The most exciting thing for the first few weeks was, inevitably, the third year's new subjects. Lily wouldn't stop buzzing over the prospect of Arithmancy, Ancient Runes or Care of Magical Creatures and even Remus showed some interest for their upcoming Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Truth to be told, Severus didn't remember quite as much about creatures as he did about, say, Ancient Runes. As Voldemort's right-hand man, Severus had needed a thorough knowledge of ancient rituals far more than being able to recognise a Hippogriff or a Streeler from a hundred yards and had, in fact, taken quite a lot of pride from memorising more than six-hundred runic symbols. He'd even covered for Professor Vector on more than one occasion. However, that didn't mean he was an amateur. As DADA professor he'd had to know a huge amount about dark creatures so, while he couldn't tell you the function of a streeler or the benefits of a fire crab, he could still inform you about where best to attack a werewolf or a vampire. And of course lots of potion ingredients came from poor, unfortunate creatures such as unicorns or murtlaps.
"What do you think we'll be studying?" Lily asked eagerly, craning her neck as the three of them walked down to the paddock beside Hagrid's hut with George, Edgar and Nicholas.
"It better be something good," commented George gloomily.
His first Divination lesson had, funnily enough, been as pointless as Severus had predicted, despite never having taken Divination before. From conversations with Professor Trelawney during his teaching career, he had easily ascertained that Divination was as much of a sham as its teacher. While he believed in Seers, he did not believe that Trelawney had an ounce of prophetic blood in her veins. Yes, she had made two correct predictions in the twenty-seven years he had known her. But that didn't, in his expert opinion, say much for her track record.
As they approached the paddock, Severus' expectations fell to rock bottom. His memory wasn't exactly crystal clear but as they saw ten-inch long, toothless brown worms on the ground, Severus' suspicions (and fears) were confirmed. They were studying flobberworms. flobberworms, for their very first lesson of Care of Magical Creatures. It was a travesty.
"What," gasped Nicholas in disdain and horror, "Is that?"
"Bloody flobberworms," Severus muttered. "I knew this subject wasn't worth it," he added to Remus, who nodded.
"Hey!" Lily grabbed his arm. "Positivity please! I'm sure it'll be great."
Two hours later, after having poked shredded lettuce down the throat of a flobberworm, Lily very wholeheartedly agreed with Severus and Remus.
"That was horrible," she groaned. "I will never erase the image of that_ that creature from my mind."
"At least you didn't kill yours," Severus remarked lightly.
Remus, looking green, trudged forwards in front of them with Nicholas, Edgar and George. He'd, extraordinarily, managed to overfeed his flobberworm and it had, regrettably, died where it stood or, rather, lay.
"Poor Rem," Lily commented, staring after him. "That was a terrible lesson."
"Really? I found it rather entertaining," Severus remarked drily.
*
After their dull Care of Magical Creatures lesson, the Ravenclaws then had Defence Against the Dark Arts with the Hufflepuffs which Severus strongly believed would be a lot more interesting. As a snarky albeit quiet third year the last time round, Severus had managed to keep his cool for a long time before he cracked and threw Professor Bulstrode into the nearest wall. He remembered enduring months of discriminatory classes before the incident, after which Bulstrode was inevitably fired. Severus had no idea why Dumbledore had waited that long to fire her, except that DADA teachers were in extremely short supply with most proficient teachers choosing instead to emigrate before Voldemort hunted them down and either killed them or recruited them. Endeavouring to be the better person, Severus took a deep breath and entered the classroom.
Ophelia Bulstrode was exactly as he remembered. A well-built woman of above-average height and bulging muscles, she looked more like a bouncer at a nightclub than a professor. She wore a tweed jacket and had her long wiry hair in two wispy plaits. Following Severus' lead, Remus joined him right at the back of the classroom.
"Morning, class," she boomed.
"Good morning, Professor Bulstrode," chimed back those few who had remembered her name from the welcoming feast.
She surveyed the register and frowned at the large amount of half-blood and muggle-born names before her very eyes. It was at times like this that Severus was very thankful his name came at the bottom of the register.
"Ah, Prewett," Bulstrode said, savouring the word. "Now, I once attended a Prewett dinner party. Excellent food, the right kind of guests... Isaac Prewett. Any relation?" She asked suddenly, looking at Natalie with beady little eyes.
Natalie grudgingly revealed that Isaac Prewett was, in fact, her uncle, and Bulstrode moved on to Selena.
"Now, Shafiq... A great family. Shame that they invited the Weasleys to their latest event..." She stared at Selena, trying to judge whether Selena shared her views or not.
Fortunately, Selena didn't cave in to this sort of intimidation and simply stared coolly back. Bulstrode had completely ignored Emily Macmillan, the only other pure-blood in the room, as the Macmillans were known to associate with the Weasleys and other blood traitors. Like with Slughorn, nobody dared say anything while Bulstrode reminisced over various pure-blood families. There were, however, a few disbelieving glances being thrown around the room and Bulstrode, while having the appearance of a troll, was certainly no idiot.
"You," the woman said suddenly, pointing a stubby finger at Remus. "Is that a smirk I see?"
The smirk dropped as quickly as it had come.
"Of course not, Professor," Remus said hurriedly, looking terrified.
The professor advanced on him slowly, aggression seeping from every pore.
"Professor," Severus interrupted, thinking quickly. "Lupin here was only grinning because someone left a drawing on the board from last lesson."
As Bulstrode turned to look at Severus, he gesticulated with one hand at the blackboard from under the desk. Slowly, and quite shakily, a figure appeared on the board wearing a pointed hat and riding a broomstick. Severus didn't have a huge imagination or, indeed, much time. Several people started laughing and Bulstrode scrutinised the board before looking back at Severus.
"How dare you!" Bulstrode exclaimed, now pointing the stubby finger at Severus. "Detention, for a month!"
Outwardly, Severus showed no indignation but, on the inside, he imagined hitting his head on the desk with exasperation. What a wonderful start to the year.
*****
A.N. I still like to think that this story counts as a kind of comedy, apart from of course the increasingly dark elements. Severus will be pretty annoyed at Remus in the next chapter which shall come... tomorrow!
This chapter is dedicated to @Kitten970 for being a great commenter and an important part of the Marvel army fighting against villains like Tobias Snape. For more information on how to join this army, please check one of our many insane comment threads. xD
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. :)
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