"You are Pregnant?" Ryan asks again. "Mae?"

I turn to the bathroom and throw up in the toilet. I flush and go rinse my face. I can not believe he found out. Why did I have to leave my phone out like that? What am I going to do? What if he leaves? I rush back to the toilet and hurl. I wash up and go to meet Ryan, who is now pacing the room.

"How are you?" he asks holding me. I nod. "Good" he says and sits me on the bed. "Now answer me, are you pregnant?", He looks at me and I can see the emotions swirling in his eyes. I wish I knew what he is thinking. I take a deep breath and nod.

"I need you to say the words, Mae".

"I am pregnant". He starts pacing again.

"You are pregnant" he says to himself nodding, "She is pregnant. You are going to be a dad". Is he going to run?

"Ryan, calm down" I say walking towards him.

"How do you expect me to calm down?" he shouts and I jump back. "We are having a baby" he adds. I just stand there and watch him pace the room. I wonder what he is thinking. I just hope he doesn't get too mad.

"How far along are you?" he asks snapping me back to reality. I look away. "How, Far. Along. Are. You?" he asks slowly. I don't answer. He walks up to me and holds my arm squeezing me. "How far along?" he asks again really angry.

"Ten weeks" I answer sheepishly.

"Ten weeks, Mae" he says squeezing my arm tighter. He is hurting me.

"How long have you known you that you are pregnant?" he asks.

"Six weeks" I answer avoiding his eyes.

"Look at me" he shouts still squeezing me.

"You are hurting me, Ry"

"Look At Me" he thunders and I look in his eyes. I wish I didn't. I could see the hurt he is feeling, the sadness and betrayal but right now they are all overshadowed by his anger. His hands squeeze me more.

"You are hurting me" I repeat close to tears. He would definitely leave a bruise.

"Six weeks, you have known for six weeks and didn't think to tell me" he says hurt. He finally releases me.

"I tried to, I really tried" I whisper.

"Not hard enough" he says and I know he is right.

"Every time I say let's talk, something comes up. What did you want me to do?"

"Maybe next time you actually sit me down and tell me or tell me when I was worried about you throwing up all the time or even when you fainted and you were in the hospital"

"I am sorry for not telling you and keeping it a secret" I say. "You said we weren't ready to be parents" I add. For a minute his eyes softened.

"If you had told me, do you think I would have said something so stupid?" he asks.

"But the fact that you didn't know and still said it means that is what you believe" I say.

"Doesn't mean I would have rejected you or our baby" he says. Our baby.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" he asks

"I was, I really was" I answer and open mu packed luggage. I remove the flat gift box inside and give it to Ryan. He opens it and a small onesie, a baby shoe and the ultrasound pictures from wee six and nine are inside. 'Hello Daddy' is printed on the onesie. "I was going to tell you" I add. he picks up the picture and looks at it, so many emotions swirling in his eyes.

"Two ultrasounds, Mae. Two" he says emotional.

"I really am sorry, Ryan. I hope you forgive me", he just stares at the pictures. "What did London say?" I ask trying to distract myself.

"She said to be careful with the baby when traveling" he says and sighs. Well that is not happening now. "How did I not know you were pregnant, all the signs were there, you were always throwing up, feeling sick, you ate weird and became more sensitive, even your breasts got bigger" he says rubbing his face with his hands.

"I am sorry" I say.

"I don't know, Mae" he says and walks out still holding the gift. I know he needs time to process this all, I just don't know how much time we're talking about.

I lay in bed and didn't know when the I started crying. I pull out my phone and send a text to the group chat

Ryan found out - M

What? - R

How - A

London called and Ry picked up - M

Wow -A

That is not good - R

Tell me about it - M

What did he say? - A

Or do -R

I told him I planned on telling him and game him the baby clothes i had bought and said I am sorry - M

And? - R

He took the gift and walked out. I don't know what to expect - M

I'm sure he just needs time - A

I know but how much time - M

Maybe I should talk to him - R

He doesn't know I told you guys. So for now, don't. Let's see how it all plays out - M

Alright -R

Just know we are here for you - A

I know. Love you guys - M

Love you - R

Love you too - A

I do not know what to do. I hope everything turns out well. I make my way downstairs and get something to eat. I sit in the living room with a plate of Nutella and Peanut butter spread on toast. I open Netflix and play Supernatural season one.

"You are going to love this show" I say touching my belly. "It is mummy's favorite show". I feel the baby kick, felt like a flutter in my belly. I laugh. "Mummy loves it when you move, makes her feel like you are here with her". I take a bite of the food. Yum.

"See, that is Dean and his brother Sam, they are both very cute" I say to my belly. "You need to see them now though. So much older and still very handsome" I say and take another bite.

"Your daddy is upset with me" the baby moves, "Okay fine, he's mad at me. I really am sorry that I didn't tell him. I was just scared he would reject us. He isn't ready for a kid yet, he said so himself. What if he had distanced himself from me. I know I couldn't have kept you a secret forever but I needed more time. I really wish I had told him before he found out from someone else. Maybe he wouldn't be this mad". I laugh as I feel another flutter.

"I wish your daddy is here to feel you, you are moving so much today".

"Is it?" I hear from behind me. I turn around to see Ryan standing there.

"How long have you been there?" I ask.

"Long enough" he answers blankly. Okay, he is still mad. It had just been a few minutes. "Is the baby moving".

"Just feels like flutters" I answer. "Do you want to feel it?" I ask.

He walks up to me and sits down beside me just looking at me. I raise my top up and take his hand. He struggles against me but I hold on to his hand and place it on my stomach, his hand relaxes against my stomach.

"Daddy is here" I say placing my hand on Ryan's. Ryan looks at me and his face relaxes as he feels the baby's little kick. He has a big grin on his face.

"Daddy is here" he says and there's a little movement. He almost laughs but catches himself and removes his hand.

"When did you first feel the kick?" he asks almost feeling betrayed.

"On the night of our date four days ago" I say. "You were there" I add.

"I was there but I didn't know what was going on" he says hurt. "You should have told me".

"I am sorry and since secrets are out. Ava, Raina and my mum know" I blurt out.

"Am I the last to know?" he asks standing up.

"I swear you are not, not just the first" I say quietly.

"I am going to bed" he says and goes upstairs.

I take my phone out and text him;

I have another ultrasound appointment in two weeks. I should have had it last week but I couldn't go without you so I kept pushing it back. I really hope you would be there with me or I would not go - M

I really hope he comes.

I finish watching more than half of 'Supernatural' before going to bed. I toss and turn in bed. When did I become so used to sleeping next to Ryan? I toss and turn trying to find a comfortable spot. I couldn't. I drag myself off my bed and go to Ryan's room, he is fast asleep or I think he is. I gently lay in bed with him and quickly fall asleep.

When I wake up, Ryan isn't in bed. No, my heart starts pounding as I think he doesn't want to be with me. I feel my stomach upset and I rush to the bathroom and throw up in the sink.

"Are you okay?" I hear Ryan say he holds onto my hair. I quickly rinse my mouth.

"Where were you?" I ask hugging him. He doesn't hug me back. I step away from him and cannot stop the tears from falling. I quickly leave his room and run to mine, he doesn't call after me. I am sure I cried for a whole five minutes before falling asleep.

***

11 Weeks - Lime; 12 Weeks - Plum

I have been working from home this past couple of weeks. Doesn't mean things at home are great though. Ryan hasn't said a word to me this past week. He just makes sure I have eating and resting enough, it's as if I am more of a surrogate than his wife and mother of his child. Lately I feel like my body and mind are going haywire. I cannot seem to calm down, I don't know if it is the pregnancy or if it is what is happening with Ryan.

I still feel nauseous especially in the morning and I am tired all the time. I can't walk from here to the door without feeling like I just ran a mile, I am having headaches and feeling dizzy some times. The good news is my breast is fuller and I love it. But more bad news, I feel gassy and my legs are cramped up so I have to move them up. More good news, I heard my baby is developing tooth buds, hair follicles and nail beds now which I think is pretty cool. I have my doctor's appointment today, London said the ultrasound should show my fetus clearer. My dad, Ryan's parents, Lucas, Larson and Suzie do not know yet. I am meeting with mine and Ryan's parents after my ultrasound today, I already know how I am going to tell them and Suzie, I still have to figure out how to tell Larson and Lucas.

I get ready for my ultrasound, I really hope Ryan makes it, I know he is still upset. I am not showing that much yet even though I am already twelve weeks pregnant. I am happy about that and I am expecting my baby bump any minute now. I wear a loose gown, do my make-up and get ready to leave. I see Ryan waiting outside.

"Hi" I greet nervously

"Get in" he says and gets into the driver's seat. I guess time isn't easing his anger. I quickly get in and he puts on my seatbelt for me. Having him so close to me sends my libido into overdrive. I take a deep breath and hold it releasing it when he sits back. He starts driving ignoring me.

"Talk to me Ryan" I beg. He just turns on the radio and ignores me. I stare out the window.

I can't take the silence anymore, it feels like I am choking in the car and I suddenly feel nauseous, my stomach starts dancing and not in the good way.

"Stop the car" I say. He doesn't answer.

"STOP THE CAR!!!" I shout and he presses the brake suddenly. I open the door and get out the car stretching my leg and breathing fresh air in. Ryan gets down and watches me pace. "Why wouldn't you even talk to me?" I ask but he says nothing.

"I said I was sorry, Ry. What do you want me to do?" I ask.

"Get in the car, Mae" he says instead.

"No"

"In the car" he says slowly.

"NO!! I'd call a taxi, you can go" I say and walk away from the car taking my phone out my purse. Ryan drags it from my hand. "Hey!"

"Get in the car now" I stand my ground ignoring him. He lifts me off the ground on his shoulder and carries me to the car, he opens it and put me on the floor. He blocks my path with his body. "Inside" he commands.

"Not unless you talk to me".

"Inside" he repeats.

"I would rather have this baby by myself and run away from you forever than have this baby with you when you are ignoring me like this" I state and fold my hands. He rubs his face with his hand.

"Fine, I would talk to you but please just get in the car" he says. I obey him and get in, he stretches across me and puts my seatbelt on before getting in the car.

"I am sorry, Ry. But I meant what I said. I really need you to forgive me 'cause I can't do this pregnancy alone" I sigh and look out the window. I feel relieved as I feel his hands on my leg squeezing me reassuringly.

"I'm here for you always" he says. I look at him.

"As my husband or just as the baby's father?" I ask and don't get a respond. At least he is talking to me.

We finally get to the hospital and we are in London's office not long after.

"I am happy you are both here" London says. She has no idea she spilled the beans. "I am happy Mae finally told you" she says to Ryan. "For some crazy reason, she was scared you wouldn't be happy about the baby". Ryan looks at me and I look away.

The look on Ryan's face changes when he sees our baby on the screen. He holds my hand and I am happy he is here with me. The ultrasound is so much clearer and my cute fetus is grown.

"Congratulations you two" London says. "You are going to make a wonderful family" she adds. I look at Ryan and he is looking at me. We are actually a family now. It is no longer Ryan and I.

I keep looking at the picture from the ultrasound on my way back home, one hand on my belly. Ryan looks like he is in thought and I didn't want to disturb that. When we get home. I quickly shower and am still in towel out my bathroom when my door knocks.

"Come in" I say. I know it is Ryan, I could smell him from outside.

"Can we talk before we leave from my parents" he asks. My heart suddenly start beating erratically scared of what he might say. I sit on the chair and he joins me.

"I am here for you as your husband not just our baby's father. I am sorry I haven't been there for and with you this couple of weeks, I was just hurt but today at the hospital I realized that it doesn't matter. I want to be here for you and our little baby every step of the way. I am sorry" he says and I feel the tears fall from my eyes.

"I am sorry too" I say full on crying now. Ryan cleans my tears with his fingers and the gesture sends heat through my core. Would it be too early to kiss him? I look at his lips and bite mine. His eyes follow my movement and his eyes cloud. His lips crash into mine and he kisses me with so much passion. I have missed him.

"I missed you" he says into my lip voicing my thought. "I miss the taste of you" he adds as he kisses my neck. I sit across his laps on the chair and he kisses down my shoulder.

"Did I tell you how much I love this pregnancy breasts" he says and I laugh.

***

Ready for my second parent's house, I put a copy of my ultrasound on the kitchen island with the note; 'Will you be my nanny' is written on it. I send a text to Suzie telling her I have something for her in the kitchen to get before Ryan and I leave the house. At my second parent's house, Ryan and I take the gifts we brought into the house.

After hugs and food, we all gather in the living room and I give each of them a wrapped box.

"What did you get us?" my dad asks.

"Just open it" Ryan answers.

Their faces break into the sweetest smile as they bring our the mug and frame pictures. I framed a picture of the ultrasound and designed, 'Grandparents... Est 2020' on the frame. The mug reads. 'Only a few parents get promoted to Grandparents'.

"Are you serious, I am going to be a Papa" Ryan's dad says.

"I'm the Papa" my dad says. They start arguing about it. Ry's mum walks up to me and hugs me.

"This is the best day ever, I am going to be a grandma' she says and starts crying and because she cries, I cry and then my mum cries.

"Congratulations, my baby" my dad says hugging me.

"Congrats dear" my other dad hugs me.

"I noticed you are different" Ry's dad says.

"You are glowing" my mum says.

"That might be because of what we did before coming" I whisper to Ryan who starts coughing. I try not to laugh.

"We are going to be grandparents" my other dad says.

"This calls for celebration" my dad agrees.

"Let me get the scotch I have been keeping for a special occasion. This is that special occasion" Matt, Ry's dad says and they all pile out leaving Ryan and I alone in the room.

"I guess we are not invited" Ryan says and I nod my head.

"You can go join" I suggest.

"I want to be with my family" he says and kisses my forehead. I place my hand on my stomach and rest my head on Ry's shoulder.

This is My Family.