Nagoya, 18 June 1989

Dear Ayumi,

It is Tuesday.
He's gone since two days.
Even though he'd be so happy right now.
But we are begrudged luck, otherwise he'd be still here, am I right?
Normally we'd gone to the grassland today.
We'd have looked at all flowers and he would've told me everything about them, his genuine exaltation always had been so unbelievable sweet, I feel in love with it over and over again.

There was a bird in front of the window a moment ago.

It could resemble a phoenix, so majestic.
Feng would have laughed at me now.
"It was way too small to be a phoenix" he'd say.
And that even though his hands many a time seemed so small n mine but still were the most supple ones I've ever touched.

Did you know that you alone will be my heir?
Albeit I do not have very much left.
Not even the colours in my world are in place like they used to be, everything seems so grey.
I am still here for him.
I am doing my best to not disappoint him.

Love,

Tadao