Angst warning~

The tapping of the heel of your shoe was seemingly the only way to calm yourself from all of this events, besides the loud music resonating from the speakers, upbeat bass bouncing up and about around the gymnasium as students danced and have the time of their lives.

You bit your lip, as you avoided the urge to look at your watch, fearing that an hour might've passed while you waited for him. And in fact, he promised to be early... But despite that, he was already three hours late when you last checked the time.

He was never late, he was always right on time. It was strange to think that this boy was maybe late for an hour or two... Or three, or four, or five. He was the most punctual person you have met and in fact, you were the tardy one in terms of comparison and contrast. But apparently, not today.

What's Hajime taking so long?

Could it be the traffic? Nah, the traffic wasn't that much of a problem when you reached the school. Perhaps he was still choosing between his collection of suits and tux and coats? No, you were sure that he already made a decision what tux to wear... You were unsure how the boy is late, but you'll surely understand. He is a reasonable person, surely he wouldn't be that late if he didn't had anything happening in his life.

You sighed, taking a breather and sat by one of the benches. The punch in your hands seems to taste bland, much to your dismay, you had a few cups and you were feeling tipsy. Someone might've spiked it, but you're not complaining.

"Lads and lasses! Good evening! This is your Headmaster, wishing you to have the best evening of your school life yet!" The crowd applauded and cheered, before the music started blasting louder this time.

You wish you can cheer, party alongside them, but you can't seem to cherish this moment without your boyfriend who was looking forward for this night... It feels so wrong to celebrate without him, he was so enthusiastic about accompanying the Ultimate (talent) to the ball.

You can't do anything but to just smile to express your happiness for those who rejoice around you. The one's who prepared the ball noticeably brought their best out in terms of preparing it. The food was divine, the decoration, the drinks, the activities, the music... It would be more lovely if Hajime were here to witness this with you, but you know how to be patient for a little while.

To admit this, you were getting a little lonely with Hajime still not here. You feel guilty for your friend's attempting to cheer you up when they see your mood down on the dumps and all you can do is to smile to conceal your loneliness.

You looked at the crowd once more, hoping he'd be there, probably dancing the night away, or maybe he's dragged into that dancefloor with his friends... You looked at the entrance, hoping he'd be there walking or maybe planning his grand entrance to sweep you off your feet... But you were greeted with a void... Huh, now that you mentioned what it looked like outside, you can't help but to entertain yourself.

Stargazing isn't really your thing, but there's nothing you can really do right now. Maybe you'll just send Hajime a message regarding your location so he can find you there. Speaking of sending a message to Hajime... You have already sent him dozens of message.

Hey darling, I'm at school! I'll be waiting for you <3
Sent at 3:59 PM

I'm by the entrance of the gym, so it'll be easy to spot me :p
Sent at 4:00 PM

Angel where u at? Lol
Sent at 4:30 PM

Hajimeeeeee
Sent at 5:20 PM

You sighed after rereading your messages, but just smiled. Surely he was just busy running an errand.

Hi darling, I'll be by the school garden. Just near the fountain. Sitting on a bench.
Sent on 8:22 PM

Still waiting, lol
Sent on 8:24 PM

After getting the message sent, you proceeded to walk out of the gym and once you reached outside, you felt the soft and cold breeze brush your skin, causing you to shiver and rub your arm.

At times like this, Hajime would have scold you for not bringing a jacket, only to begrudgingly stripping his coat, jacket, sweatshirt, any long sleeved and comfortable and cozy he is wearing over his shirt and would put it over your shoulder.

The first he did this shocked you to no end, but you're not complaining and boi, did you lost your cool when he did that. You lost your cool that you can't help but to go off like a whistling kettle internally... Maybe you let out a little squeal, before kissing his cheek. You still remember how his voice raised to the highest range that it started cracking while he asked you why you did that.

And that night served where you basically confessed to him and the relationship was decided to be official. The relationship with him is sweet, a few disagreement here and there but you both managed. You constantly dealt with his insecure butt, but you were proud of how he improved viewing himself over the course of your relationship.

You sat by one of the benches and gathered your thoughts. It was inevitable to come to these kinds of thought, in which you genuinely despise to think about... But the more you think about it, it might be possible.

Did he... Did he seriously ditched me?

The thought of him ditching you to an event both of you planned to attend made you hurt a lot. It tore you apart, it really hurt so bad. You checked your phone once more, seeing no message from him. At this point, all you can do was to sigh. But you didn't let that fill you with despair.

A song plays from inside the school. It was muffled, but the bass can still be felt and the melody and tune just decided to stab you in the feels.

They must be slow dancing right now...

You never really danced, but you were hoping to dance with Hajime. You looked forward to dance with him, because you trust him. You love him. And it hurts to think of the possibility that he perhaps ditched you, or that your thoughts suggested that he might be seeing someone else.

"Oh, fuck me," you laughed, roughly brushing the tears that made their way out of your eyes. You felt your chest and throat tighten, in denial that you were feeling this way. Surely he would have something— an emergency perhaps. There was no need to cry, he probably has something up... But you know you had to make sure.

You reluctantly reached for your phone and with shaky fingers, you dialed his contact number before putting the speaker near your ear. The ringing sound made you anxious by the passing seconds that seems like an eternity... Your patience were in vain when he didn't picked up the phone. You sighed shakily, before cupping your face with both your palms and sobbed.

Hajime stared at himself by the mirror, hands clutching the porcelain sink as he repeats to himself, someone was waiting for him in the banquet and he can't miss it... But the demon in his head tends to poke fun at him... Perhaps the word poke is an understatement, it was more like... Stab. The demon at the back of his mind continued to stab fun at him.

They're just pitying you

They're probably enjoying with someone else who's better than you

You look like hell

He's just a nobody. A lucky nobody that somehow got the Ultimate (talent) dangling by his fingertips, swooning for him. An uninteresting, dull, tasteless, the plainest of the plain. Among the selection of flavourful people, those who have talents, you choose the most basic flavour among the all.

Why him?

You deserve the world, something that Hajime does not have.

You are the Ultimate (talent) for crying out loud, you deserve better— not the opposite. You were definitely something, absolutely beautiful, talented, a physical embodiment of a deity, intelligent, creative, hard working, confident, charismatic... The list goes on and on about how wonderful you truly are, but what is he?

You are someone who will change the world, while he's just one of the run of the mill guy. Maybe he is THE most run of the mill guy. He doesn't deserve to be with you. He doesn't deserve to be seen with you in public, in fear that he will be your downfall.

He can imagine fingers pointing at your directions, laughing and taunting you just because you were with a nobody like him. He can imagine you being affected by this, you'd surely lose your sense of identity, fall into despair... The thought that the possibility of that happening because of him, all because of him... It tore him apart. Never in his life did he thought that his mere existence would ruin your integrity.

Amidst the silence he's built up for himself, the darkness that enveloped him... There was a light, there a sound. It was your presence in a form of your phone call. He wasn't worthy of you; an ant has no quarrel with a boot after all.

You were probably calling him, to tell him that the relationship was over. He can't blame you— it hurts him a lot — but no one wants to be with an outcast.

Or maybe you were bawling your eyes out with his absence... He isn't worth your tears, nor your time. It hurts him to see you cry, to think that you're crying because of him.

He feels like a failure.

He failed you just by existing. He hated it. He hated that he can't be with you without seeing his self as a worthless step ladder.

You should be with someone else, who's as much as talented as you are. Creative as you are. Wonderful as you are. He can't compete, but as long as you're happy, he's as equally happy for you.

I'm sorry Y/N... I can't bare to see you being tainted because of me.

He saw how they looked at you for being with him. The way they stare at you in scrutiny while you held hands with him. The way they whisper about you being with him. The way they taunt you...

It was his fault.

I'm sorry, but this is the only way Y/N. I can't take it anymore... I wanna be accepted like you... But that's not gonna happen any time soon.