Amberthroat's POV

The wind howled and my fur swayed in the breeze. Chills waved down my spine as the cool wind touched my warm pelt. The sky was no where to be seen, covered by dark, roaming clouds. I swallowed nervously as I fought to take a hasty step in front of me. I wasn't sure what was forward, backward, nor sideways; everything seemed to be the same.

"Die, die, die..." They whispered. "Die, die, die."

A fluttering sensation developed in my stomach and my heart began to race. A pair of glowing dots appeared in front of me. Without thinking, I moved toward it, but it didn't seem to get any closer. I swallowed again, my paws trembling. Another pair lightened, and then another. Soon I was being watched by many unknown pairs of eyes.

The eyes seemed to be chanting, "Die, die, die..." They got louder and louder. A sudden scratch on my flank made me spin around. Blood beaded up and threatened to spill from the wound. I didn't have time to focus on it anymore than a heartbeat because another scratch made me jump around. The scratches soon became gashes, and I soon was crying out in pain and confusion.

I tried to call out for someone to help me but my throat was so dry and swelled, I couldn't do anything more than yelp.

My throat seemed to close off and my breath came out in short rasps. The world around me spun, but I was standing still. Just as I began to feel like I was about to collapse, a tall, white figure stood in front of me. I gazed up slowly and swallowed nothing but tongue.

"Hello there," Whitefeather purred evilly, his eyes nothing but empty dark hollow sockets.
***
I jolted awake, panting and heart speeding. At my stomach were three tiny bundles of fur. All three were nameless. I didn't even want them, but since everyone already knew about their birth, I would be judged endlessly if I killed them or let them wander off.

My ear twitched and my eyes felt heavy. For roughly two moons I hadn't gotten a decent amount of sleep, and with a litter of newborns I knew I wouldn't be getting anymore sleep than I already did. I was exhausted with living. I felt as if I mattered to no one. Sighing, I carefully rose from the nest in the nursery and sat beside it.

The fluffy golden she-kit rolled over, her paw hitting her only brother - a white tom with a grey muzzle and front legs - on the head. The red-brown she-kit lay curled up in a ball, her back lightly touching her brothers.

I stared at the three kits wide-eyed. It was so shocking, so odd, so not me to have these kits at my paws. They were mine, and it didn't seem right. Morningkit will be the golden one, Cherrykit will be the red-brown one, and the white one... I narrowed my eyes at the tom. Bonekit.

Kill him! He's going to grow up to be just like Whitefeather! Kill him before it's too late!

I shook my head. Not now. Do it... Do it... I swallowed, then realized how thirsty I really was. Blinking, I stood up carefully and left the three kits in the nest. The moon was still up high, illuminating the lake that was so close to our camp. I could hear the infected roaming around, moaning and groaning. It was heart wrenching.

No one even cared that Rowantail was still missing, but why would they? They didn't even care that she was going insane in the first place... Anger boiled deep in my stomach, but I knew my anger was just around to mask my sadness, regret, and confusion.

I padded out of the camp and towards the still lake. There were no wind, no clouds, nothing but the moon and it's twin on the surface of the dark waters. Lowering my head, I lapped at the cool water until I was satisfied.

A sigh escaped my lips and then I padded into camp again.

When I ducked into the nursery I almost jumped out of my pelt at the sight of Dawnflower's scrawny self standing over my kits. She turned around once she realized I was there. "Where did you go? You can't leave your kits unattended, Amberthroat," My mother advised, her eyes narrowed.

I nodded, pretending to listen. They don't matter to me. I don't want them. I wanted to say, but I knew it was immature to say so I kept my mouth firmly shut.

"You didn't tell me - or anyone for that matter - what their names were, by the way." Dawnflower meowed, sitting down by the nest. I sat beside her and gazed down at the three tiny bundles as they slept peacefully. I could feel Dawnflower's eyes piercing into the side of my head as I studied my kits. "I decided Cherrykit, Morningkit, and Bonekit," I replied after a few heartbeats of silence. My mother's eyes lit up and bowed her head in approval. "Beautiful choices..." She murmured. For some reason, I could tell she had something on her mind that she wanted to ask.

I looked over at her slowly, then without even having to ask what she wanted to say, she spoke. "Who's the father?" Dawnflower whispered. Dawnflower tried to look me in the eye, but I kept refusing. A pang in my heart formed and my stomach twisted and churned. I kept silent. Even if I wanted to say it, I wasn't sure I would be able to let it roll of my tongue.

I just want to forget... but with these kits I am constantly reminded of him. Especially... especially Bonekit... I shivered. Maybe it's for the best? Maybe I should just get rid of him?

"Amberthroat." Dawnflower demanded, her voice deep and serious. I blinked away my thoughts.

I began to grow angry and I didn't know why. "Who do you think, Dawnflower? Who else would it have been?" I kept my gaze down at the kits. Bonekit squirmed and kicked his sister, Morningkit. She moaned but didn't wake. My ear twitched.

Dawnflower rested her tail on my shoulders and then touched my ear with her nose. "I'm here for you. I will help you with these kits and they will be the best warriors ever," She promised with a worried smile. I didn't reply, only let her leave the nursery.

***

A/N:

Sorry for slow updates guys, life has been a struggle lately. I hope all is well, have a good Christmas break!

P_A83 out