"You killed them," Ellior says, shattering the heavy silence.

"Yes. Do you think Mother will forgive me for that?" I ask him bitterly.

"She already did, Arkan. You were protecting a living creature, meaning me, from evil. They didn't mean to invite me to tea, did they?"

"No, but I've never killed before. Never and... I'm not likely to do it again."

"Take what is happening now as the illusion you were in with Seraphus. They're all dead now, Arkan. In our world, they have long been deceased, and by doing so, you have merely hastened their demise and potentially rescued someone who now lives in our world."

"Thank you, Ellior. That makes me feel better." I smile at him and he answers me with a weak smile.

"Now you're going to feel even better. I've killed four," he admits. I glare at him, gripping his back tighter so I don't hurt his wound. "It was a trap. Some of the dark ones had gone into the city, some were in the woods with their leader. They were waiting for us. I killed four soldiers and ran on, but they caught me. So today we both killed to protect our lives."

"I'm sorry I didn't run after you right away."

"It's all right, Arkan. I'm a grown elf, and I realized we were surrounded by danger. It could have happened, but you came for me. You're the reason I'm still alive. You didn't let them drain me."

"I missed Seraphus' brother, after all I could have..."

"You don't have to." Ellior places his palm on my chest, making my heart pound many times faster. "You did everything you could to protect us both in that minute. You did enough."

But I know Ellior is just comforting me. Everyone would be better off if I somehow restricted Seraphus' brother's movements while we're here. I can't say for sure now if I could have killed him or not, but at least leaving him unconscious for long enough, I could have. But I didn't and they will come for us. It will be the end for both of us.

"Arkan, I can't go any further," Ellior sobs. I can feel his body getting heavier. He can barely stand.

"Okay, so we'll make a halt. You need to rest and get some water. We'll find a place now."

To be honest, I'm pretty tired too. My legs and lower back hurt like crazy. We've been walking for a very long time and it's getting cold again. It seems like we've been walking all day and they haven't come for us yet.

"Wait. I feel something," I whisper, listening to the sensations.

"What?"

"A living energy. It's very low, but it's there. It's somewhere... oh mother, look at that, it's a snake," I whisper happily, looking at the coiled snake under a dry bush. It raises its head and hisses at us.

"Awesome, that's the last thing we need is snakes," Ellior mutters. I set him down on the ground and lean him against a tree, then turn to the snake.

"Don't worry, we won't hurt you. We'll take a brief break and move on."

"Arkan, be careful. If it bites you, it will poison you. We have nothing that can destroy its poison. There are no herbs or ointments, nor do I have the strength to help you," Ellior says worriedly.

"Don't worry. She won't hurt us. She's protecting her eggs. She's a mom. It's a female, Ellior." I smile even wider.

"Then we definitely need to stay away from her. Females are very aggressive at this time, and extremely rare. Come on, help me up and let's walk further so we don't have to be in proximity to the snake."

"No, we'll stay here." I shake my head and sit down on the ground next to Ellior.

"Arkan..."

"She won't attack us unless we attack her. And even more so, she'll be quicker to hear the soldiers approaching, as she and her eggs might get trampled. But as long as she's here and sleeping peacefully, we're safe. We can tell from her reaction what's going on."

"Okay, that's reasonable. You're probably right. But stay away from her, okay? I don't want you to get bitten by a snake."

"Okay, Mommy." I roll my eyes and kneel. Taking the flask from my belt, I lift the edge of Ellior's torn shirt and uniform to check the wounds.

"Shit."

"It's that bad?"

"They're bleeding. Apparently, the edges of the wounds have separated a little, but the blood isn't spurting. You need sleep to recover, Ellior. Drink some water and then rest. I'll keep watch."

I bring the flask to his lips, and he takes a few sips.

"That's it, get some rest." I smile softly at him and sit down next to him. I'm terribly thirsty and hungry, as is Ellior, of course. I cast a glance at the snake, and she moves and covers her eggs better, then puts her head down and looks at me. More specifically, at the flask I'm holding in my hand. She is also hungry and dying of thirst.

"What are you doing? Arkan, I told you to stay away from the snake," Ellior barely audibly rages.

"This is my sip of water, and I'll share it. She won't hurt me. She's too exhausted. There's nothing for her to eat, not even water, and she has to protect her children. Any loving parent would sacrifice themselves to save their children, which she does. But if the snake dies, there's no one to protect her children." I wave him away and move closer to the snake. I pour some water into the lid of the flask and set it on the ground, then step back.

"Don't be afraid, drink up. It's all we have," I say and take a small sip myself.

"You're so...so..."

"Like whom?" I snarl. "Weak? Gullible? Too value every single alive one? Yes, I am like that, and don't be jealous."

"What I meant to say is that you're very thoughtful and caring. That's kind of nice."

"Why are you still up? Sleep," I turn away from Ellior, looking ahead. When the snake drinks all the water and returns to its place, I close the flask and place it next to me.

Oh, Mother, what have I done?

The screams of that poor boy are echoing in my head. I can't forgive myself for running away and abandoning him. It was an abominable act on my part. Disgusting.

I wipe away a tear and take a deep breath.

"Why are you crying? Because of those dark ones? Arkan, they would have killed you," Ellior whispers. I turn back and shake my head negatively, moving closer to him.

"I acted like a coward," I admit. "When you ran away, they caught some guy, the light one, but not an elf. He was a teenager, so skinny and young. They tried to lure me out, thinking it was you. They raped him and stabbed him with knives and swords. He screamed so loudly, Ellior, my heart broke for him. His screams still echo in my head and I'm so... ashamed. I chickened out and ran away. I didn't help him. I left him there to die. Didn't protect him, didn't even try to."

"You did the right thing," Ellior says suddenly. "Absolutely the right thing. Look," his cool fingers touch mine and I squeeze them, "it was a trap. Dark and Light used many different traps during the war, including one with living creatures. This boy came with them before. There were traitors like this during the war, too. They worked for them, were their whores, and then they were killed. Trust me, they'll give him some strength and he'll recover his wounds. They did it on purpose to lure you out and catch you. Such traitors were dried up immediately, dependent on their owners. They were slaves and knew what they were getting into. First, they forced them to do it, and then they even paid with force, food, water, and good treatment. And to avoid fighting, they would run away and work for their enemies."

"So you think he was one of those?" I'm horrified.

"Of course he was. Arkan, how would he have appeared there? When we came to the village, there was nothing alive there, or we would have sensed it. He came with them."

"Shit," I shake my head, not believing that's even possible.

"War is ugly, Arkan. It reveals weaknesses and brings out the ugliest qualities in any being. And it's terrible when loved ones turn out to be like that. Many have lost families as they have been divided. Many left their homes, disagreeing with the popular opinion. Many were killed by their brothers and fathers. There is no compassion or regret in war. It's a war. Either you are killed or you are killed."

"How can one kill one's own child or brother?" I whisper bitterly.

"I killed my brother."

I lifted my head sharply, glaring at Ellior incredulously.

"I told you last night would be the last night I'd ever be okay. Since yesterday, everyone has hated me. It was yesterday that we heard the dark took my daddy."

"But... what does that have to do with your brother? Why did you kill him?"

"Because he was a traitor. The one who opened a portal for the dark ones. They were talking about him yesterday, about Vaon."

"Why did he do that to you, Ellior?"

"When they were born. The twins, Veon and Ainon, I was so happy. They were the youngest. Besides them, I already had three brothers. We were all friends. I was the oldest and spent a lot of time with them. But Veon and Eynon... they were special to me. I don't know why it happened, but I loved them with all my heart. I couldn't get enough of them. I babysat them, taught them how to fight, taught them a lot of things. They grew up and there was a time when the dark ones started attacking our villages and we attacked them back. Vaon was the most outraged of all. He urged me that we must go to war or they would do it. I tried to explain to him that he was too young to understand what war meant, how much grief and pain it would bring, how many casualties. I was against war. Vaon resented me for not supporting him. And then he spoke at the council. He explained how important it was to start the war ourselves. He even drew up a plan of invasion. And then my father said, 'If you have the support of your brothers, then so be it. This is your war, your future. You must decide whether to vote for or against going to war. We'll help, but you'll be in charge of the war.' Of course, I voted against it, as the rest of my brothers did, looking at me. Ainon abstained from voting, remaining neutral. I understood how difficult it was for him to be torn between his favorite twin and me."

Ellior licks his lips, sighing heavily, and I listen to him carefully, guessing how hard it's for him to talk about this right now.

"The war has begun. The Dark Ones took over our village and started the war themselves. It was just the beginning. I remember I was in my room, pondering how I could help my family and the soldiers. I was looking at a map when Vaon came to me for dinner. He convinced me that we needed to forget our disagreements and now fight side by side in defense of our land. He offered to have dinner with him, to talk to him. And, of course, I was happy about it. He left my bedroom, saying he'd forgotten to bring the wine. Instead of him, Ainon flew into my room. He was agitated, saying that something was wrong with Veon, that he was up to something bad. Ainon had a good sense of his brother. And while he was talking, I didn't even notice him taking food from my plate and throwing it in his mouth. He always ate something when he was nervous. And then everything happened fast. He died almost immediately before my eyes. I was screaming, calling for help. But he was already dead. It was poison, very strong poison. Dark poison. And it kills us instantly. When my fathers rushed into my room, as did my brothers, my servants, and Vaon himself, they saw me on the floor, cradling Ainon's body and sobbing with grief. Vaon blamed me for my brother's death. He convinced that I decided to poison Ainon to get revenge on Vaon because he was right and I was wrong. He yelled and screamed, pointed his finger at me, and I saw my brothers take a step back from me, and even in my father's eyes, there was doubt in his eyes that I had nothing to do with my brother's death. Of course, I tried to defend myself, to tell them how it was. But from that day on, I was treated with wariness. They didn't believe me. Vaon turned all the brothers against me. They stopped talking to me, my fathers rarely took any interest in me. I was alone. And one night, I asked my dad to come to me because I was so lonely. Madly lonely. I was suffering. He came. I begged him to believe me. And that's when the portal opened. The dark ones burst into my bedroom, and my dad protected me. He told me to run and call for help, and I did. But it was too late. He was taken."

A tear trickles down Ellior's cheek and he lifts his head to the dark sky.

"Oh mother, I was torn at that moment of despair and powerlessness. I didn't know what to do. Vaon accused me of colluding with the dark ones, even this time. He blamed me for what had happened. My father ordered me locked in one of the rooms and as I walked past Vaon, he whispered to me, 'You'll be next. I'll do anything, even become a whore of the dark ones, but you'll die and the kingdom will be mine.' I realized everything then. It was him. I couldn't control myself. I jumped on him and started choking him. I remember the power pouring out of my arms and it hurt. Or maybe it was the pain of frustration and my broken heart. Everyone was screaming at me to stop, but I couldn't. I saw Vaon's eyes fill with blood and he exploded like a balloon under my hands. I had killed my brother. Killed him with my own hands. And for that, my father sent me to the House of Knowledge so I would never hurt anyone else. From that moment on, I decided I would never be close to my brothers again. I would never love them. I would never even remember their names, so I wouldn't have to go through what I had."

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, squeezing his hand. "I'm madly sorry, Ellior. Do your brothers know the truth?"

"Some, because of the strong flow of power emanating from me, have forgotten, as well as the nerve-wracking shock of seeing a brother kill his brother before their eyes. Some remember the moment only vaguely without detail. Stellare doesn't know. He was born later."

"Yes, he told me about the twins. He thinks they died during the war."

"That's what we tell everyone so as not to defame our name and the memory of the brothers."

"And what? None of your brothers are still in touch with you? I mean, they loved you."

"None. They despise me because my true one is Seraphus. For being a traitor and falling in love with him. As if I chose it myself. They hate me. Stellare is one of them."

"That's not true." I quickly shake my head. "Stellare doesn't hate you, Ellior. Believe me, he loves you despite your behavior and he hates that he wants brotherly love from you in return. That's what he hates. He wants so badly to get close to you. To talk to you. He's just hiding it so he doesn't get hurt. I think Stellare's worth a chance, Ellior. Give him a chance. He's different. He's not Vaon, believe me. I've talked to him alone. I know how much pain he's in and how much he feels useless to everyone. Useless to you. I can't tell you why you're his role model, but you are. Stellare is a very caring and sensitive elf. He's vulnerable and quite intelligent. Especially since you share feelings for the dark ones."

"Vox," Ellior rolls his eyes and tsks. "I was hoping it was a complicated adolescence."

"No, Stellare loves Vox and Ailes. They protect each other, and he's determined to stand up to everyone and fight for his love. You two are alike in that. He won't back down from what's right for him, just like you didn't back down, even after Vaon tried to convince you to start a war. You stood your ground and Stellare is doing the same. I think you have a lot in common, Ellior."

"Now I realize what Seraphus saw in you, as well as the others. You're very sensitive and kind. But you're scary when you're angry. Thank you, Arkan, for not judging me. It's been a long time since anyone has simply listened to me, often criticizing and blaming me."

"Do I have that right?" I hum. "All the more reason it helped me understand why Seraphus loves you. He knows the truth, doesn't he?"

"He does."

"I see."

"I never told him I loved him."

"Why? It's so easy, Ellior. It's so easy to walk up to someone you care about and hug him, tell him he's special."

"Not for me. I'm afraid it will become another problem. I've already brought so much pain and grief to my family."

"But it's your life and your choice, Ellior. Let them continue to criticize you, but at least you won't be ashamed of yourself. You must tell Seraphus the truth about your feelings. He will feel better. He's suffering as much as you, and it's not fair to either of you. He still loves you. I know that for a fact. And this time you have to fight for each other."

"If we don't kill each other. You know we can't be around each other for long because of the conflict of powers, right?"

"Yes, I know, Seraphus told me. But I think you just haven't made the effort to understand why you were chosen for such a fate. Mother would never have chosen to make you the true ones if she didn't have the certainty that it was possible, Ellior. You both just need to understand Mother's plan."

"You're right. She always has a plan for us."

I give him a strained smile and nod. I have to accept the fact that I'll never know such happiness myself. I'll never be able to say without shame that I love him or that I like him. Why did Mother do this to me? Why did she punish me like this?

"Get some sleep," I whisper.

Ellior covers his eyes as I continue to hold his hand.