33 - Home

Beneath the dust and rock of Nefaris Cave, Angel knew she'd resigned herself to death. She and Fiammetta had scanned every crack in the stone, every bend in the bars, every drop of moisture. They'd tracked the guards' changing pattern. Everywhere they searched for weaknesses, yet they had found none.

Escape once had been a Toivo-induced miracle. Escape again, with Toivo now lost to the dark that had claimed them all, escape was impossible.

That time in the cave, when all four of the imprisoned Twilytra finally concluded amongst themselves that they were doomed to live out their final hours deep below the surface, they had begun exchanging stories. When Thea and Briar joined. The time when Alvis and Fiammetta had shared a not-so-secret kiss beneath the Sylfen moon. Memories of laughter, and joy, and togetherness. Until their capacity for positivity ran out and they fell into silent, lonely slumps.

Angel had trekked through every aspect of her life she could bring herself to recall then. All the decisions she could have made differently, or the actions that might have served her better. Perhaps if she'd taken a few more thoughtful steps, or stood up to life's challenges, she wouldn't have been there at that moment. Her life might have had a longer expectancy than the next day.

And then the tool had dropped from the wall.

It landed at the tip of her tail, making her wince and jolt upright. A different tool to the metal one Toivo had given her - wooden, and warmer, like ashes still touched with heat - but she sensed the same magic all the same. That was when the oddity had begun. In that single moment, her situation went from certain death to bright hope. Perhaps escape wasn't quite so impossible after all.

She hadn't even cast a thought to who the mysterious ally that had diposited the tool could be. Her actions had been automatic. To dig careful tunnels, connecting each of the four cells, allowing Katana to reach for Thea's cell before returning the tool as discretely as possible. Then they were all crawling out beside a small, nervous Flamewylf, who looked half frozen in terror, but promised them freedom regardless and accompanied them as they slipped into the rock.

When she wasn't alone, the confinement hadn't seemed quite as bad for Angel. Before she knew it, they were out, and then they were running, a few larger Flamewylves circling them.

The scared Flamewylf had asked her where Thirty-Four was. She told him what she knew: that Toivo was now a part of the force they escaped from, and nothing could be done to change it. He'd grown quiet and asked nothing more.

The sprint had been easy. So had the hiding, and the waiting. Angel and the other Twilytra exchanged words of dazed exhileration, still unsure whether they were dreaming, or even died altogether. It wasn't right. Her body was ready to die, yet here she was, under her very own sky, living perfectly well once more. The Flamewylves had even let them share a hunted deer.

Save the one who had asked after Toivo, the atmosphere amongst them had been somewhat breezy. Angel knew that these wolves must be the Wylfire, but under the disguise of mysterious, helpful loners, the Twilytra were under no threat from them, and they got along just fine. Even when the rest of their fighters returned, a little more scraped and bashed, everyone seemed in reasonably high spirits. The Shadewylves hadn't followed.

They were safe. It felt like the first time in an age that Angel had felt safe.

Until they saw Lexi.

Even now, nearly an hour afterward, the sight of Lexi staggering into view was burned into Angel's mind. Her snout had been marked with tearstains, and her eyes wide, unfocused, still staring at something long since passed behind her. She was far from the Thunderwylf that had stood over a small Peltless, facing up to Angel the first time they'd met, firmly denying anyone who dared to hurt him.

Bending her head to peer through the crowd of Flamewylves, Angel locked onto Lexi's form. Though she had regained the purpose in her step, she still stared straight ahead, the tip of her golden tail tracing a line in the dirt. Another Thunderwylf and the nervous Flamewylf who had rescued the Twilytra trailed her, occasionally exchanging a word or so, but mostly they walked in silence.

The whole group was masked by that same eerie silence. It was as if a cloud hung over them, drifting overhead as they travelled, continuously casting them in shadow. Though sunlight sparked beyond it, it was hard to grasp for, even when the air should have crackled with the warmth of freedom.

They'd been moving ever since Lexi arrived, albeit slowly. Part of Angel wished they'd pick up the pace and hurry through the woods, so she could return to town and finally see Morgan and Dawn again. And Alvis. Everything familiar lay ahead. But she knew that thought was selfish, especially after all these wolves had been through to release her and the other Twilytra from the prison, and so she kept it to herself.

In the absence of idle talk, her mind settled on Toivo, as it had time and time again. Every glance over at Lexi brought a surge of fiery anger she instantly forced herself to calm with the image of his determined blue eyes.

Of course she was furious with him. They all were. Seeing Lexi as distraught as that reminded her of the anger she felt towards Toivo's betrayal. A vague hope of some scrap of good intention he held would never prevent that, but it at least stopped her from seething quite as much as Fiammetta and Katana were.

Her eyes landed on Lexi's golden coat again. Something tugged her heart, and before she knew it she was breaking away from the other Twilytra, weaving through the crowd.

Her paws were a mere few steps away before she forced herself to stop, ducking behind a tall Flamewylf before Lexi could notice her movement. What could she say? Words were hardly Angel's strong point. When it came to sensitive topics like these, she simply didn't know what to say. How do you comfort a pup who's been betrayed by her best friend? Possibly even partner, but Angel didn't want to make any drastic assumptions.

Her wings fluttered at her sides as she slowed her step further, then quickened it as she began to fall back. She had to say something. It felt wrong to leave Lexi alone like this. Grasping for a string of vaguely comforting words, she steeled herself and bounded the final stretch of distance to Lexi.

As Angel slid in beside her, Lexi didn't turn around, but her ears twitched in acknowledgement of the movement. Wings still shifting, Angel pushed her assortment of words to the front of her mind. Her tongue seemed to teeter at the edge of her jaw, ducking behind her fangs, afraid that if the wrong sound fell from it that Lexi's shoulders would only tense further.

"Hey." A reasonable greeting, and one that sounded suitably casual. If only the greeting was all there was to it. But Angel allowed herself only a second's pause before flinging another set of words into the space between them. "You doing okay?"

Lexi's head whipped around. Her gaze, as hard and dark as shaded tree bark, made Angel flinch. "Do you want me to say yes?"

Sliding her fangs together, Angel dipped her head in apology. She wasn't here for an argument. She couldn't let herself be swept into one. "Well, yes. I want you to be okay. But it's not the answer I'm expecting," she added hurriedly with a twitch of a smile.

A gentle sigh drifted from Lexi's snout. Her pace had decreased ever so slightly, sending her edging towards the back of the crowd, but Angel did her best to match her step. "Your expectations are correct, I guess."

A faint recollection entered Angel's mind, one of Morgan touching their shoulders together when she was upset. Leaning sideways, she nudged Lexi's side, mirroring his action. "Sometimes it helps to talk," she offered. Too often had she released a pit of senseless words in Dawn's solitary company. When they'd been lodged in her throat for so long around others, letting them out did lift a weight.

"Sometimes it does." Lexi's head straightened again, her eyes settling on the sky. "It depends whether your feelings can be ordered into words."

"Maybe that's the problem," Angel tried, treading carefully, each syllable a nervous experiment. "When the feelings are wordless like that, it makes them so much harder to deal with. Words are just--"

"But you didn't come over here to talk about words," Lexi said, slicing through Angel's train of thought. Hesitantly, she nodded.

"No." A deep breath. "I know this is about Toivo."

Lexi might have laughed dryly, but it could easily have been a low sob.

"He came to the prisons," Angel continued, keeping her stare fixed on the side of Lexi's head. "He told me he wants to fix this fighting and prove that Shadewylves can be... not bad."

Though Lexi remained in stiff silence, Angel was sure she noticed one golden ear prick upright momentarily.

"I know it isn't right," she added, the words somehow at a reasonable flow, "but it's a choice he's made. But it doesn't mean he's a bad wolf. Yes, this seems like a bad decision, but it might work out well in the long run. You know his heart, right?"

A faint smile, one that didn't reach her snout but flickered in Lexi's eyes, came in reply. "All too well."

"Then you'll know it's the truest and kindest of hearts." Angel nudged Lexi's side again. "Have faith."

She let a beat of silence fall, and then pulled away. There was nothing more that needed to be said. Her eyes lingered on Lexi's expression, half hidden but clear enough. Perhaps the slight relaxation in her shoulders and the glimmer in her eyes were of Angel's imagination, but she hoped not. It would be nice to have helped someone like this for once.

"Hey, Airewylf."

The voice pierced Angel's circle of swirling thoughts, nearly jolting her out of her skin. Trying for a casual posture, she turned her head slowly, briefly forgetting to keep walking. The feel of a body reaching her tail spurred her forward again.

A large Flamewylf had appeared beside her, his fiery eyes fixed on her coat. She ducked under his gaze, trying to remember if this wolf had introduced himself earlier. Was he the Wylfire leader, or was she mistaking him for another burly orange-coloured wolf? They all seemed to be blurring into one.

"Yes?" she settled with, doing her best to shape the question with politeness.

"That's yes, Sergeant," he said stiffly, though there wasn't a great deal of sharpness to the words. Just a subconcious comment of someone used to authority. So he was the leader. Inwardly, Angel smiled to herself, somewhat proud her guess had proved correct.

"Sorry, Sergeant," she replied, bowing her head momentarily. "Do you... require me for something?" She swapped need for require at the last second. It sounded odd in her voice, but it did hold the note of respect she was searching for. Not that she wanted to give it - both her parents and the Twilytra had taught her to despise the Wylfire - but revealing her true feelings would do none of them any good. Appealing to his better nature was irritating, but necessary.

"You're an Airewylf," he stated. She bit back the urge to interject with wow, how perceptive of you to notice, and merely nodded her agreement. "If your wings are in working order, I would like you to fly ahead to Borealton and notify the Wylfire members waiting there of our position." He paused, and then added, "Are you capable of such a task? I know you loners prefer--"

"I'm perfectly capable, yes," she snapped before she could stop herself. She managed to refraid from using her harshest tone, but it was enough for the Sergeant to take the hint. His gaze hardened in a flash of warning.

"Thank you. Go on."

He pulled away into the crowd, leaving Angel alone near the back of the group. Once he'd travelled a reasonable distance from her, she shot a glare his way. Whether she was Twilytra or loner, he had no power over her. He or his Wylfire never had. Perhaps they'd been helpful today, perhaps they'd even given her freedom, but she couldn't let this one good act overshadow how they'd acted over the years. She could be grateful but still remember to hate them.

Still, his idea - not order, idea - wasn't a bad one, and she was perfectly content to carry it out. In her own time, however. She returned to the side of Fiammetta first and informed her of the decision, then found Thea and Katana and bid them both goodbye for now as well, before finally spreading her wings and soaring over the mass of travelling wolves.

The moment she was in the air, all annoyance for the Wylfire fell away, cast downwards by the rush of wind. She was flying again. It felt like an eternity since her wings had ridden that breeze, or her strands of fur had curled upright, basking under the rays of sunlight. The sky was Angel's once more.

There was no need to trace a loop in the air, or shout her excitement. She simply let her eyes slide closed, leaving her other senses to trace a straight path, her wings twitching to adjust her course. A blanket of calm wrapped around her, softly weaving around every limb.

When she eventually opened her eyes again, the patches of forest beneath her had grown more familiar. Her days in the cave hadn't weakened her sense of direction, thankfully. The pines were now interspersed with shorter, squatter trees, with broad leaves that caught the sun's light in flashes of brilliant emerald.

She curved in the sky, scanning for any particular landmarks to indicate quite how close to town she was. Her eyes strayed briefly to the sun, now past its midday position and sloping through the western sky, before she glanced to the land to her left.

Her wings nearly stopped beating.

Hurriedly recovering her flight, she slowed to almost a hover, staring at the circle of trees. Her heart twisted. Without meaning to, she dropped in the sky, running her fangs along one another, telling herself again and again to simply turn away and continue with her task.

But she couldn't. It had been moons since she visited this place. Though a thousand thoughts begged her to leave it behind, her heart grew heavy, and she knew she could drag its weight no further.

As she sank through the sky, a leaf drifting inevitabily to the earth, more came into view. The three broad oaks, in a near-perfect line. The clearing beside them, still marked with a few rough stumps. The hut hidden under their boughs, built of those missing trees.

Her paws touched the grass gently. She felt as if she were caught in a dream, still floating in the air, though she knew it was dirt she tred as she moved towards the hut. It was even more worn than it had been since she'd last laid eyes on it, sagging on its foundations, rot eating up its once carefully-carved walls. The empty doorway was a dark abyss, calling to Angel's very soul.

Come home, it whispered.

But this wasn't home any longer.

Her paws reached the doorway sooner than she would have liked, but still she kept moving. There was no stopping an action her heart had already set in place. Cautiously, she rested a paw at the edge of the opening, then slid it through, letting her claws touch smooth wood beyond.

A memory flashed in the back of her mind. Her own voice, pitched higher, calling softly for her mother and father. A shout. A scrape. And a creature lunging from the darkness.

It made Angel flinch even now, though she knew there was nothing there. Her eyes still shaped the dark coat, and the bloodthirsty eyes, spawned from particles of shadow. The phantom sting of claws touched her shoulders.

It was her mother who had appeared then, before the dark beast could fully take hold. Angel saw her pale fur intertwined with black as they tackled one another, tumbling into the corner. The call for her to find her father tore through the air, shivering with the wind.

But Angel hadn't been able to move quick enough. Before she could turn, another dark wolf had leapt from the shadows of the house. Then it had become a race.

Spinning on her paws, Angel followed her past self's movements, though at a much slower pace than she remembered making them. Claws had missed her by the barest amount, and she'd run, wings outspread, her mother's order channelled into her sprint. It was up to her to find her father.

He had seen her first, however. The image of him descending from the sky, a blur of dust-coloured wings to stand beside her, streaked before her. Angel whirled around to face the Shadewylf just as she felt the thump of her father landing. Her heart hammered. The flow of the battle that had followed tingled in her muscles.

But still they could not win. A third Shadewylf had leapt on her father. For a brief moment, he seemed to fight it off easily, but then it rose again and every hope had shattered.

They had one second. One short, flash of a second, but every inch of that strip of time haunted the back of Angel's mind always. How a life could begin, or end, or change direction entirely in such a brief moment.

Her father's bright eyes shone clearly before Angel. He spoke nothing, but that second contained a thousand words.

Time and time again, since before Angel could remember, he had told her that fear was an enemy's greatest weapon. To survive out here, out in the wild, a wolf had to stand strong against it. In the midst of a battle, fear's tug could topple a warrior. To slip from its grip took great strength, but once free, victory was certain.

Yet that single look sent all of the hope that advice gave crashing to darkness.

Both of them were entrapped by fear, its noose latched around their necks. They could stand strong and fight, but in the end, this battle would not be theirs. Despite their resistance, fear would claim them, and they would fall.

Yet there was another flicker in her father's eyes, one hidden beneath the knowledge of their fate, that spoke of a daring hope. Only one of them could escape, but not by slipping free of fear. By letting it drag them away.

In that second, he granted her permission to do just that. And she obeyed. She ran.

With the memory of her sprint pulsing in Angel's heart, she felt the past disintergrate, falling away with every beat until it vanished entirely and the present returned. She sucked in a deep breath. Her forepaws had begun trembling.

"I'm sorry, father," she whispered to the empty forest, ears folded.

Deep down, she knew her father didn't want the apology. He had wanted her to carry on surviving, even if it meant the destruction of his own survival. But she gave it anyway.

She bowed her head. Both her parents had died that day. She had returned several days later, with Dawn by her side, to find their bodies. Her mother's in the house's doorway, wrapped around the body of the Shadewylf she had fought to save her daughter's life. Her father's right here, on this spot, in the same place he'd made his last stand.

She had wept then. Dawn had helped her bury them, and whispered words to calm her guilty heart, but still she had left here in tears. But she was determined not to cry today. Her father had called tears futile, a show of weakness. She wasn't weak anymore.

With one last glance to the house, once her home, now a ruin of a shrine to what had occured that life-shattering day, Angel spread her wings and lifted her paws from the earth. As she became airborne once more, she let the guilt fall from her heart and sink to the ground. What had happened that day had been inevitable. She would always hold a piece of regret for its events, a vague question of what if, but she couldn't lock it away in guilt. Her time with the Twilytra had shown her that.

I hope you're proud of me, father. She trained her gaze on the blue sky. I'm stronger now. I even fought Shadewylf fear itself. Though she recieved no reply, the warmth in her soul told her he had listened.

She beat her wings, flying faster, direction shaped by new determination. Her old home was behind her. Another one lay ahead, the one where her heart had truly found belonging, and with it would come a new battle. But this time, she wouldn't have to be dragged away. This time, no-one would die.

This time, she would win.

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