Cassidy

The next day I sit on the ground while my father kicks me.

"Every day I wish it was you and not your sister. You should have died not her!"He shouts

Tears roll down my face

So do I

He kicks my knee. The one that just started feeling a tad bit better.

I wince out in pain

"Look at you, fucking weak. You ain't no daughter of mine" He sneers

"You're a murderer. A fucking murder. You should be dead. Your a weak, disgusting, murderer, stupid, fucking pathetic girl" He kicks me one last time this one he gives it his all

No more tears come rolling out after that.

I feel numb. My whole body is numb.

He grips me by the hair knocking my head onto the ground then pulling me up to look at him. "You should be dead, not her"He spits out

He lets me go and I fall back onto the ground as he walks down the stairs.

I sit there for what seems like hours

I finally pull myself up before falling back onto my bed.

I was 16 when Lilly died.

She was 17.

My parents decided they wanted to go see my mother's family for the weekend so me and Lilly had to look after ourselves.

We were used to it

But they decided to leave the car in case we needed anything. Lilly was 17 she could drive but she wasn't as good as she thought she was.

I was at school on Friday, the day my parents left and Lilly decided she wanted to pick me up in the car.

The roads were icy and slippy.

I was waiting outside of the school when she picked me up and when she picked me up she asked if I wanted to go and get milkshakes.

We did it every other week we tried to go and get milkshakes

I remember when we were driving, we were singing along with the radio and then the car slid on a piece of black ice spinning us right in front of another car.

It hit her side.

We flipped over and I remember her screaming for me one minute the next it was silent.

My head pounded and I was so confused about what had just happened until I looked around at my sister.

She was unconscious and I could just tell by looking at her lifeless body.

My sister was dead.

I had a concussion and scrapes and slits everywhere but that was it.

My sister died instantly.

That was the day my whole life changed.

I lost my best friend, my partner in crime, my rock, and my sounding board, just like that.

All because I wanted a milkshake

If I had just said no.

If I had just told to her go home, she would still be alive and my parents would still love me.

The months after it happened all I could see when I closed my eyes was my sister's lifeless cold body.

She was covered in blood, glass sticking out of her skin. Her eyes were wide open staring straight at me and I will live with the guilt and regret for the rest of my life.

............

I step out of the shower, my body aching.

I stare at my body in the mirror, bruises and gashes cover my body. I have never felt so ugly in my life.

I look at my wardrobe picking out a cream cardigan and pairing it with a black T-shirt and jeans.

I brush my wet brown hair, drying it a little and leaving the rest to air dry.

I slip on my boots slowly and quietly making my way down the stairs.

My father sits on the sofa with a can of beer

"Don't even think about whoring around with that boy who gave you those marks on your neck"My heart sinks realising that Dimitri left hickeys.

He says nothing else and I walk through the shattered glass on the floor exiting the house.

I wrap my hands around myself. It's freezing today.

.............

I enter the cafe smiling at Wendy as she waves at me from the kitchen

"Hi, dear"She greets

"Hello" I reply not in my usual happy tone but still.

I set my bag on to the counter and tie my long hair back into a low ponytail. I need a haircut.

Wendy walks out of the kitchen and looks at me, then looks away before giving me a second glance.

"Are you sick, Cassidy?"She asks her voice filled with concern.

"No, no, "I say quickly "Do I look bad?"I question

"Of course not, you beautiful as always, you know I always say you remind me of myself when I was young; beautiful green eyes, long brown hair and nice porcelain skin"She rambles on not answering my question any further.

I continue smiling at her as she talks.

I perch behind the counter, and I can't help but feel like I'm in one of those cheesy rom-coms. You know, the girl is lost in her daydreams about the mysterious guy. He's like this unsolved riddle that my mind just can't let go of.

I try to distract myself, counting the change in the register, and rearranging the sugar packets, but nope, my thoughts are like boomerangs, always swinging back to him.

It's kinda of funny in a way, how he's become this constant background music in my head. I mean, it's only been like a week, and here I am, all caught up in his world and I don't think he likes me at all.

Of course, he does not like me.

My parents hate me, I have no friends, I can't make friends and no boy has ever come close to me never mind kissed me.

God, I'm so stupid to think that he would want to be my friend.

The bartender said "Again?" as if Dimitri always brought girls there.

Well, of course, he has. He probably brings loads of girls everywhere. I'm not special.

He has probably kissed loads of girls and done stuff with them. He can't even smile at me, every time he sees me his smile turns into a frown, instead of him turning his frown upside down, he turns his smile upside down.

Wendy shakes me out of my head, shaking me back to reality.

"Where was that guy who you were with on your break, dear?"She asks

"I don't think we're friends anymore"I sigh

"Whys that, you two seemed happy together that day?"She says placing buns into the display.

"We're total opposites, different personalities I guess"I say quietly but loud enough for her to hear.

I stand not wanting to talk about Dimitri any more.

"I am going to make sure the tables are clean, "I say as I grab a cloth.

As I clean the tables, my mind goes back to Dimitri.

Our personalities are different.

We are opposites.

We will never be friends.

He will never like me.

I cleaned the tables even though they didn't need to be cleaned.

I even started cleaning the chairs.

I have never cleaned the chairs. I probably should start to. They are disgusting.

My focus goes on cleaning the chairs and tables.

He isn't kind so maybe it is a good idea we are not friends.

But if he is so mean why do I feel a weird connection to him every time I see him?

...................

One week passed and I have not seen Dimitri.

I haven't even thought of him.

Maybe that is a lie but still, it's only a tiny lie, it won't hurt anybody.

He hasn't come to the cafe once, that's probably a good thing.

He has probably realised that I am not fun to be around.

I'm annoying.

Maybe he hasn't been to the cafe because he's sick?

I don't care.

I do care.

I don't.

I wish I did not care.

I hope he's alright.

If a guy has not spoken to you in a week shouldn't you stop thinking about them?

I have no one to ask.

I walk into the bathroom and start running the shower, my knee is all better, I think.

It hasn't been sore at all actually. I mean I still walk with a tiny limp but it's not that sore that I can't walk at all. Thank you, Lord.

I hop into the shower and begin singing to Rhianna.Obviously.If you don't like Rhianna, then who are you?

As I continue washing my hair real good I hear my father and mother shouting at each other. They always argue.

Glass gets shattered and then the shouts die down. I let out a breath I did not know I was holding.

I wait to hear their footsteps. There is. My heart pumps my head starts hurting and my stomach rolls.

They stop at my door and I stand still, the water still dropping to the ground but my only focus is on the footsteps outside my door.

After a moment they continue walking up the hall and then disappear into a room and I sigh a breath of relief.