"I'm going to start saying shiitake mushrooms instead of shįt."

"Communism wasn't THAT bad."

"I'm like a reverse pregnant lady."

*two boys arguing*
Girl: "Ladies, you're both pretty. Can we go home now?"

"Would Goldfish be good on pizza?"

"Mason, there's a 49% chance that you're a crackhead."

"Why would you propose to the gay guy? He's married."

"Marriage is for the weak. I would rather have a bunch of dogs. They'll love me forever."

"We don't need a make out session in a haunted house."

"I knew a lesbian back in middle school who was allergic to M&M's."
•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•
Other than the bus, I hear some of this stuff in my math class. Our teacher actually told us that we're her most random class