(Arjun)

I ran and caught her hand. She jerked her hand away from me.

"Listen to me," I said taking hold of her hand again.

Suhana turned to me with anger in her eyes, "Listen to what?"

"I know I behaved like a jerk back there," I told her.

"Then why did you do it?" She asked.

I clutched my head. I was going really mental as well. I was really at my limits as well...

"I am tired of it now..." I said mumbled. And I was really tired of everything now.

"Are you okay?" Suhana asked me, now in a concerned voice.

"No," I said.

Suhana looked calm now. Not angry. "Come with me." She said, taking my hand. She led me to her house. I was a bit confused now. Because as far as I know, her parents were out. Adithi was downstairs, and so...we two alone? In the house??? What's the meaning of this???

"Sit," he said. I sat on the couch. She let her laptop down and sat beside me.

"What's going on?" She asked, in a serious tone.

"Can't you see? A fight is going on." I said.

"I mean with you...What's going on?" She asked.

Yeah... What's going on with me? Nice question. Even I would like to know that.

"I know that we are all stressed because of Farhan. We all miss him." Suhana said. "And it's really really sad. For everyone... That's why all of you are acting this way, I think... Childishly, just letting your frustration out on other things and people..." She said. I did agree with that. I was going crazy thinking about Farhan and feeling bad for him. I wanted him back. But there was nothing I could do to help. Life had torn out a part of us from all of us... And it hurt like hell. That's why...

But for me, things were messed up even before that. Ishan.... Didn't even say one word to me, during this whole event. It's been months since my confession to Suhana, and Adithi's accident. Still...Ishan. Not even a word. What the hell did I do so wrong?? If he was in my position, would he have not done the same or similar???

And now Jiggy as well...

"They think I am a jerk," I said, clutching my head. It hurt... They two were my best friends. But they think I am an asshole.

I felt it was okay at first, to be the bad guy. It felt good to let down my frustration with the other two linings Suhana, on that day. So I freely let my feelings out and pushed Ishan away from her. I had thought back then, it was okay... That he might understand as time pass. Or that I will be okay even if he doesn't talk to me ever. I thought I was okay being the jerk and getting hated by him – them, Jiggy included.

But...that was not the case. Ishan never talked to me after that... And it hurt more than I expected. More than hurting, I was lonely...

After that Farhan went that way... And now, Jiggy as well.

"Those two...just, really..." I felt really like crying. I needed my friends back. But... Those two think I am the lowest creature on earth. "So I just wanted to prove to them that I am."

"What kind of a theory is that?" Suhana asked, "if they think that you are bad, you should prove to them that you are not, right? Instead, what's the point in establishing that you are bad?"

When she puts it like that, it actually doesn't make any sense.

"I don't know. I was angry." I said. "And if they want to think that..go ahead and think that freely."

"So you kissed me to show that you are a jerk?" Suhana asked.

"Also... to show them that you are mine," I said. It's childish. I know. But I feel uneasy. Not knowing what exactly is going on in their minds. Wondering if they actually hate me because of Suhana. Even if it sounds stupid, worried if their leftover feelings for her can negatively affect my relationship with her. And I felt they have leftover feelings. Ishan can easily start a relationship with Adithi, but he is not doing that. Wasn't that because he still has feelings for Suhana? And, Jiggy...he was totally doing whatever he is doing because of his heartbreak over Suhana.

"Childish," Suhana said.

"I know," I said. "But... I am sort of all messed up right now."

She sort of hugged me from sideways.

"What's so complicated?" She asked. "Just talk with them and solve the fight."

"I wish." I said, "But what can I do when they think I am an asshole?" I asked, "Ah...when I start to think maybe I should talk to them, I see the way they glare at me and feel all angry and irritated again. Then I do something that will make them think I am actually an asshole."

It feels better to seem like I don't care at all than to get hurt by trying to apologize to them and makeup. Also, my ego stands in the way to seem weak and hurt by their hatred.

"I felt it was better to pretend that I don't really care at all what they think," I said.

Suhana looked at me. I turned to look at her. "I am fine. I am fine as long as I have you. If you are by my side, I am okay." I said.

"I know very well that you are not okay," She said. "Don't pretend to be all cool and strong."

I let down my head again. Yeah... I was not really okay. I missed the old times. When we six used to hang out, and Farhan was there. And Adithi was not hurt because of me and, Ishan and Jiggy did not hate me. I missed those days so badly.

But I was sure those days were gone forever now. Nothing is going to be the same anymore. Farhan was gone... God knows, how he is handling the prison life. The thought of him sends a shot of pain through all of our minds, I am sure it was the same with the rest of us as well. Also, indeed, I had hurt Ishan and Jiggy that day and, Adithi did get hurt and almost died, and the boys hate me now.

Nothing was going to be the same anymore.

Suhana hugged me again. I was sure I looked like I might break down. I turned and hugged her properly. Trying to tell me that at least I have her. And I was okay as long as I have her.

After a while, Suhana parted away from me. "You feel better?" She asked. I nodded.

"But by the way, how did you end up fighting with Jiggy as well?" She asked.

"He thinks I looked down upon him and all because I didn't first believe in it when he told us he slept with his girlfriend."

"Jiggy slept with his girlfriend?" Suhana's eyes went wide.

"It's a shock for you too right?" I asked her.

"Yeah..." She said.

"See... I was also just shocked like this, coz it's Jiggy. But then he was saying all like I look down upon him and think he is not capable of doing that, and I'm jealous of him and whatsoever." I said.

Suhana thought for a while.

"I think if we give him some time, Jiggy will come to understand..."

Maybe.

"So...if you are done then go home." She said, "I need to study."

"Can't I stay a while longer?" I asked her. "I will behave, I promise. You go on - study. I will just sit near you."

"No. Go home." She said.

"Just for a while longer."

"I said I need to study."

"I won't disturb you."

"No. No." She pushed me, "Go. I won't be able to concentrate with you here."

That sounded good. "Really?" I tested her.

"Go." She laughed, pulling me up and leading me to the door.

"Okay okay..." I said turning to her, as she was about to push me out of the door, "One kiss... Just one. Then I will leave. I promise."

She seemed to be considering that. I moved closer.

"Okay," she said, and tip towed and pressed a kiss to my lips. I was surprised for a second, but then she pulled back. It ended too quickly. Not enough... I wanted more. "Done, go now..." she said. She pushed me out of the house and closed the door.

No way. Not enough... Wanted more. I was going crazy from wanting to kiss more. Touch her more...

But as I had no other choice, I went home.

I lay awake that night thinking about things. About Ishan and Jiggy. Then though – go to hell with them. If they don't want me, I don't want them either. I have Suhana. That's all I need.

I took my mobile and messaged her. It was 12 am. But I was hoping she was awake, studying.... 

I pressed the video call icon on Whatsapp. Suhana took the call.

"Hey..." she said. What the hell, she seems so happy and shy, even when she sounded a bit strict and cold in the messages. So all that was pretence? She really wanted to see me too...?? I could die.

"It feels weird to have video call when you are like just a few meters and two walls away," I told her.

She shrugged... "Ah...since the internet is kind of slow and coming and going, the call might get disconnected," she said. "And keep your voice down, Adithi is sleeping."

I could see Adithi sleeping under a blanket on the bed behind Suhana.

"So?" Suhana asked.

"What were you studying?"

And like that, we talked for about two or two and half hours. After that, the internet connection to Suhana's home got down again. So we quit talking and went to sleep.