Ordinary.

That word was not available in his dictionary, and no matter how much he went through the books, he never found any synonym to it that he could make use of in his life.

The pattern of his life consisted of huge ups and downs, surely downs more than ups though.

He secluded himself away from others for longer than he ever wished for, at first it was hard for a person that was known as a social butterfly to become a lone wolf all of a sudden, but he preferred to mask the hint of black that tinged his white canvas.

Joy was a missing element in his life, amusement refused to attend that class as well, which forced him to abandon his habits of hanging out clubbing or simply, leading a life a person his age would normally be living.

He wasn't that way from the get-to go, he turned that way at a certain point. Experiencing the loss of a beloved wasn't easy, especially, when it was tragically unexpected.

Life knew how to surprise him on a frequency that wasn't to his liking. He became a genius of anticipation with the experience he was served, so at a certain point, he decided to counterattack.

Taehyung was well aware of your situation, he followed up with your case ever since you've been sentenced until the moment your first crisis appeared, the moment you have been taken to the asylum, he decided to take the first flight back home, but the courage to meet you stayed absent no matter how much hard he tried to summon it.

The gravity of your state made him lost between abhorring and pity. You killed his brother and it wasn't something he could throw behind his back after an apology that would be of no gain, it's not like you stumbled on his foot by mistake, not like you spilled some milk over his shirt, you spilled blood.

You did him wrong. You deprived him of his brother whom he considered a fatherly figure. You made him an orphan again when he just forgot what that meant.

Yet, your state wasn't doing him any good, knowing that you were slowly fading away like a speck of dust on a windy day, the fear that has visited his heart every time he thought about a world without your presence in it, penetrated in his heart deeper than a pointed dagger, it killed him daily without discarding punctuality.

The court allowed you to receive your needed treatment, but they never allowed your hospitalization, in the eyes of the public sentiment, you were a witch without heart, you were a killer that has taken away the life of her own husband without batting an eye, which has made the public attorney keen to keep you grounded on your cold cell although you were battling with demons and monsters inside your head. Those sounds you kept hearing only got louder day after the other, they lived in your brain rent-free and you failed to kick them out. Your instance only became worst albeit the weekly visits to the hospital, those injections the doctor provided were very mild for your strong case, with time they lost their effect on your body. Deprivation from sleep followed as a consequence of the constant disturbance you were living in, and without even marking the date of when it started, you found yourself facing panic attacks, it was only days after when you lost your ability to speak and to resonate logically with your surroundings including your cellmates and guards.

Your state alerted everyone, you should really be thankful to that female guard that you never bothered yourself to ask about her name, although a glance at her name tag was more than enough to figure it out had you been interested.

That quiet night when she was doing her usual rounds, she was inwardly grateful for the calm that surrounded the prison and for the unusually good behavior of the cell inmates who seemed to be fast asleep when the lights were turned off from the general generator, obliging to the orders and the ongoing procedures that ruled the place. The woman sensed in the middle of silence some muffled whimpers, they rang in her ears like some captive sobs, and in a matter of seconds, the sounds spiked her curiosity. Her feet were fast enough allowing her to save the day from a huge tragedy that was about to happen, flashing her card on the cell's lock, she ranted inside it at a speed that was far from normal for a human being- replacing the chair beneath your feet for your body to regain balance, she swiftly jumped on the desk that was close from your hanging figure, she brought you close enough to her body and undid the knot that was hanging around your neck, you both fell on the ground as your body was still facing a strong trauma, however, the little fall didn't stop her from following the books, her hand reached for the whistle that was hanging loose around her neck alone with few other tags and master keys, blowing on it multiple times to recollect the attention of the guards that were nearby executing their rounds.

That incident was enough for Taehyung to request a detailed report from the newly appointed doctor. The doctor you had was a mere intern and couldn't deal with such a complex case, so your file has been transferred and the new doctor outraged himself to keep you safe from your own self.

The transferred file reached the prosecution office and the tribunal without spending even a night in Taehyung's drawer alongside some information about your attempt at suicide, the mention of it alone was more than enough for the court to rule out that your hospitalization was of extreme necessity, the pressure the prison's warden had applied couldn't stay out of consideration as well, he couldn't forfeit the reputation of his correctional establishment that easily, and the slight threats under the form of advises Taehyung had given him, couldn't go unheard.

Taehyung was always behind the scenes, monitoring closely whatever occurrence happened to you, the calm days you spent were helping him regain focus on his life that has been lost between the dramatic events that kept pouring down on him, but whenever your state got agitated, his own couldn't stay uncontaminated. At a certain point, everything started becoming overwhelming, thoughts about leaving it all behind including you, the past, and his late brother visited his brain in a continuous frequency, in the end, there was no need to hang in the past any longer, a man like him should have known better than living in a pity fiery, but breaking free was a luxury he couldn't afford albeit his richness.

" Taehyung, what's up man?"

"Living I guess, up for a drink? "

" Needy for a talk?"

" It seems like I still have some untold tales, funny isn't it?"

While you were surrounded by more people than you were actually aware of, for knowledge wasn't at your side, frankly speaking, Taehyung was completely left alone, only memories keeping him company and many of those you have tarnished while you tore others apart.

Using your doctor's kindness to his benefit was never one of his aims, in fact, your doctor was one of his best friends, a dear one whom he knew from high school up to college, before he decided proceeding his studies in the states; getting far from sight led to becoming far from the heart as well, so their friendship stumbled on the way.

The irony was really funny when it came to relations, the lost friendship got solidified with your agony, the two men found their way back together while patching you up. Taehyung figured out by pure coincidence that Jimin was your doctor, he couldn't thank the odds enough for such help he was being provided with, everything got easier, information that were bound to be sealed were being handed easily out for his reach over a few Martinis in one of their favorite lounges in Gagnam, or their perspective houses in nights were privacy was needed.

" Where are you?"

" Ten o'clock, at the counter Jimin, please put your glasses or lenses on, I'm literally in front of you."

Taehyung prayed daily although his unfamiliarity with any religion or ritual that could exist in this world, nonetheless, with all the faith he could show to whoever was up there listening to his earnest requests, he wished for a bit of courage to meet you, to take just a glance at you even from a far away distance, but his prayers weren't granted.

Jimin who knew partially about your story from Taehyung's perspective, advised him multiple times to visit you, placing all his hopes on that visit- he really was convinced that Taehyung's sudden appearance in your life would bring some amelioration to your instance, so he was being persistent about it which somehow pestered Taehyung but instead of angering him, it has almost convinced him.

It did.

" I guess the key is in your hand, help me and yourself Tae."

" The key you're talking about could be destructive."

" You can never be sure if you don't try, she needs urgent help, her situation isn't getting any better."

" The help you're seeking from me could end up being a strong trigger, I'm from her past, plus, I'm somehow involved with her personally, shall I remind you of the ethics of our line of work?"

If not for his professionalism and excellence when it came to his job which he loved, Taehyung would have never been able to reach the state he was in at such a young age, his devotion and commitment were the climbers he used to walk his way up on the ladder, becoming one of the youngest professors in psychology, while maintaining his main job as a doctor.

Teaching was something he enjoyed, at times he even considered taking a full-time position in the university, breaking with that free from the walls of the hospital altogether, but his dream was shattered by the sudden turnover the events have taken, so pursuing a life he desired started getting further away with every dramatic day he lived until the tiny light of hope disappeared completely.

Such a person who worshipped his job couldn't break its rules that easily, meeting you was against his job ethics, it could expose you to danger, and it could risk his career.

" You should consider the reversed effect as well, Kim Taehyung."

Jimin adjourned their ongoing court, he made unknowingly a sentence that Taehyung failed to pronounce every time, or maybe preferred keeping the consideration of such a thought as far as he could ever send it.

The idea was in his brain but he fought it with all his might, he lacked many things to execute it one of them was courage, the others were mixed feelings that were not clearly translated albeit the huge dictionary of intellect he had, however, reading Jimin's daily reports, with everything you were provided starting from sessions down to medicines that kept increasing daily, you kept showing no improvement, adding fuel to fire, Jimin's words were more than enough to take his final decision.

So he did what seemed for him feasible, but was not very logical.

"Miss Baek, please take a seat."

From the moment he took the position as your newly appointed doctor, Taehyung only related to Jimin's report, however analyzing you personally was a different story. Every action of yours during that first session screamed danger, huge red flags to his professionally trained senses, everything kept screaming self-destruction while many other details of the same importance were missing.

That case should be changed asap.

The indicators your behavior kept giving were frightening, he knew that morally speaking living with a pang of guilt such as the one you had over your shoulders was not at all easy, it led many besides you to insanity and he witnessed that with his own eyes, however, that couldn't be the only cause for your instance although the huge size of it.

Your behavior based on reports he received under the tables, and the ones officially handed down to him, were all stating some weird comportment characterized by fear- It was you who has killed a person with your own will while being completely sober from any form of stupefacients, how come you were constantly scared? From what exactly?

Taehyung went through the police's report many times that he lost count, he remembered every sentence by heart, your statement was clear, and there was no mention of self-defense which has excluded domestic abuse from the list of potential triggers. He knew his brother as the palm of his hand, Seokjin was far away from being aggressive, let alone a woman abuser- that couldn't be the case.

Again, that was his humble point of view.

" From the session we had, I realized that something different could have been the trigger of the schizophrenia she has been diagnosed with."

" The medications were not of huge help either, the patient is also very enclosed in her own space, it's not easy to break through the walls she keeps building around her, so I keep failing on getting leads to help with."

Taehyung leaned back on the headrest of his chair, letting out a sigh that was rapidly followed by a smirk while looking at Miss Baek straight in the eyes, his hand went to reach for his raven locks, pushing the fringe that kept bothering his eyes backward- it definitely needs a cut.

"I guess that early signs of some other psychological impairment were lingering way before the accident, please take a look at this."

Turning his laptop to face the woman sitting across behind his desk, he played a thumbnail from that recording of your first session, the woman couldn't notice what he was talking about, however, he knew you in your healthy days, it didn't take him a master degree to spot the fear that filled your eyes every time he went near to you.

You were afraid of human touches, of humans generally speaking.

Men particularly.

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