Jason blinked.

All traces of the silver fog had vanished like they'd never been, leaving him standing in the gardens, alone in the open night air. He wasn't quite where he remembered standing last, and to be certain, he ran his hands over the few belongings he kept on him. His Liaiser was still in his pocket with his small pouch of valuables, Sae was--

A hard lump formed in Jason's throat.

He threw his head back with a huff and made an effort to pull his hand away from the tattoo. His emotions were far too battered and frayed from tonight to even begin making sense of. He wasn't freezing them--but he was giving himself permission to sleep on them, even if it left him restless.

It was okay to be conflicted, he told himself. It was okay to be uncertain, and it didn't mean his feelings were wrong if they didn't make logical sense.

He just had to keep telling himself that as he made his way back inside the hospital.

After assuring the nurses he wouldn't remain long, he quickly found Olivia's room and slipped inside. Lydia was speaking quietly into her Liaiser and nodded a greeting to Jason as he entered, one which he returned before approaching Olivia's bedside.

Despite some vague hope that their mind-journey with Aurora might have changed something, her physical condition was yet to improve. The various devices were steady in their hums and beeps, but it was standing beside her, knowing that Olivia's spark was still there, somewhere inside that amazing brain of hers, that brought him the most comfort.

"I meant it, Shadowheart," he murmured, reaching down into the blankets to find her right hand. He squeezed her fingers gently. "I'd never bet against you. I'll return tomorrow, after I've looked into a few potential leads."

Jason's gaze fell on Olivia's bag, still resting on the side table where he'd left it.

He hesitated, then after a moment, calmly slid her bag into the pocket of his coat without giving himself a chance to consider why it might be important he do so because by Skypillar, he was not equipped to deal with the mental acrobatics tonight.

After one, last look at Olivia, Jason waved farewell to Lydia and left.

Without a true home, Jason went to the next best place. It was a decent walk, one that left him with enough time to master his breathing, to focus on the clear air, the gleaming starstone, and the twinkling stars without so much as a stray thought entering his mind until finally, he found himself on Gerald's doorstep.

Jason knocked, and within a minute, Gerald was hustling him inside with no questions except if he'd eaten yet. Much like the flower shop, Gerald's home was a chaotic mess of colour and beauty, arranged with absolutely no thought except displaying as much of it as physically possible. He'd been here once or twice before to assist with personal deliveries, but he'd never quite had the chance to simply sit and admire it.

Now, sitting on a well-worn couch wrapped in a blanket, Jason was taking the chance to do just that. He sipped at the tea from the mug, holding it with both hands as he let his eyes wander around, finding some new detail everywhere he looked.

When Gerald bustled back into the room a few minutes later, he placed the plate down on Jason's lap, then took a seat beside him on the couch.

"Thank you again, Gerald," said Jason, unable to figure out exactly why one look at the hastily-made sandwiches in front of him almost had him in tears. "It's more than I had hoped for."

Gerald leaned forward and patted Jason's shoulder before leaning back and taking a slurp from his own mug. "I know, lad. Your expectations of other people have always been rather low. Don't bother with the small talk, eat the food first. You look hungry."

Even after such straightforward permission, Jason still hesitated. It felt rude to simply begin eating in front of someone, regardless of the invitation.

"You know the best thing about having so many wall decorations?" said Gerald, his eyes off somewhere on the left far wall. "There's always something interesting to talk about, so it never gets awkward. You see that bunch of dried flowers above the doorway? Those, ha! They came from my first love. Annie, her name was. Pretty lass, a Flameheart, I think. Certainly had the temper for it. Anyway--"

Gerald continued, jumping from one conversation to the piece, never pausing long enough to leave a window for a reply. Jason placed his mug to the side, nodding politely where appropriate as he set about devouring the sandwiches. With everything that'd happened--hunting Skinwalker's Banshee, following Adande, finding Olivia--he couldn't remember eating anything except the small packet of crisps Lydia had bought from the vending machine and all but force-fed him.

Mid-explanation about a small, carved starstone headband that he'd received from a particularly grateful bride, Gerald eyed the cleaned plate with a smile.

"--I'm just surprised the other florist decided to turn her down, if you ask me. Rush job yes, but who can say no to someone on their wedding day?" said Gerald, softly clapping Jason on the back. "Would you care for another?"

"I--uh, no, thank you," said Jason. "That was more than enough."

Gerald clucked his tongue, peering into Jason's mug.

"But you do still have some tea left, and what is tea without some biscuits before bed!"

Half a packet of biscuits and a few conversations about the flower shop and its ongoing repairs later, Jason was tucked into about five layers of blankets on the couch and far too many oddly designed cushions.

"If you need anything else, you be sure to wake me up," said Gerald as he finished tucking the end of the last blanket into the cushions. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like, you know where I hide the keys. I'll be at the flower shop in the morning but feel free to sleep in as long as you like and eat whatever you might find in the fridge, though you might want to check the dates on a few things before--ah, but I'm rambling again and you look like you're about to fall asleep any second. You'll have to forgive me, my boy. Just want to make sure you're nice and taken care of."

"You always have, Gerald," said Jason, inclining his head. "Thank you."

Gerald bobbed his head. "You're welcome, lad. And just some old man advice, no matter what's wearing you down at the moment, it's probably not worth it."

Jason reached up, sliding the green hair tie out from his ponytail and letting his hair fall loose. "She is worth it. She needs me."

"Ah, the enthusiastic lass?" said Gerald. "I imagine she is, but she also needs you strong. No point killing yourself trying to keep you both afloat. You have to make sure you're breathing before you can do CPR, eh?" Gerald tilted his head. "Unless that's not what's bothering you so much?"

Jason twisted the hair tie over his fingertips, careful not to stretch it far enough to break. "What would you do if someone you trusted broke that trust, but for the right reasons? If they'd asked, I would have agreed it were necessary, but it bothers me that they didn't, even if I'm not sure they'd have even had the chance to ask." He paused, considering what he'd just said. "I'm unsure if that even makes sense."

"Hmm," said Gerald. "While it seems as though this person might have been forced into a quick decision for your own benefit, I think it's only fair that you're feeling a little betrayed since it appears they went behind your back."

Jason resisted the urge to reach for his tattoo. "What do I do?"

"For now, my suggestion is to sleep on it, and when you're ready, talk it over with them," said Gerald. He glanced at Jason's face, then gave a low chuckle and sat down on the arm of the couch. "I'm sorry, lad. Old man advice doesn't always come with a clear answer. Sometimes you just have to accept what happened and choose to forgive someone to keep moving forward."

"I know," said Jason. "Thank you again, Gerald."

"Sleep well, my boy," said Gerald, patting Jason's shoulder one last time before standing back up off the armrest. "It's good to see you finally opening up. I'll see you in the morning."

Gerald flicked the lights off and waddled off down the hall, the closing click of his bedroom door following soon after.

Jason remained sitting in the dark, listening to the muffled sounds of the City outside for a few minutes before he eventually reached down into the pocket of his coat and pulled out Olivia's bag. He rested it on his palms for a long moment, almost reaching for the clasp several times only to pull his hand away. He didn't know if he wanted the small, shadowy figure to still be inside. He needed to know, but... perhaps not tonight. Not before he'd had the chance to sleep.

In the end, Jason simply placed Olivia's bag, still closed, beside his pillow, curled right down into the blankets, and went to sleep.

*+*+*+*

Jason drifted awake the next morning warm and comfortable despite the thin slit of sunlight streaming through the curtains, and a small, chilly breeze across his cheek.

He allowed himself a few minutes to lay there, eyes closed, and simply relax. He stretched out as far as he could on the couch, sinking into the pillows and shifting his arms into a new position. As his fingers crept out from under the pillow, they brushed against something else.

His sleep-addled mind curious, Jason opened his eyes with a squint and found himself looking at Olivia's bag.

It was open.

Panic flared in a bright, blinding spot that had him awake and alert in half a heartbeat. He snatched the bag and checked inside, finding everything in place except the one thing he'd taken it to protect in the first place--the small, shadowy figure he hadn't had the courage to look at last night.

Jason kicked the blankets back, looking around for a clock before he remembered Olivia's Liaiser. The time flashing on the screen was way past the hours when Gerald should have left already, but he hadn't woken Jason on his way out--assuming he hadn't been taken by force as Jason slept, along with Banshee's Ascended. He had no idea how long it'd been, how much of a headstart...

Then all at once, his runaway thoughts came to a heart wrenching stop.

On the other end of the couch, hidden in the shadows at the crook of the armrest, sat Sae. The Ascended's head was turned, beak buried in the feathers of his back, right alongside where the head of Banshee's unconscious Ascended rested against him. Despite Jason's sudden movements, Sae's icy-blue eyes remained melted fast on the figure tucked protectively under his wing. Viri.

There was something so lost, so broken in the eyes of the Ascended he'd known for the last year.

Nothing had even come close.

Jason wasn't sure how long he'd been staring when Sae finally blinked, his eyes reluctantly lifting from the still form of Banshee's Ascended to glance at Jason. When Sae found Jason awake and watching him, he blinked again, a little faster this time.

Sae lifted his beak from his back. "I uh..." He ruffled a few careful feathers, glancing back to Viri, then turned his head back to Jason once more. "Sorry, Featherbutt. I didn't mean to still be here when you woke up but it seems I lost track of time." Sae began lifting a wing as though he intended to lay Viri down, then dropped it again and glanced out the curtains. "Heh, good thing ice birds don't melt in the sun, or--"

"Sae, it's okay," said Jason, pulling his legs closer and wrapping his hands around his knees. "You don't have to leave."

"You requested space, and I want to respect that," said Sae quietly.

Jason tapped his tattoo, turning Sae's head from the curtains. "Consider it respected. I'm ready to discuss the situation." He inclined his head towards the armrest where Sae sat. "When you're ready too, of course."

"Oh, I'm ready. Don't you worry. I've never been more ready for anything in my life--"

"Sae, I've heard more convincing lies from Regan about how much he cares about our brotherly relationship."

"Ouch, comparing me to that toxic little hatchling is a low blow," Sae said with a huff. He turned his head back to Viri, the tip of his beak resting on the feathers beside her head. "I am sorry though, Jason. I meant to give you space. I haven't been spying on you or anything. Just making sure I was in the same area."

"...But?"

Sae didn't reply at first. He just continued to let his gaze melt onto Viri, to let the depths beneath be cast adrift in the thawed waters of his snow until he squeezed them shut, sealing them away once more--or so Jason thought.

"She's my other half," said Sae, pressing his forehead against the side of Viri's head. "We were cleaved from the same heartstone, but Starsong brings us together so rarely. Sometimes I see her when Luminaries learn their partners identities, but it's never lasted long, at least not for us. Even then, though, I could always sense her. I knew where she was, I could feel her presence even if I couldn't see her, but now... now I can't, and it's like I've lost half my beak or one of my wings. It's like I've lost my connection to the outside world, like I'm trapped in the silence of my own head, and... and I just had to see her. I had to see if I could sense her, but I can't. She's right next to me, but I can't."

"I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling, Sae," murmured Jason. He leaned forward and reached out his hand towards the armrest. "But I'm sorry."

"You might be surprised," said Sae as he tucked Viri tight under a wing and fluttered onto Jason's waiting hand. "I think you're starting to."

Jason's heart skipped a beat. "Starting to what?"

Sae's gaze was all too familiar as he looked Jason straight in the eye. "Understand. Now, go eat something, and we'll talk."

*+*+*+*

Another sandwich later, Jason stood in Gerald's kitchen, rinsing the crumbs from the plate.

Sae pulled his head out from the small pantry. "You'd think that for an old guy who sells flowers, he'd understand the definition of 'the right amount of spice'. I'm pretty sure breathing the air too close to this cupboard is a health hazard."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Why should be Gerald be well versed in spices?"

"Well, spices... plants... they seem to go hand in hand, don't they?"

"You've seen his approach to handling gardening, Sae."

"Point taken." Sae fluttered down from the cupboard and onto Jason's shoulder, where he made a strange noise that was a cross between a cough and a chirp. "So. Are you feeling ready to... discuss things?"

Jason placed the plate flat in the sink and moved to close the cupboard. "I am. Is there anything you'd like to start with?"

Sae fluffed himself up into a cloud of snow. "I'd like to make sure you know that I didn't want to alter your memory without asking first, but while there are some workarounds or situations where I could have asked for permission before doing it, this wasn't one of them. You saying Banshee is Olivia' would have been a direct reveal or whatever you'd like to call it. I had to make a choice in the split second, and I tried to make the one that would have reflected your decision, if you'd had the chance."

"I understand," said Jason. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the counter, consciously ignoring the part of his brain protesting that he was even considering the possibility of--He dragged his thoughts back to a less obstructed train of thought. "Why are we able to talk about this now, then?"

"Our rules are set up in specific ways, with various failsafes and such in place," said Sae carefully. "When Viri became inactive, it essentially... unblocked some conversation options between us, since some failsafes are tied to each other."

"Such as revealing Banshee's identity."

Sae nodded. "Though people may know her identity, Viri being inactive essentially means the process of going Dark can't occur as it usually would."

"Can you tell me what you altered, exactly?"

"I basically just removed the memory link that allowed you to connect Olivia to Banshee," said Sae. "Memories are kinda... tied together. By removing the link, I made it impossible for you to connect the two ever again."

Jason considered it for a moment. For Sae to take that link after what he'd said earlier about Viri... his Ascended had given up the one chance of ever seeing his other half with this pairing.

He considered mentioning as much, but one look at Sae told Jason that his Ascended's brave face was only going to stretch so far. Even now, Sae kept glancing back to the living room, where Viri lay in Olivia's pouch once more.

Jason stood up from the counter, offering Sae a finger. "I suppose that explains my rather irrational reaction to Adande's revelation. Would it be possible for anyone else to do a similar thing?"

"I don't think so," said Sae as he stepped up onto Jason's hand. "Ascended can do it to their chosen only because of the unique bond we share through the tattoo. And if you like, I can use that same bond to return the memory to its original state."

"You can do that?"

"I can take it away, I can put it back," said Sae. "Usually I wouldn't have unless Banshee was Dark, but it doesn't exactly seem to matter right now."

"I have one more question before you do," said Jason. He swallowed, steadying himself with a breath before he asked. He had to be ready for the answer, no matter what it was. "You once told me that Ascended are whatever they need to be for their human counterpart. If that is true, then was you taking my memories without permission also included within that reasoning?"

"Starlight, no, Jason!" said Sae. He fluttered closer, sitting on the heel of Jason's hand. "You needed a partner, and you still do. You needed a partner more than you needed to trust me. She was taken, you trusted your powers, and you froze. Without her, the bond between us means nothing."

Silence passed with only the out-of-sync ticking from the clocks on the walls.

Jason nodded. "Show me."

Sae began to glow.

In his mind's eye, Jason saw a silver expanse that stretched on forever, past the horizon. He was floating, music in his heart and a dreamy haze lingering in his mind. Below, a girl with auburn hair stood swaying within the mist. Though he tried to reach her, something kept them apart, an invisible force.

It wasn't enough to stop his voice. He called out, and from below, she heard him. She reached out to him, but again, they were kept apart. He knew her. He recognised her from all the other times they'd been together in this mist, when the invisible force had pushed them not apart, but together to be bound with a command.

Save Ella Spiritcaller.

The silver stirred, not with anger but with something far more ancient as it realised he was here. The invisible force turned from a wall to a swollen tempest that consumed him and swept him out, away from this sacred place that he had disturbed without invite, yet he refused. He had to get back to the girl, his partner, the one that understood his Song. He scraped and clawed and fought the silver for every inch it pushed him back.

When it finally expelled him, he was left standing in his room with his violin, and a chunk of silver tightly clenched in a mental fist. It wasn't clear at first what he'd dragged back with him, what he'd forced the silver to give up to shove him out, but slowly, it came back into focus.

And he remembered.

He remembered the words, the realisation. He remembered the crystalline light of his Ascended in front of him, wings flared, as Jason's tattoo burned like frostbite. He knew the sharp claws inside his mind, remembered the way they severed something inside his head until it was all burned away by the frozen-white pain on his chest. He remembered his head clearing, of Sae asking him if he was in there, what he remembered...

The memory ended. Jason's knees hit the floor with a crash as he reached out for the countertop to stop his fall. He gasped for air as his tattoo burned on his skin, his hand still holding Sae and his fading light shaking, but steady.

Because, for the first time since Adande's revelation, Jason's mind felt right. The logic aligned with that feeling buried deep in his stomach that had known all along, even if his mind had been unable to make the connection.

"She really is," said Jason, breathless. "Olivia really is Banshee."

"The one and only," said Sae.

Jason took a moment, closing his eyes as everything settled once more. "Sae?"

"Yes, Featherbutt?"

"If I'm ever about to create a no-time-to-ask situation again, I want you to just freeze my mouth shut before I can say it."

Sae fluffed himself up. "Can I consider that permission granted?"

"Until you abuse the power," said Jason wryly. He stood up, straightening his shoulders and glancing towards the living room. "Until then, you and I have some some rather important matters to discuss. Have you ever heard the name 'Aurora' before?"

*+*+*+*

A/N - Henlo it me, your resident potato writer thing. I'm still a potato but I'm a potato that did something. 

Sorry, and thank you for being patient with me. <3