Namjoon looked at his brother's angry face and replied.

"I know that, okay? I freaking know!!"

Taehyung seemed alerted by Namjoon's insulting tone, who wasn't used to speaking like that.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked abruptly. He felt a lot of anger and uncertainty in Namjoon who nevertheless had always had the art of self-control usually.

"I hate you, that's the thing," Namjoon said.

"Do you think I don't know that?" Taehyung retorted glaring at him.

"No, you don't know how much I've hated you these past few weeks."

"I barely saw you those days, I don't see what could have made you hate me even more than before!" Taehyung replied.

"And yet! Since the beginning of the summer, I've avoided you as much as possible. I couldn't bear to see you."

Ever since he returned from the high school dorm for summer vacation, it was true that he had been very distant then even though he could have taken advantage of the fact that he was finally at home to spend more time with Seokjin. Instead, he had let Seokjin stay with Jimin and Taehyung most of the time without really trying to join them, pretending to have too much holiday homework.

"Why?" replied Taehyung who had not been unhappy about it and hadn't really questioned it.

"I don't know what I would have done to you if I had been near you when I found out what you were guilty of," Namjoon confessed.

"What are you talking about?" Taehyung replied, irritated, "and since when have you ever stopped yourself from attacking me when you wanted it? I don't understand anything!"

"Do you remember, one day I told you that if Jin had to die because of you, I would kill you too?" Namjoon said. 

"Yeah, I remember that and what I also know is that it didn't happen so why are you talking to me about this again? On the other hand,  tonight, it was you who almost killed him and you deserve that I kill you for that!" Taehyung replied, beside himself.

Namjoon sighed and walked over to his desk, opened the drawer and took out a partially crumpled piece of paper.

"You want to kill me, I get it well. I felt exactly like you when I read that."

Ever since he had read that letter from old Choi, he had avoided Taehyung as much as possible to avoid giving in to his violent instincts and to know what to do with that letter. He gave it to Taehyung who didn't seem to want to read it at all.

"What is that?"

"Read it and you will see that the hatred you have for me can also be turned against you. It's a letter from old Choi, do you remember him? Jin and him spent a lot of time together and I never really understood how this friendship between them started. I didn't imagine the reason was so dramatic. Read !" Namjoon ordered again, more imperious. 

Taehyung looked at the paper in his hands.

"Ever since I read it," Namjoon continued, "I haven't been able to think clearly and I keep lacking judgment in my decisions because I don't know what to do with it! I can't take it anymore, it's burning me from the inside so read it and tell me what I should do with it!"

Reluctantly, Taehyung immersed himself in reading the letter with his eyebrows furrowed. When he found out that Seokjin had attempted suicide and almost succeeded without ever telling him about it, he immediately raised his eyes to meet those of Namjoon who said to him:

"I guess you didn't know."

"N-no... I didn't... If only I did, I... I..."

"What? You wouldn't have hurt him so much? Don't underestimate your old jealousy, it was pretty tough back then. I think at the time it wouldn't have changed anything for you to know, you would have just continued to act the way you did because Jin wasn't just going to forget what you did to him and you, you weren't just going to accept that he turned his back on you."

"No," Taehyung whined. "If I had known... b-but how could I know when he always looked so strong and confident? H-how could he pretend like that?"

"You saw Jin remain strong in the face of your wickedness and that of others but before that, he must have felt terribly alone and in pain and did not want to continue living, neither with you, nor with me, nor with anyone. It was probably only thanks to Choi that he held on while you tried to watch him break. 

I always saw you hurt him and I hated you for it even though I knew it could only be to my advantage, even worse when I realized what he had been through. Yet, today, it is me who has done him a lot of harm and I believe that I am no better than you and that I have nothing to say to you, you must blame yourself enough."

He could see that his brother was heartbroken by this discovery. And indeed, this time, Taehyung didn't think to hold back his tears. He didn't need to get to the end of the letter, dropping it at his feet and rushing into bed where Seokjin was still deeply asleep and didn't seem to be waking up any time soon. Taehyung hugged him and he screamed to him while crying:

"I'm sorry, Jin, I'm so sorry!"

Namjoon watched as Taehyung cried in remorse as he held Seokjin close, dreading both letting him go and not being able to let him go. It was a sad sight, even for Namjoon. It was easier for him to pick on his brother when he was just an insufferable, temperamental, arrogant kid. When he was like this, he was too vulnerable for him to want to hurt him. 

He said in a soft voice that he did not usually intend for his brother:

"At first, I admit that I didn't know what to do with this letter, I didn't know if I should show it to father, if I should make you pay myself, if I should blame the school... it took me a while but now, I think know what to do with it."

"Y-you can get revenge, I know you've been wanting it for a long time," Taehyung sobbed through his tears. "I deserve to have someone destroy my future like I destroyed Jin's life and no one can do it better than you."

"I guess having dedicated my life to despise you gives you the right to think that this is what I want to do now," Namjoon admitted, picking up the letter and stuffing it into the pocket of his tuxedo jacket. "However, I think that tonight, it's not you that I want to shake a little. It's me."

Taehyung looked at him with a perplexed look.

"I will not use this letter against you, don't worry. But whatever happens tonight, since there were so many witnesses, the consequences will be serious for some people. Possibly for me too, I'm not used to playing a game without knowing the outcome of the game. I'm not really sure what's going to happen. It's hard to say but I'm not very confident this time," Namjoon concluded with a weird smile.

"W-what are you going to do?" Taehyung asked, sniffling and wiping his reddened wet eyes uselessly. 

He didn't know what his brother was planning to do, but seeing him so insecure didn't reassure him: it wasn't the usual Namjoon speaking. He had told him that lately he had been lacking judgment in his decision-making and that was precisely what he was doing: tossing his fate in an unprepared game.

"Downstairs," Namjoon said slowly, "all these scavengers must already be looking to destroy our family through Jin, and father must be out of ideas to explain what everyone just witnessed. And in his desire to defend his honor and ours, he probably will have no qualms about putting everything on Jin's back. 

I'm going to expose the truth to save Jin, so I'll have to expose myself. I will take Jungkook and Yoona with me in my fall, so they won't harm Jin anymore. Jin will be saved, but I will be the public disgrace of our family and I probably won't last long as a Kim heir. Fortunately for our family, there are two sons. When you lose one, there's always another. You will have to be up to it."

"What you're saying doesn't make any sense, you should be able to save Jin without having to be disinherited, dad won't do that, you've always been his favorite!" Taehyung exclaimed.

Namjoon laughed.

"Father's favorite? You've always been jealous and yet you don't know what that entails to be in my place." 

"And I don't want to be in your place anymore, so change your plan!"

"Why are you afraid? Don't be," Namjoon said smiling hearing a certain fear in Taehyung's voice. "You will learn to manage the responsibilities that fell to me. It's not your future that will be ruined, it's mine, so no need to be worried. That seems okay to me. I will get back up one way or another. And Jin can continue to move forward. Without me because he will soon hate me and I will encourage him to do so. At least he'll have you. It should make you happy."

"No, you can't do that Namjoon!" Taehyung said, between his tears and sniffles.

"Why? It's the best solution. And that way, you won't have beaten me at the game of altruism. We'll both be equal in the sacrifice we were willing to make for Jin, it's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Stop that, I said you can't!" Taehyung exclaimed. 

"Why?" Namjoon repeated.

"You can't say what you did tonight. You know, even if it cost me a lot to say that, I'm aware that it wasn't just old Choi who kept Jin going. Yes, it's also his dream. But it was you too, because he's always loved you and admired the most, and he was always able to move forward knowing that you were there for him. So, don't be the one who takes away his dream, because he won't recover if he finds out. Put it on my back and be the one who allows him to regain the possibility of accomplishing his dream!"

Namjoon considered what Taehyung had just said. Their sibling relationship had been conflicted for too long for it to seem normal to him. Ever since what Taehyung had done to Seokjin when they were seven, he had sworn to himself that he would make him pay. 

Since then, he had never had a normal relationship and had promised to hate each other. Unlike Hoseok who protected his little sister's back despite their differences, he had only attacked his little brother and attracted his distrust and hatred in return.

However, at the start, everything predestined them to be too close. They were only a year apart and when they were still very young, Namjoon had promised himself to love and protect his little brother, first from the world and then from his abusive and evil father. He never said anything when he was the only one working hard for the honor of the family and getting beaten by his father who took out all his frustration and anger on him. He had only wanted Taehyung to have a normal childhood and be happy for both of them. 

But then they met Seokjin, became close to him and Taehyung almost killed him, and that changed everything between them. He had given Seokjin all his brotherly love and protection and left nothing for Taehyung. 

Paradoxically, even though it was their affection towards Seokjin that had driven them apart, it was also what had kept them close. And each, even if they did not admit it, could feel that they had lacked the brotherly support that they should have received from each other. They had moved forward alone, like only child, seeming to live with an enemy to always be wary of more than with a brother.

So, hearing what his little brother had just said to him, Namjoon understood that Taehyung was in his own way showing a sense of brotherhood by trying to allow him not to lose Seokjin's affection while knowing that he himself had probably lost it this evening.

So, he decided that Taehyung could also finally receive help from his big brother. At least once, before the hostility between them resumed the day after. 

Seokjin didn't have to hate them both, it could just be one. And Namjoon knew that of the two of them, he was the one who would handle this situation better. Seokjin was his light but to Taehyung, he seemed to be his entire world. 

If he wanted to behave like a brother, he had to give up his light and let himself be consumed by his darkness to prevent his brother from losing the one who could guided him towards happiness. Without Seokjin, all he would be left with is anger and self-loathing. Nothing good would come of him...

"Namjoon?" Taehyung insisted, seeing that his brother didn't respond.

"You say you are ready for this sacrifice?" Namjoon asked. "Are you ready to lose Jin forever? He will go to Whimoon without you and will only see you as the one who wanted to destroy his dreams. For my part, he will always see me as his friend and I will support him. Are you ready to let me hide my wrongs and to give me this place in Jin's heart while you will have the place of the one he hates? Is that what you really want?" Namjoon insisted.

"Y- Yes, that's what I want," Taehyung nodded, although upset.

"Will you be able to sleep if Jin is no longer with you?" Namjoon asked wondering if his brother was ready for this for Seokjin's happiness.

"I will learn," Taehyung replied to show that he was determined but he nevertheless pressed himself even closer to Seokjin like it was the last time he could do that.

Convinced of making the right decision, Namjoon smiled and said:

"Then stay here with Jin, and let me handle the situation. I'll be back."

He left the room, making sure to lock the door so that no one would catch Taehyung and Seokjin in bed together and the situation wouldn't get worse. 

In the bedroom, Taehyung whispered while crying and caressing Seokjin's face:

"It's going to be okay Jin, I'm going to protect you from me."