Severus looked at the clock and realised the time. It seemed like he was going spend his New Year's Eve alone again, just like all these years. His eyes moved from the clock and landed on the picture frame next to it.

A small smile was cracked on his lips when he saw your picture with him. He could still remember the day when the picture was taken by none other than Minerva at your request. He refused to be in the picture, but after seeing how sad you were when he declined, he eventually agreed.

Severus took the picture frame in his hand, warmth wrapped around his heart when he saw your face. You were smiling broadly, leaning against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you from behind. You looked so happy and looking at the picture now, Severus did not regret being in that picture with you.

"I miss her."

He muttered, sighing as he put the picture frame back on the table. You had gone back to your family's home during Christmas, and it would be a few days more until you would be back into his arms. He had to spend New Year's Eve by himself, without you by his side.

Severus had learned how to live by himself but since the day you walked into his life, he would be a wreck without you. He would never admitted it, but he hoped you know that you were important to him. He wished he could speak out his feelings, telling you how much you meant to him but he could not. There was something stopping him, reminding him that if he ever lose you, it would be his ruin.

Just as he was about to go to bed, realising that there was no point in waiting for midnight, he heard his door was opened.

"Surprise!"

Severus' eyes grew wide when he saw you standing there, a big smile was on your face. He grinned when you ran into his arms, instinctively spinning you around as he was so happy to see you back. You laughed when he spun you, content to see him after a few days being apart from each other. He put you down, kissing your forehead lovingly.

"I thought you won't be back for another few days."

"I wanted to surprise you. Are you happy?"

He raised his eyebrows at your question. There was no doubt that he was over the moon to finally have you back with him.

"Why wouldn't I be happy to have my darling here?"

He smirked, upon seeing a steady blush on your face. He loved it when you were flattered by his words, realising how easy it was for his sweet words to affect you.

"I'm just shocked. I thought you wanted to spend time with your family."

He said, knowing how much you loved your family. Severus never fully understood it, as he never knew what a real family was like. He never had one, as he was born in a broken family that he never considered as his real family. Severus wondered if he would ever have a chance to build his own family in the future. He wondered if you would ever want to stay with him, after all, you were the only person he wanted to have a future with.

"I don't want you to spend New Year's Eve alone. I love you so much."

You responded, grinning at him. Severus just smiled. He never said it back to you. You were used to it by now. At first, you were hurt but now you knew Severus showed his affection through his actions, not by words. It was as if he was afraid to say that he loved you. You never knew why, but you believed that he felt the same.

On the other hand, Severus felt guilty. He wanted to tell you how much he loved you. But he was scared. He had lost too much in his life, and he was afraid if he let out his feelings, you would slowly slip through his fingers just like everything else in his life. You were far too precious for him, and he couldn't fathom the thought of losing you.

"Can I have my New Year's kiss?"

You asked, trying to take his mind off his guilt, that you could see in his eyes. Severus caressed your face softly, leaning in but then he stopped. A smirk was dancing on his lips when you pouted at his action.

"We still have a few minutes left, darling. It's not fair if I kiss you now."

He teased, pulling his hands from you. You almost whined when you lost his warmth on your skin. Severus went to the kitchen, wanting to make some tea for you and you waited for him patiently.

A smile emblazoned you saw the picture of you and him was placed on the bedside table. He must have moved it there because you put the picture frame in the living room, and not in your shared bedroom.

"Did you move our picture here because you missed me?"

You asked loudly, wanted him to hear you as he was in the kitchen. You could not see him, but you knew that he was rolling his eyes at your words.

"Let me be honest, it's hard to sleep without you."

He replied, annoyed that he had to tell you the truth. He was used to hold you in his arms, making sure that you were safe and protected. Thus, when you were away, it was odd for him to sleep in bed alone. It was even harder to sleep when he could not know that you were happy or sad, whether you were safe or harmed. He was worried every night that you were not there with him.

You chuckled, realising that he missed you. It felt good to be home, with him, the one that you loved and adored. Your smile dropped when you noticed that it almost midnight and you really wanted to kiss Severus during midnight, into the New Year.

So you sprinted to the kitchen, knocking a few things while you were on your way and Severus frowned at the noise that you were making. He saw you running towards him, almost falling in the process. But you did not seem to mind at all as you were focused to give him a New Year's kiss.

"Y/N, what—"

He did not get to finish his sentence as you threw yourself into his arms, kissing him like he was your lifeline. He kissed you back almost immediately, with passion and intensity that made you cling to him, melting into a puddle of giddiness in his arms. You knotted your fists in his shirt, and he kissed you harder, deeper than he ever did before, as if he was telling you how much you meant to him through the kiss. You were so loved, and you did not his words to assure you. But as he pulled away from the kiss, breathless, he said something that you thought you would never get to hear.

"I love you."

He whispered, taking you by surprise. You had been waiting for so long to hear those words until you convinced yourself that his words were not important. But as he uttered those words, genuinely, you did not know what to do. You always told him that you loved him, but never once, did he say it back.

"I love you so much, Y/N."

He said again, and you smiled, realising that you were not dreaming. You finally heard it from him, that he loved you. Tears welled up in your eyes, and you were astonished at how meaningful his words were to you.

"I love you too."

He smiled, letting go of his fear and doubts, embracing the fact that you were in love with him as much as he was in love with you. He would cherish you until the end of time.

"That was a good New Year's kiss, love."

You said, chuckling as happy tears escaped your eyes. Severus wiped them away with his thumbs, glad that he said those words, upon seeing your priceless reaction. Now you believed that you meant the world to him.

"I'm glad to hear that. I mean, you sprinted and knocked over everything just to kiss me."

He pointed out, making you realised how imprudent you must looked like when you were running just to kiss him. It worth everything though, that you got to hear his confession.

"What I'd do to kiss Severus Snape. I can't help it, you're so charming."

You wiggled your eyebrows, and he shook his head at your words.

"Happy new year, darling."

You muttered, looking up at him with your luminous eyes. Severus sighed in content before carrying you bridal style to your shared bedroom, making you laughed as you were not expecting him to carry you.

"Happy new year, my love."

-
aww he finally said it. he loves you! 🥺

happy new year everyone! 2020 was not the best year for me, but it wasn't the worst either. i made new friends, discovered new things and i started this book so there are a few things that i'm grateful for 2020 (despite the challenges of course).

i hope all of you will have such a good year ahead in 2021, with abundance of joy and happiness, also succeeding in everything you do <3

1st January 2021