Severus watched with a smile as his wife stood by the window, looking as beautiful as ever. You were grinning, as a bird perched on the window like it usually would every day, singing to you as if its job was to entertain you. Severus' heart swelled when he saw how happy you were, nothing could take your smile off your face as long as he was breathing.

"What is the name of this pretty bird, Severus?"

You asked, turning to look at him. His heart clenched at your question, but he gave you a smile, knowing that it would make you happy to see him without a frown on his face.

"It is a house sparrow, love. It is a very gregarious bird."

He answered, like he did for many times already, but he learned to be patient, realising that you did not realise you were asking him the same question every day. The Potions Master felt a stinging pain in his chest when your smile widen, and you continued to watch the bird, not knowing how painful it was for him to see you slipping through his fingers slowly.

Ignoring the dejection that was slowly seeping into his heart, Severus noticed that it was time for him to leave for his class. He went to plant a kiss on your forehead, receiving a soft chuckle from you, which ignite his heart in flames. Oh, you had no idea how much he loved you.

"I have to go to work now, love."

He said, and you smiled sadly at him, realising that you would be left alone until he came back. It was quite boring to stay there without him, especially when you had burning passion for teaching, but your health condition was not allowing you to teach anymore.

"I love you, Y/N."

Severus quickly said, noticing that you were getting sad over the fact that you no longer had a job at Hogwarts. He knew how much it meant to you to teach the students, and when you had to let it go because of your illness, it was absolutely heartbreaking for you.

"I love you too, Severus."

Severus would listen to your declaration of love to him more attentively now, wanting to treasure the words in his mind, remembering it forever as he would never know if one day you would not be able to say it to him anymore.

As he walked towards the Great Hall to start his day, a sigh escaped his lips, seeing that you were not walking by his side like you used to. He knew he could see you after work, but your absence throughout his day was a cruel reminder to him that you were slowly forgetting things, and now you had to stay at home, that one day, probably you would forget him too.

Severus did not want to believe it. You just turned 38 this year, so when the doctor said you had dementia, you and Severus were flabbergasted. Your husband had tried to make potions to heal you but nothing worked, and he had to rely on Muggle medicine which he was not really interested in at first. But he would do anything for you.

The Potions Master was distraught as you cried in his arms that night, afraid that your life was going to take a frightening turn now. You had so many things planned with your husband but everything was wrecked. He could only hold you close into his chest, tears pricked in the corner of his eyes as you said you did not want to forget him.

He was scared too. He did not know what he would do if you forget him. He could not remember how did he live before meeting you. He was sure he was not able to function without hearing his name coming out of your mouth. He would be destroyed without you.

You could not forget him.

Severus was assuring you that you would never forget him. He was determined in making sure that your health was going to improve for the better. He would walk with you in the evening, hand in hand, wanting you to get some fresh air and believing that it would help your mind. He read so many books about your illness, learning them in a short amount of time just to give you the best treatment he could.

But your condition was deteriorating. It was getting worse until you had to resign as a professor, shocking your students and breaking their hearts when they heard what was happening to you.

Severus despised it. He hated it when students looked at him with pity in their eyes, and he hated it even more when they came to see you. He knew every time your students came to visit, you would go to your home office once they left, staring at your books, missing your job and blaming yourself for your illness.

It was not your fault and Severus would spend his whole life proving it to you if he had to. It was hard for him, and he knew it was harder for you. You felt like you were losing your life, your memories, and soon your husband would become one of the forgotten memories in your head.

Realising that he had to face the harsh truth, Severus promised himself that he would show you how much he loved you, as long as you could remember everything about your beautiful marriage with him.

He made sure everything happened like usual, without reminding you of your illness, except when you had to take your medicine. Severus would notice how your forgot the smallest of things, but he would try his hardest not to point it out if it was not necessary.

He also reminded himself to see if your wedding ring was on your finger. It was important for you. You had taken it off once, and forgetting about it until you noticed it was gone. Severus could still remember you coming up to him, tears streaming down your face, hysterically sobbing that you lost your ring, but he could find it within seconds as it was only on the dresser.

The wedding ring meant so much to you. Severus had to make sure it was always with you, so that you would not be a crying mess looking for it. It was adorable, he would admit, only if you were not forgetting it because of your illness. 

Severus enjoyed going to Diagon Alley with you. It was when he could see a genuine smile on your face, despite the fact that your mind was troubled. It made you felt like you were still the old you, going on amazing dates with Severus without having to worry about anything.  

Putting a hand on the small of your back, Severus walked side by side with you, a small smile was painted on his face as he watched you admiring the place. He felt bad sometimes for not allowing you to go out by yourself, but he was worried if you might get lost, and you could not use your wand anymore since it was too dangerous. Hence, when you could leave your shared home for the weekend, it was enough.

"I'm going to find some supplies for school."

He said, and you decided to wait outside of the shop as he went in, finding things he needed. Severus was not sure if it was right to go in by himself, but when you convinced him that you were fine, he nodded and walked into the shop.

You chewed on your bottom lip, realising that Severus was careful with you all the time, and you could not help but be reminded of how helpless you were now. Your husband had many responsibilities, and you thought you were starting to become a burden to him.

Hearing soft laughter, you turned to look at a couple walking down the road. They were older than you, holding hands, looking so in love with each other. Tears filled in your eyes as the thought of not being able to grow old with your Severus was clouding your mind.

You had already forgetting things now, and you were not even forty yet. You knew your condition was worsening, and despite Severus' endeavour to cover it up from you, you noticed the devastation in his eyes every time you asked him a question, which you guessed you already asked him many times before. 

An evil voice was whispering in your head, telling you that Severus deserved someone who was able to love him forever. And you started to doubt if you were the one for him. You felt like you were stopping him from living his life, since he had to take care of you. Perhaps he would be better off with someone else, instead of you.

Luckily, your thought was chased away when Severus came back, wrapping an arm around your waist. You smiled at him, realising that you would never want to live without him, and you would let go of everything you had because of your illness but not your dearest husband— Not Severus. You would never let him go.

"Did you get what you need, my love?"

You asked, leaning against him as warmth wrapped around your heart. Severus nodded, kissing your head softly.

"You said you want to buy something. What is it?"

At his question, you froze. Severus frowned as you opened your mouth to say something, but then you shook your head, dropping your gaze on your shoes. It tugged on his heartstrings to know that you were forgetting again.

"I... I forgot."

You murmured, ashamed of yourself. Severus felt his heart shattered at the sound of your voice, small and defeated. He forced a smile upon his face and held you tighter, making you look up at him.

"It's alright, love. I think we should get some ice cream first."

He suggested, his heart melted when your frown turned into an enchanting smile, and you nodded vigorously at his words. He took your hand in his, smirking when your face flushed, completely focusing on him now instead of your worsening condition. He just wanted you to be happy.

Severus was not ready for things to become worse for you but it did. His heart almost jumped out of his chest when Minerva barged into his class, telling him that you were in her office. She found you wandering in the school ground, worried for Severus as you did not know where he was.

"I had to lock her in my office so she doesn't leave anywhere, Severus."

The Potions Master pressed his lips into a thin line, not liking the fact that his wife was locked in a room like a prisoner but he knew it was the right thing to do. McGonagall must be worried sick when she found you, as she never thought your illness were getting worse now.

When Severus walked into her office, once again, his heart shattered, seeing tears on your face as your lips trembled, calling out his name in a whisper. You needed him and he was not there for you.

"Y/N..."

He breathed out, and you smiled as you noticed he was there, running into his arms. He wrapped his arms around you, holding back his own tears as you cried into his chest.

"I thought you left me, Severus. Where were you?"

Your voice quivered, and Severus wiped your tears away, hushing you as he held you close to him.

"I was teaching, love. I'm sorry I wasn't with you."

A pang of realisation hit you hard as you realised he was at work, and you had forgotten about it. Severus knew what was going on in your head, and the last thing he wanted was for you to blame yourself again, so he just caressed your face gently, a smile on his lips.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, Y/N. I'm here now."

Severus would be lying if he say he was fine. He was not. He was far from it.

Every night as you fell asleep in his arms, Severus would cry himself to sleep, thinking that perhaps one day, you would wake up, forgetting about him and your love for him. It was hurtful, but he knew it was possible to happen. He just hoped the day would never come. 

Hence, when you gave him a letter, he was baffled. You stopped him from opening the envelope, and it puzzled him even more with your strange behaviour. You smiled, kissing his lips lovingly.

"One day I might forget about you, Severus. I don't want to, but if it happens, please read this letter."

Your words pierced through his chest, and that day, both of you broke into tears, unable to hide the agony that was residing in your heart and his soul anymore. You clung to him as he cried into your hair, letting out of his emotions which he rarely did. Severus embraced the reality now, that his wife was there, but your mind was leaving him.

It happened slowly, but Severus could sense that the day was coming. He held you tighter in his arms as you slept, and he listened carefully when you talked. He read for you every day, smiling as he watched you eat your favourite candy with excitement sparkling in your eyes. He wanted to remember everything about you, when you still recognised him, as your husband, your soulmate, your Severus.

That morning was the same as the other, Severus would admire you as you looked at the bird perching on the window. It was a tiring cycle, but he would do it all over again in a heartbeat if it meant he could have you in his life.

"What is the name of this pretty bird, Severus?"

You asked, your eyes were fixed on the bird. Severus answered you, like he always did:

"It is a house sparrow, love. It is a very gregarious bird."

But your smile dropped, and Severus knitted his eyebrows together. He watched as you turned to look at him, and it was as if he could hear his frantic heartbeat, as his beautiful wife stared at him blankly.

"Who are you?"

Your question tore a piece from your husband's heart and left a scar, the one that would never heal. Severus breathed sharply, swallowing the lump in his throat, it was time for him to read your letter.

. . . . .

"That was a beautiful poem."

Severus looked up from his book, only to find you sitting next to him, eager to listen more as he read to you. There was a smile on your face, bewitching him to grow a smile of his own, fluttering your heart.

"Yes, it is."

Severus admired you, watching as rosy blush ran across your cheeks, and a timid smile was adorned on your face. You were so beautiful to him.

"Did you write it?"

"Yes, I did. I wrote it for my wife."

His voice was like a whisper, stabbing his own heart as he realised you would not remember that you were his wife. And he was right, as you raised your eyebrows, and distanced yourself a bit from him.

"She is so lucky to have you."

Severus smiled, shutting his book as his focus now was on you. You seemed to be thinking of something before you turned to look at him again, curiosity filled in your eyes.

"I think I've heard it before."

"Yes."

He nodded, having to read the poem to you every day since he retired from Hogwarts to take care of you, and if you could still remember, you would know that he read it to you for the first time on your wedding day.

"I love it."

You said, looking out of the window as the sun set. For a moment, it was silent. You did not say anything else and Severus did not want to read as he found himself watching you in adoration. Perhaps you had forgotten, but you were still his Y/N, and he would cherish you until your last breath.

Suddenly, you looked at him and smiled. Severus' breath hitched, and he felt like it was only yesterday when you smiled at him from across the Great Hall, as you walked in with your friends. He felt like he was a young student once again, falling in love with you who was too good for him. It felt like his sorrows were vanishing as he was blinded with the memories of you and him— The memories that you had forgotten.

"I love you so much, Y/N. I will love you forever."

He whispered, tears welled in his eyes.

"I love you too, Severus."

It was a miracle. Severus chuckled heartily as he heard his name, Severus, rolling out of your tongue. You remembered him, you remembered his name, and you remembered your love for him.

"I will love you forever, Severus."

He did not wait any second to pull you into his arms, tears rolling down on his cheeks as he kissed your head. Severus was an emotional mess after everything that has happened, and he was not embarrassed to admit it. He could never accept that you were losing yourself, so in a moment like this, when you remembered, he was over the moon.

"Severus, I remember you... I don't want to forget you again."

His heart was wretched at your plead, as you clutched on his shirt, hot tears boiled in your eyes. Severus wished he could promise you that you would not forget him again, but he could not. He was powerless. He could only smile at you, teary eyed.

"I love you, Y/N."

He cooked dinner that night. It had been so long since he had dinner with you, his wife, when you remembered him. Severus was busy staring at you as you ate, his heart was heavy at the thought of you forgetting him again soon.

A moment like this was precious to him, but it went on quickly and before he could even realise it, you were gone once again.

He dared to think that perhaps that night he could get more time with you. He wanted to stargaze with you, holding you in his arms and once you fell asleep at the sound of his voice, he would have to carry you to bed.

Severus could only dream of it as it was something that he could do with you years ago, but not now. He felt himself trembling as you started to stare into the distance, and you shook your head, panic rose in your chest.

"Y/N?"

He knew what was happening. But he hoped he was wrong.

He was not ready for you to leave him just yet.

He needed more time with you.

"Love, talk to me."

He spoke softly, as you stood up from your chair, wrapping your arms around yourself. Severus tried to comfort you, but his heart broke when you flinched, looking at him with wide eyes, terrified.

"Who are you?"

Your voice was shaky, and he winced— You were afraid of him.

"Why are you here?"

You backed away from him, as he came closer to you to calm you down. Severus' steps came to a halt, when you glared at him, as if he was a stranger to you. No, you were kind, even towards strangers. But now you felt threatened by him. 

"Please stay away from me!"

You begged, and Severus' heart was torn out of his chest, knowing that he had to leave the room until you calmed down. He nodded weakly, dragging his feet to his room, but not before making sure that you were safe. He shut his bedroom door when he saw you sitting on the couch, staring at the wall, before you broke into tears.

He sat in his bed, exhaustion was taking over his body. He was hurt, and he had been hurt so many times before. He knew this would happen with you, but he thought he would get used to it but he would never.

Every time this happened, his heart would break, and he would read your letter again. Then you would remember, but you would forget. It was tormenting, but he loved you, and he would forever be by your side even if it only meant to torture his heart.

He did not know if he would be able to endure this pain. He was in love with you. But he knew you had forgotten. He swore that he would love you forever, and as he took your letter in his hands, he remembered the reason for him to hold on a little bit longer— You loved him, and you would love him forever.

Dear Severus,

If you are reading this letter, it means that I forget about you. It hurts me to think that I'm forgetting the love of my life, my heart and soul, my best friend, my husband, my Severus. You are everything to me. But I know it hurts you even more deeply, and I am sorry for hurting you.

I want you to know that I remember the day when we first met. I remember the way you looked at me as if I was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen. I remember the way you trembled with your words because you were scared that I didn't want to go out with you. I remember our first date. I remember our first kiss. I remember when you scolded me for being careless while brewing my potion until I burned my hand. I remember when I stayed at school during holiday for the first time because I wanted to spend my holiday with you.

Those are the things that I would hold dearly to my heart. But it is funny to think that I am able to list things that happened years ago but I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast.

And yes, of course, I remember our graduation day. I remember when we promised each other that we would be together forever. I remember our wedding day. I remember when you cried that day. I remember Minerva teasing you for a month because of it. I also remember your poem for me. It was beautiful.

Severus, I might be forgetting things, but I love you.

I love you so much and I want you to remember this. I will love you forever.

My heart will forever be yours.

And even when I can't say these words to you anymore, I want you to know, that I love you. I love you with all of my heart and soul.

Please don't forget to take care of yourself too, love. No matter how hard you are trying to care for me, please know that you are important to me, and I want you to be healthy and happy.

We will spend eternity together, like we promised to.

Love,
Y/N.

-
13th July 2021