I was always so excited when my powers manifested. I showed my new powers to Lua, and he smiled. He was never jealous of me. Never looked at me sideways or judged me. He enjoyed when I grew berries in front of him and we lay under the tree and ate them and dreamed about another life. Even when I did bad things, like breaking my mother's arm because of me, Lua didn't judge me. He understood that I was angry because of what she said about Lua. She called him a small and insolent slut who needed to be punished all the time. All because Lua asked for an extra portion of spaghetti with meat for me. Of course, he didn't say who he was giving it to, but my mother was so mad at him because she didn't get an extra portion. She had to eat the servants' food like the rest of us. And she hated it. That's why she said that in front of all the servants in the kitchen. She insulted Lua and wished him bad things. She even mentioned that Lua could use some weight loss. He was already skin and bones. And I didn't like that one bit. Mother fell and broke her arm. Yes, the healer repaired the bones, but the fact that she was in pain pleased me. I avenged the humiliation of my friend. Someone I wouldn't have survived without.

"Where are you Lua? Where?" I wheel the pendulum over the map of our world to find at least Lua's approximate location, but the pendulum points to the Demon Kingdom again. But that's not true. Lua can't be there since the Demon Kingdom is in the other direction altogether, and he was heading towards the abandoned lands. I guess I just don't have the strength to find him. Although the protective dome stayed until morning. I don't understand. But I'm going to leave tonight. I'll ask for the healing block for a tincture for my ailments, let my friends know I'm a little sick and weak. That'll buy me twenty-four hours plus a night. I'll use Lua's stuff to find him. I just need to get out of here, since the House has strong protection spells against intrusion and peeping. I need to get out. And I plan to do that tonight. I'll get out of here.

As I walk to my door to head to class, I notice the call to the headmaster. It's burning in scarlet letters in front of my entire schedule.

I have no idea what the headmaster wants me to do. Oh, crap. I've assaulted my teacher, haven't I? Or Seraphus ratted me out and informed the headmaster that I wasn't Luappo. I was hoping for his honesty yesterday, but he's a demon. And the fact that I'm a lowlife did its job too. Seraphus doesn't like me anymore. Did he ever like me at all? Was he attracted to me so strongly just because of my fictitious bloodline? It pains me to think about it. So I block out my feelings again. That way, at least I can get out of here and find Lua without anyone getting in my way, especially my crush and my broken heart. How fleeting everything is.

"Dark Lord, you summoned me?" I walk into the headmaster's office and freeze. Our fire magic teacher is standing next to the headmaster's desk, and Mor is also here.

"Yes, Luappo. Morrick informed us you tricked everyone in fire magic class when you were all showing what you learned. You created an orb for Stellare. Is that true?"

I cast a glance at Mora, but he's looking the other way. How could he? He ratted me out.

"Yes, it's true," I reply.

"Luappo, why? I'm not a monster who will humiliate you if you fail at something," the teacher whispers bitterly, causing me to feel ashamed inside.

"It's not because of you. I'm sorry. I... wasn't thinking. I just wanted to help a friend not to fall foul of Ellior. He's Stellare's brother, so I helped him."

"But even Ellior himself can't control the fire element. He doesn't have it in him," the headmaster remarks.

To be honest, I'd forgotten that. I'd forgotten that he only has light magic, and that it imposes restrictions on dark magic. It slipped my mind because I was obsessed with the idea of rubbing Ellior's nose in it.

"I didn't know," I admit.

"Luappo, such things are forbidden here. You came here to reveal your powers, not to deceive. We punish deception," the headmaster informs me dryly. I nod sullenly. "Your punishment will be harsher. You will clean up after the dragon, your teacher's pet. You will clean his stall space every day for ten days. Is that clear?"

"Yes, dark lord."

"Good. Everyone may go, except Luappo. You stay here for a while."

I meet Mor's gaze, but he immediately averts it and heads out the door, followed by the teacher.

"Luappo, what's been going on with you these days? Your behavior is the worst. I didn't expect this from you," the vampire shakes his head disappointedly.

"Forgive me. I didn't think it would hurt anyone. And it didn't."

"That's true, but you fooled the whole class and your teacher. This is unacceptable, Luappo. The teachers are here for you, just as we have created all the conditions, relaxed the rules. You even have the opportunity to date your teachers, but not to fool them. You put your teacher in a very bad situation. It appears that he has failed to convey to you that his subject isn't the place to show superiority."

"It's not like that...it's not like that. All the teachers are very good, it's just my fault. I wanted to rub Ellior's nose in it. I'm sorry. I know it's bad and I'm ashamed. I'm really ashamed of what I've done. But I couldn't help myself. I couldn't control myself. He got mad at me, too, and he's taking revenge on me. But I'll stay away from him. I swear to you. Just don't punish Stellare. It was my choice, not his," I ask the headmaster, looking pleadingly into his eyes.

The vampire sighs heavily and rises from his chair. He walks slowly toward me, making me tighten inside. He props his fingernail on my chin and tugs it up so that I have nowhere to hide from his piercing gaze. I hold my breath in fear that he'll realize everything. He'll know everything from my eyes. I know he's trying to count on me, but he can't. Then what is he looking for?

"I don't understand," the headmaster steps back and sits down at the table, looking me over. "I don't understand, Luappo. What happened to you? When you walked in here the first time, I felt such a bright burst of warmth, and now there's a lot of coldness inside you, dead coldness. Yes, you could explain it by the fact that you are developing your dark side. But that's not it, Luappo. It's the pain you're hiding inside you. Resentment, probably anger, even hatred. Why do you have so many negative feelings right now, Luappo? Because they're the reason, you can't physically control yourself and you're losing control. Why?"

I bite my lip and lower my gaze. Because my heart is broken. Because I'm not Luappo. Because I fell in love with the wrong person. Because I was betrayed by a friend. Because I'm insanely lonely and I miss my best friend. Because I'm afraid of what will happen to Lua's faith. Because I'm just scared. There are so many reasons, but I can't say any of them.

"Luappo, we aren't your enemy. We are all here to protect you and help you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, dark lord," I whisper.

"Right now, you're having trouble controlling your dark side. It's saturating you and it's pretty strong. You can't control that power, Luappo, and it's getting out of control. I think you should discuss your feelings with Seraphus. He..."

"No, please," I blurt out, glaring at the headmaster, "not with him. I don't want to. I'll control myself, I promise. I... I won't suffer anymore... I'll be fine on my own. But just don't make me discuss it with him."

"Your reaction is quite telling, Luappo. Is this about Ellior? Why do you hate him so much?"

"It's not because of Ellior, and I don't hate him. I've already explained to you the reasons why I'm angry. It's just... mine, you know? It's mine and I don't want to discuss it with anyone. I'll handle it on my own. I have friends."

"Friends can't help, Luappo. You can hurt them, too, if the dark power inside you is suddenly overwhelming your body. You won't even have time to think about calling for help. Seraphus can help you, Luappo. He's a demon with a lot of dark power. He has subdued it and he'll help you subdue it. He is also your teacher."

"I remember that, but I'm not a demon. My dark power is just... pain, that's all. I block out my feelings, Headmaster. Any negative feelings, as long as I don't feel them. If I don't, I'll tear up in unbearable pain. I can't afford it. And I don't feel well," I lie.

"You don't feel well?

"A little. My head hurts and I'm nauseous and my whole body aches. I didn't sleep all night because I couldn't. I've been having nightmares about my visions. I'm... just a little tired, I guess. Everything here is too much for me. I've never been in society, dark lord. I've never socialized with so many different creatures. I'll rest, and it'll pass. Will it be? It will pass, won't it?"

"You know what, go to the healing block and have them give you a sedative, okay? We'll monitor your condition. You take the infusion for a week, and then we'll see. But if you need someone to talk to, come to me. I'll listen. Even if it's a matter of the heart, Luappo. You're still young for feelings, but sometimes you can't guess what can break you. Often it's love. So consider my words, but you'll still have to fulfill your punishment."

"I will. Can I not go to class tomorrow? I'd, uh, I'd get some rest. Sleep. Can I? One day, and then I'll pass everything."

"Okay, if you feel you need that, then stay in your room. Get some rest."

"Thank you, dark lord. Thank you for everything." I smile softly at him and he nods at me, covering his eyes a little.

I walk out of the office feeling a huge sense of guilt. I like the vampire. He's strict, but at the same time he tries to be a father figure to everyone here. I never had a father. I mean, I have one, but he pretended every day of my life that I was nothing to him. And when he was the one who came in drunk and found out something was missing in the morning, he always set me up. And I kept quiet. I was punished, and I kept quiet because he was my father. And now I could have found a father to whom I would like to tell everything about my pain, my regret, my life, but I can't. I can't be loved. It hurts so bad.

Noticing Mor outside the political science classroom, I walk over to him and touch his shoulder. He looks like he's been waiting for me, straightens his shoulders, ready to defend himself.

"Just tell me why you did this to me?" I ask him bitterly.

"To keep you from getting conceited, Luappo," he immediately replies.

«What? I've conceited?"

"Yes, you did. You don't see it, but I do. You've gotten close to that trio, and they're spoiling you for the worse. You're being rude to the teachers and allowing yourself a lot of things that I or Fima would definitely be punished for. We'd be beaten up for something like that, but you're allowed it. And why? Because you're stronger than us. What you did yesterday was bad. Very bad and you had no right to do it."

He's partly right. I was rude to Ellior in front of everyone, and to Seraphus.

"I would have done that if you were in the situation Stellare was in," I answer him quietly.

"And I don't want that. I hate lies. I'd rather be weak in something, but honest. Stellare must take his exams, and you've set him up. Could he do something like that on the exam? No, he would have failed because of you, because you wanted to show off for Ellior."

"I wasn't showing off. I was..."

"Yeah, yeah, you hate him," Mor waves me off and snorts. "But I think you want his attention. You're getting everyone's attention on purpose, to prove to your father that you're worth something. You have Seraphus' support. Yes, you saved him, but that doesn't make you better than us. You are like us, Luappo. But you didn't get enough attention, you needed a prince. So you decided to get him that way. What you did was disgusting, Luappo. And I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of your damaged ego. Need I remind you why we're all surrounded by the dejeu? Because of you. So don't show off, Luappo. You're no better than us," Mor pushes me with his shoulder and walks into the classroom, and I'm completely depressed. Is that what everyone thinks of me? Does everyone think I'm conceited and show-off? Mother, I'm not like that. Yes, I've been having trouble controlling my power lately, but I'm not disgusting. I was only trying to help, but I'm also trying to help myself. I've already admitted to myself that what I did was wrong, but the fact that Mor went and turned me in hurt me more.

I walk into the classroom and notice that Mor is sitting in my seat next to Fima. My friend smiles at me, making a seat to her left, but I give her a taut smile and move up higher.

"Don't mind if I sit with you, guys?" I ask the guys. Vox smiles and passes me over to Stellare.

"It's cool that you're with us now," Ailes winks at me, and Stellare rests his head on my shoulder. I catch Fima's puzzled look and lower my gaze. I have nothing to say to her. I just don't. I hate myself. I hate myself for forgetting about Lua, for leaving him alone and thinking only of myself, of my obsession with Seraphus.

The whole class I take notes on the lecture, and when a discussion starts, in which everyone takes part, proving their point of opinion, I'm silent. I still have nothing to say. I have never been versed in politics, nor do I need to be. I'm just a servant, I shouldn't forget that.

Next class is fighting. I'm paired with one of the elves, and he wins. Five times.

"Bad, Luappo, very bad," the teacher says glumly, shaking his head. I catch Mor poorly hiding his satisfied smile, and it hurts. Is this what he wanted? Wanted me to be the worst? Yeah, I'm the worst in a lot of ways.

"I'm sorry, I never learned that," I whisper.

"But you're not even trying."

"I'll be..."

"Don't. If you show the same poor result in your next class, I'll have to talk to the headmaster about extra classes for you. Understood?"

"Yes."

Even though I know I won't have another class here. I head to the locker room and take a quick shower, ignoring Mor's congratulations on winning the duel with the healer. Of course he did. The guy's skinny and weaker than Mor by leaps and bounds. That's not really something he should be proud of.

"Kan, please don't be upset," Vox puts an arm around my shoulders. "It's just a bad day."

"It's okay," I pull on a smile for him and walk out of the locker room, where Fima immediately catches me.

"What the hell is going on?" She hisses resentfully. "Why did you sit with them and not us, Kan?"

"Because Mor ratted me out to the headmaster because of what I did for Stellare in fire magic class, and he clearly despises me now."

"What, he did what? Is he out of his mind? I'll talk to him and..."

"Don't." I shake my head and place my palm on her shoulder. "You don't have to. He did what he thought was right and good for him. It's his decision, and I respect it. It's okay, I'll work off another punishment."

"You're being punished?"

"Yeah, I'll be cleaning the teacher's dragon stall. It's okay, really, Fima. I deserve it."

"What the hell," she snorts. "You didn't deserve to be punished for what you did. Everyone had fun. It was stupid, but you helped Stellare, that's all. You rubbed Ellior's nose in it."

"Mor thinks I'm out to get his attention," I croak in disgust.

"Oh, mother, I think Mor has lost his mind. Does he think you're determined to get into bed with Ellior? You're many times smarter than Mor thinks you are."

"Apparently not so smart in his eyes. But I admit I was a little over the top. Fima, it's okay, really. Don't worry about it."

"Okay."

"Kan, let's go," Ailes puts his arm around my waist and pushes me forward.

"Yeah, we agreed to all continue working on the ball while we have a free hour. Then class with Seraphus."

"Yeah, I hear he's in a bad mood today. The second level barely survived a lesson with him. Everyone got a hard time. Apparently your brother, Stellare, got him completely pissed off," Vox shoves a side of Stellare, who is braiding his hair.

"I'm not surprised. Ellior's unbearable. He should go home. What's he doing here pissing everyone off?" Stellare replies grudgingly.

"I also heard that Ellior came here to find a new lover," Ailes whispers. "The guys were talking."

"Let's talk things over where people can't hear us. Let's go," Fima points her head toward the third level, who is having a class right now.

Everyone nods, but I can't. I can't sit there with them and pretend that I care about the ball. I won't be there. I can't pretend I'm perfectly fine. Besides, I need to pack some food for the road.

"You know, go alone. I need to go to the treatment building to get a sedative. The headmaster said to take it," I pull Ailes' hands off of me and take a step back.

"Are you okay?" Vox asks worriedly.

"Insomnia and nightmares when I fall asleep."

"Come spend the night at our place," Ailes offers, playing with his eyebrows.

"Thanks, I'll think it over."

"You can sleep over with me too," Fima smiles. "At least with me, your ass won't be in pain the next day."

Everyone laughs, and I smile at them. I'll miss them. I'll really miss the guys. Because then they will hate me for deceiving them, for being a nobody, a servant, and lying to them.

"I'll join you a little later. I'll stop at the dining hall. I haven't had breakfast today."

"Okay. We'll be in an empty classroom on the third floor."

"Grab me something to eat, too."

"You already ate, Ailes."

"Yeah, and then you drank my energy, Vox. I need energy."

The guys leave, still chatting, and I look sadly after them. Without me, they'll be protected. They'll be fine.

I'm not going to any treatment block right now. I just want to be alone and eat. I don't have an appetite, though. I sit in the dining hall looking at a full plate. There will be no such abundance tomorrow. I have no gold. I won't be able to buy food for myself, but I can create it. But food like this doesn't keep you full for long. For an hour or less, because I don't know how to create the food that Mother creates in nature. That's okay. I'll be fine. We'll find Lua and then we'll figure out what to do.

Suddenly, a plate of strawberries appears in front of me, and I look up.

"Hi," I smile weakly at Piros, seated across from me with a milkshake.

"Hi."

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah. Where's your support group? Those assholes who can't get enough of you?"

"My friends are discussing the ball. Thank you for telling me about it, by the way. Did you get an invitation? They were supposed to be sent out yesterday."

"Yes, I did, but I hate the balls, so I'll skip it. It's an interesting topic you've taken on, so much shit is going to come up."

"Why?"

"Lua, the war isn't over. And you've chosen politics. But I'd come to the ball to see them harass each other or have an orgy," he grins.

"Come on, everything will be fine. It's important to remind everyone that we're all the same. We're all alive."

"You're such a pacifist," Piros tsks.

I hardly am. I'm not that good. Today I found out what Mor really thinks of me, and it still hurts. It's a pain I'm blocking too, but it's weakly bursting through.

"What's wrong? You always shine, Lua, and now it's just darkness."

"I'm not a warrior," I say, deciding that's the best way to explain my mood. "There was a fighting lesson just now, and I was terrible. I don't know how to fight. I don't know how to fight at all."

"You don't know how or don't want to know how?"

"I don't know how."

"I don't believe it, Lua. As far as I know, you're top of the class. You're strong. But your attitude is understandable. Besides, you don't need to know everything. I'm a fighting dragon and my mission is to be able to defend myself with any weapon."

"But you're turning. Don't you?"

"Yes, but it's not always possible to turn. We must be able to fight without turning."

"And still, I'm not a warrior. You're a warrior, I'm not. Look at you and me. I'm several times your size. I can barely lift a sword, then wave it like a flag and that's it. That's the most I can do."

"Again, I don't believe you. You rely on your powers, Lua. What if you don't have the power? If you don't have your powers, like then with Seraphus? You need to know how to defend yourself."

"From what? The war is over."

"It doesn't matter. You've already been attacked once. What if they attack you again? You'll be killed or badly wounded. Do you want me to teach you?"

"You?" I ask him incredulously.

"Yes, I'm. I have the highest level of fighting skills. I can train you extra."

"Thank you, Piros, but you don't have to. I don't want to bother you."

"Look, I'm lazy. I'm a dragon and we're lazy. I don't help anyone. So if I suggested it, it means I want it. But you're going out with me."

"Piros," I smile and shake my head. "I told you..."

"I remember. I agree. But we'll go on a date in the town and your friends won't be there. They annoy me. They're so clingy. And you'll want me. It's easy. I'll help you, I'll build a bond with you, show you I'm strong and can protect you, and then you'll end up in my bed. I've got it all planned out." he pats himself on the temple with a smile.

"You know you just told me the whole plan to sleep with me, right?" I laugh. His face pulls up and then he frowns. I touch his arm, regretting even to him I'll have to say goodbye. "Thank you for the offer, Piros. I'll think about it, okay? And if I accept, I'll go out with you. You don't have to prove to me what you're like. I know who you are. The way you're acting is a result of something that happened in the past. You're afraid of something, that's why you growl at everyone. But I know you're different. You're very caring and lonely. I'm the same way."

"So we can skip this whole dating idiocy and you'll be mine right away?"

"No," I laugh and slap his arm. "It means you don't have to doing things you're disgusted with. I told you I'd be happy to be friends with you. And yes, I know that's not enough for you, but let's start with friendship, shall we?"

Mother, what am I doing? I'm deceiving Piros. I'm giving him hope when I'm about to run away. Seeing his smile and his eyes flashing fire is delightful, but I'm digging my own grave. I'm such an asshole.

"I have to go. I have to pick up my work and turn it in for class. So you'll think about me training you?"

"I'll think about it," I nod.

"Good. Eat up, Lua. You didn't eat breakfast, you didn't eat dinner last night either. At least eat some strawberries," he winks at me and walks away, and I stare at the plate of berries. Everything in my chest is tearing apart, but I cut it off. Blocking it out again and again. Again and again. I don't want to leave here. I want to stay here, study here, be myself, not hide my name. But I won't be accepted. I don't belong here. Lua is waiting for me.

I put the strawberries in a napkin and put it in my bag. At least I'll have a good dinner. I finish my glass of water, set my plate down, and am about to leave the dining hall to look for Lua again when someone grabs my arm sharply.

Before I can even protest, I rush after Ellior, who drags me behind him.

"What are you doing?" I hiss angrily, trying to break free.

But he ignores me, flying past the students whom looking back at us. What's he doing? What does he want from me again?

"Ellior!" I rest my feet on the floor and yank him toward me. That finally stops Ellior, and he turns around.

"You're coming with me, understand? Otherwise, I'll send a note to Isengard right now and let him know that his son doesn't study here. He tricked him. You can imagine what the duke will do to his son, right?" He hisses with a squint.

"You wouldn't dare," I whisper. "You're not that cruel."

"You have no idea how cruel I can be, Arkan, when I'm not given what I want. And yes, Seraphus has told me all about you. You're nothing. You're a servant with no rights. So follow me and I'll probably keep quiet for a while about the fact that Luappo Isengard actually ran away from his father."

I gulp in fear, and pain pierces my heart. How could Seraphus do this to me? Why did he tell him everything? He promised.

"Fine, I'll go with you, but I'm only doing it for Lua's sake," I say humbly.

"Fine," Ellior smiles cheerfully.

And I follow him, suppressing the pain and frustration again. Why? I'm so tired already. Tired of being afraid all the time. My resolve to run tonight only grows stronger. Ellior won't get to Lua. I could put him to sleep or... or slip him what I'm supposed to be given at the healing block. Yes, I could. I could do a lot of things to protect Lua. I still don't believe Seraphus betrayed me. Yeah, well, what did I expect? I'm no longer the Duke's son. I'm nothing to him. And I have no rights. I'll be manipulated, dominated, commanded by them, just like before. I hate this life. I hate the rich. They all think only of themselves. But no one asked me if I had a reason to do it. Why did I do it? No, nobody's interested, because I'm nobody and I'm worth nothing.

Ellior leads me to the block where the teachers' rooms are located. I glance at the closed door of Seraphus's room. Is he there? Does he even know what he has condemned me to? It hurts so much...

"I have a lesson on dark magic," I inform Ellior quietly.

"That's okay. You can be late if I want you to be. Seraphus won't bother you at all. Besides, I'll explain it to him later. Let's go." Ellior yanks me toward him as he opens the door. My bag falls to the floor. I lean down, and Ellior walks into his room.

Abruptly, the floor begins to move out from under my feet. My head spins, as does the world around me. I grip Ellior's hand harder, but he's trying to pull me away. And I fall right on top of him. His arms wrap around me, holding me tighter against him, and my whole body is pierced by a discharge of energy. And the darkness engulfs me. I lose consciousness before I'm even scared.