So we are on the ladders, and mom hasn’t taken her eyes off the phone in my pocket.
“Why didn’t you answer whoever was calling?”
“They’re not important!” (Is that how they answer such questions- ‘cause I felt it really sucked!)
“Well son, is it a girl?”
“Mom, stop it please!” I even don’t want to look at her.
You see ever since the first time I was caught masturbating, mom thought the problem had to do with my hatred for girls. So she used to invite neighbor’s kids and introduce them to me, so that perhaps I could date one of them.
But that’s a long story.
 
Back to the staircase.

Now, mom gets a little bit hectic. She stops in the ascent and looks me in the eye, “Son, tell me. Is it a girl?” She even starts smiling back…uhm, not back, because I am clearly not smiling.
 
“Mom, here’s the key. I’m going to my room, and yeah, see you after lunch.”
I’m not trying to avoid her lectures. It’s just that I fear some other idiot may call her phone and ruin my day.
 
She gives me that “It’s your life” look and I can’t help but shudder.  I mean, it’s not her job to lecture me on boy matters. It’s dad’s job….
And dad…well he kinda broke his leg and yeah, he’s a badass adviser.
 
“Oh, you said the key was upstairs, how did it jump into your pockets?” Goddamn. Why is she so smart?

*******
  I can’t help but blush.
“Are you hiding something from me?”
  
Duh, does she want me to say ‘Yes’? That what.  Yes, mom. So I kinda of used your phone to download some blow-jobs from the internet. I am so sorry mom. Please forgive me, uhhhh.
 
My mom is definitely not that type of American mom. That “Jesus loves you” kinda of mom. She’s that “Spare the rod and spoil the child type.”
 
So don’t blame me for saying, “What can I hide from you mom?”
    
“You’re acting weird.” She remarks. Good. Better to be weird than caught.
 
“Bring me my phone on the charger.” She says sheepishly.
 
Now, I don’t know how it got inside my head that she wanted the phone so fast but within seconds I had finished transferring the porn from her phone to mine. All thanks to Xender. (Oh, you don’t know what Xender is? Brrr…You see before world war one, when Hitler thought about the German…..)
 
 
After deleting all the nonsense, I gently gave her the phone. In one piece, and yeah, my peace too. (Is it piece or peace? What the frick?)
 
So, pretty much there’s nothing to worry about. Everything is great. I have the porn on my phone. The videos are really good. 
  I watch the first one, then the second, then the third. God, thank you.
 
 
 
 
**** 
 
Now before I even start explaining what happened next, I want you know there was literally no way anyone could detect I had just jerked off.
 
So when I hear footsteps outside, I’m like, “We’re good!”
The door kicks open and the first thing I know mom is BACK.
 
She’s cuddled in a towel and all sparks.
“What is this?” She shows me her phone.