Warning: Grief, almost drowning, Jay needs a hug, guys. Kai and Lloyd too. ANGST. Oh, and one swear word.

Spoiler alert! If you haven't watched Seabound then you may not want to read this.

Title from the lyrics of All Is Found from Frozen II
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It was peaceful here. I could see why she loved it. There was something so beautiful, almost ethereal about it. I stretched out my hand, calling to her, feeling the cold liquid slide in between my fingers as I reached towards the open sea. Maybe she'd feel me, maybe my longing would pass through the currents until she was with me again. Her hand would hand take mine and she'd press her lips to my forehead, the barest hint of a smile upon her face.

I love you. She whispered in my dreams.

I blinked.

Bubbles moved past me, racing to get to the surface in little groups. They'd rise to the waves then disappear before your eyes. That's what losing her had felt like. She had been rising. I hadn't wanted to stop her, I didn't want to be the gravity to pull her down. I didn't realize that breaking the surface of the water meant disappearing forever.

I love you.

The words taunted me.

There was a burning in my lungs. It was a constant pain spreading through my chest, alarms screaming in my head as pressure formed at my temples. My body was telling me to move! To do something but I couldn't. Not without her.

Not.

Without.

Her.

I love you. It was so soft but it was there. It was as clear as day, as right as rain, as true as first spinjitzu master himself. I had always known it. Though the words hadn't been spoken we both knew. I didn't need her to say it but she did. She finally did. I knew she did. Somewhere in my subconscious, those words had come to me.

I would give anything to hear them again.

My mouth was open, chest heaving, my eyes wide and panicked as I grappled for something that wasn't there. Salt was on my tongue, tearing through my throat as water filled my lungs.

I love you.

"JAY!" Their voices sounded so far away.

I blinked, a sleepy smile on my face as I looked blearily into the water. Was that her? There was warmth against my hand. Something tingled on my forehead, a gentle pressure before I felt a brush by my ear.

"I love you." Her voice was like a song. I couldn't see her but I felt her. She was there.

She was there.

I tilted my head, my hand closing in on nothingness.

I-

Hands grasped me by my collar, yanking me out of the water until my head broke through the surface. It was suddenly much colder than it had been before. Something pressed against my chest. It should've hurt. Maybe it did but I didn't notice. All I could feel was her lips against the side of my face.

I sputtered, gasping and heaving as I spat up water. Worried tones flew over my head and something was being wrapped around me as I stared, shaking at the crashing waves. Palms pressed against my cheeks, lifting my head until my view of the water was blocked by two scared amber eyes. A fire was lit in them. It was such a sharp contrast to the gentleness in hers. I blinked slowly as they glared at me fiercely, their grip on my face bruising.

"What the hell were you doing?" The tone was angry but there was something under it that I couldn't quite place. It was something terrified, something raw, something so vulnerable that I almost missed it. It was a jagged emotion I've never heard from him before.

"I was calling to her," I murmured sleepily. Suddenly I felt so tired. I couldn't stop trembling. I blinked, there was a flutter of a smile on the edges of my lips. "She came."

The hands moved to my shoulders, shaking me so hard that my teeth rattled. "SHE'S GONE JAY!" The words were loud in my ear. I frowned. She had spoken much quieter. I wish he spoke that way.

"Kai, stop! Stop- calm down!" Another voice joined in, level-headed, strong. I grinned as I looked up at the familiar face. His lips were pinched in a thin line, his green eyes narrowed into snake-like slits. He kept them on Kai, steadying in a way that only he could achieve.

"Did you feel her, Lloyd?" My words were slurred as I rocked back and forth. "I couldn't see her but she was there. She came."

She came.

"Help him, help him please!" Kai's eyes glistened with tears. His voice breaking as he fought against Lloyd's hold. "She's not there. She's gone, Jay, wake up! WAKE UP!"

"Kai! Stop it! STOP IT!" Lloyd's gentle tone was raised into a shout. Lloyd has never raised his voice before. Fists trembled at his sides as Kai stood frozen, chest moving in laboured breaths. The others around us stared silently. A sad, tense emotion hanging around them.

I blinked in confusion, looking down at the coarse fabric wrapped around me. That wasn't right. The beach was a happy place. It wasn't sad or angry. It was somewhere we went to free ourselves from the stress and responsibility. It's where Kai laughed and Zane played games, where Lloyd finally let loose and had fun! Where Cole indulged in sweet treats and where Nya and I would sit with each other, simply enjoying each other's company.

Nya.

My brow furrowed.

Where was she? She was just here, where did she go?

"Nya," I rasped softly. They all stopped staring at each other to look at me. I looked around in a daze. "Nya?"

There was a soft shushing sound as Cole settled beside me, wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders as he tucked my body into his side. Kai let his hand relax, they thudded against his thighs pathetically as he watched the waves crash against the sand with red-rimmed eyes.

"What are we going to do?" Kai asked out loud. I didn't know if he was asking us or the world. It didn't answer him. Neither did we.

He gave a cold, bitter laugh. "Huh? Are we just going to watch Jay's every move so he doesn't take a swim again? Are we going to shove down food and make weak attempts as conversation as we look at Nya's empty chair? Is that what our lives will be for the rest of our lives? This hallowed place in our hearts? This empty void I can't escape from?"

"Kai-" Zane said quietly, he moved towards him but Kai flinched back, his arms defensive. Zane automatically stopped, keeping his palms up as if he was trying to calm a wild animal.

"This shadow growing inside me? It's swallowing me and I can't escape it. I can't. And Jay can't either!" Kai continued, throwing a hand out towards me.

Lloyd stepped forward, his voice shaking with effort as he spoke. "I know it hurts, Kai. When Garmadon took over Nya and I thought you were all dead. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt. There was this hole inside me no one could fill. Nya was heartbroken. She believed she lost the two most important people in her life. But she pulled through. She was strong for me, for the resistance, and all of Ninjago. I can be that for you too but I can't do it alone."

Kai shook his head, his arms wrapping around his body as if it was holding him together. "I can't, Lloyd. No matter what you do or say, she won't come back and I can't rise from that."

"Please," Lloyd said desperately. "I'm trying to be what she was! I'm trying to hold the sky for you but it is weighing down on me. My arms are shaking and all I can do is watch the world crumble around me."

"Maybe that's because your trying isn't good enough." There was a sharp inhale from beside me. Cole stared at Kai, shaking his head quickly. His gaze was warning but Kai continued anyway. "Maybe you aren't good enough. I'm not moving on, Lloyd. I've risked everything to protect Ninjago but Nya was a price I wasn't willing to pay."

Lloyd physically flinched as if he'd been slapped. "Kai..." he whispered.

Kai gently took his katana from its holster. He looked down at it thoughtfully, the blade gleamed, and his tired, broken, face stared back at him. "I'm done." He said, his voice was barely more than a whisper.

Lloyd's face crumbled, the strong exterior he had been projecting falling. "No. No, we'll figure this out. We can- we can find some ancient artifact or something to bring her back! We can fix this!"

"We can't, Lloyd," Kai's tone was sad. All anger seeped away. "I'm sorry." Kai turned the blade once in his hands before presenting it to the green ninja. "I won't need this anymore."

Lloyd shook his head quickly, refusing to take the sword. Kai sighed and simply drove its tip into the sand, watching as the sword stayed embedded in the ground.

"I think I'm going to go away for a while," Kai told Lloyd quietly. "Don't come looking for me."

"Kai, come on, I know you're hurting but we are too! Nya wouldn't want this!" Cole jerked up.

"Nya wanted to stay with us but hey! We can't always get what we want!" Kai said bitterly, he slowly stepped away.

"You are in distress, your grief is making you act rashly." Zane tried to reason with him.

Kai shook his head. "No, Zane, it's not. I've considered leaving so many times. After our first big battle, after Zane died! When Wu disappeared too! I told myself I was a coward to even consider leaving. So I stayed. But now? Now, I don't care if I'm a coward! If I had been a coward when I first had the chance then maybe Nya would be here!"

Something, almost a stabbing pain, like a blade was being driven through my soul, tore through me. I blinked, looking at Kai with sad eyes. "She wouldn't have left with you." I croaked.

Kai looked at me a few moment. Something conflicting in his gaze but then he simply nodded and turned away. "Goodbye, Lloyd." He glanced once at the green ninja, his leader, his brother before starting his trek along the beach. They all stared in shock as he began to move farther and farther away.

"KAI!" Lloyd yelled, tears were starting to fall as he shouted desperately into the air. "KAI! COME BACK!"

He didn't turn around.

The voices were growing louder as Cole and Zane tried to calm him. Lloyd's voice tore as he screamed and sobbed for his brother, as he watched our beautiful family he torn apart once more. This time it seemed permanent. My eyes looking out to the horizon. The sun bobbed over the sea, glimmering like the embers of a fire in the ocean. The roll of the tide sang over Lloyd's heartbroken cries.

I love you. The waves seemed to say.

I smiled. "I love you too."

NOTE*****

While Zane was the brains of the group and Lloyd was the heart I believe that Nya was the spine. She supported the team, held them straight and sent them where they needed to go. I imagine that they'd all struggle a lot when Nya left. Jay would put himself in danger just so he could hear her in the water. Kai wouldn't see the point in being a ninja anymore. And Lloyd would try and hold everything together, only for it all to fall apart.

So in short, I believe that if the ninjago writers don't bring her back they will have a crap ton of angry ninjago fans at their doorstep.

I've always had an aversion to swearing thanks to my good ol' goody two-shoes brain and catholic religion. But I've since learned that swearing isn't all bad as long as you treat it as you would anything sharp and cutting. It's powerful. Just to quote Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility. If you use the word with respect then I don't think it's this big sin that the world makes it to be. Just be responsible.

I felt that the use of the word hell was very important. Saying "heck" or "what in the world?" didn't carry the same weight and desperation as "What the hell?" So I decided I would use my first swearword in the intention of swearing in a book.

Of course it had to be in an angsty one-shot. 😂

I hope you all liked this one-shot. I hope I did Nya a justice! I worked very hard at this and the words truly came from my heart.

Have a great day!

LuckyBugBooks 🐞