9-15-15 two days clean
And I realized I'd changed
When the pop tracks
Made me want to throw up
And blonde hair wasn't fun anymore.

I looked in the mirror and I didn't see a person,
I saw the demons screaming at the windows of my soul,
My nostalgic green eyes.

I wanted to let the world know how bad I wanted to scream
And I wanted to present what I did
With fire.
This is not who I used to be
And they've got a storm coming.

I knew I had changed
When school just doesn't matter like it did.
I tell you how insane I am
And laugh when I explain my deadly rituals.

I hear depression
In my own reflection.
When did mirrors start to speak?
When did I forget to breathe?

I used to back away and never stand up
For what I believed in,
For I believed in all the wrong things.
Nowadays,
My words are the poison truth.
You either relate to what I say,
Think I'm completely off the rails (I truly am psychopathic, it's okay),
Or you hate what I do.
And to be honest,
This is for you if you like it
But it's also for me
So I can let it all out.
I need to be able to do this.
This is my best form of self expression,
It's everything the voices tell me
When they speak through the silence
In hushed tones
When the dark rolls around.

Here I am.
I hate myself
And love myself at the same time.
- (m.m)