BOTHERED FOR LITERACY
 
It’s funny how many of the guys who pretend to fight for the ‘new curriculum’ are keeping quiet in the meanest of times.
     If waking up on Monday with a bunch of Algebra equations you don’t forking* understand, in English and your mother tongue combined, sounds like great fun to you, don’t worry, you’re not the only patient.
 
See, a couple of times after I enrolled for College, I have always had this weird feeling of dropping everything to do with Science subjects. It’s not ADHD, dummy. (No, not you! I was talking to my, uhm, cat?!)
 
It’s just that I hate everything to do with solving problems for ‘X’ and stuff. If X was a kid, he would be that little annoying rat in the back, always pigeoning about his soiled candy.
 
And yes, most of my Professors agree ‘X’ has his problems and they need to be solved. But let’s just investigate that for a little second.
 
So, you’re telling me, this so called ‘X’ or whatever his name, is so stupid that he can’t see that when he’s in an equation with say ‘Y’, he can’t forking get himself out.
 
   Even kindergarten kids can do that. If you get entangled with someone you don’t like, why limit yourself, just move out of the damn equation.
 
But no! My Professors say I need to solve all the goddamn problems X has got. And no, they don’t care if they're as shitty as hell, as long as the problem is solved, I get my A.
       Congratulations, Professor Mike, I just got my third F.
Yeah, my mom was so proud of me, she had to call you on the phone and ask, “What the hell is wrong with my kid?”
 
You see, Professor Mike, it’s not only my mom, my dad too became concerned. Never before had someone passed Maths so highly.
   And F? Oh, my forking God. Do you know how many books I had to ‘not’ read? Do you even forking know the time I spent eating popcorns and fuzzy coco-cola?
 
***
As you can guess, I didn’t get along with most of my College Professors. I was so annoying to the point where the school chef was called in. Sorry, I meant, the security guard.
School chef?
“Hey you. I’m not gonna serve you if you get F’s next time!”  Chill chef, it’s not like Maths is my boyfriend.
I have many ex’s so to speak. I’d rather kiss Chemistry than go for that damn Maths.
  Matter of fact, Maths is not that handsome. He’s filled with x’s and y’s and all the goddamn nerdy tricks up his nose.
 
Moving on!
 
So, after my first year at college, I realised Science was really not the perfect rabbit to fuck around with. 
   I went in for History, but soon…..
 
No, I loved History, it’s just that it was so hot inside that goddamn classroom. You know, having fifteen American Football players in one class isn’t something a girl would be shy of, isn’t it?
 
  A girl like me, of course! Why me? Because, I grew up in a family where my dad was a soldier, and soldiers just don’t give a rat’s hairy ass if their daughter is dating or not.
     Soldiers just….they don’t give a rat’s hairy ass about it.
As I was saying, History class was just overcrowded. It was great listening to all the tales of Napoleon and Germany or France or whatever popped into Mr. Loudmilk’s brainy head.