The first day of crossing the desert in the jeep was blissfully uneventful. The roar of the engine scared away the coyotes and other loitering predators and no fouls lingered in the open fields. Wooyoung tested the stability and vibration of the open car window on his rifle for a while, learning how to aim and hold it so no bump would ruin his shot. The scope was magnificent, allowing him to spy on the smallest dangers from a great distance. When he praised Jongho for his work, Mingi demanded a demonstration. They had to stop the car for a few minutes to find the salamander Wooyoung shot, but once they discovered it, he rolled his shoulders in pride. Yunho's grin was just as broad, and San looked impressed as he poked a stick at the splatter of blood.

After scouting out their direction, they drove for a few hours longer and called it a day near some lonesome rocks. Mingi hauled the heavy fuel canister from the trunk of the car and filled up their tank while Seonghwa, by their side, merrily chirped about generators to Jongho. They carried a smaller one to keep Seonghwa's battery charged at all times. If the computer died, he wouldn't vanish, but they wouldn't be able to access him until it gained fresh energy.

The science was complicated, but Jongho assured them he had it under control. He spent enough time around Seonghwa to communicate those needs on time. 

After making a fire - confident now that they were so many people to watch out - they roasted some meat and canned vegetables. The mood of their round was surprisingly amiable, but maybe that was the hunger. So long as everyone's mouths were occupied, no one made tense comments.

San was less shy about exposing himself to the others by now. The rashes over his chin and the corner of his lips were subtle enough to be brushed off as regular scars, especially in the dancing flames. Wooyoung was sure Seonghwa heard what San went through. As for the rest, the raider preferred to angle his head away and sink into the shadow of his hair. Wooyoung would deny how enraptured he was whenever he saw him eat. How pouty those lips looked.

Yunho's knee bumped into Wooyoung's on accident and he ripped his gaze from San's mouth. They muttered their apologies at the same time and scooted so they wouldn't touch anymore. As soon as Wooyoung settled, he realized how uncommon that reaction was between them. Yunho fixed it by leaning his knee back into his, keeping them connected.

Wooyoung was oddly tense under the touch. 

"One of us should sleep in the car with Seonghwa for an extra line of defense," Mingi suggested in his gravelly noise. He had leaned back against the rock and smoked a cigarette while the tilted brim of his hat shadowed his face. His long limbs were sprawled out at ease, uncaring of the fidgeting raiders.

"Me, I can do that! No problem," Jongho offered himself, shattering Wooyoung's hope for a sneaky getaway. There was no reason to argue, so the others left it. San wrapped his bandages anew once he was finished with his meal. Yunho's slender fingers drew mindless circles into the sand before him.

"Then we will curl up here," Mingi nodded his approval. Seonghwa warned them of the temperatures as if any of them could work with a number and bid them a good night. Once Jongho carried him off and crawled into the car, the others spread out their various scarves and coats as sleeping mats. Wooyoung kept glancing at Mingi, concerned with his opinions, but he didn't give a damn about them. Soon, he turned his back to the fire and settled his hat atop his face to block out light and noise.

Helpless, Wooyoung sat between Yunho and San. The tension in the air was suffocating and Wooyoung would have preferred a bunch of fouls attacking to this.

Without another comment, San laid down next. He rested his head on his crossed arms and looked up into the smog as if contemplating what it hid. His gun rested on his stomach and rose and sank with every breath. 

"Come here, Woo," Yunho whispered and Wooyoung licked his dry lips when he turned. As usual, in the past years, Yunho spread out their jackets to accommodate two people and patted the soft spot by his side. 

For the first time, Wooyoung hesitated at the invitation. These were the precious minutes in the evenings when they would lie down to catch a break and let the relief settle that they survived another day. The fleeting moments they could indulge in kisses and in words of reassurance. 

Yunho regarded him with that same expression, so open and vulnerable. Though his heart stung, Wooyoung couldn't refuse him. 

When he crawled into Yunho's arm, it felt right. Sleeping atop San had been an unexplored experience. He had smelled sweeter than Yunho, the ever-present bandages itched on Wooyoung's skin and his body was much heavier and broader. With Yunho, they arranged themselves automatically and Wooyoung's head thudded onto the soft ground. He sighed in bliss. As long as his eyes were shut, he could pretend everything was fine.

"Are you warm enough?" Yunho whispered in his ear. His arm settled over Wooyoung's waist, swathing him in that embrace both of them craved so much. While Wooyoung had ducked into San's side, Yunho slept alone in those tunnels, terrified to get buried and wide awake since he had no partner by his side.

He deserves this, Wooyoung kept reminding himself. Even if he knows, it's cruel to take it away from him.

"'m fine," Wooyoung uttered, ready to end this day without an incident. They made it out and everyone had been apprehensive about their success now that they left the familiar territory. Seonghwa was equally intrigued and worried about what was to come. They needed all the rest they could get.

"No nightmares while I am here," Yunho promised. He didn't kiss Wooyoung, understanding of his dilemma even if their hearts ached for each other. 

Wooyoung nodded, not opening his eyes again. San had offered taking the first guard and since they were so many people now, that meant most of them always got a full night of sleep to rotate the next day. Ready to doze off, Wooyoung ignored all thoughts about the length of Yunho's body behind him and how different it felt from San's, especially in this position.

When Yunho tugged his jacket over Wooyoung to swathe him in it, his brow quirked. He let it slide, but San didn't.

"Aren't you babying him?"

Wincing, Wooyoung bit his lip. So he had been watching. No wonder Yunho put on such a show getting Wooyoung cozy. He opened his eyes to their staredown over Wooyoung's head. San lay lax, but his brows had furrowed. A dark eye studied their nest.

"He's my lover," Yunho pointed out, sharper than his voice normally sounded. His arm around Wooyoung tightened as if to claim possession. 

"He can survive by himself. He did just fine the last few weeks," San assured him. Surprisingly, he didn't mention the role he played, but he didn't have to for Yunho to jump to conclusions. As if he naturally assumed Wooyoung's disloyalty, he didn't question how far he went with San. 

But Wooyoung had only done it out of grief. He never would leave Yunho otherwise. The assumption stung.

"Since we haven't seen each other in so long, it's natural I want to spoil him. Lots to catch up on," Yunho replied, cold yet sugary sweet towards San. He leaned to press a kiss to Wooyoung's cheek, but Wooyoung's hand shot out to stop him. Without pressure, it settled against his chest.

"Stop it," he muttered with a glance at Mingi. "Let's sleep."

He didn't like how they spoke to each other. With such distaste. As if equal jealousy veiled their judgment to work as a team.

Jongho was at peace in the car, deaf to the world as he protected Seonghwa. San didn't voice it, but the look in his eye was clear. If Wooyoung had enough of Yunho, he could roll away anytime. It almost challenged him to stand up for himself. He didn't want Wooyoung close and shut him out after the betrayal, but he had expectations. Somehow, having to meet them distressed Wooyoung enough that he felt feverishly hot in Yunho's arm. 

"Best keep an eye out. You make easy prey if you are distracted with your lover," San scoffed at Yunho when he kept hovering. Yunho glanced into the darkness and shrugged.

"We got each other, don't you worry your pretty bandaged head about it," Yunho bit back snidely. With a huff, Wooyoung shoved him off. He glared down his betrayed stare.

"Stop it, I said," Wooyoung gritted out between his teeth. "What are you doing?!"

San sat up and ruffled the sand from his hair. When he picked up his gun, Wooyoung stared after him.

"I'm going to scout out the area so you can talk in peace," he announced curtly. As he wandered into the night, a small part of Wooyoung was concerned whether something might attack him. But no, San knew how to fight. And the fouls didn't regard him as their enemy until prompted.

A hand on Wooyoung's chin turned his head. It was gentle, never grabbing at him in anger, but Yunho's brow was furrowed when he met Wooyoung's gaze. 

"Perhaps this is bothering me more than I assumed initially. Why are you taking his side? You barely know him."

"I'm not taking anyone's side, but you two picking a fight is ridiculous," Wooyoung hissed. Mingi didn't move, but it was impossible to tell if his eyes were open below that hat. "I don't have the patience for that shit. We agreed on a team mission, and that's not what you are doing here."

Yunho dropped his hand when Wooyoung sat up. For a tense moment, they considered each other. Wooyoung meant what he said. He would give up San to fix things with Yunho, but it would take time. The past wouldn't come back and if Yunho wanted to continue, he needed to accept that things changed with the accident.

"It was always us two against the world. Did you forget the past eight years? Do they have no importance to you?" The hurt in Yunho's voice dug into Wooyoung's chest like a blade to twist into his heart. He forced back the tears pricking at his eyes. Yunho didn't deserve to hurt. Especially not because of Wooyoung's mistakes.

"Of course they do," he choked out. "You are the most important person in my life, but we are in a different place now with different people. I hate how ugly our dynamic became. And I'm sorry for the part of it that is my fault, but... It's difficult loving you if you act like this."

Yunho pursed his lips and glanced away to the side. Tears shimmered in his eyes and Wooyoung's stomach dropped as he cursed himself for confessing those festering feelings. 

He kept making it worse.

"I'm sorry," Wooyoung whispered. He stretched out his hand, but Yunho shook his head. The wobble of his lips broke Wooyoung's heart. 

Whoever was in the wrong here, he hated that they hurt each other.

"I need... Some distance, please. It aches too much," Yunho begged. Instantly, Wooyoung retreated.

"Of course. I understand," he muttered mechanically. He didn't dare argue. Yunho was hurt for his own reasons and Wooyoung could also need some distance from this headache. If Yunho held his tongue in the future, perhaps they could figure it out, so it worked for everyone. Maybe Wooyoung would do best not to be close to either of them.

Shouldering his rifle, Wooyoung stood. He wouldn't be able to sleep with the fresh anxiety quelling in his chest, but he nodded at Yunho to lie down.

"Get some rest. I'm fine by myself."

Though upset, Yunho didn't demand them to sleep together. He turned away from Wooyoung, curling up around himself. His arms angled limply where they usually cradled Wooyoung.

Aching at the sight, Wooyoung ripped his gaze away. Their reunion should have brought delight, but instead, it spread suspicion and pain.

Disappointed in himself, Wooyoung trudged out into the desert. He found San seated on a flat rock far enough to be out of earshot from the camp, but still in sight. He didn't glance up when Wooyoung trudged closer.

"You can go sleep, I will take the watch," he muttered, not mentioning what transpired since it was so painfully clear.

"Go back and apologize to him. He is everything you have," San scolded him, but Wooyoung dropped onto the ground by his side. They stared into the bleak darkness together.

"He has to accept that things changed." Wooyoung frowned down on his lap. As much as he hated it, he also couldn't go back and lie to both himself and Yunho about his true feelings. If he would only deceive him, they were better off going back to being friends. 

San didn't reply. He also avoided talking it out, not giving insight on his feelings. Did he hate Wooyoung? Or had his interest only lasted while Wooyoung was easily accessible?

Sighing under his headache, Wooyoung leaned against his rifle as he and San guarded the camp together.

*****

This book will have 20 chapters by the way!