I had been so secretive, I didn't even normally say anything about my life. I guess you could say I was pretty well hidden.... I was hidden inside of myself.

"I can't be helped." I said quietly, in a whisper. He could read and hear what I was saying... I knew he could, and he did. "Don't waste your time." I added.

"I'm going to help anyway, and I'm not going to waste my time. I like helping people." He replied with a hopeful comfortable smile... Was he trying to get me to fake smile? That's all I could do, really. I had lost my smile long ago, and my fake smile was all I had left.

'You can't help, why must you try?' Was something in my brain. It was some-sort of lyric to some music preformed by a pony... It was a great piece. I loved it.

"That's what everyone says.... Then they leave. It's the cycle. It continues on and on, eventually they just start forgetting and I'll be nothing but a memory." I began, and still avoided eye contact. I looked at the ground, my eyes empty and dry, though they should have been wet with tears.... I couldn't cry, though. I was too empty.

Even if I could cry, I wouldn't let myself cry in front of him-- Or anyone, for that matter.

"You'll try to help, and then you will fail. I'll open up to you, and you will fail. I'll trust you, then you will fail. Then you will learn that I've tried to kill myself before, and you'll want to help even more. You will fail.  Then I will try to commit suicide, because I let myself open up to you, and I'll fail. Then it will get awkward between us..." I started this long story of words that were coming from my broken heart.