A brisk February's breeze brought snow dancing gracefully through the graveyard behind Blackwater's only church. The morning service was only just being prepared, but Hazel Von Brandt already stood at its doors wearing too many coats and a muff over her hands. She reached up to one of the knockers, announcing her arrival. One of the giant wooden doors creaked open inside, allowing her shelter from the unrelenting storm outside.

Hazel lifted the front of her dress just enough to allow her to dash all the way to the frontmost pew. It was her favorite one, and the one she needed most--- right before a statue of Christ on the cross. As she sat down, she placed her coats beneath the bench and fixed her wavy blonde hair.

Slow footsteps came up the center aisle before stopping beside Hazel. She did not look away from the statue.

"You're here early, Miss Von Brandt," he said, his voice cutting through the dry air like knives, "is there a reason?"

Hazel hesitated as he moved to rest the palm of his hand on the back of the pew.

"It's been three years and I'm still lost. I've tried everything you told me, I've prayed more, talked to people, everything," Hazel explained.

Her voice wavered with every word as if she were fighting a battle with a flood of tears. A solemn silence soon replaced her voice, haunting the hall with only the sound of wind howling against the stone walls.

"Why does it feel like... like I shouldn't be here? There's a sort of emptiness, I guess you could say, that I'm trapped in. And I can't escape, no matter what I do."

Reverend Johann sighed and gazed at the statue with his amber eyes, which shone with an otherworldly light that Hazel could just barely notice. She ignored it, instead focusing on her pastor, who stood deep in thought with his head in his hands.

A firm hand grasped Hazel's arm, making her yelp in shock. She looked up to see Reverend Johann looking down at her with those eerily orange eyes.

"You said you feel lost?" he asked quietly.

Hazel nodded, turning her head to the floor. Johann thought for another moment before giving his response.

"I think you need to take the time to find yourself. You can't expect to find your way out of this emptiness you describe if you don't even know what's on the other side," he spoke.

His tone was one of sudden regality and strength, one which lifted Hazel's spirits just a little even through that somber morning.

"Perhaps you should look to the heavens tonight. Ask the Lord for a sign, and I'm sure he'll give you something."

With that, he turned his back and left for the room behind the altar. Hazel was alone, with nothing but the statue's lifeless face piercing her soul. A shudder slithered down her spine like some horrid snake. Something was off, but she couldn't quite put it out. She put the thought beside her and continued to the very reason she came to the church in the first place.

Hazel piled her layers back on and opened the doors to the frigid cold. The near-whiteout conditions were practically blinding, only the darker colors visible against the icy storm. To her left, the path to the graveyard could still be seen through the newly fallen snow.

Her feet sunk into the snowy ground with every step she took, leaving deep footprints behind her. The bitter wind nipped at her ears, but she pushed through. It was three years to the day--- the twenty-third of February.

She barely even needed her sight to find that spot she dreaded so much. Her legs guided her without any thought to the two graves that had torn her life into pieces. Hazel knelt at the stone on the left, the one she needed to see that day; the grave of Victoria Elise Von Brandt.

Hazel had worn all black that day, without a single speck of her usual reds and browns. Her hair stuck out against her dress was a full moon on a clear night, bright and contrasting in a striking yet beautiful way. She pushed her hair behind her ears and brushed the accumulating snow off the stone and its twin.

"I wish you were here with me today, like I always do," Hazel said, her voice breaking, "You always loved Sundays, getting to dress up and having Mom make us a nice brunch after church..."

The wind picked up once more, the sound of ice skidding across the ground tagging alongside it. It was time to go home, and she knew for a fact that she would not be returning for the service.

"I'm so sorry, I really am," Hazel whispered.

Standing up, she brushed the snow off her dress and leggings before putting her hands back in the warmth of her muff. It would be a long twenty minute hike through the snow before she reached the safety of a cozy fire, a walk she had already done only fifteen minutes or so before. Hazel took a deep and annoyed sigh as her exhaustion began to set it. Still, she had to go.

Hazel kept her eyes in front of her, not letting her sight off her next step and cursing her lack of a car. In those Albertan winter storms, black ice would appear everywhere, nature's ninjas just waiting patiently to take their next victim sliding down the sidewalk.

It wasn't long before her walk was interrupted by the familiar rumble of a truck's engine.

"Are you crazy? Get in here, you idiot!"

Her best friends had managed to find her, and as she turned around to face the sound, she could see all three of them waiting patiently for her. The driver, Lauren, grinned and motioned to the backseat, where the last available spot was. Of course, Hazel dashed in without a second thought. Anything was better than walking in that hell.

"I really shouldn't be here," Hazel said quietly, "I promised my mother I would go to church and back, no other stops."

Lauren laughed, the worries fading away with her light yet strong voice.

"Don't you worry, we'll drop you off before we head back to my place. Just sit tight, okay? It's not good for you to be in that cold."

It wasn't as if Hazel had much of a choice. She sat back, closing her eyes and trying not to think about the day.

"Is it... that day?" the soft voice of Venice DeRusso said, choosing her words carefully.

Hazel nodded, opening her eyes and glancing at the girl beside her before returning to her stupor.

"Oh, jeez, I'm sorry," Iain's rough voice muttered from the passenger seat.

The time since she last saw her three best friends at once was more than she could count. It was the last day of February break, and they had all been too busy to spend much time with each other. Even still, Hazel's mind irked with annoyance.

"Can I just have some quiet? I'll talk to you guys later."

Hazel hopped out of the truck, thanking Lauren before carefully making her way to the front door of her family's old farmhouse. Her cheeks were flushed a deep red that made her look as if she had piled on enough makeup to gain weight. She threw the door open to the living room, where her mother was sat watching TV while waiting for her daughter's return.

"Hazel, are you alright? You look freezing," her mother said, fixing her posture.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Hazel muttered.

Lazily, she threw her coats onto the coat rack and slumped down onto the far-too-squishy couch. She pulled down a real bear-fur blanket from its back and wrapped herself in its warmth, covering her face.

"Come out of there," her mother nagged.

Hazel groaned, but complied.

"Did the Reverend say anything while you were there?"

A deep pit formed in Hazel's chest as she attempted to speak. She turned her head to the side awkwardly and grumbled once again.

"No, didn't even go inside. Johann wasn't there yet."

"Reverend Johann," her mother corrected, "does that mean you'll come with me today?"

Hazel shook her head and buried herself in the bear skin once again. Her mother didn't even bother trying to get her to stop this time.

"Well, just let me know if you change your mind."

It wouldn't change. She had other plans anway, if about twenty seconds of planning counted as such. Hazel pulled out her phone from her dress pocket and opened up her group chat.

My place at 10? Got a weird story and need to share.

Setting her phone on vibrate, she set it next to her on the table and watched it like a hawk for an incoming message. It was nine-thirty, and her mother was already grabbing her keys to leave.

"I'll be running a few errands in Edmonton after church, so I should be back around five. Is that alright with you?"

Hazel could hardly keep in her grin. She nodded, and as her mother shut the door behind her, she snatched her phone again and furiously began typing out another message.

How about 945?

She pushed herself off the couch, stretching her arms over her head and letting out a yawn filled with all the exhaustion from the trek to the church. The dress she was wearing was beautiful, and Victoria would have approved of it, but it wasn't nearly as comfortable as she'd like. It was a little too tight around the hips, a little too loose around the top, and worst of all, it had no red. She'd had her formal mourning. The rest of the day, she'd just need to distract herself, and there was no better way to do that than by spending her time with those she loved most; her three best friends. Hazel lazily dragged her feet up the stairs, pausing at the landing.

There were four rooms on the upper floor. All had their doors wide open, letting the morning sun flood the hall. Except for one, which remained untouched for so long that a city of dust had formed on the handle.. Hazel turned her head away from it as she cut into her bedroom. It felt wrong being near that closed door any longer than she needed to be.

Rummaging through her built-in drawers, she grabbed a simple pair of dark-washed jeans and a plain red sweatshirt. Hazel pulled her thick blonde hair into a ponytail, but as soon as she sat down on her bed to relax, the doorbell rang.

On the porch were her three closest friends, Lauren Gossier, Venice DeRusso, and Iain Jeung, all huddled under a blanket crusted with frozen snow.

"Come on, Haze, we're nearly frozen out here!" Venice cried dramatically.

Hazel rolled her eyes, though she immediately unlocked the door and let them in the house. The three others sat down on the large couch she'd made her home just minutes before, and Hazel moved to a cozy armchair against the adjacent wall. Wind howled against the walls, making the lights flicker as if they were in the middle of an old horror film.

"So, what's going on?" Lauren asked, a somewhat-forced grin across her face.

Hazel bit her lip. She wasn't expecting to deal with this again so quickly.

"You know what day it is, right?"

There was a deafening silence as realization set in to her friends. They nodded in unison.

"You told us before we dropped you off," Iain said.

Hazel gave a weak smile.

"Well, I went to church early this morning to visit the graveyard, right? It was damn cold though, so I made a new plan. I knocked on the door just in case someone was there, since it's usually just the kooky old ladies there that early, but Johann was the only one there," Hazel explained.

"Johann's the hot one, right?" Venice teased.

"No!" Hazel snapped frustratedly, "he's like forty. Anyways, I mentioned that I was feeling lost and he told me that I should find myself before the way out, I guess. And get this. He told me to look to the heavens tonight, not Heaven, for a clue. Like, what pastor says that?"

Iain and Venice glanced at each other wordlessly. He'd already started braiding her hair as he so often did. Lauren had a boyish haircut that couldn't be played with, and he'd learned the hard way that Hazel did not like her hair to be touched.

"Oh, right."

Iain was the only one in their little group of friends to come from an atheist family and Venice's was Catholic and went to a different church. Lauren, however...

"He's been really reclusive lately. My mom's tried to talk to him after service a couple times but he acts preoccupied with something else, she said, "he hasn't even been doing his little listening-to-an-audiobook-on-the-porch-and-pretending-he's-not-cold thing."

"Even I noticed that. I always see him at the library, but he hasn't been in a couple weeks," Iain added.

There was a worried pause as the four fell deep in thought.

"But do you think I should do what he said? I mean, it's super overcast and I doubt I'll be able to see more than one or two stars if it starts to clear up."

Venice grinned.

"Do it. I'm sure he has our best interests at heart, like you've always said he has."

Iain shrugged and Lauren just pointed at Venice with a nod. An awkward silence filled the room as Iain finished Venice's braid and the others just began to doze off.

"Want some cocoa?" Hazel asked, trying to break the silence.

Of course, her question was met with near-instantaneous enthusiasm.

Reunited for the second time that day, the four friends laughed and joked together, talking about life, school, family, and whatever else came to mind.

"So, how's your girlfriend?" Lauren teased, elbowing her younger friend in the side.

Venice flushed bright red.

"She's not my girlfriend, she's just--- we're just close."

A mischievous grin stretched across Lauren's face.

"You sure 'bout that? I coulda sworn I saw you two all over each other at the---"

"Shush!" Venice muttered.

"Wait, you've got a girlfriend? Ha! I thought you'd be on your own forever!" Hazel joked.

"I said, she's not my... oh, whatever."

Iain snickered into his cocoa, nearly spilling it on the shirt beneath his black motorcycle jacket. It was a perfect afternoon, so much so that Hazel almost forgot about the darkness and deep sorrow creeping from the date on the calendar.

Life for Hazel and her friends revolved around the holidays like the earth around the sun. They were the times they could get away for days at a time, make memories to share and joke about for the rest of the year, and most importantly, take a break from stress. Venice and Iain were already being bombarded by colleges trying to get them in (most of which Iain complained were just trying to get him for diversity) and Hazel had just simply fallen behind in classwork.

"So, Iain, got any plans for spring break?" Hazel piped up after a sip.

"You know I do," he said happily, "visiting my cousins in South Korea for a week!"

Mild disappointment plagued the air.

"I haven't seen them in ages, okay? And it's not like I had any choice," Iain said.

"Well, it sounds like a fun time... got any cute cousins?" Lauren teased.

Hazel gave her friend a sharp elbow in the side, who snickered and sipped her drink with a smirk across her face.

"What can I say, I'm me!"

"Do you have anything planned, Haze?" Venice asked, clearly trying to turn the conversation around.

"Not really. Probably locking myself in my roo and watching TV the whole time," she said monotonously, "unless something really strange happens."

The four chuckled, letting those words drift away, forgotten.

~~~

The end of the day came around much too quickly for Hazel's liking. Before she knew it, the clock chimed four thirty; the signal for her friends to head back to Lauren's for a little extra time together. Of course, Hazel would be left behind.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, I guess," she sighed, watching the truck rumble on its way out of the driveway.

After that day three years ago, Hazel's mother, Tunnuk Von Brandt, would not let her only living child go anywhere past sundown. Not after Victoria. And it wasn't long after the realization of loneliness set in that the hollow feeling returned to her soul.

Hazel gave a small hmph and began to tidy the mess the four of them had made over the past few hours. Blankets hanging limp halfway off chairs, pillows sandwiched between cushions, and dishes scattered all over the house were only a fraction of the carnage. While she worked, Reverend Johann's words repeated themselves in her mind over and over again.

"You can't expect to find your way out of this emptiness you describe if you don't even know what's on the other side," she wondered aloud, "what the heck is that supposed to mean?"

The front door creaked open, sending a flurry of snow dancing into the living room. Tunnuk, holding more groceries than anyone could reasonably carry, slowly stumbled inside and shut the door with her toe.

"I'm home," Hazel's mother called, putting down the bags and letting out a groan of relief.

"Cool."

Hazel dragged herself into the kitchen to help with the groceries. However, upon seeing a bouquet of pink and white roses, her arms dropped like dead weights. She shook it off, grabbing a vase from the cabinet. Every year, they'd put flowers in front of Victoria's door. Hazel always hated it, though. Watching them slowly die every time hurt almost as much as her sister's death.

"I brought home some take-out as well," her mother said, sifting through the sea of bags, "I didn't think I could cook today."

Hazel nodded in understanding and made her way back to the dining room to sit. Carelessly, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and started scrolling through miles of social media. Her mother sighed as she watched.

"You don't have to pretend you're okay," Tunnuk said softly.

She moved her hand over to Hazel's shoulder, but felt it get slapped away before she could let it rest.

"I'm fine, Mom."

Hazel and her mother looked like they could be siblings. Though their hair and eyes were as opposite as could possibly be, Hazel's structure was unmistakably her mother's. In fact, her light hair and eyes had been described as "nearly impossible" and "anomalies" before. However, Victoria hadn't had many of those same descriptions, though the two sisters could pass as twins even with their four year age gap.

There was a loud slam of the door as Tunnuk Von Brand took a quick trip to the garage, much to Hazel's gratitude. If they were to stay silent for much longer, the thoughts in her head would have drowned out even the most heartwarming of stories she scrolled through. On top of that, her mother's pattern of blaming herself and obsessing over every little difference in Hazel's behavior would return as it always seemed to do. It hadn't changed for three long years.

"So, how was your day?" her mother asked as she put the plates on the table.

Hazel grunted in response.

"I see."

There was a long pause before she finally spoke.

"I had some friends over," she admitted.

Rather than being upset as she expected, her mother smiled.

"Good. I wasn't too wild about you being here on your own if I'm honest."

Her mother's words turned to knives plunging into Hazel's chest. Why in the world would she not be okay on her own?

And then it clicked.

"Do you really think I'd do that to you?" Hazel asked, her tone dropping.

"I just wan-"

"I'm stronger than she was! I'm stronger than she ever would have been!" she bellowed.

With that, Hazel stood up and grabbed her plate, shaking the table. She turned on her heel and bolted up the stairs, Tunnuk left alone with her thoughts. Her mother desperately called her back down, but Hazel was adamant about being alone. Something stopped her from coming downstairs knowing that at any minute the tears would flow.

She sat cross-legged on her bed, pizza in one shaky hand and her phone in the other as she searched for something to overpower the grief in her mind.

Nine o'clock would be the best time to watch the stars, and it was only about six-thirty. Part of her hoped that maybe the clouds would fade in time, while another knew the sad truth. Eventually, she found a couple movies that would keep her busy for part of the time. She pulled a blanket over her shoulders and prepared for what already felt like the longest night.