A.N// sorry this took so long :-(...
.
.
.
Kate's POV

I was awaken by soft taps on the window. I jolted up and looked to my side. It was Caitlyn. I unlocked her door so she could get in the car. Once she slid in the backseat, I passed her a blanket.

"Thanks," she said.

"Don't mention it," I replied. I didn't know why, but my slight hatred for her seemed to start to burn out. I didn't understand. She hadn't really done anything that benefitted me.

I turned over to tap Ashton, and he stirred a little in his sleep. I tapped him again.

"What?" he grumbled with his eyes closed.

"Caitlyn is back. We can go now," I said. He rolled over and opened up his eyes. He saw Caitlyn in the backseat, stretched across it with the blanket I gave her wrapped comfortably around her body.

"Kate, it's like four on the morning, can't we just stay here," he whined.

"If everyone is fine with it, sure. I just thought maybe you didn't want to sleep in the car," I explained.

No one answered though. Within minutes I could hear Ashton's quiet snores again, and when I turned around, Caitlyn was also asleep. I couldn't sleep though.

I unlocked my car door, and I opened it. I got out quickly. I left the door open a crack just in case it accidentally locked when I closed it. I knew Ashton would be mad if I started to tap on his window so I could get back into the car.

I walked around the car a few times to take in the fresh air, and when I was done, I walked into the hospital to find a bathroom. As soon as I stepped into the place, my thoughts immediately went to Luke. I couldn't shake them, and it was crippling me.

I was tempted to go to his room, just to check on him, but I didn't. I was at a never ending debate between my head and my heart, and I wasn't intimately sure which one was winning.

I used the bathroom, and I exited the hospital. I went back to the car, and I slipped in quietly. I pulled the blanket over my body, and I just laid there until sleep finally came upon me.
.
.
.
An alarm going of woke me up. I shut if off, and I made my chair rise up to a sitting position. I looked around to fine that it was light outside, and Ashton was still asleep.

I turned around to find Caitlyn already awake. She was on her phone.

"Morning," I said sleepily. "Why are you awake so early?"

"Good morning, Kate. My phone woke me up, same as you, but I got a text from Luke instead of an alarm," she responded nonchalantly.

My stomach flipped, and my cheeks started to heat up. My hatred was starting to grow back by the second, but I pushed it back as best as I could.

I wish he would've texted me, but I knew I messed up really bad. It was probably never going to be normal again, but I didn't want to dwell on it too much. It would make me go crazy.

"Oh, what did he say?"

"Nothing really. He just, uh, said that he couldn't fall asleep," she replied. My thoughts ran wild, and no matter how hard I tried to calm down, they were loose and would be tamed for a while.

I was affecting Luke's sleep because of my prior stupidity. With every second, my self hate grew times ten. I started to regret all of my life's decisions, and I started to question if any of this was even worth the trouble.

"Why not? Is something wrong?" I questioned.

"Not that I know of. He just said he was thinking about everything, you mostly." My stomach dropped. I knew I had messed up, but I didn't know it was bad enough to keep him from sleeping. My guilt levels were skyrocketing, and my lip quivered. "He wants to see you," she added.

I turned around quickly, and she nodded. I stared at her for a second before speaking up. "Are you serious?" Again, she nodded.

"I'm not joking." I turned back around and placed my hand on the door handle, prepared to exit the car. "Go get him."

I opened the car door and walked briskly into the hospital. I made my way to Luke's room, and when I got to his door, I opened it slowly.

I peeped my head around the corner to find him laying down, and he was on his phone. I walked in quietly, and he looked up.

"Hi," I said waving shyly. He shot me a small smile, and I melted internally. I thought I'd never see that directed towards me ever again.

"Hey." I walked across the room and took a seat in the chair beside his bed. Since I'd last been in his room, he was in the clothes he wore to the party, but he changed into a hospital gown.

He was under a few sheets and blankets, and there was a tray with empty bottles of water and juice boxes by the sink. I stared around aimlessly before breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"How are you feeling now?"

"To be honest, I'm feeling a lot better. They disconnected me from my fluids, and they come back to check on me every few hours to make sure I've had at least a bottle of water so I can stay hydrated," he explained. I nodded.

"That's good," I said. "Are you hungry at all? I could go down to the cafeteria and get you some breakfast," I offered standing up. He shook his head.

"That's alright. I can just call it in," he replied. I sat back down, and I saw him staring at the wall.

I wanted to know what was going on in his head. I wanted to know if he forgave me or not. I wanted to know if we still stood a chance. I decided to make a bold move.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. He continued to stare at the wall, but after a moment, he answered.

"You." Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I tried my hardest to contain myself.

"What about me?"

"I don't know, everything I guess," he said plainly. My face dropped. I should have known that he wouldn't bounced back after one night. It was a bit frustrating, but I knew I deserved it.

"Oh," I responded with a sigh. He nodded, and I reverted my gaze away from him. The room fell into another awkward silence. I decided to break it yet again. "Is there anything I can get you?" I asked.

"It would be nice if you could bring me a change of clothes and some other hygienic things," he said. I stood from my chair and headed toward the door.

"I'll be back with your things later," I said exiting the room. I shut the door and walked down the hallway. Once I had reached outside, I went over to Ashton's car to find him awake and talking to Caitlyn.

I opened the door and got in. Ashton greeted me first.

"Good morning, Kate!" he said cheerfully. I giggled, and we drove off.

"Morning Ash. Luke asked if I could bring him back some stuff. Could we go to my house and then the drug store on the way back?" Ashton nodded as he continued to drive.
.
.
.
Once we got to my house, I invited Ashton and Caitlyn in so they wouldn't have to wait in the car. I unlocked my front door an led them to my room. I was stopped by my mom.

"Good morning, Kate," she said in a bone chilling tone. I waved and proceeded my journey up the stairs. "Where have you been all night?" she asked just before I could set foot on the first step.

I told Ashton to take Caitlyn to my room before I answered. "Luke fainted at the party last night, not from drinking though. He said he couldn't breathe before he passed out so we drove him to the hospital. The nurse said it was from malnutrition and dehydration with accelerated adrenaline levels and stuff, so when we finished figuring everything out, Ash was too tired to drive back, so we all slept in the car," I explained. She nodded and, and I turned to go upstairs.

"Just call and let someone know next time," she called after me.

"I will," I responded. I trudged up the stairs, and when I got to my room, I saw Ashton laying across my bed and Caitlyn looking at the pictures of the boys and I taped onto my walls.

I walked over to where she was standing, and she spoke first. "These are awesome," she said pointing to one where we were all wearing vests and holding laser guns. She then turned to a picture of Luke and I in a photo booth. The pictures were a couple years old.

There were 4 pictures on the strip, and each of them were different. In the first one, Luke and I were making silly faces. The one after that displayed us cracking up about how funny we'd looked in the previous picture. The next one had us just smiling, but his arm was around my shoulders. In the last one, we were turned towards each other just looking into one another's eyes.

I kissed him for the first time that day. It was my first kiss ever, but it wasn't awkward. It'd felt right, and that's when I realized I had a crush on him.

After a few months of being totally obvious that I liked him, I slowly started to give up. I realized that he didn't like me that way, so I just stopped trying. In the back of my mind, I knew that he wasn't ever going to go for me. I was his best friend.

The first time I realized I could be crushing on him again was when we kissed at that party where I met Thomas. I didn't want it to be true though. I didn't want to get hurt again.

The first time I thought it was him, but it was clear that it wasn't. I used Thomas as my distraction, and that obviously wasn't a good idea. I let him in too easily, and when I found him with Lexi, it really hurt.

That same night I had caught them, Luke took care of me. He did his best, and I really appreciated it. I wasn't planning on it, but I knew what I had to do so I could tell if I actually liked him again or not. When we had sex that night, I knew for sure, but I didn't want to know. There were consequences that I didn't want to deal with.

When we fell asleep that night, I heard him saying something, but I couldn't make it out, so I just mumbled in response. What I did feel, though, were the hearts he was drawing into my back.

"We were fifteen," I said suddenly. Caitlyn nodded. "We kissed after that, for the first time. It was pretty special to me because it was my first kiss," I explained. I turned around to find Ashton gone. I walked over the drawer where I kept Luke's things, and I started getting some clothes out for him.

"How did you feel afterwards?" she asked. I knew my answer right away.

"I had a crush on him, but he didn't see me that way, so I gave up after a while." I got out a pair of sweatpants and a plain black shirt for him.

"How do you feel about him now?"

"Honestly, I'm in love with him, but he can't know about it," I confessed. She rose both her eyebrows, and I shrugged. "It's complicated."

"I get it. Don't worry," she replied raising her hands in surrender. I went to my closet to find a small bag to put Luke's clothes in. Once I found one of appropriate size, I placed the clothes in neatly, and I zipped the bag shut.

Caitlyn made her way to my bed, and she took a seat there. I went to my dresser to find some comfortable clothes for myself, and I also retrieved some for Caitlyn. I got us both a pair of sweatpants and a dry-fit shirt.

I got an extra robe from my closet, and I passed it to her.

"I'm going to take a shower. I got these out for you," I started showing her the clothes I picked out. "I can put your under garments in the wash before I get in, and I'll put them in the dryer when I get out so they'll be ready for you if you want to shower as well. There are extra toothbrushes in the cabinet above the sink in the bathroom, and the towels and wash cloths are in the cupboard across the hall from the bathroom. Also, I'll make sure Ash doesn't come in here until we're both dressed again."

She chuckled, and I left so she could get undressed. I returned minutes later, and when I knocked on the door, she called for me to open it. She was wearing one of my robes and her clothes were in a pile next to her. I grabbed them all, and I took them to the laundry room at the end of the hallway.

I threw them in and I added the detergent, washing powder, and fabric softener. I turned on the washing machine before leaving to get in he shower. Upon arriving to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth.

I took a brisk shower, washing my hair quickly and bathing just as fast. I turned the water off and stepped out to dry off. I wrapped a towel around my body and left to go back to the laundry room so I could dry Caitlyn's clothes.

Once I had put her clothes into he dryer. I returned to my room. Caitlyn was in the same position I left her in. "It's your turn. Your things have already started drying," I informed. She nodded and stood up. She left moments later, and I got dressed.
.
.
.
Caitlyn came back after about ten minutes, and I left to get her clothes from out of the dryer. When I returned, my phone went off. I saw a text from Ashton.

Ash x
i went home to freshen up...calum will come and get you guys to go back to the hospital xx

Kate
Okay

I handed Caitlyn her things, and I left my room to go downstairs to find us some food. I settled on toast with a nutella spread and some strawberries.

Caitlyn came down, and we ate breakfast in silence. When we were done, I cleaned up the plates, and we waited on the couch for Calum to come pick us up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she spoke up. I shook my head.

"Not really. Thanks though."

Another awkward silence came upon us, and my phone buzzed shortly after, not allowing me any time to think further.

Cal x
outside...

Kate
We'll be out in a second.

"Calum's outside," I said to Caitlyn. She nodded before standing up. I grabbed the bag I packed for Luke, and we headed out the door. "Mom, we're going back to the hospital for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back," I called throughout the house.

Even though I didn't get a response, I closed the front door, and we made our way to Calum's car. We both slipped in and shut our doors before Calum pulled off.

"Hello Kate. Hi Caitlyn," he greeted.

"Hey Cal," I replied. Caitlyn just waved when he looked at her through the rear view mirror, as she was on her phone.

"I went by Luke's house before I came to pick you guys up, and I got him some toiletries and stuff so we don't have to stop on the way there," Calum said. I nodded, and we made small talk until we reached the hospital.

"Where's Michael? He didn't want to come?" I asked. Michael was never really around much anymore, and that confused me because he was a clingy guy. Maybe he was always around and I just didn't noticed him because I was drowning in my own issues. I wanted him to come back though because he was light and that's what I needed the most.

"He was a little shaken up after last night, so he decided to stay home today. Ashton's going to take him for lunch later though, just to get his mind off of it," he explained.

Right around the time Calum stopped talking is when we arrived at the hospital. He turned the car off, and we both grabbed the bags we brought for Luke. We all shut our doors and headed inside.

We made our way to Luke's room, and when we got to his door, Caitlyn opened it slowly. His nurse, Sharon, was in the room, and she was just asking him some questions and writing some things down.

She also checked his temperature, pulse oxygen, heart rate, and blood pressure. She then made sure he had finished his bottle of water, and she gave him a new one. After that, she greeted us and left the room.

"Hi everyone," Luke said. We all said hi back and found a seat anywhere we could sit in the room. Unfortunately, Calum and Caitlyn got the only two chairs in the room, so I was left to stand up. "Kate, you can sit on my bed if you want," Luke spoke softly. I froze.

"Uh, n-no thanks. I'm all good standing up," I replied.

"Are you sure? I don't mind," he tries again.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine right here," I stuttered. Caitlyn laughed out loud, and I shot her a glare. She quieted and raised her hands in surrender. I suddenly remembered the things I'd brought for him. "Luke, me and Cal brought you some clothes and toiletries so you could shower and stuff if you wanted to," I said quickly.

"You can put them over there," he instructed. I walked over to Calum, and he gave me the bag that was sat in his lap so I could put it where Luke told me.

After about half an hour of Luke and Calum talking, Calum announced that he was going to the gift shop, so he stood up. Just as he was about to close the door to Luke's room, I got up and followed after him. I closed the door quietly when I got outside, and Calum turned around.

"Cal, can I talk to you? It's really important."
.
.
.
A.N// well, there you go. sorry it took so long, i literally forgot how to write. i also felt really bad bc i haven't properly updated in a week and a half soz

okay i hope this chapter isn't as bad as i think it is bc for a week i've literally written two words before i gave up oops

on a brighter note: 1/4 of a million + reads, you guys are incred and i now have 2k+ followers which is insane bc the other day i had something along the lines of 273 and i don't even know where all of you came from...hope you like the story so far, and I'll try an update soon bc there is some good stuff about to happen

if anyone wants to talk about the rs article, do it on this line...

i start school back on tues so fml but i think my grades are in good shape so hizah

that's it i guess, i'll try not to do this again bc it felt really strange not to update for so long but i couldn't physically do it (weirdo alert) okay yeah bye

-cam <3