36 - Rest
The sand gave way too easily under Angel's paws. After a long day of pacing around the plaza, her pads sore from the hard press of smoothed stone, the beach's surface was a welcoming contrast.
Pausing, she let her claws slide between the grains as she tipped her head back. The sun's final rays gave her one last sweep of light before vanishing beneath the horizon. An evening breeze danced a slow waltz into her outspread wings, barely strong enough to lift the larger feathers, catching a stilled rest every few moments. Her head pounded. It was too hot today, and while she was grateful for the evening's chill, she urged the wind to blow just a little harder and bring that extra coolness.
Gradually, she lifted her paws, creating a path of indented prints through the sand. She followed the breeze, leaning into where its chill grew stronger. It hailed from the sheet of sparkling blue, darkened with strips of navy as it mirrored night's approaching shadows, that lay up ahead.
While the air had been Angel's domain from the moment she'd gained her wings, the sea had always been a close second. Enclosed in her woodland hut and the bubble of fear that imprisoned her parents, or even the fragile life of the Twilytra, she hadn't had the chance to visit it often. But those few, precious moments she'd spent at a cliff edge, or here on this very beach, were unforgettable.
After her return at nightfall the previous day, still reeling from her visit to her old home, everything had become an exhausting blur. The sleep had been fitful, loaded with worry. Every second of the day had been filled with rushed preparations, and thrown-together training, and what felt like dozens of wolves. If the physical exhaustion wasn't enough to break her soon, she was sure the constant social interactions would claim her.
This was her first moment of respite in all that time. According to Dawn, she should be spending it sleeping before she began her patrols of the night, but she knew it would be futile even to try. Coming here would have to suffice for rest.
She gave the sky a quick glance, acknowledging the specs of silver beginning to emerge from night's velvet folds, before turning her attention fully to the ocean ahead of her. The sound of the waves washed over her, chasing away the stabbing pain of her headache. The sand was growing wet now, but still it gave pleasingly beneath her paws. Even if the grains were beginning to clump around her claws.
There was a figure ahead of her. The shape of a blue wolf, fur blending with the water lapping over his paws. He had been nothing but a silhouette from further down the beach, but now the sea-like swathes of his fur and even the rounded shape of his ears were sharply clear.
Dipping her head, Angel swallowed. Though Morgan's eyes had flicked to her several times over the course of the day, she'd been too busy to approach him, and he had never managed to grab her attention at the right time.
Her paws slowed to a stop, denting the sodden sand. The last word she'd spoken to him was a yell for him to run, on the battlefield with her wing in tatters, moments before darkness had claimed her. A huge part of her begged her to change that, tugging her towards him, but still she hung back. He looked so serene sitting there alone, wisps of his blue fur captured by the ocean's breeze. Perhaps she should retreat and find another safe place to relax.
The better half of her paw was now submerged in sand, and she pulled it out hurriedly before it could sink any further. The rake of her claws upwards produced a muffled crunch, faint but easily carried in the still silence of evening. Morgan's head whipped around.
A warm smile, twitching upwards so fast it could only be instinctive, curved his snout. The gold in his eyes sparkled, tiny fragments of the disappearing sunlight illuminating his gaze. "Hey," he said softly.
"Hey." She crossed the final stretch of distance between them, wading through the miniature waves as they crashed on the beach. Tiny streaks of foam swirled around her paws. Her wings twitched as she reached him, a faint nervousness trembling in their feathers. It was nothing like the anxiety that had gripped her in his presence previously, though; perhaps it was the beach's calm, but standing beside Morgan had an altered feel now. Something more pleasurable. The last traces of her headache were whisked away by the breeze.
They remained in silence for a while. Angel couldn't name the exact moment, but at some point she lowered herself into the stretched waves and sat with him. They both stared out into the ocean as the remainder of the day sank away and the stars were instead reflected in the smooth waters.
Eventually, it was Morgan's voice that cut through the veil of quiet, voice low. "I'm sorry I left you."
Angel risked a glance his way. Their eyes met, before he dipped his head and she yanked her gaze back to the horizon. "I told you to run. I'm glad you listened," she said stiffly.
"But it wasn't right to leave you. I should have stayed to protect you, like... like we said."
She felt his eyes on her again, and found herself drawn to return to them. This time, the connection remained, though her claws dug into the sand to express her uncertainty. "It was," she told him, and found her voice surprisingly hardened. She was sure her words were true. "If you had stayed, you would have got hurt. I was already hurt. At least this way, only one of us got hurt."
A half-smile briefly appeared on his snout before falling away. "I know," he said quietly. "But I didn't want you to get any more hurt than you were. I didn't want you to get taken away. But it happened, and I didn't even try to stop it." His voice quivered.
Angel felt a sharpness in her gaze, something close to a glare but different. Not accusing, but determined to jab that guilt she saw shining in his eyes far away. She hated the pain it was causing him. "You couldn't have stopped me from being taken. Whether you'd fought with me or not, the Shadewylves would have captured me or both of us. By running, you saved yourself from my fate, but you also gave us a fighting chance. You could have come back later and saved me." She ducked her head. "Well, okay, you didn't, but you being here to protect the town - and Dawn - was also really important."
He wasn't convinced, but at least that half-smile remained now. They both turned back to the sea.
"Thank you," he whispered, after several seconds had passed.
"You're welcome," she responded, mirroring the sincerity in his tone. What his thanks were for, she wasn't sure, but she accepted them with gratitude. It was comforting to know she'd helped with something, knowingly or not.
In the corner of her eye, the movement of his snout caught her attention. It opened, wavered in that state, and then slowly closed again. She turned her gaze slightly so that she noticed the flick of his ears, and the dip of his head, before he finally opened his snout again and spoke. "I want to tell you something, Angel."
"Then go ahead." When silence followed, she twisted her head to offer him a smile. The anxiety in the shuffle of his paws sparked curiosity in her heart. "Go on," she prompted, feeling an edge of concern tinge her tone.
"Okay." Sweeping a paw through the shallows, he sent a minature wave of his own rippling out to sea, soon felled by the might of the ocean's current. "Okay. I..."
"Come on," she snapped, though the harshness that might have emerged was automatically softened to something almost teasing. She couldn't bring herself to fully be frustrated by his shadowed blue form.
"Okay," he said again. Fixing him with a stare, she cocked her head sideways. He barked a laugh. "Alright, I'm sorry." His tail splashed behind him, showering Angel's back with cool droplets. "I know we're not supposed to talk about our pasts in the Twilytra, but... but I want to tell you about me. I want someone to know, and... I'd rather it was you."
It was a good job that Angel was sitting stationary on the ground. If she had been flying, she might have toppled out of the sky. The question of why danced on her tongue, but she swallowed it, and merely nodded her head. If he wanted to talk, she should let him talk.
"I come from Graystra." His anxiety turned still and solemn. Angel's head instantly bowed, weighed by the memories of hearing about the attack. It had been a short time before she herself joined the Twilytra, but the news of the destruction that occured had rippled through every loner in the forest. Meeting Morgan's gaze, she did her best to convey her sympathy for what he must have lost.
But from the dark look in his golden eyes, she hadn't heard the worst of it yet.
"Both my parents were killed," he continued, voice hard as he forced the words out. "But my brother and I... we were spared."
"Why?" Angel asked softly. He paused, swallowing, and she let him.
"The Shadewylves had us cornered. Zale - my brother - he was stood over me, I remember. I... I was shaking so hard. There were so many of them - or at least it felt like it, it might have only been three or four, but enough to..." He moved his paw, tracing a circle in the water as he let the sentence hang until its missing end drifted away. "Zale wouldn't back down. He'd always been so protective over me, and with our parents gone, he just... he wanted us both to survive, so much."
He raised his eyes, glancing at her before looking down again. Angel slid her paw towards him, resting it on his. The contact made her shiver, but she kept her hold firm, trying to coax him with her gaze to continue.
"We joined them, Angel." Buried beneath the brush of the wind and the flow of the ocean, his quiet voice was hard to extract, but Angel's ears caught every one. She jerked backwards in surprise, her paw skidding away from his. If possible, he hunched lower.
"You joined them?" she whispered. Morgan was the most loyal wolf she knew. But when faced with fear, she supposed anything was possible. She remembered her own choice, only the other day, when trapped by the Shadewylves, and recalled how shamefully close to giving in she herself had been. Gently, she returned her paw to rest on his.
"You had no choice," she said, affirmed truth hardening the statement. His nod was slight, but it was there, along with his deep exhale.
"Yes," he murmured. "But that didn't mean it wasn't wrong. But what was more wrong was leaving Zale with them."
"So you escaped?" she asked. He nodded, picking at the sand.
"I worked for them for three moons, I think. Simple things. I never learned any of their plans. Zale and me just hunted, or collected bedding, or whatever. One time I was left unsupervised for a bit, and I ran. Nothing too daring," he added with a dry laugh.
"But Zale is still there," she finished, feeling herself lean closer. Her side touched his. She flinched away, then moved back again, realising the sensation wasn't too bad. "Hey, you had no choice about that either," she whispered. "If you hadn't escaped, you wouldn't be with us right now. If you'd tried to bring Zale too, you might have gotten caught, and then who knows where you'd be. Dead, probably." It sounded harsher out loud than she'd meant it, but she hoped the certainty in her tone at least helped. From the look in Morgan's eyes, she was supposed to hate him for the story, but what she felt was far from dislike.
For a moment, he was silent. "Thanks," he said eventually. "It's just..." He squirmed beside her. She leaned closer. "I promised myself I'd never run away and leave anyone again. And then I left you. I broke my own stupid promise."
"I already told you, leaving me was the right thing to do," she told him, nudging his shoulder. "And leaving your brother was right too. He'll still be there, I'm sure, if he's the strong survivor he sounds like. And someday, when this is all over, you'll see him again."
"That depends on us winning," he said quietly. She'd never heard his voice so devoid of hope.
"Hey." Grabbing his shoulder with her paw, she whipped him around to face her. "We will win. You hear me? We'll win, because we'll stick together. No more splitting up. No more running, from either of us. We'll fight together, all of us, and we'll beat those Luna-damned Shadewylves." A fierceness burst from her heart and poured into her muscles as she grasped his paw, so tightly he couldn't even try to pull away. "And if it's the last thing I do, I'll help you save your brother."
They remained like that for several long seconds. She kept hold of his gaze. She didn't move a single claw, and neither did he.
Gradually, she felt his neck tense, saw his head lean forward. The gold in his eyes burned as bright as the absent sun. She stared back with the same ferocity, claws still curled unwaveringly around his paw.
They were close, far closer than she should have liked. The beach was empty, yet here they sat, pressed together. But she didn't mind it. If anything, she almost liked it.
His snout bent closer. A frown creased her snout, but still she didn't move. She would let him come as close as she liked. But was there really need for their eyes to be this short distance from each other? She could notice every movement his pupil made. She could see the flecks of deepest brown that intertwined with the dominant gold in his irises.
His nose touched hers, and she stopped thinking at all.
Describing everything that zapped through her in that moment was next to impossible. All she knew was that when he pulled away, she wasn't ready for it all to end. So she darted forward and met his nose again.
When they finally pulled apart, both shifting away from each other for equally necessary recovery, the air felt ten times colder, enough to make her fur stand on end. And yet there was a new warmth there, deeper and more intense than anything natural, that made her embrace that cold and want it to envelope her for the rest of her life.
Tentatively, she met his gaze. Her breathing was slight, her movements cautious. Had that been wrong? Did he expect anything else of her? Then a smile broke out on his snout, and she knew everything was right.
"Thank you," she muttered, jaw barely parting. Thank you? Was that what you said after... a ritual like that?
He laughed, and it was such a genuine sound that she found her own smile widening. "You are quite welcome," he replied, eyes twinkling like the stars above.
She realised she was still holding his paw, and gently released her grip, sliding her paw back to rest by her chest. Her head dipped. "We should, uh, probably prepare for tonight."
"Yeah, we should." He rose and cast the sea another glance. His tail was lifted now, curving upwards in a graceful wave-like arc. She followed him, though the ground didn't feel quite steady when she pushed her paws against it. Perhaps something like rock would have benefitted her more than soft sand.
"I'll see you tonight, then," he added.
Her nod felt too decisive. "Yeah." Wings twitching, she took a slow step backwards. "I'll be watching from the sky."
Her paws moved more rapidly, beginning a steady pace. The unnatural warmth cloaking Angel held was starting to disintegrate, and part of her wanted to rush back towards him to regain it. But she kept walking away, though she kept him in the corner of her eye.
The breeze had picked up, and it twirled in her ears, filling them with a constant ruffle of noise. Yet she still caught Morgan's call from behind her. The words zipped through the air and pierced her, a perfectly precise throw of a dart.
"We'll fight together this time."
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