Abhi abhi bhoole bhi na the tumhe
Khayal banke phir tum aa gaye
Ehsaas jo thhe dil mein kayi ankahe
Lafzon pe woh phir yun aa gaye

Saanson ke sarzamin par barshaat la gaye
Ek jhapki mein tere sau khaab aa gaye
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyar hai tumse
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyar hai tumse

Maanti hoon khuda tujhiko
Tu hi to hai rehbar mera
Ab se khalipan mein bhi tu
Paas mere khada
Tu hai nahi yahaan
Ye na yaqeen huaa
Kaise karoon ye khud se bayaan
Bikhri hoon har jagah
Main ret ke tarah
Na mere dard ki hai dawa...

Saanson ke sarzamin par barshaat la gaye
Ek jhapki mein tere sau khaab aa gaye
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyaar hai tumse
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyaar hai tumse

Toot ke bikhra pada hoon
Saans lena bhi hai sazaa
Jeene mein ab kya rakha hai
Mar raha sau dafaa
Kaisi ye saazishein
Roothi hai ranjishein
Leti hai karwatein zindagi
Ab kis mod par aakar ruka hoon main
Na koi raah hai na pataa...

Saanson ke sarzamin par barshaat la gaye
Ek jhapki mein tere sau khaab aa gaye
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyaar hai tumse
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyaar hai tumse

Hai alag yeh baat phir bhi
Tu mera na kabhi huaa
Phir bhi maine tujhko apne
Dil mein di hai jagah

Tu mera naa huaa
Ab ye yaqeen huaa
Kya thi meri khata
Tu bataa
Jaaun kahaan main ab
Manzil ka na pataa
Thehra hoon iss qadar tujhmein haan

Saanson ke sarzamin par barshaat la gaye
Ek jhapki mein tere sau khaab aa gaye
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyaar hai tumse
Bepannah... bepanah...
Pyaar hai tumse

Bhabhi's words were revolving in my head again and again.

Me and marriage....

No this can't happen.

I can't marry someone.

I can't. I will not. Never can I dream of marrying someone.

Bhai bought me back from my thoughts when he kept his hand on my shoulder and pressed trying to comfort me and support me.

I looked at him directly in eyes telling him that I will not marry Agastya.

He understood and nodded

"Nobody would force you." he said and I nodded feeling a little relief.

"Come let's go inside." Bhabhi said

As soon as Bhabhi opened the door of the living room we heard a loud voice of my father. "Have you lost your mind, Maya? Instead of talking with your daughter you want Naina to marry Agastya? Go and add some sense to your daughters mind."

"What wrong have I said? If Barkha don't want to marry then Naina can marry Agastya in Barkha's place." Mrs. Kapoor said.

"She will not." Bhai said. "She was never involved in this matter and will never get involved. Leave her alone."

Mrs. Kapoor rolled her eyes.

"Why can't she?" Mrs. Kapoor asked in an angry tone

"Because she don't want to. She will not marry Agastya and nobody will ask her to do so." Bhai said in a hard tone.

"Can't she do even this small thing to save our reputation?" Mrs. Kapoor yelled making me shocked and furious.

Who's she to decide what i would do and what I won't?

Its my fu*king life.

"No she can't." Bhai said

"When she can marry once then why not again." Mrs Kapoor said and that was it. I can't hear anything now but her sentence bought so many hurtful memories in front of my eyes. My heart was beating furiously, my mind was just revolving around the memories of past, memories of him, memories of us and memories of how he left me.

"Shut up Mrs. Kapoor. Dad either stop your wife from spitting nonsense or I will forget that she's your second wife and you are my father." Bhai yelled

Dad was silent. I looked at him, his face was blank and I finally understood that he never cared for me and would never care for me.

I looked at him in eyes and turned around to leave.

"Why are you leaving now? Your dad did so much for you. He gave you all the luxuries, he educated you, he gave you food, clothes and what not. He's the reason you're living today and you can't just do one little thing for him. If not to save the respect and reputation of Kappoors the least you can do is repay for all those things he did for you." I heard Mrs. Kapoor's voice which made me froze in my steps. It was feeling like someone is sucking the life out of me. A shiver ran down my whole body.

"Maya. Stay in your limits" I heard dadi angrily warning her.

I turned around and looked at her with tears filled eyes. I looked at my father expecting him to say something atleast now but he was silent.

That was it for me and my tears started streaming down my eyes. I called Ridhaan from the kids room and ran away from there..

I just wanted to run far away. A place away from all this chaos and all these people.

I heard my father, Bhai, Bhabhi, Dadi and Dadu calling my name but I didn't had power to face them anymore. I was feeling like Noone is here for me. Nobody is here for me to call mine.

I sat on the driving seat, buckled up Ridhaan in his seat and turned the car on.

Driving to my penthouse I called Ridhaan's caretaker to come out and take him.

"Saima Aunty is coming. You go with her. Mum a will be back in some hours." I said wiping my tears and trying my best to not let anymore tears to escape.

"Why are you crying Mumma?" Ridhaan asked observing my face from the rear view mirror.

"I am not." I said

"You're lying. You said Lying is bad and now you're lieing." he said

A lump formed in my throat I kept my head on the staring wheel and sighed. Again tears started spilling.

Someone knocked on the window and I heard Saima's voice.

"Go Ridhaan and do your homework." I ordered in a tired voice.

"I have no homework. My holidays started today." he said which only made me more irritated. What was I doing? Crying in front of my baby. Making him scared. Making him see that his mother is not what he thinks she is. Hir mother is very weak. Very alone.

" Then do your holiday homeowrk Ridhaan. Just go." I yelled.

I yelled at my baby for the first time in my life.

I looked at him from the rear view mirror, shocked at myself. What the hell did I do?

Ridhaan's lips started quivering.

"You are bad." he said and stepped out of the car. I saw him running inside the building while Saima tried following him.

What did I do?

I hurted my baby. I hurted the only person who I can call completely mine. I hurted the most important person of my life.

How can I? How fuc*ing can I? I groaned and slammed my fist in the staring wheel thrice.

It pained. It pained so much but not more than my heart.

He said I am bad.

Turning on the ignition of the car I started driving. Far far away from everything.

I want to escape from all this.

I don't know for how long I drive aimlessly but when I stopped I was at the outskirts of Delhi in a village. Nothing except fields were visible. Green and yellow mustard plants were wsdancing in the wind and the sun was about to set.

I kept my head on the staring wheel and cried my heart out.

Why?

Why God? Why me?

What sins have I committed to have such a life?

Why? Why did you took him away from me?

He loved me, he cared for me. He understood me. He was there for me when I cried, he was there for me when I smiled. He was there for me in my pains. He was there for me in joys. Why did he left me? Why did he left me alone.

I loved him. I love him.

I am tired of everything now. I am lost. I don't know the way ahead. I don't know what to do. I am lost in this huge blackhole where I have Noone with me.

I love him.

I can't marry someone else. I can't even think about it. I, my heart, my life only belongs to him.

I can't marry someone else.

I can't. I still love him. I will love him forever. His love, his memories can never leave me. I will always love him.

My thoughts broke whne I heard my phone ringing.

I picked up my phone and saw it was an emergency call from my home landline. Fear started crawling in my body.

What has happened? Is Ridhaan alright.

I answered the call and put the phone near my ear with shaky hands.

"Hello Mumma." I heard Ridhaan's voice.

Ridhaan. Ar.. Are you okay baby? "I asked and turned the car ands tarted driving

"I.. I am okay.. I am okay Mumma. Everything is okay. But please come.. Come back Mumma. I love you.. I promise I will hear you at the first time in future but please.. Please come back Mumma." he said in between cries.

"Ridhhu bacha. Shhh. Calm down baby. Mumma is not going anywhere and I am coming home only. And it's okay baccha Mumma is not angry at you. I am sorry baby I should not have yelled at you baby. Okay now stop crying. Mumma is coming home only with Riddhu's favourite ice cream. Then we both would watch movie and will eat ice cream okay." I said wiping my tears.

"Come back fast Mumma. And.. And bring chocolate brownie ice cream too. Its.. Its your favourite na." he said not not crying but taking deep breaths trying not to cry anymore.

"Okay Mumma will bring her favourite ice cream too. Now be a good boy. Okay don't cry. I am coming in some time. Okay?" I said.

"Okay Mumma. I love you." he said

"I love you too my baby. I love you too." I said

"And.. And mumma. You're.. You're not bad." he said in a guilty voice, the call ended and the tear gates of my eyes opened again.

Soon I broke into loud sobs.

Ridhaan is here for you Naina.

You're not alone.

Ridhaan loves you.

I picked up my phone to see time but instead I saw 30 missed calls from Bhai, 20 from Bhabhi and 2 from an unknown no. Ignoring the calls I looked at the time. It was 5:43. Very late.

Ridhaan must be hungry.

Sighing I drove back towards my pent house and finally reached there ain almost 3 hours.

Ridhaan was waiting for me at the door and instantly hugged me tightly like his life I'd dependent on that hug. He again started crying. I sat Doan on my knees and hugged him back patting his head and back while mumbling seen nothings in his ear.

"I love you mumma. You're best. You're the bestest mumma in whole world." Ridhaan was whispering this whole time wil ei answered him stying i would never leave him. And that I love him too.

But then just one sentence. One sentence which he mumbled unknowingly made my heart sank.

"Please mumma never leave me like papa."

My breath hitched and a shiver ran down my spine.

After calming Ridhaan down I walked inside the house and turned on the TV and handed him ice cream.

Walking into my closet I checked my phone while taking out my pajamas to change into.

It was 50th call from Bhai.

Sighing I answered the call

"Hello?" I asked

"Thank god you finally answered. What the hell Naina? Why were you not answering? We all are so tensed for you. Anyways where are you? Are you okay? Why didn't you answered the calls? Where is Ridhaan? Is he OK..."

"I am fine Bhai and Ridhaan is also fine. I am at my home." I replied.

"Thank god."Bhai said and heaved a breath of relief. After a silence of few second he said again.

"Naina...Dad had a stroke." Bhai informed.

"Oh." I said. I was speechless. I did not know what to say.

"Yeah after you left he.. He had a stroke. We took him to hospital." Bhai said

"How's he now?" I asked. I still care. I hate myself for caring for him after all the things.

"He's fine now. Doctors said it was just a minor stroke and he will be discharged from hospital by tomorrow." bhai replied.

"OK." I said

"Hmm. And Naina about what Mrs. Kapoor said....umm. Please don't overtbing about it. Okay. Ignore her statements. Forget about it. Don't let it affet you." Bhai said

"I think it's a little late to say this Bhai. Anyway I will visit Kapoor mansion tomorrow and will tell everyone my decision." I said

"What decision? Naina please don't let Maya to change your decision. Please dont force something like this marriage on yourself. Naina. I am scared.. I am scared you'll break if you'll agree to this marriage Naina. You already have faced so much hurt after him...."Bhai said in a panicked voice which made me smile a little. A painful smile.

"I am already broken Bhai." I said

"Nai.. Naina Please." Bhai pleaded.

"Bye Bhai." I said

"Naina. Please don't" I heard him say

"Bye." I said once again and ended the call.

I am already broken and I have a fear that this marriage might crumble me.

I sighed and dialled Vivek's number.

He answered the call within 5 seconds.

"Hello, Good evening Ma'am How can I help you?" he asked

"I want Agastya Sharma's personal number urgently." I ordered.

"Okay ma'am, give me 10 minutes. I will message you the number." he replied.

"Okay." I replied and ended the call.

Agastya Sharma.

I need to talk to him before telling everyone my decision. He needs to know some things.

Within 3 minutes I was calling Agastya. I was surprised when I saw 2 missed calls from his number

First he didn't picked my call but then I dialled again and this time he answered.

"Hello?" he said

"Hey, Naina Kapoor this side." I said

"Why am I not shocked about you knowing my personal number. Anyway how come you're calling me?" he asked

"I think you know the reason, Mr Sharma." I said

"What are you talking about?" he asked. He really don't know? How can this be possible? He's the top businessman of whole Asia and can't be this stupid.

"You know very well that Barkha has declined to marry you." I said in a cold voice. This man is getting on my nerves.

"Yes I know that but how this relates to you?" he asked.

"Well I have some debts which I need to pay and in the payment I was asked to marry you." I said "And I don't like being indebted or when someone do some favours for me so I am gonna pay my debt and will marry you. I already know that it doesn't matter to you if Barkha is marrying or me. You just want to save your family's reputation." I said

"It does." he replied

"What?" I asked confused.

"Nothing. So now you're going to marry me." he said

"Yes. But before that I want to clear one thing with you." I said

"I am all ears." he replied

"You might already know that I am a single mother and after marrying I am not going to leave my son in any way. He would always live with me and you can't force me or ask me to leave him. I would always be his mother first." I said

"Get ready for our wedding Naina." he said in a deep tone which made a shiver ran down my spine.

And the call ended.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I walked towards the huge floor to roof glass windows and looked at the sky filled with the stars.

Again the past memories were flooding my mind.

Tears started sliding my eyes.

"I love you. I miss you." I said looking at the stars "Please forgive me. I have to do this for Ridhaan. He needs a father figure. He needs a father's love and care but I will always love you. Sorry." I said and just stood there alone with tears sliding down my cheeks continuously.

########

Next day I woke up from the living room couch. Whole night I couldn't sleep. Memories of him, of us kept revolving in my mind. After freshening up, getting ready and feeding Ridhaan I started packing my clothes, Ridhaan's clothes, my important files, and other important things.

After completing  the packing I loaded the bags in the car trunk and fi ally me and Ridhaan drive towards the Kapoor Mansion.

I called Bhai on the way to know if father got his discharge. And he said that they are on the way to Kapoor mansion.

Soon I reached Kapoor mansion. Taking a huge breath in I picked Ridhaan up and walked inside.

Its time to break some past relations and build some new ones.

I walked inside the living room.

Bhai was striding tensely in the living room while Bhabhi, Dadu and Dadi were sitting one the couch.

"Where's father?" I asked

As soon as they gerad my voice they stood up and Bhai stopped walking and looked at me.

"You're not doing this." Bhai warned me.

"Stop it Bhai. Where's he?" I asked.

"Don't" Bhai said in an emotionless hard tone.

I sighed and looked at Bhabhi she was also silent.

I saw Mrs. Kapoor entering the living room.

"Where's your husband?" I asked her

"My husband is resting in his room. But why are you asking? I thought you didn't care for him." she taunted.

"I don't." I replied and walked towards the stair.

"Naina please don't." Bhai yelled and started following me.

Ignoring him I walked inside my father's room and locked the door behind me

The sound of the door getting locked made my father look at me.

I looked at him he was lying on the bed. Suddenly he seemed way older than his usual self. He was looking weak and tired. The sight of him like this pained me a little. Not very much.

"Mr. Kapoor, I am ready for this marriage." I said

"You don't have to." he whispered slowly.

"No i am ready. I have to repay all the debts. After this there will  be no relation between us. I break all the ties with you right at this moment." I said and unlocked the door which was continuously being knocked by Bhai.

As soon as I opened the door I came face to face with my brother.

"Start preparing for the wedding." I said "And I request you to do my kanyadaan in place of him." I said pointing towards my father

A tear escaped my father's eys but I ignored it. Why's he crying now?

#############

Heyyyy everyone

How are you all?

I hope you liked the chapter.

Please vote and comment. Don't forget to share this book with your friends.

Thankyou for reading.

Signing off
Meera.