16 - Helpless

It took Lexi far too long to join the fight.

For what felt like hours she crouched there, hidden in the undergrowth, trying and failing to force her limbs to carry her into the midst of the fray. Every step she took was countered by a hesitant shuffle back. Every time she looked up at them, her heart flowed with new fear.

What use would she be, anyway? She could barely fight. Her claws were short and stunted from hours of work in the lab. While Thirty-Four's father had always pushed him to practice using his natural weapons, her parents had always been content to allow her to choose that path, if she wished. Which she never had.

It seemed stupid now to think that making a change in the world wouldn't involve a battle.

The thoughts only pressed down on her, rooting her paws in place. The more the Twilytra struggled, the more guilty she felt, yet still the courage to step out of those trees escaped her grasp.

Her gaze flitted to the hut, now an island in a sea of snarling warriors. Usually, she would be so proud to have figured something out before it happened, but now she longed for time to reverse and her suspicions to be wrong. Predicting Briar's betrayal hadn't prevented it from happening.

Another sign of how helpless she was.

Ducking even lower, she let her eyes roam the battlefield. Fiammetta was still locked in combat with Jaser, sparks of flame deocrating the clearing as they clashed. Two Shadewylves were swiping at Thea, prevented from fully reaching her by the swarm of twigs and stones she pelted them with, her magic moving faster than Lexi had ever thought possible. At the edge of the trees, Dawn was fending off a further three - though she didn't seem to be fighting back, in all the time Lexi had watched she hadn't seen a single wolf land a hit on the Mystwylf.

When Angel was lifted from the ground, grasped by a black-winged Airewylf, she staggered even further backwards. Why would the Shadewylves want to recruit wolves of other Pelts? From the stories, she remembered them to be very loyal to Shadow, and only Shadow. Had time changed that?

She was sifting through her memories, searching for some mention in the war documents she'd read of wolves switching sides, when a sudden movement broke her concentration. A gasp escaped her as the brown blur sped past. Katana had come to fight.

As she leapt, tackling one of the Shadewylves edging towards Thea, her newly-sealed scars glinted in the risen sun. She'd barely recovered from her last fight with the black wolves, and already she was throwing herself into another one. 

Guilt twisted Lexi's heart. Steeling her paws for what was probably the tenth time, she prepared again to run out of the woods. Just like before, her forepaws barely twitched before settling back, shrinking away from the snarling fangs of Katana's opponent.

No. Stop. Shaking her head, she tensed again. The sound of her father's voice floated to the surface, whispering to a five-moon-old Peltless as she hesitated before a street full of playing pups. Take a deep breath, and just do it. Don't think. Don't consider what could go wrong. Go out there and hold your head up high, and no-one can ever fault you.

She drew her shoulders back. She lifted her snout up. Her eyes rested on Katana: not a spec of fear in her eyes as she struck out at a second wolf, not a wince of pain as claws met her flank, not even a limp in her weakened legs. That was bravery. That was heroism.

That was who Lexi desperately wanted to be.

With the echo of her father still ringing in her ears, she took a deep breath and leaped.

The action only took her a few pawsteps, but even then she kept running, the pound of her paws muffled by her thumping heart. She let the lightning she kept hidden inside spring to the surface, making her golden fur tingle with energy. Even the tiny lapse of the tight control she held over the power set her on edge, but still she kept pushing forwards.

Just do it. Don't think.

She pounced, paws leaving the ground and colliding with thick black fur. Electric charges jumped from her paws and crackled at her claws as she dug in. A growl reverberated from the Shadewylf's chest. Fangs snapped at her snout and claws nicked her chest, and she did her best to strike back. Yet every time she tried, she'd find her energy channelled into narrowly avoiding the Shadewylf's slashes. How could a wolf move so fast? Both causing and avoiding pain seemed impossible.

Lunging forward, she pushed her claw in the direction of his chest. It didn't even get close before she jerked it back, yelping as stinging pain sliced her snout in two. Or at least, it seemed to. She couldn't tell. All she knew was that she was losing this fight, and badly.

It was a mistake to think I could even try.

Another claw met her shoulder, and she felt the warm wetness flow down her paw. Tears blurred the world into an unfocused flurry of black as she fell backwards, a whimper lodging in her throat, once again helpless as the Shadewylf twisted her paw and pinned her amongst the dirt.

The pain felt somehow more acute than it had with Deimos. Then, everything had been clouded with a crushing fear. This time, she'd actually though she had a chance.

And there was no Toivo out here to save her.

Yet she barely got a chance to offer him a prayer when the black was suddenly whisked away by another shape. Blinking hard, she cleared her watery eyes enough to catch a sight of her saviour.

A small brown wolf was now grappling with the Shadewylf. The blood that patched her fur seemed nothing more than decoration as she gave an almighty shove, sending Lexi's attacker staggering backwards.

Katana glanced back at her briefly. "Get out of here."

In a flash, she vanished into the sea of black.

Shaking, Lexi pushed herself to her paws, and turned to flee the battlefield. Katana was right. This wasn't her place. But escape wasn't that easy. Another Shadewylf was sprinting from the shadows, heading straight for her.

There was no way she could run from him. He'd be too quick. Maybe the fighting wasn't over just yet. Trying to ignore the way her shoulder throbbed, she leapt towards him, hoping the movement would hold enough surprise to give her an advantage.

She only realised her mistake when she was already sailing through the air.

They collided, her momentum sending them tumbling back towards the trees, neither of them striking out. It was only when they collapsed in a heap did he find the breath to squeak his protest.

"Lexi! I was coming to save you!"

They squirmed away from each other. Laughter danced in his blue eyes despite his breathless irritation. Lexi rolled over and somehow managed to stand again, her own giggles diguised by her panting.

"Sorry, Toivo."

He shook out his fur, his eyes slipping from her and to the battle. "Katana got there before I could," he added with a smile. It quickly faded as his gaze locked onto a spot amongst the fighting. Turning, Lexi saw a tiring Thea, her haze of magic less precise as a trio of wolves now slipped ever closer.

She didn't even have a chance to glance at Toivo before he was shooting forward again. She only caught a glimpse of his eyes as he glanced back, a shout of "Stay here!" drifting from his disappearing form, before he turned to lock his claws into the larger of the three Shadewylves. For a moment, Thea hesitated, before nodding and directing her magic on the other two.

That brief glimpse was enough. Lexi could see the determination rooted within his deep blue eyes. It was the same expression he'd worn when fighting Deimos - and the same look in his eyes she'd seen every time he spoke about his father.

The guilt stabbed even deeper into her heart as she watched him tackle the bigger wolf, struggling, until a flick of Thea's magic landed a blow with a ripped out tree root and Toivo was finally able to claim victory. She knew that if she were like the heroes in the stories they'd told, she would be with him now, and they would fight side by side. But she wasn't. She was a scientist with almost no experience of battle and a throbbing shoulder that was steadily losing blood.

She ducked under the branches of a tree and hid there to watch. Her prayers grew more and more desperate as the Twilytra's defence gradually crumbled. More than once she thought of running out to join them, but each time she dismissed it - this time for a reason other than fear. Now, she realised that her father was wrong. 

Perhaps a group of Peltless couldn't find fault in her false confidence, but the Shadewylves did. She saw it in the way they fought. They'd been trained to pick out every weakness and exploit it until their opponent succumbed to it.

If she went out there, all she would do was distract the real warriors from their own fight.

It both amazed and unsettled her how much of a real warrior Toivo seemed. Of course, all his life he'd unwillingly trained, but never had he put any effort into actually learning the techniques. The Peltless she'd grown up with had always seemed to shy away from fighting, and hate any that forced it on him. The idea that his Pelt had changed that made an unwelcome uneasiness slither down her spine.

She shook herself. Of course not. She was being silly. Toivo was just doing his best, like he always had. His best had just got a little better. That was all.

As she tore her gaze from him, her eyes roaming the faltering battles, she shivered with a different kind of anxiety.

Jaser finally brought Fiammetta down, her fire exhausted. Katana kept throwing herself into the throng until her body gave in, collapsing beneath the weight of a muscled Shadewylf. Thea's attackers broke through her crumbling wall of magic and forced her to the floor. Lexi saw Angel's shredded wing, and Morgan shoot from the battlefield before the Airewylf also fell.

In the end, it was only Toivo left, defending Dawn from five snarling wolves.

Leaving one of the others to guard Fiammetta, Jaser rose, approaching Toivo in a slow, confident stride. His eyes glimmered, identical in colour to the blood that now streaked Lexi's right forepaw. Though Toivo's back faced her, from the way his snout stretched towards the Shadewylf general she could sense his returning glare.

"Our little traitor," Jaser said slowly, his voice just as sharp as the glow of his eyes. "I thought we might run into you at some point, but I never expected it to be this soon. What a treat. My fellow generals back at Nefaris will be thrilled!"

"You'll have to get me there first," Toivo growled back, his hind legs already tensing. Before he could throw himself at the general, however, Dawn leaned forward and whispered something in his ear. With a reluctant nod, he stayed put.

"How did you know about me, anyway?" he added, his tone softer. Creeping forward, Lexi strained her ears to hear Jaser's response while staying crouched behind a drooping branch.

The effort was unnecessary. His words rang loud and clear throughout the forest. "We have our ways, young traitor. Our spies," he said again, with a pointed look at Fiammetta squirming beside his swishing tail, "our everywhere."

Toivo laughed. The very sound chased away Lexi's dread. "You sound just like a villain in a story."

"Do I now?" came the hissing reply, cutting off the laugh abruptly as their snouts met. "Is that why you think you're the little hero who can save the world?"

"Maybe I am," Toivo replied. His head tilted upwards, and she willed his confident facade to hold out. Even if she could see the uncertainty wavering beneath, it didn't mean Jaser would.

Jaser raised his head too, lifting his shoulders and straightening his paws so that Toivo's snout aligned with the base of his neck. He sneered down at the smaller wolf. "How so? Villains can't be heroes. If you're such an expert on these stories you speak of, you should know that."

"But I'm not a villain." The waver crept into Toivo's tone. Lexi's heart thundered as she prayed. No, you're not. You're my best friend. Don't listen to him. He doesn't know you.

"That's where you're mistaken." Jaser's eyes sparked with delight. He knew he was winning, and Lexi hated it. "You think that black in your fur means nothing? I'm sure you've felt it. The urge to fight."

Toivo fell into silence.

"Only we understand it, traitor." He gestured around him - at the Shadewylves flanking either side. "All of us feel it. The rest of the world may call that urge evil. But we call it power."

Lexi wished more than ever that she could meet his eyes, or whisper words into his mind. She wanted - she needed - to tell him no. That whatever he felt, if he even felt it at all and it wasn't something conjured by a fearful mind, wouldn't consume him. It couldn't. What mattered was the wolf at his heart.

"Let us teach you-"

Lexi, can you hear me?

Her concentration snapping from the verbal war, Lexi staggered backwards, sinking her claws into the dirt to stop herself from rustling the leaves. A voice resonated throughout her mind, shaking every cell, as if it were speaking from within her. Like one of her thoughts... except it wasn't hers. Fighting to keep back her gasps, she closed her eyes, trying to focus.

That sounded like Dawn's voice. Mystwylves can read minds. Calm down, Lexi, it's ok.

That's right.

She was more prepared for the sound that time, but her heart still skipped a beat. Swallowing, she concentrated, trying to grasp at the voice with her mind.

Hi, Dawn.

A chuckle echoed in response. Hello. Now, listen carefully, and do exactly as I say.

Breathing deeply, Lexi nodded, before realising that Dawn was still facing the Shadewylves. Ok.

When I tell you to, I want you to run out of the trees and touch me. It does not matter how or where, as long as you don't let go. Dawn must have sensed her ripples of confusion, because she countered with a strange feeling of reassurance, as if she had just placed a paw gently on Lexi's shoulder. Trust me.

Lexi wasn't quite ready to entirely trust Dawn, not just yet. But she at least trusted her enough to know that she was a much better option than the Shadewylves or the Wylfire. The Twilytra had been there for them when no other wolf could be, and while their motives still felt a little unclear, she knew that she was immensly grateful.

With another nod, she braced herself. Alright. I'm ready.

Looking up, she heard Jaser snap, "Don't lie to me!" As she studied him and Toivo, she saw just how heated their conversation had grown during her exchange with Dawn. "You even lie to yourself," he added in a lower growl.

Now!

Lexi raced out from under the tree, disregarding the ache in her shoulder as she bolted towards Dawn and wrapped her claws around one purple paw. Somewhere above, Jaser called his comrades to attention. She heard paws thump forwards, but with her orders still echoing in her ears she clung on tightly. Whatever this plan is, it better work soon.

There was a flash of black closer by as Toivo whipped around and lunged towards them. Take a deep breath, Dawn whispered. Lexi took in a gulp of air.

Jaser leaped forwards. She grabbed tighter. Something tugged at her chest, something unnatural, something that tingled her very insides.

Then there was a flash, and everything imploded.

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