severus snape x professor! reader
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Severus Snape was not an easy person to be around with, and yet, you still found him intriguing. You let yourself drool over how perfect he was in your eyes—his handsome face and his intimidating height, his thick and deep voice that enchanted you every time, and you did not hold yourself back from falling in love with him.

You had grown closer with the Potions Master, always by his side whenever you did not have classes to teach. Sometimes he would find you after you finished teaching, and both of you would walk together to the Great Hall. The other teachers were aware now that you and Severus would always sit next to each other, and the students knew the only time they could see their Potions professor smiled was during the meals that he had with you sitting beside him.

It was not unusual for you to see him in his office after working hours, talking about everything and sometimes you would bring him books that you found interesting, then Severus would walk you back to your chambers.

Once, you had begged him to accompany you to walk in the Forbidden Forest, and somehow he agreed. It was peaceful for him to talk to you alone, without having to worry about the students' judging glares. Not that he would ever let you walk there alone though, it was too dangerous and Severus would not take the risk.

Severus always loved your company. He was hostile towards you at first, but slowly you made your way into his heart and he let you in.

That night, as you watched the moon through his office window, Severus realised something about you. As the moonlight fell upon your features, a smile was cracked on his lips and he admired your beauty.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

You referred to the full moon with a smirk, knowing well that Severus would make a joke, saying that the moon was not that beautiful for the werewolves. However, he did not say anything that night.

"Severus?"

"Yes, it is beautiful."

He agreed, smiling softly at you. You frowned slightly, but when you noticed that he was staring at you, you tore your gaze away from him and tried to hide your blush.

Severus knew he was falling in love with you, and he could not hide it anymore.

Seeing how your lips curled into a smile, he almost lost his breath. Then it dawned to him that you were far too different from him.

You were so young, so innocent and kind that he was afraid if he got any closer to you— He would bring darkness and ruin upon you. He had no rights to steal your innocence and kindness, for that he had done so many dreadful things in the past.

Hence, Severus did what he think was right. He distanced himself from you, hurting his own heart and soul while at the same time, he was breaking your heart.

You could see that Severus was changing. He did not talk to you in the Great Hall and he was never there to walk you back to your chambers anymore. His smiles that were reserved for you had disappeared and replaced with stone cold glares; the same ones that he gave to other people.

It hurt you so much because you thought you meant something to him. You thought that you were special, and not just like other people to him. Apparently not.

You could not remember what happened that night until he grew distant with you. Did you do something wrong, or did you say something that hurt his feelings?

You decided to confront him about it, but it did not go well. You approached him in his class as soon as his students were dismissed. He was surprised to see you walk into his classroom and it hurt you a tad bit because he was always happy to see you before.

"Sev, can I talk to you?"

You asked, putting a hand on his arm. It was a comforting gesture that you always did, and yet this time, he scowled at you.

"What do you want?"

He asked sternly, glaring at you. You pulled your hand away, realising that he was not comfortable with your touch.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

You wanted answers. He backed away a few steps from you, making you frown in response. He was acting as if it was such a bad thing to be close to you.

"Why are you like this, Severus? Did I do something wrong?"

Your voice cracked, and again, you wanted to come closer towards him but he winced as if your presence was burning him.

"You don't want me here..."

You muttered, feeling a lump in your throat. You were not a fool. You understood the signs from him. He wanted to be away from you, so far away that you could never reached him.

"No, I don't."

He replied, giving you a nod. Severus saw tears pooled in your eyes and his heart was aching. He knew you thought that he hated you, and perhaps that was the best to make you walk away from him.

"You don't want me."

You whispered under your breath, but loud enough for him to hear you. Severus wanted to gather you in his arms and tell you that you were the one he wanted, but he was scared. He could not be a part of your life, not when he could be the reason of destroying it with his past.

Therefore, he watched as you walk away. He saw your shoulder slumped and tears on your face, but he was helpless. His mind was telling him that it was for the best.

Both of you avoided each other at all costs and it was worrying the other teachers as well because they could see how troubled you were. Severus got more grumpy with everyone, while the students kept talking about how sad you looked these days.

"Y/N, can you help me?"

You were in your office when Professor Flitwick asked for your help. He grimaced when he saw the devastation in your eyes, and he knew the reason. All teachers knew the reason behind your sadness and Severus' rage. Both of you could not be apart from each other and it showed.

"A potion? You teach Charms. What do you need a potion for?"

You asked, raising your eyebrows at him. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, acting as if he was not feeling well.

"Please help me, my dear Y/N. Severus knows what potion I want. I've told him before. You just need to help me take it from him."

He continued, and he hoped his endeavour to make you meet Severus was working. He was tired of seeing the two of you longed for each other.

"Why me?"

"Because you were my favourite student and now you're my favourite colleague. I know you'll help me out."

He gave you a small smile and you let out a sigh. You rolled your eyes and nodded weakly, bringing a smile upon the Charms professor's face.

That was how you found yourself in his office, the last place you wanted to be at this moment. You could still remember his stone cold glare and how emotionless he sounded when he last talked to you. It hurt so much.

"What can I help you with?"

He asked, as he saw you came in. His voice was not stern, but it was not soft either. You chewed on your bottom lip and forced a smile.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Professor Snape."

Severus frowned when you called him that, not used to being so formal with you. But he just shrugged it off, knowing that he had hurt your feelings.

"Professor Flitwick sends me here to take his potion. He said he has told you which potion he needs."

You spoke quickly, just wanted this to get over with. However, you knew it was far from over when Severus shook his head.

"Flitwick didn't say anything to me."

"What?"

You were baffled, and you thought for awhile. Did Flitwick just lie to you so that you came and see Severus? The Potions Master seemed to realise his colleague's intention too, as a sigh escaped his lips and he looked at you.

"What am I doing here?"

You grumbled under your breath, turning on your heels to leave but you came to a halt when you felt his hand on your shoulder.

"Y/N, please stay for awhile."

Severus could not hold himself back any longer. You turned to look at him, and his heart was shattered when he saw agony that was swimming in your eyes.

"You don't want me. Remember?"

You retorted, tears started to well up in your eyes. Severus gritted his teeth and cursed himself for being so stupid.

"Y/N, I didn't mean that."

"Sure, you didn't."

You scoffed, crossing your arms against your chest. You had to look away from him, or else you would break into tears.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I thought I did the right thing."

He whispered, caressing your face and you looked him in the eyes. You knew he was being honest, but you were angry.

"You acted as if my presence was hurting you. You don't want me."

You stated, and Severus could see how heartbroken you were, and he was the cause of it. He was supposed to protect you, and yet, he had broken your heart.

"Am I that repulsive?"

You choked on your tears, reminded of how he brushed you off at your touch, like your touch was harming him.

"You're not repulsive, love."

It pulled on his heart strings to know that you thought so lowly of yourself. You were far from repulsive, and he wanted to let you know that.

"I am repulsive. I'm in love with you and you don't even want me."

Your heart-wrenching sobs wrecked his heart, and he quickly wrapped his strong arms around you. You tried to push him off you, but slowly you sinked into his comforting touch, letting him embrace you. 

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, Y/N. You have no idea how bad I want you in my arms, to hold you so dearly that no harm can come to you as long as I'm here."

He whispered into your ears, letting you cried into his chest. He kissed your head lovingly, wishing that you would forgive his foolishness.

"Such a beautiful person with a big heart. You don't know how I dream of living a life with you, so that every day my heart will be at ease, knowing that you will guide me if I ever go the wrong way."

He added, and you looked up at him. You wanted to believe him, truly, you believed him. But you were unsure. He had pushed you away, and now he was pulling you back.

"Then why did you avoid me?"

"I don't deserve you, love."

He cradled your face in his hands, kissing your forehead softly as if he was afraid that you would break if he hold you harshly.

"You're too young, too pure and you know what I've done in my past. I can't let myself ruin your life."

He clenched his jaw as his agonising memories flooded his mind about what he had done in order to save the Wizarding World. You shook your head, not knowing that he felt that way about himself.

"I love you."

You whispered, giving him a smile. Severus almost cried at how genuine you were, and you gave him permission to invade your mind.

Severus did it, and he only saw the most beautiful things that you wanted to share with him, a life fulled of promising things that you would go through with him in the future. You really loved him.

"I love you too."

He said, pulling you closer in his arms if that was possible. You felt so perfect in his arms, just like how you wanted it to be.

"Don't you dare hurt me again, Severus Snape."

You warned, a smirk was dancing on your lips. Severus nodded vigorously and he swore to himself that he would never hurt you. He promised himself that he would push the negative thoughts away from his mind too.

"I think we have to thank Flitwick for this."

"That's right. Did you know that I were his favourite student and I'm his favourite colleague?"

You asked. Severus cocked his eyebrow and he scoffed playfully.

"I don't care. I'm everyone's favourite colleague, love."

"Of course, you are, Professor Snape."

You teased, and he fought back a smile but failing miserably as he smiled broadly at you.

"What I know is you're my favourite person."

"You're my favourite person too, love."

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i was actually in the mood of angst but i don't want to ruin your festive mood so there you go <3

27th December 2020