me, myself, and i

~~~

SHE COULDN'T HELP BUT JUMP AT THE OWL'S HOOT THAT REACHED HER EARS, echoing throughout the forest.

Coral gave her a sideways glance. "You alright?"

"Fine, fine." Venom shook out her pelt. "It's just..." She didn't even know what was bothering her. Something was offsetting, and she'd jumped at every rustle of a bush and crack of a twig.

"We can head back, if you'd like," Coral offered, though Venom detected a look of sadness in her friend's eyes.

"No, no," the black she-cat insisted, not wanting to spoil Coral's fun. "We haven't hung out, just the two of us, in so long. This'll be great."

The cream-colored she-cat beamed as she flicked her tail. "Come on. I found a cool place I really wanna show you!"

With that, Venom padded after her, following Coral deeper and deeper into the woods, farther and farther away from PeaceClan's camp. The two made conversation along the way, chatting and joking like they used to. And when the moon hung high in the sky, Coral finally stopped.

"Look!"

Venom blinked, feeling weariness and exhaustion sink onto her bones. "What?"

"Look at this boulder!" Coral chirped happily.

The black she-cat tilted her head. "You brought me all the way out here... to see a boulder?" She could hear the yawn on her voice, sleepiness clouding her mind. "That's cool, Coral. Want to head back now? We're both exhausted, and we've got a lot to do tomorrow, so we'll need a full night's sleep-"

"Aren't you going to ask me why I brought you to see a boulder?" Coral interrupted.

Venom's features drew into a frown, feeling the exhaustion slip away little by little at the sound of her friend's sharp tone. "I don't really see why I'd need to. I assume it's just a cool boulder you found while exploring, Coral. Maybe a place we could turn into a den? A storage area?"

Coral barked a laugh. "No, no. That's not it. Ask me why Venom. Ask me why this boulder has any significance."

Venom felt her pelt beginning to bristle. "You're starting to scare me, Coral. Let's just head back, okay? You're tired, so let's just go back and sleep-"

"Come on, Venom." Coral lashed her tail. "Just one simple word. That's all you need to say."

The black she-cat jumped back, her ears pressed down. "Coral-"

"Ask me," Coral snapped. "Ask me and learn why! Learn that my father died from your father smashing his head onto a boulder, and that my father had done nothing, absolutely nothing, to deserve that! The only thing he ever did was be friends with a cat your father disliked and learn a secret about your family. Then your father tracked him down and killed him. Learn that when I said goodnight to my father the night before, that was the last time I ever spoke to him."

"Coral, I'm sorry." Venom's voice came out in a choked whisper. Her father had killed Coral's? Her mind flashed to when she and the cream-colored she-cat first met, the oddness of speaking about WarClan. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know-"

"Learn that Rattlesnake became a hated word in my family," Coral hissed, "that even though your Clanmates were too weak to stand up to him, I'm not. That I vowed to get revenge, and I will now, by bashing the head of Rattlesnake's daughter onto a boulder, just like how my father died."

Venom's eyes widened as she realized what Coral meant. "You wouldn't." Her voice is low as she began backing away slowly, shock instilling through her body. "You wouldn't. We spent moons together, moons-"

"Of course, it won't be as good as killing Rattlesnake himself," Coral meowed, "but need not worry. My family are on that. We're sick and tired of Rattlesnake's tyranny, of him thinking that he can do whatever he wants just because he's the leader of WarClan! Well, he can mess with the cats inside his Clan, they're too weak to stand up to him, anyway, but leave us alone. We will get our revenge, and every single member of Rattlesnake's kin will be dead. My family will finish them off back in WarClan, and I'll take care of you here."

"Coral, I'm your friend," Venom tried to reason, her voice cracking. And you're my friend. My best friend. My first friend. 

The black she-cat would trust Coral with her life. In fact, in a way, she had. She gave Coral everything, spilled everything to the cream she-cat, was completely vulnerable towards her. She'd given Coral her life, and Coral had just turned around and stepped on it.

The cream-colored she-cat's eyes were unforgiving. "And he was my father." Her tone was icy. "My father dead because he was the friend with a hated cat. Now you dead because you are the daughter of Rattlesnake. A fair trade, I'd say."

And just like that, Coral jumped onto Venom.

The black she-cat kicked out instinctively, her sadness slowly turning into anger. I gave Coral absolutely everything. And what did she do? Turned around and stabbed me in the back. Venom's lips pulled into a snarl. It's not fair.

Coral raised a paw, intending to bring it down and smash the black she-cat's head against the boulder. "Goodbye, Venom," she whispered softly. "I'll take care of PeaceClan well for you."

Grief? Was that grief and regret Venom detected? But it was too late. The black she-cat was already angry, and when fury muddled her mind, there was no way Coral was going to leave this place alive.

Venom rolled out of the way, leaping to her paws and sending quick, powerful attacks to the cream she-cat, knocking her to the ground. She was panting, amber eyes turning into a shade of red.

"You think you can kill me so easily?" Her voice came out in ragged breaths. "Rattlesnake may be horrible, but why does no cat stand up to him? Fear. And how does he acquire that fear? His power. WarClan is powerful. And I trained there!" With a final blow, Venom brought her claws down onto Coral's neck, killing her.

And that was when realization came in, washing over the black she-cat like icy water.

I killed Coral.

The words repeated in Venom's head, again and again, the black she-cat's face nothing but blank horror.

I killed Coral. I killed the only cat I could trust. My only friend.

A second cat. I killed a second cat.

Venom couldn't count how long she'd been there, curled up, sobbing beside Coral's dead body, the same words running through her mind. It was only when the moon had set and sun rose that the black she-cat got onto her paws unsteadily, making a final decision.

She wasn't going to run away this time. No, she was going to stay. Each time she learned from her mistakes. This time, she'd come to the conclusion never to let another cat in ever again.

That, added together with the experience with Flame. What did that give her? Never trust another cat, but let them all trust her. Never be willing to die for them, but let them give their lives to save her.

That seemed pretty perfect, didn't it?

Venom buried Coral. She returned to camp, telling the story of a fox attack, how the fox had killed Coral then she the fox, burying both of them. She carried no scent of fox, but all the cats believed her, because why would friends lie to each other?

Venom stripped away the role of deputy, grief lumbering in her soul, limping into her den after the medicine cats patched her up, destroying Coral's nest before curling up in her own.

Coral and Scorpion both left her. The two cats she trusted and loved the most, gone.

This was it. No more friends.

From now on, it'll just be me and my shadow.

~~~

heyyy! another longer chapter, hehe, and i'm going to predict the next one will be around the same length, too.

so, what did you think? last flashback chapter! hope this clears up some of venom's thought process in the present. i know this is pretty much a cliché confession + motive, but i thought it fit in pretty well with rattlesnake's background and all.

as always, thank you so much for reading! you guys are amazing!!

~ lily