" Even if I'm sick with an incurable disease,
I'm a fool that can't live without you - what do you want me to do?"

It was the day of their date.

Hongki woke up early and jumped into the shower, singing his favorite songs as he rinsed the shampoo off his hair.

He stepped out of the bathroom and wore the clothes he had laid for today's special occasion last night. He wanted to look great for his first date with the girl he love. Although it's not really the first for him as he had been through that day before, but for her it was so he have to make it special.

He remembered that he showed up empty-handed for their first real date before, and he regretted it. Seolhyun deserved better, so he decided to buy her flower.

After purchasing a bouquet of white roses, he stopped by a coffee shop and ordered for two cups of Americano. He remembered how she loved coffee.

He arrived in front of her house a few minutes early, a modest two storey with pastel colored wall and green lawn. He checked his appearance at the rear mirror, and fixed his hair. He was nervous, but he had some advantages because he knew what would happen. Before, he planned for a movie, but the movie was cancelled due to an inside problem, so they wasted their two hours inside a café without really doing anything.

He didn't want that to happen so he figured out something else.

At 9am sharp, Seolhyun walked out and saw Hongki's car in front of her house. Hongki stepped out.

"You're early." She said, as she hurried to the car. "Or am I late?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Nope, you're on time."

He opened the door for her and she slipped in.

"I smelled coffee." She mumbled.

He chuckled. "Well, I bought some.. Here, I'm sure you like Americano?"

"Are you kidding me? I love it! Thanks." She smiled and happily sipping on her coffee.

"Well, I have something else for you." He said, handing the bouquet to her.

"Thank you!" She gushed, smelling the flowers. "I love flowers. Oh wow, these are really fresh. Is this the reason why you're early?"

Hongki bit his cheeks and nodded. He was sure he was blushing right now. Was he doing too much for their first date?

Seolhyun smiled. He was clearly embarrassed, but she really liked that about him. He was thoughtful, and he guessed another right thing about her. It had never occurred to her that she would fall for a guy this easily, but she was half way to it.

"Shall we go?" He asked, cheeks still burning.

Seolhyun hummed. "Mhmm."

He smiled and drove away. It was really quiet so he decided to make a conversation.

"Is there any particular places you want to go?"

"Mmm, what's your plan?" She asked back. He was really cute, and at the same time mysterious, she should be creeped out, but there she was, sipping on a hot coffee, riding in his luxurious car.

"There's some. But we can go to your place first, that is.. if you want.." he trailed off.

Seolhyun brought a finger to her chin. After thinking thoroughly, she finally made her choice.

"Can I really go to the place I want?"

Hongki chuckled. He really liked the way she asked. "Of course, it's our first date, afterall. I'll take you anywhere you want."

She grinned. "If I say, I want to go to Italy?"

He glanced at her. "Really? Then we will need to buy our tickets now. Which is the way to the airport? I need to turn left, right?" He switched lane and turned on the signal.

She laughed, a beautiful sound that made him fell even more.

"Don't tell me.." he started, and she laughed even harder. She had to cover her mouth to contain the laughters, which she failed to.

He watched as she tried to contain her laughs, and smiled. She was really beautiful, and to him there's only her. She could laugh at him all she want, he wouldn't be angry, in fact he will do anything he can just to hear that laugh.

A loud honk from the car behind them snapped him back to the present. He forgot that they were blocking the u-turn.

"Damn." he said and drove away.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." she said, looking at the car behind them. "Is he angry?"

"Nah, don't mind him." Hongki said, returning to the first road.

"I'm sorry, Hongki-ssi. You must've been really surprised."

"I do. But I was really serious when I said I will take you anywhere." he looked at her who smiled.

She shook her head. "Italy is my dream place, I will go with someone I love next time. It was my Mom's favorite place too."

Hongki glanced over to her as she smiled to her memories, maybe recalling sweet past memories of her mother. He won't ever be able to smile at her memories. Even at the beautiful moments with her. He didn't want to remember, he wanted to be there. He wanted to be able to hold her, and weave the memories with her.

"How about going to the amusement park?" he asked.

She turned to face him and he noticed the glimmers in her eyes. "Really? You would go there?"

He shrugged. "Why won't I?"

"Don't you think it's childish?"

Yes, he thought so. But anywhere she want to go, he'll follow.

"No."

"Then can we go there now?" she asked hopefully.

Hongki smiled, "but first you need to make a puppy face." and without thinking twice Seolhyun did it. He chuckled.

"You really want to go there, don't you." she nodded eagerly. "Alright, but we need to eat first.."

***

"What a nice day for rides!" Seolhyun exclaimed. Her excitements was contagious. Hongki smiled involuntarily at the way she acted.

"What do you want to ride first?" He asked. She turned to meet his eyes and the way her hair swirled around her made him held his breath. Even for a little thing she did, he thought it was beautiful and perfect. Her smiled widened.

"Can we ride the roller coaster first?"

His smile faltered a bit. Did he heard it wrong?

"Um what?"

She chuckled. "Roller coaster, Hongki-ssi. You asked me what I want to ride first. I choose that!" she pointed to the hell-train that were moving very fast, the riders were screaming for dear life.

He gulped. He was never a fan of heights, and fast rides. Roller coaster was the first in his hate list. "You want to ride that?" She nodded excitedly. "But we just ate. Won't you feel sick?" She shook her head instantly.

"Well, except you don't want to ride it, Hongki-ssi, I will ride it on my own. It's okay." she smiled at him and he returned a forced smile.

"Will you be okay riding it on your own?" he asked and she nodded again.

They queued up with the rest, while Hongki was having a war with his inner self, Seolhyun was already jumping excitedly like a child. It was near their turn, there was a couple who were buying their tickets in front of them. He turned around to see how many people left to buy the ticket and saw a group of guy just behind him. One of the guy was actually checking Seolhyun up and he even stared at her bottom for a while before whispering with his friends. They laughed.

As innocent as she was, she didn't notice what happened behind her back. All she had in her mind was that fast train, how awesome it would be to reach the sky with it.

She turned around and saw him paled, fists were balled like he was angry.

"Hongki-ssi.." she started then the person who sell the tickets called out. "Next."

She turned around and he was still like that, jaws clenched and the fact that she saw anger in his eyes made her nervous.

"Um, Hongki-ssi.." she touched his arm and he blinked, finally returning to the present.

"I will go with you." her eyes went wide. Before he changed his mind he quickly bought the tickets.

"Are you sure you will be fine?" Seolhyun asked after they were seated in their place.

'No,' he thought, but he nodded anyway.

As they were asked to put on the safety, Hongki started to shake his leg nervously. Seolhyun noticed that, so she grabbed his hand and held it.

Hongki was surprised when she held his hand. Butterflies erupted in his stomach, and for a while he forgot about the ride. He looked at her and she smiled at him. He could only pray that she wouldn't hear the thudding of his heart.

He looked down at their hands, how it fit together. How he would do anything just to hold her hand like that forever.

The train started to move, slowly at first and picked up its pace.

His grip on Seolhyun's hand tightened and he held his breath as they were moving towards a high drop. It was then when he closed his eyes and the only sound he heard was the wind and Seolhyun's high pitched scream.

"That was super fun!" Seolhyun said when they finally stopped. She jumped from the seat and walked out. "God, I must try bungee jumping next time."

She heard someone puked his guts out and cursed, and then she realized Hongki wasn't beside her. She turned around and saw him near the bushes, vomiting whatever left from his breakfast.

"Oh my God, Hongki-ssi! Are you okay?" she rushed to his aid. His face was paled and the shine in his eyes vanished. "I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell me you can't stomach fast rides?"

Hongki tried to tell her not to worry, but the feeling inside his stomach surfaced and he was back to vomiting.

"There goes my pancakes, and coffee." he grumbled when he settled down on a park bench. Seolhyun chuckled and excused herself. A while later she returned with a cold bottled water.

"I didn't find any warm beverages.. Is cold water fine?" she asked, giving the bottle to him. He nodded and drank deeply.

"Damn, that is the most embarrassing moment in my entire life." he said with a sigh.

The girl next to him smiled. If it was any other guy she would think the same thing, but it was Hongki, so she kinda thought it was cute.

"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't let you go if you tell me." she asked, already feeling bad.

He leaned back and inhaled deeply. "I saw a group of guys behind us staring at you and I couldn't help it. I didn't like the way they look at you."

Seolhyun blushed. 'So he was jealous?' The thoughts made her smile.

"You held my hand. I'm not scared when you hold my hand. I just have a bad stomach that's all." he said again, and her cheek reddened even more. "Can we do it again?"

"Huh?"

Hongki stared at her before taking her hand and wrapping his hand with hers.

Seolhyun stared at their hands, how her hand was smaller than his, and leaner.

She had always liked to hold her mother's hand. Even when she took her last breath, she clasped her mother's hand tightly between hers. Her mother brought the feeling of love with her that whenever she held her hands, she would feel the unconditional love her mother felt for her.

When her mother died, she thought she wasn't going to feel that same feeling again. Even when she held on her last boyfriend's hand she never felt it, not even once, and it made her think if he really loved her.

Turned out he didn't.

But as she was sitting there, with the guy she'd only met trice, it felt like they were meant to be together. How their hands fitted each other. How she felt the intense feeling she thought she wouldn't feel anymore, the feeling of strong love and ultimate sacrifice. It left her confused but at the same time hoping that he really felt that towards her.

Maybe there's hope.

***

It was nearly dark, and the amusement park started to glow bright with the lights everywhere. Most families had gone home a while back, and couples emerged, somehow managed to fill the surrounding with love. It wasn't helping with Hongki and Seolhyun's case.

They stopped holding hands after eating evening snacks at a snack booth. None of them really had the guts to make the first move so they were left with awkward feelings.

Now that they were walking around, to find a suitable last ride, one that wasn't too sick, and not too boring before calling it a night. Their hands kept brushing, and Hongki was far too distracted to find that last ride.

"Um.." it was the first word since they left the snack booth. He turned to the girl beside him. "How about ferris wheel?"

They had stopped walking, and he just realized it. He looked up and saw the enormous wheel circling slowly, the little cabins swayed as it moved.

He gulped. He wasn't a fan of heights, but it was possibly the very last one that was less intimidating. He turned to face her again and saw her looking hopefully at him. Maybe she was tired of walking or maybe she was already bored of him, who can't ride cool rides. He was scared, but he'd do anything for her.

"Okay, let's go." this time he smiled, not a nervous smile, but a real one. She saw it and returned the smile.

They paid for a ride and waited until the ferris wheel stopped and the passengers walked out. After a long queue, they finally got their own cabin and sat inside.

The wheel started to move and it swayed a little. Hongki closed his eyes and calmed himself. He didn't want to waste any food anymore. After a few breaths, the cabins was finally steady and he could see the amusement park from the view.

He caught Seolhyun looking at him worriedly.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and he nodded. "Really?"

He chuckled, "Yes, really." and she smiled a little.

She looked outside the glass window. "It looked absolutely beautiful from up here."

"I think you're more beautiful."

She turned and caught him staring at her. His look so intense that it left her embarrassed. To her, she was just a plain looking girl, that's why the last guy left her without turning back. But the way Hongki was staring at her, like he can't get enough of her even though they were really surrounded by beautiful lights below.

"I think you're the most beautiful girl I'd ever met. I may not be able to say this everyday, but if I can, I will be happy to." he said, as if he heard her thoughts.

Seolhyun turned away. "Hongki-ssi, you're being funny."

She heard him sigh, and a while later her hands were engulfed in his.

She looked at him in horror as weird imagination started to flash in her mind.

"Hongki-ssi?"

"Listen- we may just met, and I know how strict you are with that beautiful heart of yours.." her stomach fluttered at that simple comment. "but please believe me when I said how important you are to me. Heck, I must be sounding weird right now, you will probably think I am a creep or something. Seolhyun, can't you feel the pull? Don't you feel there's something between us, the sparks when we're near? Because I do."

Hongki stopped for awhile to see her reaction, but she was quiet, so he took that as a sign to continue.

"We might not have all the time in this world, but I'm happy because you agreed to go out with me today. I should thank you for lighting up my days. If I am to die tonight, I'll be leaving with no regrets, seeing that I can hold your hand like this again." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Time is against us all these while, but I'll make it worth the fight. Are you with me?" He watched her with sad eyes, and his heart was thudding hard. What if she reject him? What will he do? He lived for her, he'd give up his life for her, but all of it will be worthless if she didn't love him as much as he did.

Hongki's eyes widened as Seolhyun smiled. The smile that answered everything. It was enough.

***

They were in his car again, as Hongki drove on a familiar road to send her home. The radio was on, and he was hunming to the song happily. She smiled.

She looked at her hands, the ones he held just now. She remembered the words he said in the ferriswheel cabin. He was asking her to be his girlfriend, right? He must be, because there's no other reason for him to say something like..

She glanced to him who was still humming.

Should she ask? Or not?

"Hongki ssi,"

He turned to her and smiled. "Yes?" he reached out and took her hand in his free hand.

That simple gesture made Seolhyun blush.

"I just want to ask.. What do you mean when you said, time is against us all these while? You sounded like you knew me, for a long time." she placed their hands on her lap.

His smile faltered a little. He had done it again, didn't he? He kept saying things he shouldn't say when she's around. With her, he was a mess.

He pulled a neutral face and glanced back at her. Smiling, he said,

"Well, I must have dreamt about you before."

Laugh bubbled out from her chest.

"Hongki, you're too sweet my teeth hurts." she giggled.

Not long after, they arrived in front of her house. He stopped and turned to look at her.

"Thank you for going out with me, it really means a lot." He said.

She smiled. "Thank you too."

"Wanna go out tomorrow? For our first real date." he winked.

She laughed heartily. "Sure Hongki ssi.. This time you pick a place. So I better get inside. Goodnight Hongki ssi." she leaned forward and gave him a peck on his cheek.

"I'll pick you up at nine." he said and she nodded.

"Bye, drive safely."

***

"I'm home." Hongki said, as he closed the front door.

Jaejin poked his head. "Ah, hyung, you're here."

"Yep." He maneuvered to the kitchen and helped himself with a glass of water. "How's signing?"

"It's cool. I'm signed into a band, and I'm the bass guitarist. The other guys are cool too so I think it's fine. But hyung, it's you I'm curious about."

Hongki turned around and saw Jaejin was watching him, his eyes were narrowed as he dunked his hand into the bag of chips.

"What?"

"Where were you hyung? It's past 7." Jaejin said between mouthful of chips.

"Now you're acting like a mom." Hongki rolled his eyes.

"'Cause you seldom stay out late hyung. And we promised for dinner." his friend stared at him grudgingly and Hongki had to strain himself from falling on his butt laughing.

"I went for a date." and suddenly Jaejin's eyes lightened up.

"Really?" Jae asked and he nodded. "Finally, the heavens answered my prayers. When can I see her? I want to meet my future sister in law."

"You're being ridiculous Jae. I better go to sleep before I get infected with your virus. Goodnight. And don't forget to clean your mess." he said, pointing at the unhealthy food Jae had on the coffee table and floor.

"We're having dinner next time hyung. Goodnight!"

Jae replied cheerily before went back to his chips and favourite TV program.

At his room, Hongki stared at the calendar. He already washed up and changed into a comfortable clothes. But before going to sleep, he took the calendar to mark it. His mark had reached 18th of January and now he need to mark another day. He wrote the symbol 'x' on the 19th.

Another day ended, and he grew anxious for the last day. Be it any other guy, they would stop and move on for their own life, but Seolhyun had been the reason why he lived, she was the air, and without her he just wouldn't live a day.

He put the calendar back to where it belonged and went to sleep.