13

Crush ko po si Captain Yoo.
Shoutout sa baliw kong kaibigan. Yeonnie~~

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I really don't know what to say or how to start. I don't even have any fucking clue on how to erase everything that I am feeling right now. I might not know my first step, but I know I must start now. I have to get rid of my addiction.

My Mom was like me. She was also desperate for Papa. She loved Papa until she was left with nothing. Like mother, like daughter nga talaga, hindi ba? Maybe her story gave me a silent hope. Umasa din akong katulad ni Papa, matututunan din ni Seven na mahalin ako. I want to be seen as a woman, not a child. Pero sa aspetong ito nagkakaiba ang kwento namin ni Mama. My story does not have its own fairytale like ending.

Inayos ko lahat ng pinturang nagamit ko sa pagpipinta. Tomorrow, Kuya Caius will come and take me home. Ito na ang huling araw ko sa Italy. Soon, I will be gone. My fairytale is now about to end. Clearly, I am Eponine. Akala ko ay mababago ko ang kwento but I was wrong. Until now, Marius still loves Cosette.

Pinunasan ko ang kumapit na pintura sa kamay ko habang nakatitig sa painting ko. I painted the seven stars. This is my last painting for him. This is the last time I will do something for him. I might be his Eponine, his unrequited love. But after this, I promise that I will be somebody's Cosette. I will find my own Marius. Hindi ko na ipipilit ang sarili ko sa iba. I will take love and give love willingly. I will no longer force it down somebody else's throat.

Kinuha ko iyong canvass ko at umalis sa may garden. Magmula kahapon noong nagkasagutan kami ni Seven ay hindi pa kami nag uusap. But I have to do this. I need this closure. Isang beses ko pang isasampal sa sarili ko na hanggang dito lang talaga ako.

Kumatok ako sa opisina niya at narinig ko ang pagpapapasok niya sa akin. I peeked inside and saw him staring at his laptop. Tuluyan na akong pumasok at doon pa lang niya ako tiningnan.

"Chantal? What are you doing here?" he asked. Lumapit ako sa lamesa niya at inilapag ang painting ko. Tinitigan niya iyon kaya tumikhim ako.

"That's for you." I said. Tiningala niya ako habang nakakunot noo.

"Why?"

I just smiled. "When we were still a kid, you taught me the legend of the seven stars. You told me that if you wish under the seven stars on the seventh day of the seventh month, your wish will come true. Eversince then, I made a wish. I wished for you."

I breathe hard. I can feel the sides of my eyes burning. Di ako nainform na ganito pala kahirap ang closure. Kaya pala iyong iba ay basta na lang bumibitaw.

"I don't understand Chantal."

'Is it hard to believe I'm okay
After all, it's been awhile
Since you walked away
I'm way past crying
Over you finding someone new
You turned my days into nights (days into nights)
But now I see the light
And this maybe a big surprise to you'

"I realized that I have been living in fantasies eversince I learned the legend of the seven stars. Maybe you are right, Seven. I am still a child. I am still a firm believer of dreams and pixie dust. Pero alam mo, I will change na. I will be someone who will believe in the harsh reality. Kaya I am giving it back to you." I said and pushed the painting more to him.

"Cha..."

"I went here because I know I have to try. I went here just to be with you. I did not realize that you did not want me to be here. You don't want to be with me. I get it now Seven." anas ko. Seven kept staring at me. He was looking at me as if I was a two headed snake.

"I'm sorry I forced myself to you. I'm sorry I almost ruined you and Allanis. I came here to give you this.." tinapik ko iyong painting. Tiningnan niya rin iyon.

"Binabalik ko na iyong seven stars sayo. I'm done wishing."

His mouth opened, and closed, and opened repeatedly. Pero wala siyang kahit anong sinabi. I smiled at him. Lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya ng mahigpit. I closed my eyes tightly because I don't want to cry. But my tears are stubborn. Tumulo rin iyon.

"Chantal, don't cry." aniya habang hinahaplos ang likod ko. Lumayo na ako sa kanya at pinaypayan ang sarili ko.

"Sorry. I never planned to cry.I just did not expect this to be... to be..." painful, I almost said. Huminga ako ng malalim bago ngumiti. "I did not expect it to be this hard." sabi ko na lamang. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at hinarap siyang muli.

"This will be the last time I will cry for you Seven Montreal." I said. Lalong lumalim iyong kunot sa noo niya habang nakatingin sa akin.

'Cause you made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You ended my life
And made a better one start
You taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes, you made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye'

"Someday, I will be able to face you without crying. Makakapag move on din ako. Tatawagin na rin kitang kuya." pagbibiro ko. Tiningnan ko ulit iyong painting ko sa mesa niya.

"Mauuna na ako." paalam ko. I turned my back on him and went out. Noong nakalabas ako ay doon ko lang narealoze na ito pala ang unang pagkakataon na ako ang naunang umalis. It has always him who leaves first.

Well, this is a start.

When I was young, I promised the seven stara that I will win his heart. Now that I am older, I admit defeat under the same stars.

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Maaga akong nagising kinabukasan. Nakakahiya naman kay Kuya. Baka masyado siyang matagalan sa paghihintay sa akin, iwan pa niya ako.

Nasa tabi ko na ang mga maleta ko habang hinihintay si Kuya sa lobby ng resort. While I was waiting, the employees started lining up at every side of the double doors. Sinilip ko sila na kinakabahan. What is happening?

"She'll have a double door entrance, Sir." narinig kong sabi ni Bullet. Nilingon ko sila ni Kuya Seth na nagmamadaling naglalakad papunta sa entrance.

"Where are my brothers?" Tanong ni Kuya Seth. Napanguso lang si Bullet bago napapadyak.

"Pati ba naman paghahanap sa mga kapatid mo Sir , ako pang gagawa? Palagi na lang akong natetake advantage Sir. Maawa naman kayo." reklamo nito. I just smiled. Ang cute ni Bullet.

"Elizabeth!" sigaw ni Kuya Seth. Nanlaki ang mata ni Bullet bago pinalo ang bibig ni Kuya.

"Sir naman! Huwag mo akong tinatawag sa totoo kong pangalan! Tunog virgin! Kadiri! Ito na nga sabi eh!! Hahanapin ko na sila!!" maingay na sabi ni Bullet at umalis na. Natawa na talaga ako sa reaksyon nito.

Pabalibag na binuksan ng kung sino man iyong pintuan. The sound of heels meeting the tiled floor was all I can hear. I looked at the person who just came. Her long red dress was flowing while she's flipping her hair.

"Serise!" Seven shouted from nowhere. He opened his arms wide and ran to Ate Serise. Papalapit pa lang ito ng tinitigan siya ng masama ni Ate.

"Huwag mo akong lapitan. Ayaw kong nilalapitan ng mga taong bobo." mataray nitong sabi. Dinaanan niya si Seven na napahiya.

"Nag aaway na naman kayo?" salubong ni Kuya Shawn. Tumaas ang kilay ni Ate.

"Isa ka pa. You're both stupid." naiinis na sabi ni Ate Serise. Natawa si Kuya Seth sa gilid at lumapit na.

"Kuya Seth!" sigaw ni Ate at yumakap kay Kuya. Hala, bakit siya lang ang niyakap.

"Kuya ipatapon mo nga yang dalawang yan. Ayaw ko ng kapatid na stupid. And your employees did not open the doors for me! Nagasgas yung hands ko!" tuloy tuloy niyang reklamo.

"Anong ginawa namin sayo? Why are you mad? And why are you here?" Kuya Shawn asked.

"Huwag mo akong kausapin. I don't talk to dumb people. Shoo! Evaporate!" pagtataboy ni Ate. Inikot niya ang paningin niya na para bang may hinahanap. Noong makita niya ako ay napatili siya. Tumakbo siya papunta sa akin at hinila ako.

"Ready ka na? Let's go!" she told me. Kinalabit niya iyong isang lalaking empleyado.

"Carry her bags." utos niya at hinila na naman ako palabas.

"Wait! Where are you going?" pigil ni Seven sa amin. Ate Serise stopped.

"We're going home." sagot ni Ate. Napatingin si Seven sa akin.

"Chantal, uuwi ka na?"hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong. Tumango lang ako.

"You see Seven, you just threw her. You just threw the best thing that could have ever happen to you. Kaya wag na wag kang humarang sa dinadaanan namin kasi pupukpukin kita ng takong ko!" Ate shouted. Tinulak niya si Seven at lumabas na kami. Sa tabi ng kotse ay nakita ko ang Kuya ko. I immediaty ran to him and hugged him tight.

"Is he inside?" galit na tanong ni Kuya. Sinapok lang ni Ate si Kuya Caius.

"Kaya nga kita hindi pinapasok para peaceful eh. Huwag kang makikipag away Caius Ezekiel. Sa sobrang inis ko baka tulungan pa kitang saktan ang kapatid ko." sabi ni Ate at sumakay na sa kotse. Sumunod naman ako habang si Kuya ay nakatingin pa rin sa resort. Ilang sandali lang ay pumasok na siya at pinaandar ang sasakyan.

Noong palayo na kami ay naluluha ulit ako. I can't imagine that I am already leaving him. This is my first step.

"Don't cry." tawag ni Ate sa akin. She's fixing her hair but she's actually talking to me.

"Po?"

"I said, don't cry. Never cry for someone whl never sees your worth. It's their loss, not yours." matapang niyang sabi. I felt Kuya's hand on mine. Sinandal ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.

Yes, I won't cry.

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Song Used:

You Made Me Stronger