That's right, Topher died in the train wreck on the day of our wedding.

Nothing could ever prepare anyone for that feeling of loss. I remember losing my father, and I had to go through it all again after losing my fiance.

My heart felt like a thousand men kept stomping it, and I could not stop crying. But no matter what pain I'm feeling, I know it was a lot worse for the people around us.

I lost the love of my life, Ada lost her favorite person, our friends lost a friend, and of course, Ariel and Thomas lost their only son. I remember how his parents were called to identify his body. That must've hurt far worse than being in the train wreck to see your child's lifeless body in the morgue, and what was more painful was that they confirmed that it was his body.

Seeing his parents having to bury their child was hard.

Before the day of the funeral, I remember the feeling of how the world felt very gloomy to live in and asked the heavens why they had to take Topher away from us. What did we do to deserve this suffering?

I could not accept that he was gone. I could never accept that he was gone in my life. All I felt was how my heart was aching so hard.

There were pictures of us everywhere, like on the walls, on the side table, on my phone, laptop, and camera. We captured every special moment together, and just looking at them made me cry even more. I felt that there was no meaning in my life without Topher here with me.

My Mom stayed with me in the house for a few days to take care of me and also called my brother about what happened, but they could not come because Ada was still having a fever. I'm kinda glad that she was too young enough to understand the loss of a loved one, especially when it was Topher.

The time of the funeral came, and we all wore white. I remember thinking that it was funny how I was wearing white on our wedding day, and there I was wearing white to say goodbye to him.

Before the service began, I glanced at the open white casket, and I wished for him to open his eyes and that everything was back to normal. Ariel stood beside me with a sad smile on her face.

"His face seems to be illuminating," she remarked to me even though I had no idea what that meant until she told me a second later. "He must be at peace now."

I believed that. After that, we both mourned together. "I miss him so much," I cried.

Ariel wrapped me in her arms as tears poured out of her eyes. "Me too, Honey. Me too."

Everyone was there to bid their final farewell to Topher. Emmy, our other friends, my colleagues at work, and Topher's professors.

Even my grandparents came since they knew him longer than I did. They could not believe he died because, to them, it was like they lost a grandson. I remember how inconsolable my grandmother was.

Looking back, I was glad that my mother was there. She was my rock for both of us, though she was also just as sad and tearing up during the service.

Topher was buried in the private cemetery outside of town. To be honest, I didn't want to be there, but at the same time, I wanted to. I needed to be with him until the end.

I was not ready to let go of him when I watched his casket elevate down six feet under the ground.

One by one, we had to toss a white rose in there before he was buried. What is it about death? Why do we have to go through this suffering to see someone gone?

However, the worst part began after the funeral. Seeing him for the last time was one thing, but moving on from his death was another.

Whenever the house felt empty, it was because he was traveling somewhere. Now, it's just empty. I know that was how Ariel felt in her little cottage.

My grandparents had to leave right away after the service, and my Mom needed to go back to work at the university, yet she was worried about me being in the town alone when my misery was still fresh in my heart and in my mind.

"Honey, why don't you stay with me for a while?" she suggested.

"No," I said while I sniffled. "I'm fine here, Mom."

Mom was not convinced. "Are you sure, Honey? I'm worried that it's lonely here for you."

As sad as I was, I didn't want to leave. "I'm gonna be fine, Mom," I assured her. "Besides, I have a business to run. I can't just go."

Even though reluctant, Mom knew she could not do anything else about it and stopped bugging me about staying with her. "Alright, I'm just making sure. But I want you to know that you can stay with me in the house anytime you want."

"Thanks, Mom." The day after tomorrow, she returned to the city.

The day after that, I went over to her home with Thomas still in town. He had to be her rock for his wife. Ariel slept in her son's old bedroom since the same night after we heard the news that he had died. She desperately yearned to feel his presence.

When I saw her, it seemed like she aged because her hair was a mess, and she wore an off-white nightgown. Ariel usually wears light floral midi-dresses and her custard-colored apron with stains on them from all the jams she made. Speaking of which, she could not make her famous jams. It was as if she lost the heart to do them.

Also. She had to stop making jams. Why?

"I will be moving with my husband to Canada." Ariel broke the news to me as she sat on her son's bedside and held a sweater he accidentally left when he came over to get me my engagement ring. Thomas said that she kept sleeping with it. I would've done the same.

"Really?" I choked.

Ariel nodded. "I have a sister there. To be honest, I want to stay, but I think it's for the best that I leave."

I didn't want her to leave, too. "I understand," I replied

"You know, Christopher was only nine when we moved here. I remember he hated it here because he wanted to keep traveling with his father until he..." she sniffled as she tried to hold back tears. "Had a great time on his first day of school. I remember seeing that light in his eyes when he told me that he made friends and they asked him to play after school."

I just listened and watched her overwhelmed with nostalgia. "He must be very happy."

"I knew he would." She let out a light giggle. "It was just a matter of time. Once every month, we had pork belly for dinner while watching his favorite cartoon in the dining room."

While she kept talking, I looked around his bedroom. I had been there before, even before graduating college. It was small, but I could feel the good memories that filled in there. It smelled like him, too. Topher collected old cameras on the top shelf that his father got for him, and on the bottom, he also loved reading geography books. After that, my eyes caught on his Pentax camera that he did not use anymore after he finally got his canon.

I always wondered what happened to that, since it was the camera he used when we first met. Seeing this stuff made me think that Topher and I are alike because he was just as sentimental as I am. I did not even realize that I walked to the shelf and took a closer look at the camera.

"Christopher always wanted a camera," Ariel added once she saw me holding it.  "He would stop in the middle of eating his food, grab his camera, and go straight outside."

"I didn't know that," I replied since Topher never told me about it.

"Perhaps he was embarrassed that he could disrupt such a wonderful meal," his mother chuckled, while he took a framed photo of him when he was younger and stroked his face with her hand. "I get mad at him every time he has to do that."

I just smiled at that. "So what's going to happen to this house?"

That was when Ariel let out a heavy sigh and became sad again. "We're going to sell it," Thomas interrupted, knowing that his wife was too emotional to say it.

I could feel my world crashed right in front of me. First, they had to move, then stop her jam business, and what was worse was that they had no plans on returning. That was hard, very hard to take it all in. However, I get it. It was too much to bear.

It took about two weeks or so to pack everything for their move, and for me not to go to work. I decided to spend my time with Topher's parents by helping them with three other guys who worked with Ariel to deliver her jams, even though it was hard that I wouldn't see them again after that. We talked about Topher while we were wrapping the plates and other stuff.

The last thing we packed away was from Topher's room. Gosh, if we could wear a blindfold while putting his belongings inside the boxes, we would. Thomas insisted that his wife take a break, so the rest of us would do all the work instead. Although, Ariel assured him that she was fine and that she could handle it.

Surprisingly, she could, though I could see it in her face that it was not whole-hearted.

Me and a guy were putting his books and his cameras away, but then there was the Pentax camera. I held it in my hand, and the memory came back to me once more. "You can keep that," Ariel said to me since she noticed that I had been staring at it for a long time. "If you want."

My eyes began to pour, and hugged her. "Thank you, Ariel."

When I got home after all that work, I sat on the couch and looked at Topher's camera. When I pressed the button, I didn't even think that it could turn on after all these years and saw one image after another. I recognized some of them because he changed the camera once he began working, so most of the photos in the Pentax were taken in Barcon.

The more I pressed the next button, the more I recognized the other pictures. I got to the time when I first got here in town. He took a photo of me taking a picture of the mountain. He never admitted it, but I knew that happened.

Several more images later, I came across the day we met. No, it was not the day when we both walked the dogs and introduced me with a fake name. It was the time when we accidentally took a photo of each other. I was holding my camera and I accidentally aimed it at him. I was even wearing that white loose blouse with that boring hairstyle.

I was only fifteen here. It just saddens me that little did this fifteen-year-old girl know that she was meeting the love of her life, though she had to lose him ten years later on what supposedly was her wedding day. I instantly turned off the camera.

It just hurts too much. I shouldn't have turned it on.

Weeks later, everything was settled for Topher's parents to leave Barcon. The boxes were in the truck, ready to be transported, and there was a for sale sign in front of their cottage. Damn! it just hit hard for all of us to see that.

Anyway, I accompanied them to the train station by taking a cab. By the way, the Vespa was still there in the parking since Topher used it when I woke up late to drive him. That's how safe this town is.

When we got in, the staff would say their condolences to us and ask us how we were doing. It was touching that they genuinely cared.

Once the train arrived, I hugged his parents farewell. "Call me when you get there. I'm going to miss you," I told them.

"We'll miss you too, Sweetie," Ariel said. We pulled away from each other, and then she held my face and looked me in the eyes. "Take care of yourself, and please visit us."

"I will." Afterward, I bitterly watched them get onto the train and waved goodbye at them.

When the train left, I walked out and went straight to the parking lot to get the scooter back. The key was still there. I patted the dust off from the seat, then got on it, and drove away.