Hashirama/Mika's POV

I stood up, after hacking my heart out, with a sheepish smile.

"Hiiii Hokage-Sama...." I drawled sheepishly. Hiruzen merely sighed at me before glancing at a still stomaching crying Tsukimoto.

"Never again!" Tsukimoto wailed, rolling around on the floor while holding his stomach. I sweatdropped at him before turning to look at all the Joūnin.

Hatake Kakashi, Sarutobi Asuma, Yūhi Kurenai, Mitarashi Anko, Mor-

"YOUTH!"

-Morino Ibiki, Maito Gai and is that Tsuchishiro over there!?

"Tsuchishiro!!!" I called, waving my hand wildly.

"Kill me."

Tsukimoto perked up with a smirk as he stared as Tsuchishiro, eying him like a piece of meat.

"I will after I eat you." He purred, wiggling his eyebrows. Tsuchishiro groaned before turning to Hiruzen and gave him a pleading look, which he nodded to. Tsuchishiro lifted his right hand and disapeared, taking Tsukimoto's happiness with him.

"MY LOVE!" He dramatically yelled, holding his heart and falling on his back. I merely cackled at his misfortune and turned to the watching attendees.

"Didn't know I had lovers." I teased, making a few of them cringe. I turned to Hiruzen and grinned.

"Saru-Chan," He cringed. "The lolipop, flower and carrot's base has gone boom." I chirped, using my hands to show him an explosion.

Tsukimoto jumped over to me and nodded, leaning on my shoulder as we made dramatic hand gestures.

"OK." Hiruzen simply muttered as I twisted my head to look at Tsukimoto.

"Whats your dream?" I asked randomly, people began to stare as Tsukimoto just shrugged.

"To own a harem." He said, making me blink.

"With who in it?"

"Tsuchishiro for one. He'll be my bitch," Anko let out a bark of laughter as did Ibiki. "Along with Hyuuga Neji. He'll be everyones bitch in my harem. I also want Uchiha Itachi. His ass... its just..." He trailed off, using his hands to gesture.

"Damn." I whisted for him. He nodded before gaining sparkly eyes.

"I want a harem as well. Maybe getting Kakashi-" Said man choked on air then yelled out a 'I'm to old for you!' "Also Akasuna No Sasori. I want him. Also Naruto. My Uzumaki. And Nagato, red heada forever. Maybe get lesbian and add Terumi Mei." I told Tsukimoto, who nodded.

"Wise choices. Naruto could be an Uke, Sasori a Uke/Seme, same with Nagato. Kakashi would fuck you all-" Again Kakashi yelled out a 'Still to old for you!' "And when you want to go lesbian then Mei would be the best."

Hiruzen coughed, stopping us from planning on who to fuck and not. I leaned over to Tsukimoto and hissed. "Gaara is mine."

He cursed.

"Stop stealing all the red heads!" He barked, making me growl.

"Uzumaki baes!" I argued, making him pause before nodding slowly.

"True. They could go on forever. Plus how did Suna get red heads without the Uzumaki clan?"

"Ahh young grasshopper," Tsukimoto glared at me. "The only reason Rasa chose Gaara is because they must have Uzumaki blood in them. Remember, Uzumaki's are a powerful clan. With great asses."

"I remember Mito-Sama. Best ass ever." Hiruzen sighed, getting a dark glare from me. Due to the Uchiha possessevness and Hashirama husband powers activating.

"MINE! MY UZUMAKI! GET YOUR OWN! UZUMAKI MITO, NARUTO, NAGATO AND KUSHINA ARE MINE. MINE, MINE. MINE!" I barked, holding up my fist as Hiruzen blinked before chuckling.

"Uchiha senses are kicking in, I see Mika-Chan..."

"MIKA!?"

"My Uzumaki!"

"I want Tsuchishiro's ass."

We all turned to Tsukimoto, who was daydreaming, and cringed. What. The. Uchiha.

Oh yeah. He is on Tobirama's side now. I kick him out of my DNA pool. Only Tsunade now. Speaing of which....

Where is my adorable granddaughter?

Hiruzen suddenly pointed at a picture on his desk, as though reading my mind.

I walked over and peared at the picture. A younger Hiruzen, still old. A teen with long black hair that looked like a guy I saw in the afterlife (I think his name was Voldemort? No no... Orochimucho or somin... he appears then for a minute before disapearing.) Another teen with long white hair and a girl.

The girl had bloody huge bazoocas. Like. I was a grown ass man and I'm jealous. She was glaring at both boys and holding a bottle, looking drunk off her proberly amazing ass.

I blinked a few times.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Tsunade!?!?!

B-But she has to big breasts to be the adorable kid I got into betting! She even kept the hair style I picked out for her in my last few days.

Flashback

A smile found its way on my lips as my two grandchildren walked in, smiling like the sun.

"Hashirama-Jiji!" Nawaki yelled as leapt into my arms, hugging me. I ruffled his hair before handing him to Mito, who crushed him in a hug.

I wheezed gently as Tsunade gently hugged me, patting her head as she sat in front of me.

"Want a game Hashirama-Jiji?" She asked as she pulled out a board, Othello. One of my favorite games.

"Of course my little Hime... you know I will always beat you..." I wheezed, smiling at her as she chuckled.

"Sure sure Jiji. I'll believe that when you become a woman." She joked, grinning.

I paused as a smirk grew on my face. "What if I already am?" I whispered, leaning forward as she looked horrified.

"Jiji!" She screamed and turned her head away quickly, making her hair splat into my face.

A frown overtook my face as I glared at her hair.

"Turn... around." I ordered as she did that.

I grabbed Mito's hairbrush and two hairbands, brushing Tsunade's hair gently as she sat still. I parted her hair at her neck and put them in two low pigtails, tightning them carefully.

"There you go little Hime." I whispered as my heart began to slow. Of course, now. Stupid body.

"Jiji? You okay?" She asked as she turned around on my bed, looking at me in worry.

"Get our family. Then we can play our game..."

Tsunade nodded before sprinting out. Mito turned to me with a worried look as I smiled, tears gathering in my eyes.

"Its time my big Hime." I whispered, lying back. Her eyes widened as her face twisted in horror.

"Hashirama-Kun?" She whispered as everyone poured in.

Tobirama was not here because he passed away in battle, handing Hokage over to Hiruzen. Tsunade walked over to my bed and sat down, lookong at me in worry.

"Jiji?" She asked, holding my hand. I merely smiled before picking up an Othello piece, black to be exact, and placed it down.

Tsunade copied my actions as we began to play. Hours passed as my actions became sluggish and my heart stuttered a few times. I slammed down the finale piece and flipped over all the pieces, beating Tsunade.

"Damn it." She hissed. I chuckled weakly as everyone began to look back over at us.

"Tsunade..." I called out and made he look at me in my eyes. Mito began to sob in the background as I gave my biggest smile.

"Yes Jiji?" Tsunade asked as she sent a worried look to Mito.

"Engrave this in my tombstone, Okay?" I asked, gripping her hand as Nawaki and Mito slithered their hands into my other one.

"J-Jiji?" Tsunade whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. "No..."

"All... Uzumaki... asses..." I whispered as my heart began to stop, shivering as a dark cold entered my body. "Belong... to... Senju..."

My body slumped, my head dropping as everyone yelled.

"HASHIRAMA-JIJI!!!!" Tsunade and Nawaki screamed as a smile found its way on my face. Exactly my children. All Uzumaki asses belong to Senju Hashirama.

Flashback end.

A cackle escaped me as I rubbed my hands.