The messages of hate against him had streamed. 

     Lots of supportive messages too, especially from international fans who didn't understand how Jin could be responsible for the war and who refused to accept that South Korea could send a group of young idols, their idols, to save their country from a war.

     This army of fans had tried to use their relative influence to persuade all governments of the free world to force South Korea to stop this madness, some even proposing to boycott South Korea and all its kpop groups until BTS returned home safe and sound, to show the importance of the group in their hearts. 

      But everything was chained too quickly, and the information had not had time to circulate that it was already time for BTS to leave for North Korea.

     Anyway, Jin had not read any of those messages, neither the same day, nor the night during which he had however slept little, nor the next morning. He had only accepted the call of his parents who hadn't reproached him again for his faults because they already did that after the presidential address a day earlier. This time, they had asked him to take care of himself, to come back alive and above all, to bring honor to his country and his family, to restore his reputation.

    He had also accepted, more unusual, the call of Jimin's mother. No sooner had he picked up than the latter had burst into tears and had been unable to speak for long minutes. Like her son, she was devastated. Jin had therefore waited patiently for her to calm down, knowing full well that she wanted to blame him for his responsibility in the tragic fate of her son.

     "Seokjin," she started after several minutes, when her sobs had turned into irregular hiccups. "From what I understood, you are partly responsible for what happens to Jimin and the rest of the group, is that true?"

     "It is," he admitted, "and I'm beyond sorry for that, please forgive me."

     He hoped that the forgiveness given by Jimin's mother could also be a step forward in his future reconciliation with Jimin himself.

      "I know you're sorry darling and I'm ready to forgive you, but I'm just so afraid of losing my Jimin!"

      "You won't lose him!" Jin cried out with pain, refusing to imagine the opposite.

      "I want to believe it, but Jimin is just not ready to face such a cruel game. You're the only one with military training and that's why I want to entrust him to you. You can make up for your fault by protecting him, by protecting all of them, you understand?" she said in a trembling voice on the other end of the line.

     "I... I understand," Jin stuttered. "But I'm not their leader, you should call Namjoon, he is infinitely more trustworthy than me..."

     It cost him to say this, but he didn't want anyone to trust him when he himself no longer trusted himself.

     "I know you are not the leader of the group and I know why I chose to entrust Jimin to you rather than Namjoon. You are the eldest, so you must watch over your dongsaengs. That's what older brothers exist for, isn't it?"

     "Yes," Jin murmured. 

     Jimin's mother seemed relieved to hear him agree.

     "Then no matter your past conflicts together, you must comfort and protect Jimin. You know how fragile and sensitive he is... He... he's just a baby in my eyes, he is not yet a man and he is asked to be a soldier! Without you, he won't be strong enough to survive and come home. Please, promise me you will protect him! Please..."

     Jin didn't want to be asked such a favor. Of course, he wanted to and he knew before this call that he had to protect them. But the fact that the request was made to him expressly by Jimin's mother made him carry a responsibility too heavy to bear alone. 

     He understood that he had to embrace fully and immediately his role of mathyung :

     "I promise you. I will do everything in my power to bring the boys back safe," he replied, "even if it means giving my life for theirs." 

    This last statement made him shiver but it reassured Mrs. Park who hastened to thank him.

     "Thank you, Seokjin, truly. You're a good boy, you always have been. I hope one day to understand what went wrong between you and the other boys. In the meantime, I wish you good luck."

    "Thank you," Jin whispered, his throat too tight to speak any louder.

    "No, thant you, Seokjin. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. No matter what will happen, I forgive you," Mrs. Park sobbed.

     And he knew that if she had been next to him, she would have embraced him with affection, like in the past. She really had forgiven him. It warmed his heart and that's where he placed his promise to her. He would protect his dongsaengs. At all cost.

     Despite this promise however, Jin didn't know how to approach Jimin as the latter was now avoiding him like the plague, refusing to even look him in the eye. The eldest wanted to comfort him but he didn't feel he had the right to initiate any conversation. He was waiting for Jimin to talk to him.

     With the other members that morning, he was about to leave because their private flight to North Korea, accompanied by Ambassador Kim Chin-Hae, took place a few hours later, but they had been taken to the company to prepare physically. 

      By that, Jin discovered with horror when arriving that it was not about a sports or military preparation to survive in the DMZ. It was a question of going to the make-up artist, the hairdresser and the stylist.

     "Why?! Why do we have to wear makeup to go to North Korea?!" he asked, stunned as he entered the room last, where the staff to take care of them was waiting for them.

     Everyone looked at him with surprise: since when had he refused to take care of his image? 

     Certainly, since his return from the military service, he had more difficulty than others in being regular in his skincare routines and being conscientious in the way he stood in public, washed and combed his hair or dressed himself. Because at the barracks and on the field, he could not afford to be so neat in his appearance and he had kept bad habits that his dongsaengs had equated to laziness. 

     However, he had never refused to let the staff prepare him when necessary.

     "You are taking part in a public trip representing your country and you are going to be filmed, have you forgotten?" his manager replied, annoyed.

     "But I don't want to wear makeup, I want to look like a soldier! And I want my army haircut back!" Jin vigorously protested, remaining on the doorstep and refused to enter. "We shouldn't waste our time doing this when we still have time to think about how to cross the DMZ alive and win the Games!"

     "I already thought about that myself while you bemoaned your fate that night, because that's my job," Namjoon replied dryly. "I'll tell you all about it later, for now we have to prepare quickly."

     "Prepare?! Do you call that preparation?!" Jin snarled, "We're going to do makeup and get ready like we're going to a show while we're not only going to North Korea but also to the damn DMZ! You obviously know nothing about what is waiting us: we do need a preparation, but not this one. I knew you smarter, Joonie!" he added bitterly.

     "Oh, do you think you're smarter than me?" Namjoo ironized, "you want to take the place of leader because you did your military service, sorry, half of your military service, before ruining everything? Sorry, but I think we'll do without your advice."

     Jin was speechless. He didn't want to confront Namjoon, but no one seemed to take what he was saying seriously, the others remained silent and docile like dolls in the hands of those who took care of them, as if they were reconnecting with this universe which was familiar to them and which spared them from having to think about this stranger which was waiting for them and in the face of which they were completely unprepared.

     Jungkook seemed to want to intervene, feeling that Namjoon had gone too far despite his anger, and Jin gave him a hopeful look. Yet, Hoseok put a hand on the maknae's shoulder and shook his head to tell him to refrain because it was time for Namjoon or whoever to finally put Jin in his place. After doing everything wrong, he didn't deserve to have a say anymore in their future decisions. 

     It was Namjoon and the company they will follow, not Jin. Absolutely not Jin.

     Noting this, the eldest understood that he would have to defend himself without being too imperious but he had to get them to listen to reason:

     "That's not what I mean, of course you're the leader, but I know the North Koreans and you don't, so all I want to say is that you can trust-"

     "You have no say regarding this Seokjin, nore any of you" Sejin cut off, "it's PD-nim's decision. Before entering the DMZ, you are going to be received in North Korea and we must show ourselves to them at our best : you are the represents of your nation and you're idols, you are already the golden showcase of your country internationally, you will be too in this country. 

     The competition between North and South will be filmed and will be total; it will perhaps also go through a battle of beauty and artistic standards, and we will win this one: we must show the physical and cultural superiority of South Korea, we must dazzle the North Korean people with the beauty of our young men. It is also a will of President Park and her advisers, so you see how important this is and you must obey like the others."

    Sejin referred to competition as a war, but weren't these games precisely meant to avoid war between North and South? Jin thought. It didn't make sense to him, and he did not intend to abandon his convictions and was even more pleading:

     "Please Sejin hyung, don't force me to wear makeup. I have met the North Koreans before, I know what they will think: that the South Koreans do not look like men and they will laugh at us! If the others want to wear make-up, let them do it, but I don't want-"

    "Will you stop, Seokjin hyung?" Taehyung suddenly asked in an icy voice as he stared at him through the mirror he was already sitting in front of, "you're only asked to look good, so why are you causing trouble again? You just want to break the rules, right? Do you really think it's time to throw some tantrums?"

     Meeting the younger's penetrating gaze through the mirror, Jin was careful not to add anything. His members, even Jungkook who had spent the night comforting Jimin, hadn't spoken to him the night before after the draw and Namjoon's then Taehyung's words were the first they spoke to him. 

      They hit him like a brutal slap, reminding him that he was just a burden on his dongsaengs for the time being and that he shouldn't embarrass them or cause them any more trouble.

     The youngers had learned like him the night before that they could not see their parents before leaving for Pyongyang and their distress had been all the greater. 

      In addition, regarding their fans and the rest of the country, the agency had released a statement, but the members still had to shoot a video for them before leaving. A video of hope, they were told. Quite the opposite of what they felt in their current.

     And all because of me, Jin thought painfully. That's why he just had to protect them, not give his opinion when no one wanted to hear it. He had to make amends for his faults like Jimin's mother told him in the hope that they would one day accept to forgive him. 

     Giving up on protesting, he complied with Taehyung's words and sat on the empty chair, next to Yoongi who superbly ignored him, and entrusted his face to the care of the makeup artist who heaved a sigh of relief.

     "Don't worry Seokjin, I won't put too much makeup on you," She said with familiarity, because she had known him since his early days at the agency.

     "Thanks, Sun-Hee noona," He said with a sad smile.

     "Don't thank me, thank your genetic," she smiled in return. "you already have a great skin even if it's dry these day because you're not taking care about yourself."

     "It's because I'm too lazy," he joked naturally.

     "It's the reputation you've acquired yes, because you did not deny," she sighed before whispered so only he could hear her: "but you and I know it has nothing to do with laziness, right? You've been really depressed lately, you don't have to hide it in front of me."

     "No, it's just that now, I don't need to be handsome, noona because I'm no longer the visual of the group," Jin explained before nervously chuckled: "I can't help it if Tae has grew up so handsome while I'm gone. Now I can hide behind him and the others, so I don't need to care about my appearance, that's all."

    Hearing this, Sun-Hee was saddened. Jin's face had always been his pride and the place of visual was important to him. Being taken away from him must have hurt him a lot, even if he didn't admit it. 

     "Do you want me to tell you a secret Seokjin?" she said to cheer him up, still whispering.

     "Sure!"

     "Taehyung always said that you were more handsome than him when you weren't there and if he told you otherwise, it was out of pride that's all! I'm sure he didn't really want to take your place as a visual, he admires you a lot, believe me."

     A faint fleeting smile appeared on Jin's face and the makeup artist was delighted to see that the sad but once joyful-face light up again. Unfortunately, that joy was short-lived.

     "He admired me," Jin corrected, loosing his smile. "In the past. Now it's over. Please, noona, quickly finish my makeup or he'll say again that I'm doing it purpose to cause trouble."

     Resigned, the young woman abandons the idea of ​​making Jin smile because it seemed impossible at the time. It was therefore in silence that she finished her work while the hairdresser arrived to do hers.

     The staff bustled around all of them, not daring to break the dead silence that had settled in the room and for several minutes nothing was heard but the sound of scissors banging, boxes of make up that were opened and closed, clothes that were straightened and hurried steps.

     It was only when Jimin began to cry again, ruining his makeup and receiving shouts of exasperation from his makeup artist, that the atmosphere of the room changed: the tension's intensity had redoubled. If it was palpable before, it could now make them sick for real as Hoseok rushed to the nearest trash can to vomit up the contents of his stomach.

Jungkook rushed over to comfort Jimin. Out of the corner of his eye, Jin glanced at Jungkook and Jimin. The two had spent the night together as Jimin was not recovering from this terrible draw. 

     That was the vision that Jin had had who had initially come to comfort the maknae but had ended up turning back to his own room when he saw that scene. The eldest admired the courage of Jungkook who was only seventeen years old, and who, instead of waiting to be consoled, was the one who consoled others.

     When Jin was still with him on a daily basis, before his departure for military service, he was the one who soothed the anxieties of the youngest who, although strong and endowed with a steely mind, was still only a child. 

      He had to grow up so fast to become an accomplished idol and carry his group to success that he had necessarily ended up putting aside all the fears that a teenager would normally have had to experience. 

     If he had cried after the draw, he got up very quickly and now seemed ready to take up the challenge that had been imposed on him. He well deserved his nickname Golden Maknae. He may have been the youngest in terms of years lived, but otherwise he was far ahead of them.

     I'm so sorry JK, for everything, Jin thought with pain. I should have been the stronger of the two of us and save yourself from all that...