I'm sorry it's late. Pls don't hate me.

Everything happened quickly after that.

After handing over her fragment, the Other's influence on Ella disappeared. Her gaze softened, the hard lines on her face turning from blind hatred into grief. In a frozen moment, the weight of the world seemed to settle on her shoulders and she seemed no longer able to stand. Instead, she sat exactly where she'd stood, her attention lost in the sight of her fingers.

Unable to get a response out of Ella aside from a small nod or a shrug, Banshee left her and moved over to where Cryo knelt beside Melissa. Her fragment was in his hand, and after seeing it was still silver, Banshee breathed a silent prayer to the stars. In that, at least, they hadn't failed. This fragment could still be cleansed and saved.

But its previous owner wasn't looking as hopeful. Melissa lay still on the ground, so very still that Banshee had to hold her own breath to catch the rise of Melissa's chest. Without contact to her fragment, Melissa was no longer Manifested, but that only tightened the grip of uncertainty on Banshee's stomach.

"Is she okay?" said Banshee, taking Melissa's hand, searching for any sign of something wrong. "Why hasn't she woken up?"

"I'm uncertain," said Cryo. "The power that usually heals a Manifested appears to have cleansed her body of her physical injuries, but I can't find a reason as to why she is yet to wake, no matter how I call to her."

The uncertainty swelled.

"Let me see her fragment," said Banshee. Cryo obliged, and Banshee turned the fragment over in her fingers. "It doesn't look like anythings unusual with it." Her eyes flicked back to Melissa's face. "What do we do if she doesn't wake up? Take her to the hospital?"

Her answer came in an unexpected form. Even as she spoke, Speakers and other temple workers began to swarm the clearing, making it obvious that their fight with Ella hadn't gone unnoticed.

Banshee glanced around, half expecting to find one of the elder Luminarys standing nearby, ready to reprimand them for their actions before she remembered. Fae was still in a critical state, Golem was guarding her, and Harpy and Wyvern were clearing out the Serpent's nests. They'd been relying on Banshee and Cryo to handle Ella alone.

As medical staff attended to Melissa, Banshee stepped away, more than aware that she was just getting in the way. A Speaker approached Cryo and engaged him in a low-volume conversation. Usually, Banshee might have been annoyed that they'd gone straight to him, but right now, she was just grateful that no one was going to make her relive the memories still beating against the inside of her head. She wanted to go home and sleep, hopefully waking up to a sunrise that promised everything wasn't as bad as it seemed right now.

But she couldn't leave yet. She remained, hugging her elbows close to her sides. The tiniest smile crept onto her face as she saw Ella's previous hostage had been wrapped in a blanket and given chocolate.

That smile disappeared when temple guards approached Ella with a set of handcuffs and asked her to stand.

"What are you doing?" Banshee asked, walking over. "Why are you arresting her?"

"We're under orders from the High Speakers, who were advised by Harpy and Wyvern," said one of the guards. "Given the unusual nature of Ella's Manifested state, they felt it best that she be kept in a secure environment until further investigation could be done."

"You're jailing her?" said Banshee, incredulous. "She surrendered. The Other's hold on her is gone. Manifested are never arrested--"

"As I said," repeated the guard in a patient tone. "Given the unusual nature of Ella's case, Harpy and Wyvern advised the High Speakers to act otherwise. She will be treated with nothing but respect, Banshee, I assure you."

Banshee glanced between them. "But she surrendered--"

"Just leave it, Banshee," said Ella in a flat voice. She held out her wrists to the guard, who handcuffed her. "I wouldn't trust me either after what I did. I stole my fragment once, who's to say I can't do it again, right?"

Banshee's fingers tightened around Ella's fragment hidden in her palm. "Are you sure?"

Ella just shrugged. "I don't have anywhere else to go anyway. Why not temple grounds?"

"There's a difference between--"

Banshee cut off as another group of guards accompanied by a High Speaker in robes of swirling red and greys approached the collapsed starstone building not far from where they stood. For an innocent moment, Banshee forgot why there was so much blood, and her eyes flicked over the rubble only to catch sight of--

Her stomach turned with guilt, and she looked away.

She hadn't been the only one, either. Ella's face turned ashen, and she turned her back on the collapsed building.

"Let's go," said Ella to her guard escort. "I don't want to be here anymore."

And Banshee let her go.

She stood alone and drowning in the frozen field despite the crowd of people, a fragment in each hand. One corrupted and impossible to destroy. One silver and waiting to be cleansed. Both heavy for different reasons. For the same reason. Because she hadn't been enough to save them. Because she'd--

Cryo's hand on her shoulder snapped her vision back into focus and settled the dread stirred in her gut.

"Banshee?" he said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"No," she whispered, ashamed to admit it. She squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't think I am."

Cryo turned to someone behind him. "We'll meet you back at the temple shortly. There is something of the utmost importance that we must do before we return." And then, to her, in a softer, soothing tone, he said, "Climb on, Banshee."

"I still can't shadow shift properly," she muttered. "I'll be too heavy."

"I've carried you before without your shift, remember," said Cryo. He turned his back to her, crouched over slightly. "Climb on."

Banshee didn't have it in her to argue any more tonight. She climbed on, and somehow, even with his damaged wing and her weight, he got them off the ground.

He didn't take her far. They landed in a small, private clearing deeper in the forest, and some small part of Banshee was certain that Cryo had been here before. She stepped off Cryo's back, tried to remain standing, and ended up just sinking to the ground with her knees drawn up to her chest.

Cryo sat beside her. For how long, she didn't know, but the silence let her thoughts collect inside her head. She began to make sense of them. To figure out why anxiety was fighting its way up her throat.

"I feel like I failed," she said when she finally worked it out. "We saved Ella. We saved Melissa. But I failed both of them. I failed Andrew. I--" The words choked off as the image of his body rose up. "I wasn't enough to save him too."

"It's not unheard of for deaths to occur around Manifested, Banshee," said Cryo. "There are several a year, at least. Accidents happen, and it is not your fault."

"But I could have saved him," whispered Banshee, her elbows digging into her knees as her fists clutched the side of her head. "I could have done something. Anything."

"Like what?" said Cryo.

Banshee glanced up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well," said Cryo. "In hindsight, what could you have done differently?" When Banshee remained silent, her eyes falling back to the grass, Cryo cleared his throat. "I find the question helps me cope a lot. I cannot change the past, but I can learn from it. I can assess my own actions so that, if the situation presents itself again, my shortcomings will not be repeated."

"Like you did with Ella and Hydra," murmured Banshee, picking a piece of grass. "How you froze Hydra instead of destroying the heartstone. Ella's spirit tendrils, too. They were rather inspired moves if I do say so myself. Any enemy unlucky enough to face you twice is in for it."

"If that proves true, I will be content," said Cryo. "So, with your knowledge of the situation, what could you have done differently?"

Banshee let her thoughts roll out of her head. "I could have paid attention to my surroundings and noticed Melissa before she had the chance to shoot at Ella. I could have allowed the gun shots to hit Ella and stun her instead of myself but... I couldn't have known that they'd block my powers."

"Block your powers?" asked Cryo.

Banshee recapped, and Cryo nodded, a small, thoughtful frown resting on his features.

"I suppose it makes sense," he said. "The starstone weapons recharge on auroralight, just like our Ascended. It's likely that shots from a starstone gun would have a similar effect to the auroras and stun an Ascended, blocking their influence and your powers. It stands to reason that because the bond of transformation was in place, some of that stunned state leaked into your own body, accounting for your lethargy."

Cryo leaned forward once more. "But back to the previous question, is there anything else you could have done differently?

Banshee flicked the piece of grass she'd shredded into halves. "Been stronger. Shaken off the stun effect quicker. I could barely hold myself up after Melissa shot me. I could have taken Ella's fragment off her and then jumped in front of the shots. I could have--"

"Those aren't logical," said Cryo. "Been stronger is not a valid solution to the mistake, nor is 'shaking off the stun effect quicker'. Perhaps you could have taken Ella's fragment, but I doubt you'd have been able to talk to her like you did at the end if you had, and it's rather likely that Ella would have simply taken it back after you were reduced to a lethargic state. However, you could have pushed Ella herself out of the way of the shots."

Banshee frowned. "I tried shoving her first, but I was still shadow shifted so it didn't affect her much. I should have remembered to drop it before I shoved her, then we both would have been out of the way."

"Good," said Cryo. "That is then a point you can improve on in the future, in addition to paying closer attention to your surroundings."

Banshee shuddered, her fists tightening around the fragments until they threatened to cut her skin. "I don't like this, Cryo. It makes everything feel like it's okay, and it's not okay. It shouldn't be okay."

"No one ever said it was okay," said Cryo. "The Other's influence is rarely 'okay', but it is okay to forgive yourself. The point of mistakes is to learn from them. As long as you learn from your mistakes, there was a purpose and a victory, however small. It is only when you refuse to acknowledge your shortcomings and strive to fix them that you have truly failed."

"And how did you figure that one out?" asked Banshee, glancing up at him.

Cryo's gaze was far away, lost in some echo she couldn't see. "When we were first chosen as Luminaries, in our first Manifested encounters, I had several shortcomings. I did not believe myself worthy. I did not think I was qualified nor the best choice for such a responsibility. I questioned myself and it led to several hesitations. Many of our early encounters were only successes because of you. My doubt only grew until I came to fear the times I would be forced to transform by a Manifested.

"I looked to you, to see what I was doing wrong. How was it that I struggled so much while you adapted and took everything in your stride? I saw the way you handled each fight, the way you never let doubt or fear burrow into your confidence. You made mistakes but bounced back while I made mistakes and let them eat me alive. There was a particular incident, I believe three months in, where I made a particularly critical error and almost froze and killed several civilians. Harpy and Wyvern witnessed it and admonished me for it, but two seconds later, you bounced up to me with a ridiculous grin on your face and demanded that I lay it down for the countless time in a moment where I felt worthless.

Banshee's heart twinged. "Cryo, you were never worthless. Not to me."

He gave her a small smile. "I know, but at the time, I didn't realise that. I'd considered revealing myself and going Dark so you might have a competent partner until you held out your hand. I realised the crux of the issue that night after thinking it over, trying to work out why you'd bother with me when I'd screwed up so badly. You hadn't forgotten my mistakes--you teased me about them so often that there was no way you could have--but you'd forgiven them. And I hadn't even considered forgiving myself."

Cryo leaned forward, his chin resting on the backs of his hands, his eyes off in the trees.

"It was then that I decided that I would be better. That I might not have your strength or your courage, but I would be a partner you could be proud of. Perhaps not perfect, but I would be your partner, and I would not let you down." He closed his eyes. "And while we're speaking of failures, I feel like I failed you tonight."

"Is this about what Ella said?" asked Banshee, trying to read his face. The slightest frown ruined his otherwise impassive expression. "Why do you think you failed me?"

"Because you called for me with five taps twice before I came."

"It wasn't your fault, Cryo," said Banshee. "You were busy at the house. We went with the best course of action, knowing either of us could have ended up facing Ella alone."

Cryo opened his eyes, and in them, Banshee saw everything that he was struggling to keep off his face.

"Banshee," he said softly. "Tonight, after the second time you tapped five times for my help, do you have any idea what was running through my head?" He swallowed. "It wasn't just your powers that were blocked. I couldn't feel you. I couldn't feel the warmth that tells me you're transformed."

There was something haunted in his voice, a secret that he hadn't worked out how to share.

Cryo pressed his lips together against it, sealing it away before he continued. "I don't know what's worse. The fact that I stood there, entranced by a Shimmer when you needed me, or that I didn't notice I couldn't feel you until I had to find you and realised I couldn't."

"I'm gonna turn your own question back on you," said Banshee, nudging Cryo on the shoulder. "What, given the circumstances, could you have improved upon in hindsight?"

Cryo remained silent for a few moments, his hands covering the lower part of his face until he was ready to speak.

"I could have been more efficient at the evacuation, but aside from that, there is not much I could have done at the time without the knowledge I have now." He gave her a brief recap of what he'd been doing at the house. "Now, having experienced the Serpent's hallucinations first hand, I may be more prepared in the future."

"You said the Shimmer was talking, though?" asked Banshee. "Ella mentioned something like that too. She seemed to know more about it than she was letting on. What if the voice had something to it?"

"Ella also could have been goading us," said Cryo with a shrug. "She was possessed by the Other, but I believe it may be worth our time to ask her when she has had time to recover. Which brings the question of what we're to do with her fragment. It clearly isn't safe at the Starlight Hall."

Banshee opened her palm, allowing the corrupted fragment to suck in the starlight that touched it.

"We keep it," said Banshee. "Just like our civilian identities, we hide it."

"Golem warned us against ever remaining in contact with a corrupted fragment," said Cryo. "And it's possible the Other's minions have a way to track it."

"I don't mean keeping it on our persons or in our homes," said Banshee. "But somewhere hidden that we can watch over it. That no one but us knows." She glanced at it, flipping it over in her fingers. "Though I don't think Ella is able to sense it. I think it's like us and our Ascended. We bond to transform, but apart, my Ascended could hide in the shadows from me all day and I'd never be able to find her."

"There are indeed a lot of parallels between ourselves and Ella's Manifested form," said Cryo. "But I would ask that we not take that risk."

Banshee nodded in agreement. She still didn't feel right, but no longer was she drowning in it all. Cryo had given her a firm grip on the surface, a way to keep her head above water. A way to deal with the experience.

"Cryo?" said Banshee.

"Yes?"

She swapped both fragments to one hand and held her empty palm out flat towards him.

"Lay it down."

*+*+*+*  

A/N - So yea I've been working on this chapter for idk, a week straight. For a chapter that I could see perfectly in my head and knew exactly how it was supposed to feel, I struggled with it. A lot. I still don't think it's good and for that I'm really sorry =<

There'll be one more chapter before the end of this part of the story purely because this chapter got so long. Apologies if next weeks is late again too ._. 

Would be much appreciated if you guys could still show this not-so-great chapter some love still, I am running low on the motivational cookies and need positive thoughts to bake some more D=