The next morning, you trudge to class in a zombie-like trance, still not fully awake, and your phone buzzes as soon as you sit down. It is your best friend.

"Hey! Jimin is really nice! We talked for over 3 hours after you left! "

Your zombie state vanishes like a whisper in the wind. All of a sudden, you get this sinking feeling in your stomach that you can't shake off.

"What? 3 hours? What did you guys talk about?"

You reply, afraid to find out.

She tells you how charming he is, and how they have so much in common.

"I felt a connection with him"

Your fear is confirmed, and the sinking feeling turns into a permanent pit as you stare at your phone. You think:

What have I done?

You talk with B/F/N about the fact that you like him, and although she says she will gladly cut things off with him, you refuse. You tell her that if he chooses her, then you are happy for her, yet envy raises its ugly head.

"Of course he will pick her, that is what happened all throughout high school! You meet someone, but because she is prettier and is allowed to date, she always gets your crushes", Envy says venomously, tightly wrapping her ugly claws around your neck.

You send him a quick hello to see where he goes, then try to focus on the lecture as class begins, your head a rush of confusion, doubt, dread, and envy.

A FEW HOURS LATER

You are walking to your next class when your phone buzzes. That pit of dread returns when you see the message is from Jimin95.

"Hey, sorry I took so long to respond. Just wanted to let you know that I have been talking to B/F/N and I really like her. I just wanted to make sure you and I would still be friends"

Feeling almost physical pain as your heart shatters on the pavement, you find a nearby bench and sit down, doubled over as you clutch your chest, tears threatening to spill out. Instead of the calm resignation you prepared yourself for, you feel unbearable pain and...ANGER. You are not sure whether you are angry at them, or at yourself, but you feel like tearing something apart with your bare hands. The raw emotion you feel catches you and other passersby off guard, and you check the time.

You have 8 minutes to get to class on the other side of campus. You check your face in your personal mirror, plaster on a hollow smile, and walk to class as though you hadn't just broken down. It isn't hard to do, as you have been doing it for years.

That fortified brick wall around your heart that Jimin had crumbled immediately builds itself up again, higher and stronger than ever before.

Just before you get to class, you send Jimin a text:

"I am happy for you and B/F/N, and I guess we could still be friends"

His reply is immediate:

You seem like a really chill person! I'm glad we can still be friends"

You snort to yourself and take your seat in the lecture hall, not bothering to reply.

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