Do you guys ever get that feeling...? The one where you feel like... like something could go wrong at literally any moment?

Right now my dad is on a fire call; he's a firefighter, a police man, he works at a college, and is the boss of his own business.

My dad is strong, don't get me wrong... but... I just get worried.

What if he dies? What if he gets mugged?; shot, car wreck, burnt alive... what would we do then...?

My mother doesn't work; she's a stay at home mom. My grandma sells tutus, but she only makes a few hundred bucks every month or so— probly even more time. My older sister helps my dad, but still, only a few hundred.

Whenever I think about these things... I just... don't know what to do. I just think...:

"I'm not ready for this... I'm not ready for anyone to die yet. I'm not ready, Roxanne's not ready, Hunter's not ready, Dean's not ready... nobody is ready yet..."

And yes, every time I think this, my dad does come back... but...

What if he didn't?

What would I do...?

I wouldn't probably be in the biggest depression of my life. My dad is my everything; he's the light of my life. He keeps this family together.

I always get afraid... whenever my dads not home and my mom gets a phone call, or there's a knock at the door. I'm always afraid that I'll be somebody here to tell me that my dad is dead... that he'll never come home.

Shit. I'm crying now.

I don't want that to happen...! I'm not ready for that to happen!!