April 4, 2014
XXX Country

THE RYTHMIC sound of the cardiac monitor combined with the bustling of trees was a lullaby to Leilani's ears.

Her thin arms dangled outside the small opening of her room as her chin rested on the window bay. The spring breeze caressed her pasty skin but her thick lashes were kept close — as if to avoid the reality yet at the same time reaching for it.

Leilani had been enclosed in this room ever since she could remember. She was born here after all.

And apparently, it seemed like she would die here too.

These plain white walls were the witness of her worthless life. Today even marked the eighteenth year she spent trying to survive when in the first place, it was an impossible feat.

As the wind grew stronger, a leaf drifted inside. It landed right on her forehead and she opened her eyes instinctively.

Her vision was filled with colors there and then.

The vibrant hues of spring created so much contrast to the dullness of the room. 'Will it be too much to ask if it's always winter?'

"Leilani!"

Her whole body jolted from the sharp tone. She pulled back her arms, turning to the doctor assigned to her along with a nurse accompanying her. The two almost appeared like sisters in her view but she was sure who owned that voice.

"You're so loud, Doc Jenna," she said while returning to her bed.

The middle-aged woman's frown deepened as she took out her stethoscope. The cold metal touched Leilani's chest. The latter's lips were already sealed while taking deep breaths without the doctor's instruction — considering they had been repeating the same situation since she was young.

"You need to close your window, Leilani. It will be hard if you get sick, especially when the season's changing. We will be running a test this afternoon so be careful with your food—"

"Excuse me, Doctor." Another nurse arrived, pushing the door open in a rush. "Professor Johnson called. They're asking if Doctor Johnson is here."

The nurse handed the phone but Doctor Jenna ignored it, still facing Leilani. "Why are they calling me to look for their child? Do I look like a nanny?"

"Aren't you?" Leilani snickered making Doctor Jenna sigh while shaking her head.

"I can totally see why I never got married. It feels like I had a lot of children since I became a doctor here. And you are the cheekiest."

A laugh escaped her lips as Doctor Jenna poked her forehead. But despite the complaint, Doctor Jenna was the sole person who treated her well. 

Though she had seemed to forget what it was today.

"It's because you're lying. You told me your work has been a lot easier when Doctor Johnson is around," Leilani replied.

"Remind me why did I even tell you that again?"

"Because I'm your favorite patient," she answered with a toothy grin pasted on her face.

Doctor Jenna ruffled her hair. The black strands instantly became a nest when the heavy curls were disturbed.

"I'll be going now."

"Already? Have you forgotten about today?"

Doctor Jenna gasped. "Oh. You're right! Today's the hospital's anniversary."

The smile of anticipation faded right away. "Not that."

"What then?"

Leilani lay down, huffing loudly. "Never mind."

"Alright. Don't play too much with your phone and have lots of rest."

"I'm always resting. It's not like I have a choice." The grumpiness was obvious yet Doctor Jenna's sensitivity had been reduced to nothing today.

Doctor Jenna could always see right through Leilani but the doctor had become too oblivious to Leilani's emotions at the moment.

With one last check, Doctor Jenna left after several minutes.

Leilani was alone once more. She took out her phone and she was immediately greeted by a family picture of three. They were familiar figures she could recognize but at the same time, not really. 

Her memories lapsed attempting to recall their face, figuring out the features that made every person unique. However, no matter how she tried, everyone looked the same in her eyes. 

Nonetheless, there were only these people who could let the sense of abandonment encroach on her mind.

She was supposed to be in that photo.

Or they were supposed to be here in this hospital room.

It was her birthday but no one seemed to remember. Was there even a reason why she was alive?

What was the purpose of her life when she was nothing but a person who had been forgotten?

Her heart clenched as her eyes stung. The pain, both physical and emotional, made her shut her lids. Tears began trickling down her cheeks as she welcomed the peace of darkness.

"SHH. KEEP your voices down."

"I think your voice is the loudest here, Doc."

"Shut up. Get to your places."

Before Leilani could realize what was going on from the soft mumbles around her, slow claps filled the room.

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Leilani. Happy birthday to you!"

A few nurses and Doc Jenna stood near the door with wide smiles on their faces. The burning candle cast a warm glow on Doctor Jenna's face despite the bright noon sun peeking from the glass windows.

"You didn't forget!"

"How can we? Come on now, make a wish."

She put the cake nearer as Leilani closed her eyes.

Ever since she knew she was ill, she had only one wish — to be healthy.

It was vain to ask for something that never came true but that never broke her spirit, hoping that one day, god can finally hear her prayers.

'Please let me be healthy enough to have a normal life.'

She puffed her cheeks and blew the candle.

The moment the fire dwindled, her chest panged. It twisted as if a hand was gripping her heart. She struggled for air but it was as if there was none to inhale. Her vision became blurry as the people around her panicked. Sweat sheened her skin as dark spots slowly dotted her vision.

The attacks had always been there but never this painful. It was as if the ribs that were supposed to protect her heart were piercing it to death. The palpitations became worse. Her whole body shook as she was transferred to the emergency bed.

Doctor Jenna's voice became too far away even if she was just beside her. Her heart constricted once more, the tears flowing as she groaned.

'Please, please. I just want to live.'

But the only answer was the tightening of the organ like a knot strangling the last of her strength.