Act V - Scene 1

Stage lights up. Narrator enters.

Narrator: A thousand years have passed and Lysander, Hermia, Demetrius and Helena have embarked on a journey to populate the new planet Acirema on the MS Titanic Sky. They are first class passengers, courtesy of their new found wealth by speculating in spaceship technology and one of the co-owners of the impressive spaceship vessel

Narrator exists - stage falls dark.

Act V - Scene 2

Stage lights up. Lysander, Hermia, Demetrius and Helena sitting at the table in an impressive ballroom.

Hermia: I'm having such a good time.

Lysander: Me too, but I can't wait to get to Acirema.

Demetrius: Me neither. I told the captain to order full speed. Let's see what our little bumblebee can manage.

Helena: It's so exciting. We should be there in just a few days.

A loud bang, than a vibration shakes the ship. Hermia falls off her chair.

Helena: What was that?

Lysander: OH. MY. GOD. We hit a meteor.

Demetrius: Not again. Those collisions are getting old.

Hermia: Let's run to the escape pods.

Demetrius: There won't be enough room for everyone. I hope they won't start with the 'women and children first' nonsense again. I don't want to drift out there in space.

Helena: This is a catastrophe. We'll gonna be sued and lose all our money. Since Earth has been surrounded constantly by volcanic clouds, we couldn't even take out insurance.

Lysander: Forget the rest of mankind. We need to get to the special emergency pod.

Hermia: Isn't that supposed to be reserved for the first family?

Demetrius: It's every couple for themselves. Let's go.

Lysander, Demetrius, Helena and Hermia run around the stage. A loud explosion. Stage fall dark

Act V - Scene 3

Helena and Hermia in an escape pod.

Helena: I can't believe the guys didn't make it - AGAIN. Maybe we should go back for them.

Hermia: Nah, let them drift around space for a while.

Helena: I'm hungry.

Hermia: I still have these chocolates that Lysander brought me back from the fairies. They are ancient but still really yummy.

Helena: Oh, they look good.

Hermia: You yawning. Maybe we should both get some rest.

Helena: Good idea. Let me just have a piece of that chocolate, too.

They fall asleep, just to be woken up by another explosion.

Helena: Oh, Hermia, I never knew how attractive you are.

Hermia: Not as cute as you. I think I'm in love with you.

Helena: Oh, look, the MS Titanic Sky. It evaporated in thin air.

Hermia: It's such a shame. She was a beautiful ship.

Helena: Should we go back for the guys? I really don't want to.

Hermia: Me neither. Who needs guys when we have us?

Helena: Yeah, us and the chocolates.

Hermia: Let's make out.

Stage falls dark.

Act V - Scene 4

Stage lights up. Demetrius and Lysander float in space.

Demetrius: You think the gals are coming for us?

Lysander: Who are you kidding? Hermia didn't come for me when the Titanic sank, so she won't come now.

Demetrius: We're fucked, man.

Lysander: Yeah. Crap. I always knew girls were trouble.

Demetrius: I'm starving. Got something to eat?

Lysander: Just those chocolates the fairies gave me but they are full of love potion.

Demetrius: They are a thousand years old. I'm sure the love potion is past its expiration date. Give me one.

Lysander: Here we go.

Demetrius: Have one, too.

They chew, than stare at each other.

Lysander: I'm kind of glad you're with me, man.

Demetrius: Yeah, let's hold hands until the girls come.

Lysander: Hopefully, they never will. I like being here with you.

Demetrius: Truthfully, me, too. Who needs them?

Lysander: Not me.

Stage falls dark.

Act V - Scene 5

Stage lights up. Oberon and Titania watch Lysander, Demetrius, Hermia and Helena on a satellite screen.

Oberon: Well, that didn't turn out the way we planned.

Titania: Oh, who cares? Main thing is they love each other.

Oberon: So, you don't want to interfere.

Titania: No, I'm tired of doing all the work and Cupid is taking all the credit. Let's just leave them. I'm sure our lovers will be alright.

Oberon: Okey dokey.

Titania: I want to go to bed and make out.

Oberon: As you wish, my queen. Like Puck used to say: So good night unto you all.

Stage falls dark