(Arjun's)

The fact that I am a hypocrite came as a bit of realization for me on my 17th birthday. It was a bit of a shame for me actually. Because I was so confident and criticized Suhana for being selfish and all. Actually, I was pretty damn selfish as well. Just did not realize the intensity of it.

We do many things in daily life, and do not pay attention if our action is kind of selfish... No, it is not a bad thing. If we do each thing after carefully analyzing if our action will hurt someone or not, then we might end up never doing anything. If we try to please everyone and only do things to please others, we might as well be sad in the end...

But...all of us, daily do things that might be slightly selfish, or just an action to gain something for us... So, I did not really think about my past actions as 'selfish'.

In class 9th, I sat in class looking at how Ishan and Suhana were talking or laughing in the class-time or breaks. I liked Suhana, so it softly bothered me. On the first day of class 10, I sat beside Suhana, to talk to her about something. I saw Ishan walking into the class... Maybe the selfless, right thing to do was to get up and free the seat for him.

But why should I? It was not like Ishan and Suhana were a couple or anything. They were just friends. I was her friend too. So why should I get up and leave the seat for him? Yeah...he might have a crush on her. But I had as well. So... there was no reason for me to get up and leave the seat for him, did I?? So I did not leave. There was no reason for me to vacate that seat.

Like that, I ended up sitting beside Suhana for three years in a row. Yeah, about at the middle of 11th, I did start to get irritated at Suhana and lost that old crush and all. Still, I didn't want to let Ishan or Jiggy sit beside her even in 12th. Maybe...because, even when the childish crush for Suhana was gone, something more serious, something deeper had developed in me for Suhana.

And that something deeper had now, secured its place and dug deep with its roots spreading all over. Now it was not – 'she is pretty; I wish if she was my girlfriend'. Now it was – 'she is my girl, not because she is pretty, because she is Suhana, that selfish, slightly snob, a bit boring brat that fought with me and makes me irritated and worried for her. She is mine and I don't have a doubt about how we will get together someday, will marry, will have kids, and will eventually get old and die with each other...'

Yeah... I was pretty sure and pretty serious about my feelings now. It was she or no one else.

On the morning of my birthday, I stepped out of my apartment to take the newspaper as the door to the twins' apartment opened and Adithi ran out, and I saw Suhana at the door calling out, "buy a Ponds Whitening Cream as well. You know, right, the one in the pink bottle..."

I chuckled. Suhana's face was covered with some green stuff. Face pack.

"Hi, Arjun," Adithi called as she ran. "Happy Birthday... See you at school."

I watched Suhana gasping and trying to hide behind the door.

"I saw you already," I called to her.

She came out from behind the door.

"Why are you scaring people so early in the morning?" I asked, "thought you were an alien."

"I can't actually frown with this thing on... Still, just know that I wanted to frown." She said.

I chuckled.

"Goodbye. See you at school." She ran inside. I laughed as she went, then she came back, "Ah yea...Happy Birthday." She added and ran inside closing the door.

At the lunch break, after finishing food, I was sort of napping on my desk. Suhana was solving some math problems as usual. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel her presence...

I gently opened my eyes and watched her. She was really concentrating on the math problems. I lay there watching her. After some seconds she looked at me.

"What?" She mouthed.

I shook my head, "nothing."

She smiled and looked back into her book.

At night it was my birthday party. We were celebrating it in my room. I had gone to the kitchen to get some more chips and cola, and came back and saw Ishan and Suhana sitting really close by, and Ishan was showing something to Suhana on his mobile. I felt a bit irritated... The way he was close to her.

"What is it?" I asked, going and sitting next to Suhana.

"Ah... Ish was just showing me this new game." Suhana said looking at me. "Sounds cool."

"You hate video games, right?" I asked her.

"Not exactly. I think it's bad for health. Because it can be addicting." She pushed a lock of her hair to the back of her ears. "You know Adithi had got so addicted to a computer game when we were in 6th, remember?"

"It was so worth to get addicted to that game." Adithi frowned. "I still love that game."

"The one that got erased from your computer?" Ishan asked Adithi.

"Yeah," She said. "I still wish if I can find that game back. But it's not available for sale anymore... And we even lost the CD of it to install... And... how much I miss it." She made a longing face... "If anyone could gift me that on our birthday."

"Speaking of that..." Ishan said, "Suhana, what do you want for your birthday?"

I hated the soft tone in which he spoke to her. Okay...I knew always that Ishan likes her as well. But it's bothering me now. I don't want him to look at her, to talk to her in this soft way...

And that's when I realized that I was selfish. I wanted Suhana to be mine only. But Ishan, Jiggy and Farhan were Suhana's friends... Naturally, they will talk to her. And their emotions are theirs. I do not have any right to say what they should feel and what they should not feel.

Still, when Ishan's hand slightly brushed with Suhana's as he was trying to reach for a chips packet, I felt irritated...and anxious. I really was okay, if Ishan had no interest in Suhana, but that was not the case here. He likes her. And that makes me want to keep him as much away from Suhana as possible. I wanted him to stop liking her, to stop talking to her in that gentle manner, to stop helping her and smiling at her...

I watched Ishan and Suhana laughing together...

And No. I am not that cool and kind person. I didn't care if I was being mean... It does not suit me to sit and sulk.

Ishan likes cameras and stuff. Like actually like the mechanics of it.

"Hey," I called him, and took out my old camera from the drawer, "This thing is not working properly... Can you find out what's wrong with it?" I asked.

"Really?" Ishan asked, as shifted his seat from near Suhana's to the chair near me. I handed him the camera. "Yeah... something is wrong with the zoom."

"Oh..." He began to examine the camera. "I should take a picture with it to see, I guess." He began to focus on Suhana. She smiled posing for the photo. I jumped and sat near Suhana, where Ishan sat previously... And smiled posing for the camera, giving a victory sign.

Ishan clicked the photos. "The zoon is working fine." He said, looking at me.

"Really? I wonder why it didn't work back when I checked. Seems like it got okay now." I said shrugging. "Do we have more chips?" I turned to take the chips packet. And I was not planning to get up from my seat...

Ishan kept sitting in the chair and later went and joined Adithi on the floor. I sat near Suhana, with evil satisfaction.

Okay, so I am a jerk. And there was actually nothing wrong with the camera at all...

I watched Ishan and Adithi bickering over something.

"Don't you think they might make a good pair?" I asked Suhana.

"Who? Them?" She asked me as if I have gone mental.

"Why? They are always together you know..."

"I know. But I don't think Ishan is interested in Adithi that way." She said. Yeah, I know that as well. But...it would be good if Suhana thinks that Ishan and Adithi could be a cute pair.

I looked at Suhana and she was curiously staring at me.

"What?" I asked her. It felt like she had figured out my plan.

"You are a bit..."

"I know," I said. "Don't bring it up."

She just gave a 'ha' sound, meaning 'unbelievable'.

But I knew now... When it came to her, I was mean and selfish and cruel. And I didn't really care. I did not want to lose her to anyone. And all is fair in love and war.