Am I fool to think what I'm doing is right or is this how its supposed to be..thinking of life thats so out of reach to be even true for me

Well, come to think of it my life wasnt so very charming and filled with happiness before either, my parents lost their lives in a terrible car accident, I had just completed my schooling in a boarding institute and was about to leave for home when this dreadful news reached my ears..

I never knew things would change so drastically, I just stood there holding my luggage while others just left with their families, I felt anchorless, as if I was no longer anyone's child. I may have looked the same but something inside me shifted - broke me altogether,

My parents were the reason I was here, what held me up. They had been the one stable point during my whole life and in a swift turn of events they had left me. Of course, my brain knew that my parents wouldn't live for ever but My heart, however,hadnt quite caught up..

But sooner or later I had to move on and live life with only their precious memories,the irredeemable time that i enjoyed with them I still cherish to this day, My paternal Aunt and Uncle took care of me after the horrible incident but they werent my parents i knew even if they so caringly tried to be,

They didnt have a child of their own so God dropped me into their arms, Although my parents had many relatives but i found these were the most concerned about me, i silently learnt how to live and how to adjust but never quite learnt how to forget,

Now I have been lawfully married to one of their dear friend's Son Gaurav and settled in peaceful Greenarea of Northcote Avenue southall London, I have eventually grown out of all the harsh times but im still uncertain about the future, my future with Gaurav that still appears as a mystery

"Is there something you wish to tell me Naina?" I flinched and saw Gaurav leaning against the Kitchen door holding his phone

"Gaurav, when did you.." I looked at him in surprise

"Arrive?..well, 20mins back..I Guess you didnt notice..which isnt something new lately." he was right I hadnt even heard the sound of his car forget his footsteps

"I thought you would get late with work again." I stammered because I was at fault again

"How late would I be Naina? It's already 10 past 8..leave this what did you do with my phone?..look! the screen's all scratched." he brought it up for me to see and it wasnt so prominent unless observed closely

"But it still works doesnt it?" I spoke as I cleaned the utensils in which I had prepared the dinner

"That's not the point Naina..its bloody expensive and now I'll have to put it for repair..I dont even know if it would be repaired or I'll have to get a new one..do you even know how much that would cost?" he panicked around holding his head in frustation

"If it means that much to you then you shouldnt have left it at home." I reasoned but he just stared angrily.

"So you mean to say this all..everything that I have built so far..isn't of value to you?..what does that mean Naina?..why are you being so nonsensical these days?" maybe its because that's how you perceive everything that I say to you, I thought.

"I'm sorry..it was by mistake..it wont happ.." I sulked my shoulders as I spoke meekly

"No, don't..just stay away from my things alright?..I have told you before and I'm saying it again..just please!" he spoke angrily while i just nodded in response, He then stomped out of the kitchen and sat over the chair in the dining hall,

I just watched him flip the phone in his hand because words werent enough to mend anything that had happened or was happening..true it was.. we were falling apart..somehow small issues were becoming prominent in our life and gaining strength in distancing us

"Naina..would I be served dinner today or do you just wish to stand there and watch me grieve?" his blunt statement shook me up as I immediately rushed to the kitchen to serve him dinner,

Silence prevailed as we had the dinner quietly sitting across each other,i glanced at him while he just continued to savor the food, it brought a smile upon my face atleast he enjoyed what i made, i was happy in little things, little world of happiness of my own

"Mr. Laviosa called me into his cabin today.." Gaurav mumbled as he ate and my eyes immediately widened with fear as my heartbeat increased

"He said he had called on my number but nobody answered so he had to send someone personally to call me." no way he lied to Gaurav but wasnt I doing the same,

"I was going to pick it up but it fell from.." I spoke incoherently.

"I know..I could imagine from there what could have happened..your cleaning duties always tamper with my things so its nothing new but anyways he had called me for a totally different reason." I held my breath and just listened attentatively

"He was concerned about you, your health..he said he felt bad he couldnt accomodate us like he had wanted to..he even proposed that I should go home early so that I can take care of you." I was speechless as I heard his praises from Gaurav

"You see how nice of a person he is but thanks to your disturbed behaviour I had to lie to him the other night." He muttered and got up from his chair as he walked towards the sink,

I just wanted to express myself and tell him the truth but he would just think that i'm making it all up,that snake eyed devil had built an image of a Saint in Gaurav's eyes which even if i tried to uncover would only backfire and i couldnt risk it not at a time when our relationship was hanging by a sparse thread

"I still think you shouldnt trust a person so easily." I spoke as i handed him the towel to wipe off his hands

"Well, he doesnt give me a reason not to..Naina...I'm the head scientist and earn more than what my friends do..that's only because he knows my value, he knows how important of an asset I'm to this company." Guess I had nothing further to say to his resolute trust in the pervert.

"Just be careful..that's all I'm saying." I smiled playfully and rested my hands over his shoulder.

"You know I was thinking.." I blushed slightly while Gaurav's eyes instantly narrowed.

"Thinking of what.. Naina?" he questioned with a frown.

"I feel we should start thinking about our own little family..even Kiran called few days ago and talked about the same.." before I could finish he abruptly dropped my hands.

"Seriously Naina? do you seriously want to talk about this right now?" I stepped back a little and just stared at his agitated face.

"Know what I think? I think you need to stop listening to that old wrinkled hag you call as your friend..what was her name again.. Kiran right?..being my wife you should know what I want..I want peace! Naina and not some bloody talk about how to ruin my nights that I so scarcely ever get..do you really think I have time for this..my life's already hell lot of complicated and now you want me to cope with this too?..GOD! Naina!" I had just made things worse but it was too late to take those words back

"Gaurav..listen to me..I didnt mean that..you took it the wrong way." I didnt know where I was at fault but I had to resolve this

"I absolutely know what it meant..I thought you would be more sensible than this Naina..I just..I'm tired alright?..I need some rest..GOODNIGHT." He walked upstairs lethargically without a second glance and I was again left in doubtful silence blaming myself for everything, Gaurav's priorities had changed with time, now he spent more time at work than home..I had got used to the nights even if they didnt include him..we slept like strangers in our own bed..

one seeking only love and the other seeking power that was beyond anyone's mastery, The next morning I woke up alone and I knew I would be after how the small talk had turned ugly between us..Gaurav had left for work early and I was again on my own, I sighed and got up from the bed..then wrapped my hairs in a bun and picked up the scattered things on the floor which Gaurav must have meddled with in a hurry,

Since one year everyday chores of my life had become of keeping the house clean..watering the few plants I placed in the balcony of our bedroom then reading the newspaper especially the column with comic strips..solving sudoku and other puzzles sometimes..then watching television or practicing my kathak as I had learnt it from my mother who loved dancing and teaching the classical dance to me but this time i wanted to share and tell someone how i felt and the only person i knew who would understand was indeed Kiran

"Naina..? what happened?..I mean Gosh!..Come inside."

It was almost Afternoon when I decided to go to Kiran's place, Kiran's house felt like home more than my own..cozy infact.

"Girls! upstairs NOW!" Kiran yelled at her daughters dancing to bollywood songs being played loudly on the tv

"Mum, pleaseee..!" both whined in unison and continued with their energetic yet cute dance

"Dont make me come there..you both! Quick!" Kiran took a step forward but then I stopped her.

"It's okey..let them enjoy..we'll go and talk in the kitchen." both the girls giggled and stuck out their tongues but before Kiran could see them I turned her and led her towards the kitchen.

"Thank you Naina aunty." both sang out between giggles and laughter.

"No problem chammak challos! Carry on!" I laughed too at how mischievious both absolutely were..no doubt Kiran couldnt handle them.

"You saw?..you saw how they both acted!..pura din kabhi dil to pagal hai nai tan Madonna de gaane(songs of Madonna)..what should I do of them?..I'll go crazy in this house..even Rohit isnt here to keep them in check." I smiled along as I helped her out in keeping the eatables back in the cupboard

"Still it's better than living in a house that feels empty all the time." she suddenly stopped and looked at me with concern.

"Hey.. did something happen?..Did Gaurav say something?" she questioned as she could understand from the tone of my voice i wasnt okey and i really wasnt

"We talked and..it just got out of hand..I dont know where I went wrong Kiran..I just.. I dont know.." It felt like I would just cry if asked more of how i was feeling inside

"Oh honey..its alright, all men have stupid and illogical temper..once that unleashes.. all hell breaks upon us poor women..you didnt do anything wrong so dont blame yourself..okey?" she smiled and rubbed my back affectionately

"What if I'm to blame Kiran..? its true..isnt it? Gaurav's job isnt easy and I keep pressurizing him with my own selfish demands..it isnt fair to him." I spoke sincerely.

"Listen up Girlie..your husband needs to come down to earth coz even you know these days he's flying too high...because of his whatever dumb kind of job.." Kiran was right..this job and then the promotion had made him extremely ignorant of other's feelings.

"I know..I know what you thinking..he has earned all of it but that doesnt give him the right to mistreat you, Naina, his lawful wife." Kiran spoke with anger

"He didnt mistreat me Kiran..he just said he wants Peace." I stated blankly

"And? What else he said? Leave me alone and I'll have Peace?" Kiran inquired.

"No.." I mumbled softly.

"What then? Tell me?" Oh well she asked for it.

"He said I need to stop listening to you." I tried to look away from her scary big eyes which were now fixed on me.

"He called me something didnt he? Out with it, Honey?" Great! How can she know im still hiding the entire thing.

"He-He.. Um.. called you oldwrinkledhag." I blurted out quickly and then shifted back a little because Kiran in anger mode looked like a creepy shabana azmi.

"How dare he!..just because im older and wiser..god! How can you stand that-that oily-greasy Gorilla!" I bursted out laughing.

"Has he seen himself in the mirror?..lucky him the marriage was arranged or else he wouldn't have ever got a pretty girl like you." I smiled and hugged her caringly

"You know, he didnt mean all of that, Kiran..he was just tired from work probably, that's all." I defended and she just sighed heavily.

"You and your duty driven nature..thats what makes you weak always and you know that." I nodded with a big grin.

"Damn! forget this..lets go out for shopping..I need a break from these devils and you need a break from husband drama.. Come on."

Before I could say yes or no I was seated beside Kiran in her car while her kids were innocently waving at us

"You both better not mess up the place alright? I'll be back soon and complete your homework or else no tv tonight, got it?" They giggled inappropriately but then nodded.

"Bye Naina aunty." They shouted in unison and I blew a kiss at them.

"You too arent less than a kid..no doubt they like you more than me..put on the seatbelt Naina Aunty jee.." I chuckled and then fastened the seatbelt over me as we headed towards Westfield shopping centre,

Kiran could drive well unlike me..I had license and knew how to but the moment I drove not just mine but everbody's life would be in danger including pedestrians so Gaurav and I mutually decided I'd rather not drive

"Wow! it seems crowded today doesnt it?" I nodded as I could see the line of cars before us being parked in the underground area, Crowds of people entering the super colossal mall

"Is there some kind of event happening here?" I spoke confusedly and kiran sighed

"Everytime there's some kind of event happening in this dumb mall as if its not a shopping center but a damn concert venue." she parked the car and we headed towards the 1st floor through the elevator

"So where are we headed first?" I asked.
"Lets just go around the place and explore, see if there's anything of our liking in the stores..what say?" I agreed with a nod..we then headed towards various stores..checking them out one by one..Kiran liked few accessories and so did I..

It wasnt such a big deal whoever paid because we had a great bonding like sisters..infact Kiran always liked to suggest me clothes that I would love to wear and sometimes bought for me incase I wasnt there with her

"Naina, check this out.." Kiran called out to me..she was staring at a mannequin from outside the store and I was as usual eating a doughnut

"What a dress! sexy as hell isnt it?..Gaurav should definitely buy something like this for you." I looked at the black lace dress and was instantly captivated by its beautiful design

"Looks like there's a lot of rush inside maybe its newly opened..lets check it out." Kiran mumbled as we stood there admiring the dress

"Let's rather not, Kiran.. Dress like that would cost a fortune and is a waste of our time.. Come on."

I dragged her away forcibly because once Kiran is inside she would only come out after spending handful of money and then I would be blamed by Rohit for not stopping her

"Naina....?"

A voice I was totally aware of by now called out to me. My feet froze on the spot, My hand slowly left Kiran's and my mind dreadfully hoped it cant be him

"Naina..do you know him?" Kiran whispered. I gulped and slowly turned around. I couldnt forget a face like his infact nobody could once seen.. his green eyes danced with amusement as he approached us..my breath hitched in my throat as I stared at him dressed in Grey coloured formal suit

"Didnt expect to see you here.." he smiled profusely like he had been hit by overwhelming happiness..neither did I- I thought as I avoided eye contact with him.

"I assume you are here with your sister.." Kiran suddenly giggled like an amateur teen and brought her hand forward.

"Well, your assumption isnt entirely wrong..we are like sisters but actually I'm just a good friend of Naina's - Kiran and you must be?" My mind wanted to shout out - what is happening here as I watched them shake hands like a fresh start to long lasting friendship

"Carlo laviosa..owner of laviosa estate and company. Pleasure to meet you." he gave his usual cunning smile.

"My God!..Gaurav's Boss...Gaurav work's in your company, doesnt he?" He nodded proudly while I still continued to glare at him

"Shouldnt you be at work? because my husband still is.." Kiran suddenly looked at me with shock and the smile on his face vanished..I didnt care if it offended him because even I had been through his dirty games..there was awkward silence between us as Kiran watched us exchange skeptical gaze at one another until a cynical smile crept upon his lips

"Well, now that you ask..I was in a meeting before regarding emerging commercialization but then I got a call from my close friend who invited me for the opening of his new clothing line so here I'm." he gave his perfect casual smile like my cold words had no effect on him.

"And well, Naina.. its not in my nature to dissapoint people especially the ones I care about."

Arent you clever in presenting yourself praiseworthy I thought as I frowned at him.

"Ohmygosh! the owner of this clothing line is your friend?" Wish I could filter what was coming out of Kiran's mouth at the moment.

"Yes..we studied together in valbonne..would you like to meet him..? I could.."

"No, that's fine..we shouldnt disturb him..he must be quite busy attending his own list of guests." I interrupted quickly

"Well, that ofcourse he is but fortunately for you two beautiful ladies his friend  isnt.. so would you two, like to join me for a cup of coffee?" He asked with a pleasant smile

"No!" "Yes!" Came the reply simultaneously from both of us while he just grinned in amusement.

I immediately looked at Kiran as she gripped my arm because she knew my actions speak loudly when words dont

"Naina wants to say that she would have a cup of tea rather than coffee.. would that be fine?" Kiran we are no longer friends anymore..you just broke the treaty of our Friendship

"Absolutely.." his face lit up with glorious victory in getting his way into my life yet again..he then proceeded ahead as we followed behind

"What is wrong with you?!" I screeched in low voice at Kiran as we walked behind him.  

"I like him..He's cute..cant believe he has the hots for you." she murmured while her eyes remained on him or his butt I wasnt sure

"He doesnt even look that old Naina." she chuckled.

oh god..just bury me..bury me right here..

"Where are we headed by the way?" Kiran suddenly asked him

"Starbucks ofcourse..is there a different preferable place you both would like to go?" He asked as he looked at us with a smirk..

Gosh! Kiran literally blushed as she shook her head in denial and I just stared at her dumbfoundedly..yes home..that would have been my answer if it werent for her..

"Just marry him Naina or let me." I was totally taken aback with her words...either Kiran wasnt here with me or i was just imagining all of this..I nudged her softly with my elbow

"Shut up..you're married..get a hold of yourself." before she could answer me back we were already inside starbucks..he made his way towards a couch cabin seat and gestured us to sit first..I shifted to the corner and Kiran sat beside me..he then made himself comfortable on the seat opposite ours

"Mostly I know what I'd order but right now...I'd rather not take the risk so what would it be?"

Why cant he act normal for one day I thought as I picked up the menu to hide my face because I could no longer stand his pretentious little perfect smile

"I would have whatever you're having.." God! Kiran stop acting like a petite Daisy in love I rolled my eyes as I heard him chuckle

"What about you, Naina?" His hand suddenly lowered the menu in my hands and his Green eyes met mine..

"What would be your choice?"

Somehow it felt like he wished a totally different answer from me..why cant I look away from him..

why does his words always leave me thinking of something I'd never thought before

"Naina..speak up!" Kiran poked me and I instantly lowered my gaze

"Te-Tea whichever there is would be fine.." he smiled modestly and got up from his seat to order

"Admit it, honey. You're so attracted to him.." Kiran blurted out with a grin as soon as he left from our side

"No, I'm not!..but you sure have lost it..he isnt how he appears to be..he's insane Kiran!" Kiran's expression changed into a frown and she glanced at him..he was busy ordering the drinks as I too watched him..maybe not insane but he isnt a good person thats what i meant 

"Naina, I think..he is a fine Gentleman and any girl would be lucky to have him..and for your kind of information insanity sometimes makes a guy look equally hotter." I slapped my head in defeat because my friend Kiran had absolutely lost her mind.

"Well, our drinks would be served in a few minutes so what did I miss?" He came back and sat across us.

"Nothing just that Naina thinks you're insane.."

What the..my mouth dropped open as I looked at her and she avoided my anger filled gaze but then I heard his short laugh.

"I thought you would find a better adjective to describe a person like me, Naina." he smirked and then brought himself forward leaning towards me.

"Tell me something Naina..are you afraid of insane people?" His eyes remained fixed on me as he impatiently waited for my answer.

"I'm not afraid of anyone.." not even you, I thought as I folded my arms and sat upright.. he then moved back to his previous posture and just watched me..

"So Kiran..right?" Suddenly I noticed his attention had diverted to Kiran.

"I hope you're not married too..because that would be a huge disappointment for me.." I looked at him with shock as his smirk widened...what is he upto.. I frowned

"Well, I'm Mr laviosa and I'm also blessed with two beautiful daughters." he didnt look disappointed infact he smiled more widely hearing the truth

"I'm sure they would be afterall their mother isnt less than a raving beauty herself." Kiran's face instantly turned bright red and she looked unusually cheerful as she smiled back..

Suddenly a man with the tray served us with the drinks and mine had lots of froth something I hadnt seen in a tea

"My preference can be a bit too strong so I hope.." I looked up and saw him stare at Kiran alluringly

"No no..it's fine..it does taste odd but I havent tried something like this in a very long time..so thank you."  Gosh! Why cant she see how perverted he is..

Suddenly her phone rang as she skimmed through her bag for it

"Excuse me..it's my husband " she got up abruptly and went out God bless! Rohit I thought as I took a sigh of relief.

"She isnt any different than you when it comes to her husband." he mentioned as his attention was back on me

"She's not and that's why you need to stop flirting with her.." I spoke up frankly

"Why Naina..jealous are we?" He smiled cleverly as he tasted his coffee..wish I could just pour the hot tea over his head so that he would stop acting so cool

"I'm more concerned than being jealous, Mr Laviosa." I then looked away from his overconfident face towards Kiran who was now standing near the railing talking anxiously with Rohit..

I then took a sip of my tea..and the froth over it unexpectedly settled above my lips, seeing it my hand immediately reached out to wipe it but instead his hand stopped mine..

Memories of his cold touch instantly rushed through me as my heart started pumping frantically..he took out his handkerchief and brought it upto my lips..power of his touch made my stomach churn inexpressibly, his fingers tenderly wiped away the froth in a swift motion while his eyes never left mine

"I have eyes only for you, Naina.." he whispered gently

"I would watch you all day if I could." I gulped as my whole body tensed against my will

"You're mine Naina, Find it scary, find it insane, I dont really care but you belong to me." His grip suddenly tightened over my wrist as he spoke the words..I breathed heavily as I struggled to remove his hand but it was useless as I didnt have the strength to.

"I look forward to the day Naina..the day you would want me too." his lips tilted upward into a vicious smile as he loosened his grip.. I immediately took away my hand and tried to rub off the pain

"Shameless and twisted person like you would never have me." hearing my rage filled words suddenly he laughed...I couldnt believe so easily he had changed back to his old self like nothing had happened just now.

"Hate me all you want Naina..know why?"

His eyes flickered darkly with unknown emotions held captive

"Because your hatred incites my passion.." His emerald eyes were dark, almost black as they bored into mine

"There's a Part of me Naina that wishes to set you on fire and hold you while the flame consumes us both, a part that wishes to eat your heart so that only I possess it entirely.” I trembled inside when I heard his formidable tone; my lips quivered with fear and My legs gave away beneath me

"Hey I'm back..but we'd have to rush Naina coz I just called home and my daughters.." Kiran's words seemed invisible to my ears at the moment because his adamant words still played within my head..I continued to watch him while he listened to her..

What did he see in me..why me..I still couldnt understand..while he boldly in the open expressed himself

"must have tripped the circuit..Naina!"

Kiran's voice shook me up and I immediately looked back at her.

"Come on..we have to go..I'm sorry, Mr laviosa for leaving in such a hurry." he suddenly stood up and watching him so did I.

"No problem..I hope you both reach home safely.." his warm usual smile was back on his face as he shook her hand.

"Take care Naina.." he sounded genuine but I had no smile or words to render back after seeing his violent streak..I couldnt act like there wasn't anything happening between us and that he didnt secretly desired me..somehow his deep emotions were making me doubt my own relationship..the more I tried to avoid him the more fate brought him closer to me why..what's the meaning of this..

I looked at my wrist as I sat beside Kiran now who was driving the car back to our place

"What happened between you two?" Kiran suddenly asked as she glanced at me.

"Nothing.." I mumbled as I tried to distract my thoughts by looking out the window

"It didnt look 'nothing' to me and if it were nothing then you wouldnt be so quiet...tell me, Naina, what happened?"

My life had suddenly turned upside down with his presence..his voice..his talks had violated my every thought

"I can't decide Kiran..not anymore." I felt tired and disgusted with how I was being treated by two different men

"Don't then..things will eventually fall into place and you would know what's right then." she smiled assuredly

"I'm scared..I thought I wouldnt be but I'm scared..." I mumbled with fear visible in my tone.

"Scared of him or scared of loosing yourself to his charming impressive side?" I blankly stared at her because she was right..I was more scared of falling for him than his insanity..I was quiet for the rest of the ride home because I had nothing to prove her wrong with...

The night had embraced the sky completely as we reached Kiran's house..she parked the car in the garage and locked it

"I'll head home..you go check up on the girls." I spoke up mildly.

"You sure? You know you can talk to me anytime and about anything right?" I smiled sincerely with a nod.

"I know.."

"Then you also know whatever I spoke wasnt anyway to upset you..and I was noway serious maybe about his looks but nothing more."

My sweet dear friend Kiran..I loved her too much to get angry over such a silly reason, even if she did crazy things to embarrass me I still knew when the time comes she would always be there for me

"Yeah dont worry..I'll talk to you soon..stay safe. Goodnight." I hugged her tightly and left for home..expecting Gaurav home early was a myth now I thought as I walked slowly towards the house..I didnt know how far I could deal with his Boss's intentions..and how long I could keep it from him..it felt like my loyalty was being tested by god and the devil had disguised himself as Carlo Laviosa to mislead me..

If that's how it was I thought then I would stand tall as long as I could and rest my weakened hope on the untold future..maybe somewhere something good is on its way for me..I just have to keep moving forward without regrets.

@@@@@@Author's Note@@@@@@@

Dont hate me my beautiful awesome readers for the love of my work :p but i'm really sorry for such a late update..i have been really busy with PG admission and other homely work :( but dont you worry peeps!..i'll be finishing my work no matter what! so keep voting and commenting your amazing interesting thoughts abt this chapter..love you all crazily!

and oh! well for your incredible Patience another sneak peek of the devil i.e Carlo Laviosa on the right! Enjoy!  :)