39. 

Malik doesn't stop Elias as he walks closer, nobody does. Malik's wolves watch, lurking at the edge of the trees, just out of reach of the dying flames. Cassia has dragged herself to rest against a burnt stump, clutching her bleeding shoulder. I can't bring myself to look at her. It would mean looking away from Elias. The air feels stagnant as he moves through it, the forest fire behind him dying down and framing him in an iridescent glow.

Our eyes meet. A thrill races through me. This is Elias—I trust him with my life. And yet, something about his gaze makes me step backwards.

"Milena." My name is no more than a whisper rolling off his lips, but it sounds like a song, calling to my body in more ways than one.

He reaches me, staring down with those burning amber eyes. When his fingers brush against mine I jolt backwards. "Don't get too close," I warn.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"That's not what I'm scared of."

Still, he reaches for my wrist, wrapping his hand around it, eyes never leaving mine. The skin tingles at his touch, but I don't dare look down as his other hand trails the inside of my arm, all the way to the top of my shoulder.

"What're you doing, Elias?" Cassia orders, voice pained. "Seriously, stop this!"

"Take Cassia to the infirmary," Elias orders, eyes still on me. Nobody moves. "Now."

Over his shoulder, Malik nods, and two of the guards approach Cassia. She lashes out when they reach for her, another two coming to aid. I flinch as she shouts at them when they drag her away, back towards the castle, staring at Elias.

"What're you doing?" I hiss.

"She needs help," he says.

I look at Malik over his shoulder. "And you trust him to help her?"

"Yes."

"We can't trust him. After everything, why would he want to help us?" He doesn't answer me, casts his gaze to the ground. "Elias?"

He pulls on my wrist, tugging me into the shelter of the trees. I stare at Malik over his shoulder when Elias comes to a stop, turning to face me. Malik adjusts his position so he can just see us through a gap in the foliage, but he doesn't interfere. It sends a thrill of fear down my spine. I don't understand what's going on.

"Why have they stopped fighting?" I whisper. "What'd Malik say to you?"

His gaze is a warm caress as it brushes across my face. "Do you trust me?"

I trust Elias with my life, but something makes me hesitate. I search his face. His eyes burn in the forest. It feels like there's an orange glow around us, highlighting the planes of his cheeks. There was once a time when he showed me nothing; I even wondered if Elias was even capable of feeling emotion. But now, he's an open book, and what I see makes my stomach churn.

"Don't—don't look at me like that."

His hand brushes the hair back from my face. "And how am I looking at you?"

"Like you're about to make a really stupid decision."

He laughs lowly, but it's hollow, empty. "I really do love you, you know."

My eyes blur as I stare at him, a weight constricting my lungs. His touch on my wrist feels like electricity, but it's his words that set my body ablaze. They don't sound romantic; they sound the same as when he said them in the prisons, when he thought we were going to die.

"You can't do this." I grab the hand on my cheek, gripping it tight in my own.

"I have to."

"No, you don't."

"Malik's right. You're the shadow, Milena. You'll never live in peace if the immortal hollowers are a threat."

"If you're doing this for me, don't. I can handle whatever comes next."

"Milena—"

"No, listen to me," I plead. "For once can't you just put yourself first? Can't you stop making decisions for everyone else? Just-just... please." I put my hand to his cheek. His skin is hot, feverish almost. "I can't lose anyone else."

He draws in a breath, but it seems laboured, his skin paling. "I'm doing this for all of us, myself included."

"No. No." I try to shove him away but his grip on my wrist is unrelenting. His gaze follows me but it's unfocused, cloudy. "Don't do this. You promised you'd never hurt me again."

It's a low blow. But it's the only thing I can think of. But Elias doesn't recoil in shame. The side of his mouth tilts up. "I won't."

"But—"

"Look at your hand, Milena."

I follow his gaze. Our hands are on fire, my hand is on fire. He's burning me. He has been burning me this whole time, only, I don't feel any pain.

I dart my eyes back to his. "How is—Elias!"

His eyes are entirely unfocused, grip loosening as he leans on the tree behind him for support. I try to break his grip, but he only raises his other hand to press against my chest, holding me close. Flames burst from his fingertips, singeing my clothes, but my skin remains unscathed as Elias falls to the ground, dropping me.

"Elias!" I fall with him, grabbing his wrist as he starts to writhe on the ground, body convulsing. The fire dies down around us as I grasp his body, everything screaming inside of me. My clothes are charred, falling off me in broken bits but I don't care. Elias thrashes around, skin burning to touch. He hits me backward accidentally, sending me across the forest. I scramble back over to him, trying to grab hold of his hand, his arm—anything. But he writhes faster than I can move, limbs flying in all directions.

Until he stops moving at all.

"E-Elias?" I drag myself towards him. My hands shake uncontrollably as I push his hair back from his face, a mixture of grime and sweat coming away. "You're okay. It's okay."

Everything falls still, a gentle breeze stirs the air around us. I can't hear his breath. I lean closer, putting my hand to his chest. It rises. I count five seconds. It falls. I count ten seconds. It rises. I count five seconds. I count ten. Fifteen. Twenty. Nothing. At thirty I start chest compressions. Eric's voice echoes in my mind.

Push harder. Don't be afraid to break the ribs.

I count to thirty. Pause to give mouth to mouth. Chest compressions. Nothing happens. I can't be pushing hard enough, I'm doing it wrong, something is wrong. Harder.

A hand brushes my shoulder. "Milena..."

"One, two, three, four—"

"Hey—"

"Six, seven, eight, nine—"

"Milena, stop."

"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen."

"Milena!" This time Malik tugs on my shoulder so I'm forced back, Elias out of reach. I turn to face him, breath ragged. I can see myself reflected in his pupils, face stained with tears, hair wild, shirt burnt down the middle.

His eyes soften and he kneels to my level, puts a hand on my shoulder. "You're only making this harder."

My vision ishazy, blurred red. He says something else but I can only see his lips moving, there's no sound, only the roaring in my ears. He did this. He knew this would happen. He convinced Elias. But there's one thing he doesn't know—Elias keeps a dagger in his boot.

I catch Malik off guard, slashing him across the arm, sending him leaping back in surprise. But I don't give him time to move, shoving to my feet and slashing the dagger in the air in his direction. He dodges it.

"Just, wait—"

He swings an arm at me but I'm too fast, ducking and rolling to the side before attacking again. He's faster than me, stronger, and ten times more powerful—but I don't care. Adrenaline pulses through my veins as I swing the knife at him again. He ducks and it lodges into the tree. Malik takes the chance to grab one of my wrists, twisting it at an angle that will break the bone if I struggle. He presses me stomach first into the tree my dagger is lodged in. My face presses into the bark.

"Calm down." I can feel his breath on the back of my neck, his voice like honey. "Just breathe, Milena. It's okay."

His voice zones into the background. The bark of the trunk is rough against my cheek, and the dagger above brushes the top of my head. My neck is twisted, forcing me to stare sideways, Elias' body in my peripheral vision. He's still, clothes burnt almost to a crisp.

Malik's still murmuring soothing words I can't seem to make out. He has me in a tight grip; if I move, I could do serious damage to my arm. But the other is unrestrained. I take a deep breath and throw my free arm up, yanking the dagger from the tree and swinging around. My arm pops, a sharp pain bursting from my shoulder, but the pain dulls as I meet Malik's eyes. He opens his mouth, raises his hands to restrain me, but he's too late. I bury my dagger in his stomach. He sucks in a breath of air, intense eyes on me. We stumble back till he's pressed against the trunk.

Warm blood spills over onto my hands, staining them scarlet. Still, I don't release the dagger. The stab won't kill him, but tilted an inch upwards and it'll puncture his heart.

"S-stop," he gasps.

"You've ruined everything," I hiss, gritting my teeth. "You underestimate me. You think I'm too weak. But I will kill you."

"Milena—"

"Shut up!"

"P-please I—"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put this dagger right into your heart."

"I—" he gasps for breath, blood in his mouth. "He's not—not dead."

"Stop lying to me!"

"I'm n-not. His heart—" he coughs, blood splattering across my face. "It beats."

My hands quiver, eyes blurry. My mind is a frenzy, red with rage and grief, his words clearing the haze. But I've been made a fool too many times to trust him now.

"P-please I'm telling the truth."

"The shadow kills wispers. You told me that yourself. You said only I can kill a wisper."

"It was true, but-but Elias isn't only wisper." He grimaces, squeezing his eyes shut for a few moments. It would be so easy to tilt the dagger, watch him bleed out. "He's a shifter too."

"Cynthia wasn't only wisper either, or Valerie. They're both dead."

"I killed Cynthia." He shakes his head. "You took their immortality away, you didn't kill them." His eyes search mine. "He isn't dead."

"I should kill you. All you've done is lie to me."

"Why do you think he agreed to try this Milena?"

My mind races, my grip on the hilt faltering. His words, his sudden change of mind. It lines up with what Malik is telling me, but that seed of doubt has grown so large one truth cannot possibly whack it down.

Finally, Malik's guards surround us. A couple of them stalk towards us, towards me, but Malik raises a hand to halt them. I watch from the corner of my eye as a man goes over to Elias.

"Don't touch him!" I shout.

"He's trying to help—"

"I said don't touch him!"

Malik chokes trying to get his words out. "Milena, he's still alive, but barely. He needs help."

"No, no I don't believe you. H-he would've told me."

"We didn't know it would work. I-I told him it was a possibility. He didn't want to give anyone false hope." He puts a hand over mine, his grip weak. I resist against his grip when he tries to guide the dagger out. "Milena, please."

"E-even if what you're saying is true, even if he is alive, you've done so much, hurt so many, I should—I should kill you." Tears stream down my cheeks as I say it. Malik stares at me, those icy blue eyes warmer than I ever thought possible. There's something inside of them that seems so lonely, like he understands the way my heart aches.

"I'm sorry," he says eventually. "I'm sorry for the people I've hurt."

"It's not fair that you live when so many good people died when you-you-you lied to us all and trapped our people and helped the hollowers and—and—"

"I know." He releases my hand around the dagger, puts it on my shoulder instead. "I-I did what I had to."

"That's not good enough!"

"Then kill me." He holds my gaze. "Kill me, Milena."

My body burns with emotions I can't pull apart, twisting a thick coil inside of my stomach. Staring at him, feeling this way, with my dagger in his chest—I almost do. But there's a gasp from behind me. I twist my head, looking over to Elias, but he's blocked from my view by three bodies.

I open my mouth to say something but something hard bumps the back of my head and everything falls black.

~

(next weeks update may be a bit late!)

DISCUSSION: 

1. Is Malik telling the truth? What do you think?

2. Do you think Milena should kill him? I'm torn personally. I'd love to see him punished, but at the same time, I feel like killing him would hurt Milena more in the long run than it would Malik. Our girl may have grown but idk if she's that ruthless lol

3. What do you think might happen next?

We are almost at the end of the story! I cannot wait to pull it down and edit. There are so many things I need to fix/change to make it even better :D