NINETEEN. memento mori

Guilt was one of the strongest emotions Adeline Grimes had ever experienced. A suffocating feeling that drowned you in your own thoughts. A heavy pressure on your chest, pressing harder and harder until your lungs give out. Your mind repeatedly telling you that it's your fault and no one else's. That what had happened was all on you. An incessant throb in your heart, tears sliding numbly down your cheeks and claiming your body to be their home. Screams of pain cracking through the night sky - that insignificant feeling of walking away without any harm done upon you. Flashes of regret, flashes of gunshots, flashes of losing who you truly are.

Hot steam made its home on the mirror she stood in front of, hands covered with blood gripping the edge of the sink in attempts to stabilize herself. Adeline refused to meet eyes with her enemy. She refused to tilt her head up and wipe away the steam to see what damage she had caused. But as her eyes trailed down her chest, the deep scratch marks that littered her skin caused the memories of guilty blood flash around her mind. "No..." The whimper left her lips, fresh tears falling from her eyes and leaving a salty trail in their wake.

Lifting her head, the fog that curled up the mirrors frame blinded her from seeing herself. At first she felt thankful, but then the guilt came. There she stood - able to look at herself, being alive enough to have the opportunity when others couldn't. When he couldn't. Wiping away the steam, blood blended in her movement as she finally met her own eyes in the blurred mirror. The first thing she noticed was the fresh blood splattered across her face, the scratches across her collarbone burning marks that would never leave her skin. It was her fault. It was all her fault. Those were the only words she could hear as she brought the bloodied tips of her fingers and picked at the deep scratches, wincing in pain at the feeling.

"Those windows, what's on the other side?" The breathless question left Shanes lips, his hand wrapped tightly around his wife's. They stood atop a set of bleachers, the woman stuck between her husband and newfound friend. Otis looked to where the officer pointed his flashlight, "About a twenty foot drop with nothing to catch you, maybe some bushes, then the athletic field." He informed, the three of them moving against the wall.

The sound of walkers growling and snarling below them caused Adeline to peek over the ledge - heart beating harshly in her chest as Shane pulled her back. "We just need enough time." He asserted, glancing down at the walkers. "We gotta get up there, get 'em open and get out." He planned, shining his light onto the windows decorated with rain droplets.

"I can't do that." Adeline spoke up, the pain in her ankle only growing to be worse with the more weight she put on it. "I can't make the jump even if I wanted to. I can try to find another way but I can't do the jump." She whispered.

Turning the light away from the crowd of walkers, Shane looked to his wife with furrowed brows. "Don't say that. I'll jump down first then I'll catch you. We are not separating, you hear me? I'm not letting that happen."

"You two can, I can't." Otis spoke up, "Look at me. You really think I can squeeze through one of them tiny windows? They'd be all over us." He continued, looking down at the walkers. "Look, we lay down some fire to get a head start. You stay here, I hop down and draw them away. That gives you two the chance to get up those sets of bleachers and out a window." He planned out - motioning towards the small glass.

"What about you?" Adeline questioned, glancing at the man with a worried face. She didn't want anyone to be left behind, she didn't want anyone to die here.

Reaching over her face, the heavyset man grabbed her husbands arm with the flashlight and pointed it towards a set of doors. "Locker room, down those steps." Otis informed, breathless pants leaving his lips.

"Looks like a good way to get trapped." Shane retorted, retreating his arm back to his side.

"It's got windows too, and more my size. I get out through one, I double back, we meet up out on the field."

Adeline laughed underneath her breath and shook her head at his idea, "You're crazy, you know that?" She questioned with a small smile. Otis shook his head, "I'm just trying to do right for that boy." He assured with soft eyes which caused the woman to nod thankfully to him.

"You take three shots and you go. After that, we fire. We'll lay down a cover for you. We'll get you a lead." Shane asserted, grabbing his shotgun as Otis nodded and agreed to the plan. The two men began to fire into the group of walkers below them, loud gunshots bouncing off of the gym walls as Adeline pulled out Ricks python and held it in her trembling hands.

Squinting one eye, she steadied her aim and fired a shot into a walker below her. The bullet imbedded into the monsters shoulder, doing no damage and only causing it to grow anger. Cursing underneath her breath, she fired two more useless shots into walkers - the bullets not doing anything except proving themselves as useless. Otis had jumped off of the bleachers in order to run for the locker room, his body being dragged down by a leg less walker stuck onto a bed.

Quickly, she aimed the sights onto the stalkers head and took in a deep breath just before it was ready to chomp it's teeth into the man's leg. Releasing the breath, she pressed her finger down onto the trigger. The bullet whisked through the air, and found itself imbedded into the walkers neck. That gave Otis enough time to kick the stalker off of him and pull himself up from the ground, making a beeline for the locker room as Shane grabbed Adelines arms and helped her down the set of bleachers.

Most of the walkers decided to chase after Otis, which gave them time to sprint up the stairs with only three walkers on their tail. As Shane busted the windows with the hilt of his shotgun, Adeline tucked the python back into her holster and unsheathed her machete. The bandana rested against her wrist as a walker in a bright yellow vest lunged towards her but was only confronted with the sharp blade plunging into its eye- killing it.

Rushing over to her husband, she pulled the backpack off of her arms, tossed it over the windows ledge and onto the ground below them. "You first." Adeline whispered, looking to Shane with worried eyes. Letting out a shaky breath, he nodded reluctantly and tossed all of his getup out the window alongside her own. Lowering himself out of the frame and into the bushes twenty feet down, a loud growl caused Adeline to turn around from where she sat - legs straddling the frame of the window.

Another walker charged at her just as Shanes voice reached her ears - "Come on down!" his words echoed throughout the night as fear coursed through her body. Adeline felt the walker grab onto her shoulder and push her out of the window, a quick hand curling around the frame. Her arm jerked harshly, pain shooting through her body as she let out a choked scream. The walker clawed at her skin, but not able to tear into it before a loud shot fired through the night sky and her grip on the window loosened - sending her falling backwards down a twenty foot drop.

Hot water cascaded down the blood and dirt stained skin, chin craning back to look up at the ceiling above her. Adeline watched as her skin turned into a flushed red at the boiling water, the temperature of it bringing nothing but numbed pain. Salty tears blended with the clear water, choked sobs leaving her lips as she lowered herself to the floor of the shower and tucked her knees to her chest. Droplets decorated her eyelashes, glued to the sight of crimson water swirling down the drain.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was a sound she didn't realize, the words leaving her lips in a hushed whisper. Adeline failed to acknowledge who she was apologizing to, she failed to think about the things she had done. When the water fell onto the scratches that littered her body, she winced in pain and tightened her grip around her knees to sustain it.

She felt she deserved it. Or maybe she wanted to feel something other than the fear of herself.

"You've gotta leave me..." The plead left Adelines lips, tears seeping from her eyes. The pain in her ankle had become unbearable, no weight at all able to be put onto it. "Please... you have to go." She begged, both of them wrapping their arms around her to keep her steady. Shane had a limp of his own, earning it from catching his wife when she fell through the window only moments ago.

By then they had reunited with Otis, the man saving their life by firing his last round into a walker ready to kill the both of them. Adeline realized she was only slowing them down, and that they could undoubtedly make it if they left her behind. Shane ignored her pleads and tightened his grip on her waist, "I'm not leaving you. Do you hear me? I am not leaving you!" He yelled, voice ripping through the air and blending with the loud snarls coming from the walkers behind them.

"God damn it, Shane, please! I need you two to get back to Carl... I need you... I need you to just let me go." Her voice was cracked, broken sobs leaving her lips as she tried to push her husband away from her only for his grip to tighten and keep her glued to his side.

Otis let out breathless pants, "Hey, we're all three getting out of here. We're gonna get back to that boy and he's going to be just fine." He assured, steadying the woman as best as he could.

In that moment, the man lost his own footing and tumbled to the ground. His grip on Adeline sent her with him, the material of her jeans scraping against the concrete and breaking through to her skin. Letting out a cry of pain, her elbows trembled underneath her weight, skin breaking. Shane held in a bag of curse words to deliver to the man, scooping his wife up off of the ground and holding her close to his chest as Otis slowly climbed his way up.

The walkers grew closer, the three of them, in a sorry excuse of a run, pushed through their pain. Turning around, the heavyset man fired a shot from Ricks python, which Adeline had handed to him seeing as he was better at aiming then she was. "Down to my last." He panted, watching as Shane pulled his gun out and checked the mag before confirming he was on his last as well.

Stopping in his step, Adeline furrowed her eyebrows as she felt her husband grip her waist and pull her behind his body. "I'm sorry," He apologized while pulling the chamber back on the sleek black pistol.

"What're you doing?" Adeline questioned, attempting to move in front of him but was only confronted with a loud gunshot that rang through the air. A breath of shock was caught in her throat, body flinching back and away from Shane as he fired his last bullet into Otis's knee - sending him to the ground. "No!" The scream left her lips, fear of her husband confronting her with cold arms as she felt the wet blood against her face - resembling her new found fear.

Frozen in a state of shock, hands trembled as she watched Shane attempt to pull the backpack off of the dying man only for Otis to curl his hand around her husbands ankle and send him to the ground with him. The sound of her heartbeat was all she could hear, the screams for her help that came from the heavyset man echoing muffled rings in her mind. Looking up; she noticed the herd of walkers pick up their pace and catch up to them. She had to make a choice, and quick.

"I don't..." Adeline whispered, chest heaving up and down as she breathed heavily. Tears ran miles down her cheeks, choked sobs leaving her lips. Shane struggled on the ground in the mans grasp - his nails digging into her husbands skin as she watched in pure fear.

Before she could run through her options - her body had made her choice for her. "I'm sorry..." The words that left her lips rang in her mind as she snapped out of the frozen state of shock and rushed over to the two men. Wrapping her hands around Otis's vest, she tired to pull him away from her husband - kicking her boot into his back with broken sobs. The repeated words of I'M SORRY meant nothing to him as he clawed his fingers down her chest which caused a cracked scream of pain to break through.

With one hand wrapped around Shanes sprained ankle and one clawing at her skin, Adeline Grimes slammed her boot into Otis's face - a sickening crack causing her to stumble back and away from the scene. Shane had pulled the backpack off of the man's arms, rushing to his wife and wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her along. But he only received her flinching away from him, a hand slapping against his forearm as a reflex of fear.

"DON'T TOUCH ME."