Gifs to portray Peter's emotions internally^

yes I am aware there is ANOTHER time skip hehe

this song is CRUCIAL to this chapter, so if you've never heard it, please listen while you read or you won't grasp the full meaning. thx luv ya'

******

(PETER POV)

When she loved me.

One month later

"Hot chocolate?" I asked, holding up a cup of the steaming drink.

The girl sat motionless on her couch, staring at the wall with dormant eyes. It was almost as if she didn't hear me, as if I wasn't there at all. I set down the drink on the table, and sat down next to her.

"I found some cookie dough in the fridge," I said, "I'll make some cookies to warm you up."

It was snowing outside, sheets of white decking the balconies and rooftops. She hadn't left the tower since the funeral, and sometimes I wondered if she remembered how it felt to be outside.

"Is that a yes for cookies?" I asked, nudging her arm slightly, "yay! I'll go make some."

I hopped up from the cushioned chair, and walked silently to the kitchen. Happy had gone home for the holidays, and I dismissed the staff to do so as well. It was just the two of us in this big, empty tower.

I don't remember the last time we had a real conversation, she usually mutters a few words and then goes back to her paralyzed state. I knew it was hard on her, living in a place where you were constantly reminded of him. Of Tony. I just wished she'd let me help her.

Plugging in my headphones, I whipped out my phone and started playing Disney's Greatest Hits playlist. We used to watch Disney movies, Y/N and I, and I remember her snuggling up next to me and commenting on every single scene.

"The way he looks at her," she'd say, "you can tell he really loves her."

"How do you know?" I'd ask.

"Because you always look at me that way."

I still do. I haven't let a single memory with her go to waste, because that's how much she meant to me. But ever since -

Ever since he died.

She's been distant. I can hardly tell if she remembers anything about us. Or if she remembers me. When She Loved Me from Toy Story 2 started to play, and it caught me off balance. I hadn't heard this song in ages, and yet I've played this playlist many times before.

I scrolled through the list, and paused when I realized it wasn't even on it.

So someone had to have started playing it; it wasn't me. The only person with access to my spotify account was Y/N, but it didn't make sense why she'd be playing it for me.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

Why did she choose this song?

And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when was happy so was I

When she loved me

I kept listening, as I popped open the oven door and took out the cookies.

Through the summer and the fall

We had each other that was all

Just she and I together

Like it was meant to be

I didn't get it. Of course we were meant to be. But why couldn't she just say it to my face?

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

And I knew that she loved me

I piled the desserts on a plate, and made my way to the living room. My eyes glanced around the room, but it only took me a couple seconds to realize she wasn't there. She must have gone back to her room.

So the years went by

I stayed the same

But she began to drift away

I was left alone

Still I waited for the day

When she'd say I will always love you

I neared the table, and I set down the cookies. Yet I couldn't help but notice the note lying next to the hot chocolate mug. I picked it up slowly, my eyes racing over the words.

I can't do this anymore. I can't love you. Not like you love me. I'm sorry

Lonely and forgotten

Never thought she'd look my way

And she smiled at me and held me

Just like she use to do

Like she loved me

Now I know why she played the song. It wasn't about being in love, it was about someone losing their love for you. And I guess that someone was her.

When she loved me

I stood up from the couch and made my way towards the elevator. What was the point? As I watched the floors flash by, I tried to ignore the stinging pain in my heart. I knew at one point this would happen, but I hoped one day she'd come around.

I reached into my pocket for my phone, desperate to turn the song off. It was too painful to hear.

Yet, I froze up.

I listened to the last verse play by, the words echoing into the back of my head.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

when she loved me

I'm sorry I couldn't be enough for you Y/N. 

You were always enough for me.

********

One Year Later

"This is for you."

Happy stood at the side of my bed, holding out a small brown box. At least, that's what I thought it was.

"Is this from Y/N?" I said hopefully.

It's been 389 days since she's spoken to me. I never broke my promise with Tony, I've been taking care of her ever since. I always stay in touch with Happy in case something happens, and I send chicken soup to the tower every time she gets sick. It might sound like much, but I can't think about what I'd do if I lost another Stark.

Keeping her safe was my first Priority.

"Sorry kid," Happy said, "It's not."

"Oh..."

"It's from Tony."

My eyes widened, and I gently took the case from his hands. The case finishing was smooth to the touch, and at closer range I could tell it was a glasses case.

"Why are you giving this to me now?" I asked, "It's been a year, Happy."

"Open it, and you'll find out."

I pressed my thumb against the latch, and pushed the box open. Inside was the pair of glasses Tony wore while he was fighting alongside me during the attack on New York. Specifically the time where I got stuck on the ship and almost got thrown into space.

Next to the sunglasses was a note. A long one.

I looked back up at Happy, and he nodded his head.

"Go ahead, Kid," he said, "read it."

Dear Peter,

I told Happy to give this to you when you need it most. Anyways, look. The world expects you to be the next Iron-man. They need someone to save them without hesitation. But that's any superhero's job, you don't have to be the only one to take the fall. What I expect of you, is way different, I don't need you to be the next man to wear the suit. I need you to be Peter Parker. Because that's what Y/n needs. She needs you. So Meet Edith. Pretty classy, right?

Put them on, you'll know what to do.

Take care of her,

Tony

AHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 300K! I promise things will get better :)