"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep," Seokjin said, changing position under his blanket.

"Yes, you will succeed," Jungkook reassured him, stroking his head to soothe him, the same way the oldest had done for him two nights earlier.

Yoongi had given Seokjin one of the anxiolytics that he had tried to take as a remedy for his insomnia without success since the cause of his illness was supernatural. However, on Seokjin, it seemed to calm him down as he was less agitated than when he had gone upstairs.

"You didn't whisper anything to your doll, that means you won't see the girl in your dream tonight, so don't worry," Jungkook reminded him while suppressing a yawn.

Jungkook was tired but he decided to force himself to stay awake until Seokjin fell asleep next to him, to let him know that he was safe. However, he didn't know that Seokjin felt empty without his doll. Knowing that it was not under his pillow or within reach did not make him feel good, contrary to what the maknae and the others might believe, despite what it had done to him earlier.

"Maybe it would be better for her to be with me instead of Namjoon?" Seokjin tried.

"Of course not, it has to be the furthest away from you," Jungkook refused.

Seokjin resigned himself and closed his eyes to try to find sleep without his doll to ease the worries it itself had caused. After a few hours, Jungkook was relieved to see that Seokjin had finally fallen asleep and he finally let himself go to sleep too...

The twilight light surrounding him when he opened his eyes made Seokjin shudder.

"N-no, I can't be here..." Seokjin stammered, "I didn't whisper tonight..."

"Seokjin, my sweet Seokjin, you have come back to me!" a cheerful voice crooned grabbing his chin with a gentle hand to force him to look at her while he was curled up against her in a now familiar position between them, his head in her lap.

Except Seokjin didn't remember putting himself in that position. Actually, he hadn't climbed a ladder this time. He hadn't had to do anything to find himself in Yoongichi's arms and he was terrified because of what he knew now. He quickly got up and walked away from her backwards.

"Oh that's knew! Are you're afraid of me now?" Yoongichi asked him with a half smile.

"O-of course I'm scared, I know what you did to the others!"

"What did I do to them?" the girl asked in an innocent voice, "I only helped you, you know that well."

"You didn't help me for free, you made them bear my burdens, you made them unhappy in my place! " he said to her, feeling the anger rising within him.

"I made them carry your burdens?" she repeated mockingly, emphasizing the "I". "You're the one who agreed to do it. You were so happy to get rid of those burden of yours that you didn't even ask yourself any questions! Yet, every ball and chain you attached to them were indeed your burdens Seokjin, not mine: yours. And every morning you woke up forgetting what you had done so you wouldn't have to feel the weight of your guilt. You are responsible for what I did to them. We did it together."

Yoongichi burst out laughing and for the first time, Seokjin didn't find his laughter pleasant at all. On the contrary, it made his blood run cold. She had just confirmed what he already knew, that he had harmed those he was supposed to protect.

"I-I don't ever want to do that again." I never want to use you again!"

"You don't mean what you say, I know the bottom of your heart better than your own mother, Seokjin," the girl replied, "because you entrusted me with what you never entrusted to anyone: your heart."

"N-no, you don't know anything! I don't need you anymore, I want you to get away from me," Seokjin said weakly, wanting to wake up but didn't know how to do it.

"What are you talking about, of course you need me, you are incapable of getting by on your own, you are drowning in your worries like an ant drowns in a glass of water!"

"I don't want to need you!" Seokjin cried. "I will manage otherwise. My dongsaengs will help me!"

"The very ones who never helped you and left you to fend for yourself? Those who criticized you and amplified your worries? The ones that, earlier, hurt you without thinking while trying to destroy me? They knew how attached you were to me, but they didn't care. They only think about themselves, never about you! You're still trying to put them before yourself but it's still you who's going to end up hurt and unhappy Seokjin, not them, don't you understand that?  They will have success and fulfillment, but you, Seokjin, what will you have? What will you have left when they have taken everything for themselves?

Seokjin looked confused because Yoongichi had just said. Seeing his rising distress, the girl said to him, smiling and in a softened voice:

"But I care about you, there is only you in my universe. I can and want to bring you everything you need. Together we can make all your worries disappear. Despite what they told you, you can continue to use my power as much as you want, do not listen to them, they're just jealous of what I can do for you. Do you see these two?"

Surprised, Seokjin looked at what she was pointing at and saw two boys that he recognized instantly this time: it was Namjoon and Jungkook. They were as still and silent as statues and nothing seemed to show that they were conscious of being there.

"This boy," Yoongichi said, getting behind Jungkook and putting an arm around his neck, "he's the one you've always cared for, who you've always protected and who you've always put before yourself. Yet, he never needed you, he is the Golden maknae, the one who manages to master perfectly and in a short time everything he learns. You are incapable of it, it takes you several weeks to master what he can master in a day. Plus, even though he is the youngest and you are the oldest, he is the lead singer of the group while you are the one that no one wants to see on the front of the stage. Don't you dream of having what he has?"

"N-no... I don't," Seokjin lied . "P-please let him go!"

"And this one," Yoongichi continued slyly, heading this time towards Namjoon, "even though he's not the oldest, he's the leader, because he has all the qualities you don't have. He is loved, listened to and respected by others in a way you will never be. You are the useless elder, the one whose words everyone take lightly, the one they take for a clown and that fans take for a simple visual. Wouldn't you like to have this leadership charisma that is within reach and that I can offer you? All you have to do is take it from him!"

"No, no, no, I don't want to, stop it!" Seokjin exclaimed, placing a hand over his ears and shaking his head vigorously.

"Look, your burdens are here, which proves I'm right," Yoongichi mocked, pointing to two  heavy metal balls hanging from Seokjin's ankles. "Who do you want me to hang one on? The leader or the Golden Maknae?"

Seokjin widened his eyes when he saw the balls clinging to him. Was he really so jealous of Namjoon and Jungkook that he wanted to steal what they had?

Maybe... maybe they could get away with the thing they had if he was there for them and helped them right after, Seokjin began to think. That wouldn't make him a bad person, would it? After all, he was just trying to live a better life by seizing the opportunities that magic offered him because nature had not endowed him with the qualities he needed. Was it that bad?

Yes! a voice whispered to him, it's very bad and you are not a bad person. You are not capable of harming your dongsaengs. You can't hurt them, you have to protect them from harm and you should be happy to see them flourish with their talents, not be jealous of them.

No! an other voice said loudly. That's not a bad thing. They had enough time to enjoy the good things while you suffered, it's your turn now to enjoy what they have. Your hour of glory has arrived, you are going to be extraordinary!

Extraordinary... Seokjin repeated himself dreamily. He began to imagine what would happen from the next day if he accepted Yoongichi's gift.

He first imagined Namjoon experiencing self-doubt when he had to speak in public on behalf of his group. He imagined him no longer being taken seriously and being criticized for his lack of charisma. He imagined the other members turning away from him by withdrawing their trust and turning towards himself, the eldest and new charismatic leader of the group. It must have been amazing to be such an important figure to others! Seokjin thought. 

However, he then imagined Namjoon all alone, telling himself that he was useless to the group and that the CEO was wrong to make him the leader because he wasn't made for that. He imagined him saying to himself that he should have pursued a solo career rather than in a group and trying to leave the group because he didn't feel like he belonged.

Then, Seokjin imagined himself on the front of the stage as a lead singer adored by fans and successful in everything he did, blessed with an incredible number of gifts of nature: music, dance, drawing , sport... It was such an incredible feeling, Seokjin mused. 

Yet, in a corner of the scene, he also imagined Jungkook, depressed, feeling less than nothing, feeling like he had no talent next to Seokjin and the others.

These two scenarios pulled Seokjin out of his reverie and he felt like throwing up. He immediately moved away from Namjoon and Jungkook. He couldn't choose either one, none of them deserved to suffer. He didn't want to give any of them his heavy burdens to bear. How could he even imagine this odious possibility of doing this to them?  The magic of his doll had made him blind to the suffering of his dongsaengs, they had been right. He had to right his wrongs.

Ignoring Yoongichi who was watching him attentively, he continued walking with difficulty, pulling his heavy metalic balls behind him. He stopped only when he reached the edge of the moon, where he usually pushed his... victims.

Understanding what he was about to do, Yoongichi joined him at a superhuman speed that startled him.

"Will you have the courage to refuse my offer and sacrifice this chance just for them?" she whispered in his ear, making him shudder. 

"Yes," Seokjin said confidently this time. "I will no longer make them carry my burdens, I would rather carry them myself: I can manage alone. As for you, I will no longer confide my worries to you, I no longer want to see you, so disappear forever from my head!"

Yoongichi gave him a surprised look before bursting out cold laughing.

"Oh my Seokjin, haven't you figured out yet that I no longer need your permission to join you in your head? You gave me strength and now I am strong enough to ask for more. I will haunt you, I will never let you go!"

Horrified, Seokjin replied:

"I-I don't believe you, if I don't have anything to worry about, you will no longer have any power!"

"That's your problem Seokjin: you can't get rid of your worries, they come back more and more every time! You will always have something to worry about."

"Then I will accept all those worries as a part of me!" Seokjin yelled.

Thus, without waiting for Yoongichi's response to shake his resolutions and taking a deep breath to give himself courage despite the feeling of going straight to his own death, Seokjin dove into the sea of ​​clouds, where he had pushed Yoongi and the others so many times.