*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Six months passed with still no word from Mark. No letters. No signs. Nothing. Summer ended and school came along, the classrooms seemingly emptier at the loss of a boy who was never there.

Donghyuck never thought looking at the ocean would hurt this much. That painful pull of his heart and the gasping for air to fill his lungs as he cried on the sand...it was all so new to him. So foreign. Which was ironic, seeing as he was crying over a foreigner. Days would go by where all he would do was stare out the window to the longing sea; the blue water taunting him, proving to Donghyuck just how unreachable Mark Lee truly was.

School came and went; and with the new season, came a new wave of sadness. Something much deeper than Donghyuck thought possible. A horrible throbbing in his heart, and swirling thoughts in his head.

His mother took him to his first therapy session right after his 19th birthday, and the doctor immediately diagnosed him with clinical depression. After the conversation between his mother and Miss Kang, Donghyuck was left shocked at his own emotions. I'm like this...because of love?

Miss Kang had said it was normal for people his age to fall into a depressive state such as his. And that she was on his side. Donghyuck didn't know what to think. Life became a pointless routine. A blank canvas, but Donghyuck didn't know what he wanted to paint. And when he tried to pick up a brush...all that he wanted to draw was Mark.

I'm so stupid. To think that I could continue like this without him...what was I thinking!?

His first year of college ended and Donghyuck was once again, left to his own as the summer months rolled around. A painful reminder of just how boring his life was before Mark came along. And a wake up call to how sad it was now that the boy was gone.

Donghyuck always asked his mother, "Mom...why does it hurt so much?"

And Sunhi would only smile as she caressed his cheek. "Because you're in love Hyuckie. You long for him."

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

Before long, two years had passed. And Donghyuck was now starting his second year of college as a 20 year-old. Mark would be 21...I wonder if he had a good birthday. Donghyuck would laugh to himself, recalling the memories of those two beautiful months with the Canadian boy. It hurt to think about, but by now Donghyuck was used to the pain. The numbness.

Miss Kang had prescribed him a new antidepressant, but from what Donghyuck could tell, it wasn't doing much.

"That's because the antidepressants are meant to calm your brain and boost serotonin and your dopamines...but it's your heart that's hurting."

At least, that's what Sunhi would always tell him; but he saw how stressed he was making her. And living on-campus, where she couldn't watch him, was even worse. Her only child, succumbed to pure despair, was now only home 5 months out of the year. And it worried her sick.

"Don't forget to write. And if you ever need anything, just come straight home."

Donghyuck would just smile and remind her, "You tell me this every year mom. Don't worry, I'm going to be fine." Then he would kiss her on the cheek, get in the car (she bought it for his 19th birthday) and drive off to uni.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

It was the middle of winter break when Donghyuck began to feel happy again. He was home with his mother and helped her in the garden. Life was tranquil and he found himself enjoying the smallest of things again. The great triumph when making a delicious cup of tea, or the innocent joy of watching the sun rise on the cliffs. It was the little things that would brighten up his day, and it was the exciting reminder of This year's the year. This year's the year!

The year in which Mark Lee would be graduating college. The year in which, once summer came back, Donghyuck could see his boyfriend again.

Some may say that his hope was futile and that Mark has already forgotten him, but Donghyuck knew better. He knew Mark. And they had made a promise to each other, that one way or another, they would meet again. They would be together again.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*