It's Christmas Day here in NZ so here's an early update! :)

4.

Confidence lines the strides of Malik's walk. It radiates off him in waves, and I can't help but compare it to Elias. Elias' confidence was quiet, unspoken, but Malik's demands to be acknowledged. He falls into step beside me as I show him through the castle. My mind races with questions, but I keep my mouth jammed shut.

What do you know about me? What was Elias like as a child? What was the last thing you heard from him? How well did you know him?

Elias is just as physically far away from us as he was before, but with Malik in the castle, his presence feels stronger somehow.

I clear my throat as we reach the library, nodding towards the doorway. "This is it."

I study his face as he scans the room. He's all planes and angles, his jawline as sharp as his cheekbones. Everything about him is striking—from his eyes, to his hair, to his skin. He's made of contrasts. And when he shifts his gaze to me, it's difficult to maintain eye contact.

"Thank you, Milena."

I force a smile as he steps into the library. "No problem."

"I take it you spend a lot of time in here," he says. "Your scent is all over the room."

I shrug. I still haven't gotten used to their heightened senses. "I like it in here."

"Elias loved to read, too, even as a kid." His eyes scan my face, as if searching for something. "Perhaps it was something the two of you had in common."

"Not really. Nobody ever taught me how to read."

He looks surprised but doesn't comment, choosing to survey the bookshelf instead. I take a step back, torn between leaving him alone and pestering him with questions. But there's something about him that sets me on edge. Not exactly in a bad way, but not in a good way, either. Just... nervous.

I clear my throat. "I'll leave you to it, then."

"You're welcome to stay," he says. "I could use some help navigating these shelves."

"I should help Eric. Besides, an illiterate probably won't be much help with books."

Malik returns my smile, and it warms his entire face, takes the edge off a bit. "It was nice to finally meet you, Milena. I'm sure there are lots we can learn from one another."

"Nice to meet you, too."

~

Eric is still in the infirmary wing of the castle, standing silently next to Aliyah who lies in a white cot. She wears the same clothes as earlier, but her arm is bandaged close to her chest, the white material spotted red.

"Milena," she says when I slide through the doorway.

"Hey, I'm glad to see you're okay."

Eric turns, red eyes inspecting me from head to toe, as if looking for wounds. "Where's Malik?"

"I left him in the library."

His jaw clenches, but he looks back at Aliyah. "Is everyone okay?" I ask.

"A few broken arms and legs, but they'll heal soon enough," Aliyah sighs. "Thankfully, Eric and I took the worst of it."

Eric got stabbed in the back, but he's changed clothing so the blood is no longer visible. Still, he stands with one shoulder hunched slightly forward. "Maybe you should have a rest," I suggest.

"I'm fine," he grumbles.

"Eric—"

"It was just a scratch. I'm fine."

I roll my eyes but wait in the doorway as they finish their conversation. Eric and I are the same height, so I can easily see over his shoulder to the other room where the children are being tended to. Before they took Elias, there was a cabin used strictly as an infirmary, but ever since lockdowns have become more frequent, it was necessary to create a space in the castle to tend to wounds if need be. The result was one of the unused living areas on the second floor, sectioned into different rooms with a makeshift glass screen.

When Eric's finished talking with Aliyah, he turns, eyes glinting with displeasure when he notices me wavering in the doorway. "You're still here?"

"Have you thought more about Malik's offer?" I ask, following him down the hall. "It's a good one, you know. We have nothing else to go off."

"It's risky."

"Like you've never done anything risky before."

We turn the corner, and his grunt echoes through the stone walls. Even though it's spring, it's still painfully cold inside the castle, the ice traveling through the hard ground.

Eric starts up the staircase to his bedroom. "Malik is deluded if he thinks the shadow still exists."

"Does it matter? Let him believe what he wants. If it means we get Elias back, who cares if it isn't real?"

He pauses to look at me over his shoulder. "You're not ready."

The tall walls of the castle echo his insult. I try not to flinch, shoving away the insecurities deep inside of me that agree with him. Compared to when I first met him, my skin has thickened. But just because he doesn't hate me like he once did, it doesn't mean he cares about not hurting my feelings.

"You haven't been here for months, Eric," I say, putting a hand on his good shoulder to halt him. "I'm faster now, stronger. And even if I wasn't, this isn't your decision to make. I'm going with Malik, with or without you." His jaw clenches, but he just stares, expression stoic. I let my hand fall away and nod. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

He lets me go without a word. Rounding the corner, I descend the staircase to my bedroom. It's the same guest room I stayed in the first time they brought here me, and even though Eric offered one of the more extravagant ones upstairs, I declined.

Standing in the doorway, my eyes brush across the window to the bathroom before landing on the bed, nostalgia stirring around me. Elias pressed me against that window in frustration the first day I woke up, his eyes blazing a fury that made me shake. He brushed my hair from my eyes by the bathroom door. He woke me from my nightmares in those sheets.

Even though he's been missing for three months, Elias' presence is heavy in the castle, carried through our memories. And this room holds too many to let it go.

~

Sleep evades me. I roll over in my sheets, tossing around thoughts of Elias, Malik and the shadow. After hours of restlessness, I can't lie still anymore. There's no way I can wait till the next morning to find answers.

I'm relieved to find Malik still in the library when I get there, bent over a pile of books by the unlit fireplace. He doesn't notice me at first, standing in the doorway, but I watch him, note the way he's slung over Elias' chair, and fight the urge to tell him to get off. After a few moments, I clear my throat and his eyes dart to me.

"Milena?" He closes his book and straightens his back. "Is everything okay?"

"Couldn't sleep." I move further into the room to sit on the sofa opposite him, wrapping my sweater tighter around me. The window is open, welcoming the bitter wind. "Have you found anything useful?"

"Nothing I didn't already know. Eric was right—the only books here that even talk about the shadow are either fairytales or books about the war."

I lean back into the couch and tug my knees to my chest. "Well, what'd you expect?"

He smiles. "You don't believe me either, do you?"

"I don't know what to believe," I admit. "But I have to say, basing a theory on a fairytale doesn't sound that believable to me."

His glacier eyes meet mine. "A year ago, you would've said the same thing if I'd tried to tell you about the existence of wispers, or even hollowers."

He has a point. I lived in complete ignorance, in a world where there were only two species—humans, and blood-thirsty creatures who roamed the night in search of their next kill. If someone had tried to tell me I was living with the real monsters, I would've laughed at them. Everything sounds unbelievable until you see it for yourself.

I lean over to see the book on his lap. It's a picture book, the only sort I can actually understand. Below the title is a drawing of three children hiding under a wooden table, and behind them, a dark figure, concealed by the shadows cast over it by the trees.

"The adventures of Flyn and the shadow," Malik reads. "A common story for shifters to read to their kids."

"What's it about?"

"A kid named Flyn who goes exploring the forest and runs into a man with the shadow. He wants him to obey his parents or he'll come for him." His expression is distant, nostalgic. "It certainly scared me into being more obedient. I was terrified the one with the shadow would find me."

"Someone really goes around with the shadow trying to kill children?"

"It's just a fairytale," he shrugs. "Probably made up by some desperate parent."

"And the actual shadow, the one that was destroyed—it was a weapon?"

"Yes," he confirms.

"Where did it come from?"

"A wisper created it. Only a wisper can."

"How? And why? Why would a wisper create something that could destroy them?"

"It wasn't intentional," he says. "And as for how, we only have the legends to go by, and they get muddled and twisted over the years."

I shelf the information and add it to my list of questions. "You said you've seen it before. How do you know it was real and not just a random weapon?"

"My mum was an elder, just like Ana," he explains. "She was looking for it for years before she died, they all were."

"Did they ever find it?"

"Ana did." His eyes meet mine, darkening slightly. "She knew where it was from the moment it was created."

"Why keep it a secret then?"

"The last time a shadow existed was over 50 years ago, but it was destroyed. There was no need to ever alert people that it was anything more than a story. It would only cause havoc and Ana wanted to prevent it from being destroyed again," he explains. "So she hid it. With the recent advancement with immortality, finding it has become of utmost importance. It's incredibly powerful, and in the wrong hands, it could be fatal for us all."

"You said it's with the hollowers, where Elias is. I don't know who could be any wronger than the hollowers."

He smiles. "They don't know how to activate it, nor are they aware of its existence, so we're safe for now."

"Anyway, it doesn't matter to me," I say. "As long as we find Elias, I'm happy."

"If only Eric were as enthusiastic as you are."

I wave a hand in the air. "He'll come around." He has to.

He holds my eyes a few seconds more, and it feels near impossible to tear my gaze away. That feeling fills my stomach again—the unsettledness, that this is all too good to be true, but I shake it off.

"I should get going," I say, pushing to my feet. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Good night, Milena."

I smile and slip into the hall, mind reeling. Because even though Eric and Cassia don't believe it, Malik's confidence in the shadow makes me want to believe, too.

~

DISCUSSION:

1. Do you think Eric will change his mind and let Milena go?

2. Do you think it's unfair that Eric won't let Milena go?

3. Do you think they'll find the shadow when they find Elias? Or do you think Eric's right, and it's a myth?