]
Lord Laertes, welcome home, sir
You've been off at college for so long!

[LAERTES]
So what did I miss?

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This one was significantly more complicated. I had to parody instead of just changing names for a lot of it. I've been inconvenienced by a combination of Broadway and Shakespeare, which I never thought would happen, but here we are.

A calmer exit on my part this time, faeries. Stay in school and don't poison your swords.