[Saturday, October 19th]

[a/n soundtrack time: kindly press play]

Where are you, Taehyung....

As Jimin feared, Taehyung was off somewhere, probably grinding on a stranger. Why the fuck had he agreed to come to this party?

Sure, it was fine when they first arrived. Relatively quiet, with music and snacks. Taehyung introduced him to the hosts, who were really sweet and even gave them a tour of their home.

But after about an hour, the music was pumping louder and the air became thick with body heat as more and more people began streaming into the house.

People including Hoseok and Yoongi.

Yoongi, who Jimin knew, hated parties. And dancing. And crowds. And people. But Jimin quickly realized that Yoongi was able to push all of that aside to be with his boyfriend. Something he hadn't done for Jimin.

Then, Hoseok introduced Jimin to Yoongi's roommate... Something -kook.

He couldn't remember. And he didn't care.

He was too focused on the way Hoseok's hands drifted along Yoongi's body. And the way Yoongi responded.

Ever since the day he hung out with Yoongi at Hoseok's apartment, ever since he'd inadvertently heard them exchange quiet I-love-yous, it took all of his self-control not to torture himself with the idea that it should be him.

The questions that raced through his mind started small but increased in treachery, like raindrops collecting together as they slid dangerously down a sloping windowpane.

What if he had met Yoongi again before Hoseok? Why could Yoongi say I love you to Hoseok and not him? What the fuck had Yoongi found in Hoseok that Jimin couldn't already provide? What would it take to get him back?

He'd never had these urges before, and would never have dreamt that he'd have these thoughts about one of his friend's boyfriends. But this was different. This was Yoongi.

At this point, Jimin was already a couple of drinks in and hoped that his jealousy wasn't completely out in the open. He consciously put effort into making his voice steady, into laughing at Hoseok's jokes, into not screaming in frustration.

Jimin tried to continue making small talk, but he couldn't stop himself from noticing the way that Yoongi looked at Hoseok.  Yoongi gazed at him like he was a lighthouse guiding him through a raging storm. Like he was the only star on the darkest night. He'd never looked at Jimin that way when they were together. [we've all seen it... like the way he's looking at hobi on my book cover]

Eventually, he dismissed himself from the group, claiming he wanted to find more snacks. The music became louder and made Jimin feel unsteady. He grabbed another drink and sat at the edge of the room trying to clear his thoughts.

Or cloud his thoughts. Whichever came first.

But without realizing, he kept searching them out in the crowd, as if his eyes worked independently of the rest of his body and wanted only to punish him. He couldn't help watching them hold each other.

Laugh with each other.

Dance together.

Yoongi never once danced with Jimin.

He watched their bodies move together. The way Yoongi's hands caressed him and pulled him impossibly close. The way his lips effortlessly formed the words "I love you"  in Hoseok's ear.

Jimin wanted that.

♫ i don't want your body, but i hate to think about you with somebody else.

our love has gone cold. you're intertwining your soul with somebody else. ♫

Wrong time to focus on the music...

That was all he could take. 

Jimin stood and looked around the room for a way out and found it in the door that led to the backyard. He turned the handle and went out, not thinking about if he should tell Taehyung first, or if he'd be able to get back in the way he came. He just couldn't be in a room with Yoongi right now. 

And he definitely couldn't trust himself to speak to Hoseok.

[a/n]

sorry if you don't like my jimin, BUT,

he's designed to be pretty much

battling with the idea of crossing the line.

i'm kind of proud that i'm incorporating him.

this jimin is new territory for me;

It's kind of a stretch for me to write about blind jealousy,

especially since jimin is such a sweetheart mochi in 90% of ffs

you'll see how this plays out

btw

totally dancing + writing + editing

who said i can't multitask...

dance with me?

💜