FORTY TWO. the note

ADELINE had bandaged herself up with supplies she had found in Morgan's apartment, and it wasn't long before she read the writings on the wall that told her what the man had been through. He lost his son. And alongside that, he lost his mind. Everything. That's when she had to leave, the guilt for not convincing Morgan and Duane to come with her and Rick when they left a year ago got to her.

That's why she stood where she was. Calloused and bloodstained hands wrapped around the white picket fence that surrounded what she used to call home. It looked significantly different, spikes and traps curled around the frontward - protecting it from the wrath of the apocalypse. Even after everything he had been through, in the midst of losing his mind, he set up traps around the house of the girl he barely knew.

Closing her eyes, Adeline pushed herself off of the fence before running a hand through her tangled hair. She eyed the house like it was blocking her from getting to her next point in life. Because it was. There was a part of her that wished her home had been burnt down like her brothers had, because maybe it would make it easier on her. Maybe it would let her accept the death of her husband. Maybe.

Letting a breath tainted with frustration, the widow slipped through the gate and made her way towards the white wooden door. Decorative translucent glass framed the door, her boots smacking against the steps leading into her home. Adeline took a step towards the door and held her hand out to the knob. Her hand trembled, shaking uncontrollably as she sucked in a deep breath in attempts to calm her nerves. Cursing underneath her breath, she curled her fingers into a fist before stretching them back out and opening the door.

The smell of cinnamon was gone. It was the first thing she noticed, her figure reluctantly entering the home and shutting the door in her steps. Taking a look around, a sudden force of familiarity slammed into the empty pit of her stomach; racking her body with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. She felt frozen, her skin running cold as her umber colored eyes fell to the wooden floorboards.

Feeling her throat tighten and her eyes sting, a shaky breath tumbled from her chapped lips. Adeline allowed her hand to trail up her chest and to her neck, wrapping her fingers around the necklace that curled against her neck. Tracing the 22 pendant, she slowly regained her composure and raised her head from the floor, her eyes settling upon the familiar setting of the living room.

Taking a step forward, the widow walked into the depths of her and her husbands home. The pictures that hung from the wall haunted her, eyes completely avoiding the images as she slipped past them and into the kitchen.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." The soft voice of her husband greeted her tired figure, his frame leaning against the island counter with a steaming coffee cup clutched in his grasp.

Adeline yawned, rubbing her eyes as she nodded before grabbing her coffee cup from the cupboards. Walking over to the coffee machine, she filled her cup up halfway before sitting down in a stool by the island Shane stood at. "You work today?" She questioned, carefully sipping from her cup which had the drawing of an owl on the side.

"Did my outfit not give it away?" Shane inquired sarcastically, motioning to the short sleeved beige button up decorated with his badge - the shirt tucked into the dark brown pants accompanied with the uniform. "Rick's picking me up in the car, it's his turn today." He added.

"Oh, if you get the chance can you tell him I need to talk to him? I think Lori has been avoiding my calls ever since I told her she needed to get the stick out of her ass." She spoke, the soft rasp of a chuckle leaving her husbands lips at the reminder of the argument between her and Lori.

"You have to think about the possibility that..." Shane started, pouring the rest of his coffee down the drain "She might just be scared shitless of you." He informed, his words causing a laugh to leave Adelines lips.

"Well... Maybe she shouldn't treat my brother like shit." Adeline advised, swirling around in her seat before turning to face her husband - "Only common sense."

Shane nodded, opening his mouth to speak only for the repetitive loud sound of a car horn to be heard from outside of their home. "Rick." Adeline and Shane spoke in unison, the former watching as her husband scurried around the island and over to her side.

Pressing a kiss to his wife's forehead, he ruffled her hair before making a beeline for the door while holstering his pistol. "Hey!" Adeline called out, "Be safe today." She pleaded, his figure turning back to look at her.

"Always."

The widow pulled herself out of the memory, finding herself in front of the kitchen sink where a cleaned coffee cup sat next to it. It was Shanes. She remembered how he left it before the day that the world officially went to shit and the two of them were separated for two months. She couldn't help but sometimes wish to go back to those days, to when she believed he was somewhere out there waiting for her.

But instead, every time she thought of him, she was accompanied by the sinister memory of him dying in her arms. Only it wasn't him. It was a stranger that wore his face. Adeline had come to the realization that she lost her husband the moment they were torn apart from each other, when he thought she had died in the same hospital that her brother was trapped in a coma in.

Grabbing the coffee cup off of the counter, Adeline felt a sudden course of anger surge through her and her fingers tighten around the handle. Before she could shatter the cup into a million pieces, she released it from her hand and slid it back onto the counter and walked deeper into the home - exploring it for the ring she had came for.

Opening the door to the bathroom, she allowed her eyes to do a quick sweep before shutting the door and walking further down the hallway. There were three bedrooms, two for guests and one that the married couple claimed as their own. It was the bedroom with a bathroom attached to it, her hand curving around the doorknob as she carefully opened the door.

Entering their bedroom, her umber eyes fell to the floor around the dresser. A picture frame sat shattered against the wooden floor, reminding her of how it had happened. It was the day when Rick woke from his coma, when her routines were broke and they set off towards Atlanta in search of their family. She never had the chance to clean it up, and now glanced at the pile before stepping over it.

Avoiding the shards of glass, Adeline reached the nightstand next to Shanes side of the bed. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she curled her fingers around the small knob before tugging the drawer open. The items inside clattered together at the sudden force, her eyes landing upon something she didn't expect to find.

It was a black velvet ring box. The same exact one that Shane had proposed to her with. The widow softened her eyes, an unexplainable feeling coursing through her veins as she grabbed the box with a delicate touch. Backing up, she sat on the edge of the bed and held the ring box in her hand like it would explode at any moment and disappear.

Carefully, she pulled the lid open. Not expecting anything to be inside, Adeline flinched slightly as a folded up piece of paper fell from the box and landed on the floor. Furrowing her brows, she sat the ring box onto the bed before leaning forward to grab the paper. When her fingers grazed the surface, she straightened back up and returned back to her original spot on the end.

Unfolding the paper, her attentive eyes fell down to the messy handwriting that scribbled across the surface. She immediately recognized it to be Shanes, her heart aching inside of her chest as she softened her eyes and read the note that was addressed to her.

Dear Adeline,

If you're reading this it means I finally worked up the nerve to give it to you. You know me, I'm not known to be a sap. But you are known to bring out that side of me. You always been able to do it, only God knows why or how.

Next year is our five year anniversary. June 19th. It's a date I'll never be able to forget. I'll remember it before my own birthday, and that's saying something. Maybe it's because you mean more to me than anything else in this world. A world that I once thought to be stupid and useless until I met you.

You take care of me. You keep me going. I hope you know that, Addy. Without you in this world, I would be lost i̶n̶ ̶d̶a̶r̶k̶n̶e̶s̶s̶. You're my light. I don't even know if that makes any sense to you, but it's the only way I've come up with to put what I feel into words. Because you, more than anyone - deserves to know your worth.

I know you worry yourself to death every single time I walk out of the front door and go to work. And if there is ever a day where I don't make it back... don't sit around and wait for me, okay? I want you to be happy. I want you to live your life to the fullest, Little Bird. Because that's what you deserve. You deserve the world and more.

Maybe not this world, with all these viruses going around, you deserve something way more than that. Anyways... I love you, Adeline. More than anything. More than anyone. You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. The only one. 'Cause I'm sure if I ever were to lose you, I'd more than definitely lose myself.

Be happy, my girl. I love you.

Yours truly,
Shane.

Adeline felt the familiar feeling of a tear fall down her cheek, trailing down the freckled covered skin before landing onto the surface of the paper. A choked sob left her lips, hand curling around her mouth as she muffled the sounds of grief that crawled out of her body. The note fell down into her lap, tears blurring her vision.

The memories of Shane dying in her arms because distant screams, no longer taunting her with every step forward that she took. Adeline became at peace with what had happened. She accepted the sinister truths, wiping the trail of tears from her pale skin and rubbing them against the comforter of the bed.

Looking down to her hands that gripped the mattress, the two rings on her finger suddenly started to feel like a suffocating reminder of something she couldn't escape. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before blindly removing the rings from her finger. Allowing them to fall into her grasp, Adeline opened her eyes and stood from her spot on the bed.

Sliding the set of rings into her back pocket, she folded the note back into it's original form before tucking it into the same pocket with her rings. Adeline looked down to the marks of her rings on her finger, rubbing her bloodstained fingers over the soft skin while walking out of the room without a second glance back.

The Grimes girl was eager to leave the home, allowing all of the memories and attachments that were glued to the building to fade into the past as she made her way down the front steps. She didn't look back, she used all of her willpower to keep her hand by the hilt of her machete as she made a beeline for the building her brother and Morgan resided in.

Upon slipping into the downtown area and past the shap traps surrounding the entrance of the building, the minute she started up the staircase a loud crashing sound was heard from inside. "Damn it," Adeline cursed, a sudden pain coursing through her shoulder as she rushed up the stairs and into the room just in time to see a knife plunge its way into her brothers shoulder blade by the hand of a now awake Morgan.

Her eyes widened, body rushing forward in attempts to tug the man that once saved her life off of her brother that screamed in pain. "Morgan, Morgan! Stop! Stop it!" She yelled, only for the man to pull the knife out of Ricks shoulder and take a swing at her chest. Adeline hastily stepped back, ducking out of the wrath of the man as he let out a scream of frustration.

Before he could do any more damage, Rick pushed his body off of the ground and tackled Morgan to the floor. In one swift movement, he unholstered his python and aimed it in the direction of the mans face - "You do know me! You crazy son of a bitch!" He roared, cocking the gun as Morgan's eyes trailed up to the barrel of the weapon.

"Please..." Morgan tearfully begged, grabbing Ricks hands and pressing the barrel into his forehead. "Please kill me." He cried, causing Adeline to step next to her brother and pull the gun out of his hands before looking down at the man - "Nobody's killing anyone today."

━━━━ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"Just kill me." Morgan begged from his spot, hands restrained behind his back with a set of zip ties. Adeline was the one to do it, fearful of when he would have yet another outburst towards the two people left in this world that genuinely cared about him.

The woman stood in front of her brother who sat down on a crate, finishing cleaning up the fresh wound on his shoulder blade. She wrapped a roll of white bandages around his chest and shoulder, tightening it as Morgan continued begging the siblings to kill him. "There." She tied it off, grabbing his flannel and tossing it to him.

"You found me in my sisters from yard, Morgan. Last year. You and..." Rick started, sliding his arms through his flannel before his eyes trailed over to the words written in red on the wall DUANE TURNED. "You found me. You fed me, and you told me what happened because Adeline couldn't." He continued, looking at the man.

"You saved my life." Adeline informed, ignoring the aching feeling of pain in her shoulder and she sat down on the edge of the cot. "From a walker. You saved me and I led you and your family to the Drake's house." She added while pressing her elbows against her knees.

"Her name is Adeline and mine is Rick Grimes. You know us." Rick assured, making his way over to Morgan who kept his head turned to the floor. "We're not wearing dead people's faces." He spoke, bending down to pick up the very radio that he had given the man a year ago.

"I gave you this." Rick continues, Adelines eyes watching carefully as her brother showed Morgan the radio. "I said I'd turn it on every day at dawn so you could find me."

Morgan turned his head, a sudden realization pouring into his features as he looked down to the radio. Glancing to Adeline, he became aware of what was happening - of who they were. "Rick? Adeline?" He stuttered, "I... I do know you. Oh, man... Damn it, I... I know who you are."

Standing up from her spot, Adeline walked over to the men and stood behind her brother with a softened expression. "You two said you'd turn yours on at dawn." Morgan continued, "That's what you said. I mean, I hadn't worked up to it yet, and - then I did."

"On the roof, every morning for days. For weeks, me and my boy." Morgan informed, a breathless chuckle slipping past his lips. "And then... me. Just static, though. Nothing but static. And then nothing but nothing... You weren't there. You were never there."

"Morgan." Adeline started, "We tried."

"Not when I tried!" Morgan yelled, "I mean... you said you would turn on your radio every day at dawn."

"Morgan, I-" Rick attempted, only to be cut off.

"You said you would turn on your radio every day at dawn and you were not there!" Morgan bellowed, veins popping out in his neck as Adeline pulled her eyes away from him and ran a hand over her face to hide her tears.

Rick stammered, "We kept- we kept getting... getting pushed farther out. We had to. We didn't have a choice." He informed, standing up from his spot to pace the room as Adeline lowered herself down onto the bench. "I found my wife and my boy." Her brother admitted. "I had people. I had to keep them safe." He added, looking away.

"We never stopped running." Adeline spoke up, lowering her eyes onto Morgan. "We kept going from one pike trail to the next, hanging on to the smallest thread of hope that we would all make it out alive. We didn't have a choice."

Morgan kicked the radio away from him, the object skidding across the floor. "You can have your radio back 'cause looks like I finally found you two. You found your wife and son... That's what happened right? You found them." He started before looking over to Adeline, "And what about you- your husband. Did you find him?"

The woman couldn't find any words in the barrens of her throat, her eyes speaking all of the truths that she wanted to say but couldn't. Morgan nodded knowingly, "Yeah... That's what I thought." He spoke, turning his eyes back over to Rick - "And your wife... did she turn?"

"No." The oldest Grimes answered, "She died."

Morgan shook his head, "So you didn't have to see that, then. Of course not. Not like me." He chuckled, turning his head back to the floorboards. "No." Morgan laughed, "Not like me. Not like my wife. You remember what happened to her?" He questioned, looking to the doctor.

"I tried to save her." Adeline spoke, looking down at her hands. "I tried to." She added quietly.

"Yeah..." Morgan nodded, "You gave me the gun." He stated, his words directed towards Rick, "You tried..."

"What did I try, Morgan?" Rick questioned, shifting on his feet as he bent back down to the man's level. "What did I try?" He continued, meeting his crazed eyes.

Morgan chuckled, "You tried... You tired to get me to do it 'cause I was supposed to do it. I was supposed to kill her, my Jenny. Knew I was supposed to but, I let it go." He informed, Adeline turned to face them. "Let it go like there wasn't gonna be a reckoning."

Glancing at the window, Morgan looked back to the siblings - "We was always looking for food. You know, it always came down to food. And I was... I was checking out a cellar and I didn't want Duane to come down there with me and then when I came up..." He started, pausing.

He took in a deep breath, "She was standing there right in front of him and he had his gun up and he couldn't do it." Morgan informed, causing Adeline to soften her face as she looked to him with pure sympathy. "So I called to him and he turned." He continued, scrunching his face up.

"And then she was just- on him." Morgan sobbed, "And I see red. I see red. Everything is red. Everything I see is red and I do it! Finally... Finally was too late." He broke, his voice trembling. "I was supposed to. I was selfish. I was weak." He spoke, holding a smile full of pain.

"You gave me the gun." Morgan reminded, looking over at Rick. "And your boy... is he dead?" He questioned.

After a second, Rick looked up from his spot before shaking his head. "No." He informed quietly.

"No?" Morgan repeated, "He will be. See, 'cause people like you two, the good people, they always die. And the bad people do, too. But the weak people... the people like me. We have inherited the earth." He chuckled.

Adeline let out a deep sigh, hastily standing from her spot before sliding one of her throwing knives out of its sheath on her side. "We're not killing you." She spoke, bending down to Morgan's spot and slicing the zip ties in half.

Standing back up, she slid the knife back into its spot before looking at her brother and Morgan - "You're supposed to come back with us. That's how this ends." Adeline continued, rubbing her shoulder tiredly.

Morgan chuckled once again, "Really? After all that? After me shooting you? Stab your brothers heart out, happily ever after together?" He questioned, gesturing towards Rick who stood up from his spot.

"You couldn't kill us and we couldn't kill you." Rick informed, "I'll take that as a sign." He added. "We found a prison. The fences keep the walkers out."

Looking up, Morgan raised a brow. "Is that where your wife died?" He questioned, causing Adeline to shift on her feet and run her bloodstained hands against the material of her jeans. "Just go." He pleaded. "Don't go back, don't stop. Just get yourself some more time."

"Look..." Rick started, taking a step forward. "I can help you. You can come back with us, you can heal."

"You guys are taking a lot of guns, Rick." Morgan cut him off, "I'm just saying that that is a lot of guns. Why do you need the guns, huh? 'Cause if you got something good, that just means that there's someone who wants to take it." He continued, glancing over at Adeline whose expression held the truth - "That's what's happening, right?" He questioned curiously, already knowing.

"We're gonna win." Adeline spoke up, stepping closer. "You can come back with us. You can help." She added.

Morgan shook his head in denial, "You will be torn apart by teeth or bullets. You two and then that boy of yours. Your people. But not me. Because I am not gonna watch that happen again." He assured, "You take the guns." He spoke, standing up from his spot and past Adeline.

Rick hastily stood up, "You know there's a chance! That's what you can't square. That's what hurts. You know there's a chance!" He yelled, causing his sister to look at him with an expression that pleaded him to calm down.

"I don't think you heard a damn word that I said!" Morgan retorted, fighting fire with fire with his words.

Making sure to stand between the path of the two of them, Adeline faced her brother who swallowed his spit before eyeing Morgan - "We both started out in the same place, things went bad for you and things we bad for me. But you're not seeing things right. I don't blame you... What you've lost, what you've been through... you're not seeing things right but you can come back from this, I know you can. You have to. This can't be it. It can't be."

Rick continued, carefully pushing past his sister to face Morgan with a determined expression - "You got to be able to come back from this." He begged.

"No." The man spoke after several seconds, causing Adeline to furrow her brows and step towards him.

"Morgan, please. If you'd just open your eyes and-"

"No!" He bellowed, his voice echoing around the room. "I have to clear. That's why I didn't die today. That's the sign. I have to, man. I have to. I have to clear." Morgan assured, watching as Rick looked down before walking away from the two of them.

Adeline sighed, watching after her brother for a second before turning her pleading eyes back to Morgan.

"STAY ALIVE."